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Man comes out to family about being Gay, does not go well

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    #122
    SpaceTime
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,088 ✭✭✭SpaceTime


    I think some people here don't quite understand the mentality of someone who grew up online. Many of that generation don't really have a 'public' vs 'private' sense in the same way that anyone older does.

    Life goes online and that's kinda how they do things.

    This guy's 20 so he was born in 1994. By the time he was 13 there were iPhones and YouTube's been around since he was 11 and Facebook since he was 10.

    Many of that generation simply put EVERYTHING online. It's pretty shocking, even if you're just *slightly* older than that.

    That's just how a significant % of the first fully online generation live - all of life's ups and downs get published.


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    #123
    Zamboni
    Registered Users Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Zamboni


    Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »
    My cousin's dad cut him out when he told him he was gay - the hurt is unimaginable. It's losing your roots - a whole chunk of who you are.

    Yeah. Life can be tough.


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    #124
    paleoperson
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paleoperson


    Y2KBOS86 wrote: »
    When gay patients come of anesthesia they don't normally like that, they sound normal.

    Gradually as they wake up the accent comes back.

    Its a conscious thing that a lot of gay's put on.

    Like when a child hits it head and cries, even though they are not hurt.

    I don't agree with this. I have a voice that sounds a bit like that, and after researching it I believe it's because of prenatal or infant exposure to certain female rather than male hormones during certain windows of growth, the same with homosexuality in general. I didn't become gay, but I do have a voice that's a bit like that.

    Maybe there's a little bit of what you're saying going on, for example I sometimes try to sound tougher and with a stronger/lower tone. But it's actually immensely annoying having to modify your voice every time you speak, I'm pretty sure many gay men actually sound like that.


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    #125
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    How did he record it for his safety exactly?


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    #126
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    0O0 wrote: »
    Camp is interchangeable with fake IMO and needs knocked on the head for me to take anything they squeak seriously.
    If it's natural than it's not fake, so opinion doesn't come into it. The guys I know who hid their homosexuality were still camp when doing so, so they were hardly putting it on when the very thing they were doing was trying to convince people that they weren't gay.
    I also loathe the jealous 'women hating' gays, nothing more than sexist & discriminatory but hey NEVER say anything detrimental about a gay bloke, equality yano.
    If a gay person is a gobshyte in terms of their character, then they're a gobshyte and there's nothing wrong with saying that at all. It's not their attraction to people of the same sex that makes them a gobshyte though.
    Zamboni wrote: »
    Yeah. Life can be tough.
    And people can choose not to make life tough for others.

    I don't agree with the guy videoing it and spreading it around the net, but some of his family members do not come across well; they certainly come off worse than he does, and it's not because he's gay - he just seems more reasonable than they do. A family member was extremely aggressive to him, and his mother was being stupidly contradictory with "I've known you were gay since you were a little boy" and then "This is a path you chose" - as if a little boy would choose something like his sexuality.


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    #127
    Dyr
    Registered Users Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    Fudge You wrote: »
    Where are they from? Navan?

    they're from down cork way...Y'all to be exact


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    #128
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Kiwi in IE wrote: »
    Yes I watched the video. What do you think he did to provoke them?


    Well from what I understand in the video, he'd been insulting his father on Facebook, called his mother a bitch, generally running his mouth off and trying to be smart with his parents when he was well aware that he was filming the incident. If he had been worried for his own safety, the sensible thing to do would have been to move out, not get smart about moving into the basement, then disrespecting his parents in a patronising manner.

    Just how much shìt should a parent have to take when their ungrateful little prick of a son is going out of his way to make them look like fools after raising him for 20 years? He was politely asked to move out, and he stoked an already tense situation, knowing full well how to push the right buttons to get the reaction he wanted on video.

    Why didn't he just move out already? I would hope the only good that comes of this mess is that he would donate all monies raised to charity, and in that way it might go to helping thousands of young teenagers who find themselves on the streets homeless for whatever reason. I can't see him doing that though. Can you?


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    #129
    Corkfeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Corkfeen


    darced wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Except the reason he's being thrown out was made pretty clear, not related to scrounging or anything of the sort. It's because he's gay. You are a pretty atrocious parent if you're fine with disowning your child for such reasons. Exposing how terrible humanity can be is necessary and this is a pretty terrible example in terms of the western world. Would you throw your son out if he came out of the closet?


