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A short poem

Tenz · 2013-08-12 19:46:08

Hi everyone - Looking for some feedback please. I haven't really written anything since school, but I've always liked reading poetry. I got the urge to write again last week and this was the result. I think it sounds a little juvenile, so I'm a bit scared to show it to anyone I know, but would love to know what people…

12-08-2013 8:46pm

#1

Tenz

Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭

Join Date: August 2013

Posts: 36

Hi everyone - Looking for some feedback please. I haven't really written anything since school, but I've always liked reading poetry. I got the urge to write again last week and this was the result. I think it sounds a little juvenile, so I'm a bit scared to show it to anyone I know, but would love to know what people think. Please be honest....

‘Wanna dig to Australia?’
‘How are you going to do that?’
‘You just dig right down, through the centre of the Earth.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. My brother did it, the week before last.’

Inspired, we splintered lollipop sticks off the hard ground.
Kept going down.
Digging….digging.
‘Can you ask your Dad for a shovel?’
‘Naah…he’s too busy.’

When we did finally go to Australia,
We went on two different planes.
Separated by twenty years of change,
Teenage squabbles, wounded pride, first love and age.
Too late we regretted that,
Our lives already tracing very different arcs.

Today, I passed that spot again.
Where the groundsman had our futile marks filled in.
‘Rabbits’, he said. ‘Bloody rabbits’
‘We’ll have to put some concrete in.’

Do you remember our tunnel?
Our escape to victory!
Or is it wrapped in bitter memory?
All the miles beneath our feet, and all the dirt within!
How far would we have to dig, do you think?
To meet as friends again.

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