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    #130
    Rothmans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,805 ✭✭✭Rothmans


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Well from what I understand in the video, he'd been insulting his father on Facebook, called his mother a bitch, generally running his mouth off and trying to be smart with his parents when he was well aware that he was filming the incident. If he had been worried for his own safety, the sensible thing to do would have been to move out, not get smart about moving into the basement, then disrespecting his parents in a patronising manner.

    Just how much shìt should a parent have to take when their ungrateful little prick of a son is going out of his way to make them look like fools after raising him for 20 years? He was politely asked to move out, and he stoked an already tense situation, knowing full well how to push the right buttons to get the reaction he wanted on video.

    Why didn't he just move out already? I would hope the only good that comes of this mess is that he would donate all monies raised to charity, and in that way it might go to helping thousands of young teenagers who find themselves on the streets homeless for whatever reason. I can't see him doing that though. Can you?

    He's hardly going to say Righto mummy and daddy thanks for disowning me, now I'll be on my way.


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    #131
    wp_rathead
    Registered Users Posts: 10,067 ✭✭✭✭wp_rathead


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Well from what I understand in the video, he'd been insulting his father on Facebook, called his mother a bitch, generally running his mouth off and trying to be smart with his parents when he was well aware that he was filming the incident. If he had been worried for his own safety, the sensible thing to do would have been to move out, not get smart about moving into the basement, then disrespecting his parents in a patronising manner.

    Just how much shìt should a parent have to take when their ungrateful little prick of a son is going out of his way to make them look like fools after raising him for 20 years? He was politely asked to move out, and he stoked an already tense situation, knowing full well how to push the right buttons to get the reaction he wanted on video.

    Why didn't he just move out already? I would hope the only good that comes of this mess is that he would donate all monies raised to charity, and in that way it might go to helping thousands of young teenagers who find themselves on the streets homeless for whatever reason. I can't see him doing that though. Can you?

    Did we watch the same video Czar? :confused:


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    #132
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    _taytothief wrote: »
    People have given this guy $32,000.
    That's a ****ing joke.
    The more cash you donate, the more righteous you are


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    #133
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    Pawn wrote: »
    How about tolerance of those who call themselves Muslims?
    Meh, no issue here with people who are muslim once they're not fundamentalist/hypocrites. Ditto christians.


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    #134
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Corkfeen wrote: »
    Except the reason he's being thrown out was made pretty clear, not related to scrounging or anything of the sort. It's because he's gay. You are a pretty atrocious parent if you're fine with disowning your child for such reasons.


    Corkfeen this is a 20 year old man! He's far from a child. Come on like!

    Exposing how terrible humanity can be is necessary and this is a pretty terrible example in terms of the western world. Would you throw your son out if he came out of the closet?


    Exposing how terrible humanity can be should also take account of the fact that this man had obviously written terrible things about his family on social media and then covertly filmed and published on the internet a situation which showed his parents in the worst light possible, knowing full well that some people would only focus on the behavior of his parents and sympathise with him. I personally can't sympathise with anyone that'd call their own mother a bitch, and would also insult their father on social media, then record them and put it on the internet. I'd also be interested to see what he does with all the donations. Let's see how he regards humanity now that humanity has been shown to him.

    Would I throw my son out if he told me he was gay? Of course not.

    Would I throw him out if he was 20 years of age and behaved like the guy in the video? Bet your ass I would.


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    #135
    amkin25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 428 ✭✭amkin25


    In the end the father and mother seem upset about lies he told and stuff he said on Facebook more than him being gay,obviously its hard to tell what the real truth is of the this whole thing with just a short clip started mid argument.


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    #136
    paleoperson
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paleoperson


    I hugely doubt they would throw him out if he asked to come back in a respectful way. It's more a contrived situation where he wants to say he was thrown out by his parents. He's 20, what do you expect - intelligence? If they were throwing him out no matter what, that would change the situation a lot.


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    #137
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Rothmans wrote: »
    He's hardly going to say Righto mummy and daddy thanks for disowning me, now I'll be on my way.


    Of course he's not, that requires a degree of dignity and self-respect which he seems sadly lacking. HE was hardly going to say it, but I've known many people who moved out at 16 and became independent adults who fended for themselves without creating all the drama. I moved out myself at 16 as soon as I was able to and never felt the necessity to air my family issues in public.

    wprathead wrote: »
    Did we watch the same video Czar? :confused:


    We did. His mother told him to move out, and he decided to act like was just told he wasn't getting Buzz Lightyear for Christmas.


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    #138
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    I personally can't sympathise with anyone that'd call their own mother a bitch

    In fairness, she called him a 'son of a bitch'. I'm sure we call all agree that no mother should ever call her own son a 'son of a bitch'.


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    #139
    PopePalpatine
    Registered Users Posts: 11,844 ✭✭✭✭PopePalpatine


    darced wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Nope, his parents need to stop being bigoted.


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    #140
    Mint Aero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,570 ✭✭✭Mint Aero


    Seems legit. Bit like all those "dear john I love that you're out" letters from parents to their gay off spring and left on the fridge etc then uploaded to twitter, excepts this is opposite and conveniently no one is identifiable? How often do you get that these days. Was the guy thinking in the heat of the argument, wow better make sure I dont get their faces cos this is youtube stuff. Would believe it's real and not just actors trying to raise awareness if the guy had to blur their faces out intermittently cos he accidently got them etc.

    It's also full of cleverly scripted double entendre. "by thursday i'll be completely out' lol think you already are. The mother inadvertently calling herself a b*tch etc


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    #141
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    KungPao wrote: »
    Religion really brings out the best in people eh?

    I can picture the queer-hating blokes with mullets and shotguns, and a pickup 'out biyak' with a confederate flag on the window.


    As they drive their 9 year olds to Kaleshnikov lessons.


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    #142
    Corkfeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Corkfeen


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Corkfeen this is a 20 year old man! He's far from a child. Come on like!





    Exposing how terrible humanity can be should also take account of the fact that this man had obviously written terrible things about his family on social media and then covertly filmed and published on the internet a situation which showed his parents in the worst light possible, knowing full well that some people would only focus on the behavior of his parents and sympathise with him. I personally can't sympathise with anyone that'd call their own mother a bitch, and would also insult their father on social media, then record them and put it on the internet. I'd also be interested to see what he does with all the donations. Let's see how he regards humanity now that humanity has been shown to him.

    Would I throw my son out if he told me he was gay? Of course not.

    Would I throw him out if he was 20 years of age and behaved like the guy in the video? Bet your ass I would.
    Regardless of his age,he is still their child. If my parents ever treated me as they treated him, I would probably entirely cut them off.

    He was initially perfectly respectful.He said that he was born this way and his mother started to rant at him how he was not born that way. She said she was throwing him out because of his 'habit'(I have gay friends but I wouldn't want them to be related to me), they started to effectively call him an abomination.

    Would I get angry at them? In all probability yes, you don't think it would be frustrating to be given an ultimatum by one's parents because of your sexual orientation? They're pretty explicit,that's why they did it. The first person to raise their voice was the mother,then they attempted to attack him followed by the father shouting 'queer' at him.... That's terrible parenting and the assholes should be exposed. His mother is a bit of a bitch and his father is an asshole and they said much worse to him.


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    #143
    Its Only Ray Parlour
    Registered Users Posts: 393 ✭✭Its Only Ray Parlour


    According to his donation page, his name is Daniel Ashley Pierce. If you Google his name, you'll find his Facebook profile and you can see him telling all of his friends about the incident. I would post a link to his page because his Facebook profile was even linked in an article about him, but I can't post links yet.

    The whole thing seems legit anyway.


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    #144
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Well from what I understand in the video, he'd been insulting his father on Facebook, called his mother a bitch,


    She called herself a bitch in fairness too and she was right.
    RayM wrote: »
    In fairness, she called him a 'son of a bitch'. I'm sure we call all agree that no mother should ever call her own son a 'son of a bitch'.


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    #145
    _Redzer_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,056 ✭✭✭_Redzer_


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Corkfeen this is a 20 year old man! He's far from a child. Come on like!





    Exposing how terrible humanity can be should also take account of the fact that this man had obviously written terrible things about his family on social media and then covertly filmed and published on the internet a situation which showed his parents in the worst light possible, knowing full well that some people would only focus on the behavior of his parents and sympathise with him. I personally can't sympathise with anyone that'd call their own mother a bitch, and would also insult their father on social media, then record them and put it on the internet. I'd also be interested to see what he does with all the donations. Let's see how he regards humanity now that humanity has been shown to him.

    Would I throw my son out if he told me he was gay? Of course not.

    Would I throw him out if he was 20 years of age and behaved like the guy in the video? Bet your ass I would.

    I've publicly called my dad an asshole heaps of times, because most of the time he is and we don't get on well. I'm just calling a spade a spade, and I don't dress anything up to hide the truth.
    The fact that he's my father makes no difference. I don't treat people well who don't treat me well in return -it's a two-way street after all.

    Why you think it's especially bad for him to have insulted his mother is beyond me. I've met some absolutely horrible mothers I'd have no trouble labelling bitches. And if that was my own mother in such a situation I wouldn't discriminate either.
    Some people are just horrible, and that whole 'no matter what, they're still your parents' waffle is utter shíte. Nobody should get away with treating their children horribly, ever, and still be deserving of their children's respect -especially when their kids are grown adults.

    Now I've never said anything on social media about my dad, but amongst friends I have. If he wants me to stop thinking he's an asshole and calling him an asshole, he can change his tone and be a nicer, more reasonable person. I'm not just saying it for no reason at all.

    I'm 20 just like the guy in the video. As you said, we're not kids, so the days of unquestioning respect are long gone. You want respect, give respect. Simple as.

    I've seen far too many dickhead fathers treat their sons like ****e only for people on the outside to say; "they're still your father". Old fashioned bollox.


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    #146
    Rothmans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,805 ✭✭✭Rothmans


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Of course he's not, that requires a degree of dignity and self-respect which he seems sadly lacking. HE was hardly going to say it, but I've known many people who moved out at 16 and became independent adults who fended for themselves without creating all the drama. I moved out myself at 16 as soon as I was able to and never felt the necessity to air my family issues in public.





    We did. His mother told him to move out, and he decided to act like was just told he wasn't getting Buzz Lightyear for Christmas.

    They were far more disrespectful of him than vice versa, no matter how you try spin it. Also, what are these 'terrible things' on facebook you refer to?


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    #147
    bb1234567
    Registered Users Posts: 5,495 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    If I was him I'd be too embarassed and ashamed to even admit being related to such *****, nevermind tell the world about them.


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    #148
    RedemptionZ
    Registered Users Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭RedemptionZ


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Of course he's not, that requires a degree of dignity and self-respect which he seems sadly lacking. HE was hardly going to say it, but I've known many people who moved out at 16 and became independent adults who fended for themselves without creating all the drama. I moved out myself at 16 as soon as I was able to and never felt the necessity to air my family issues in public.

    Good for you. Regardless of whether or not you think he should be able to fend for himself, he's being kicked out because of his sexual orientation not because he's a financial leech. That's the problem here. He's an adult so his parents are entitled to do that, but it's sad state of affairs when being gay decides even a little bit of why you are being told to leave your house.

    Also I can guaran-dam-tee that the majority of 16 year olds that move out of their house end up either on the streets heading down a worse path or back home after a few months with their family and or friends. Moving out when you're 16 should not be encouraged.


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    #149
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Of course he's not, that requires a degree of dignity and self-respect which he seems sadly lacking. HE was hardly going to say it, but I've known many people who moved out at 16 and became independent adults who fended for themselves without creating all the drama. I moved out myself at 16 as soon as I was able to and never felt the necessity to air my family issues in public.

    We did. His mother told him to move out, and he decided to act like was just told he wasn't getting Buzz Lightyear for Christmas.

    His mother told him to move out because she didnt want people thinking she was ok with her son being gay, she says that herself. That's a pretty sh1t thing for a mother to do regardless of how old he is or whatever circumstances he's still living at home. Don't know the details.

    He calls his mother a bitch after he's called a queer by his father, a piece of sh1t by his mother and physically attacked by several people. Yeah she's a bitch.

    I don't know the details of what he did or didn't say on facebook or whatever, maybe he was a prick, but that family just turned on him purely because he's gay and because they're ignorant as shit.


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    #150
    Corkfeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Corkfeen


    Rothmans wrote: »
    They were far more disrespectful of him than vice versa, no matter how you try spin it. Also, what are these 'terrible things' on facebook you refer to?

    They mention in the video that he called his father racist on facebook. I would shocked if it wasn't true tbh......


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    #151
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    RayM wrote: »
    In fairness, she called him a 'son of a bitch'. I'm sure we call all agree that no mother should ever call her own son a 'son of a bitch'.


    I can of course agree with that, but I don't think one can justify the other tbh. It's just my own personal opinion obviously, but calling any woman a bitch, let alone your own mother...

    Well, again, I wouldn't kick my son out for being gay, but if he ever called his mother a bitch, I wouldn't give him time to pack his bags. If you want respect, you have to give respect, and if someone is disrespectful towards you, that doesn't justify you being disrespectful towards them. You have to set an example if you want people to treat you the way you would like to be treated. Some people won't follow your example, but the vast majority of people will.


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