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Calamari will never taste the same again ... thread losts its way... Puntastic

  • 08-07-2010 11:37pm
    #1
    WalterMitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,582 ✭✭✭


    The mating habits of deep-sea squid have been revealed for the first time, after the discovery of a male squid with a huge elongated and erect penis. The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body, including the squid's mantle, head and arms.
    That shows how male deep-sea squid inseminate females; they use their huge penis to shoot out packages of sperm, injecting them into the female's body.
    The discovery may also help explain how giant squid mate in the ocean depths.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8792000/8792008.stm


Comments

  • #2
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    WalterMitty wrote: »
    The mating habits of deep-sea squid have been revealed for the first time, after the discovery of a male squid with a huge elongated and erect penis. The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body, including the squid's mantle, head and arms.
    That shows how male deep-sea squid inseminate females; they use their huge penis to shoot out packages of sperm, injecting them into the female's body.
    The discovery may also help explain how giant squid mate in the ocean depths.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8792000/8792008.stm

    but dont cows and sheep mate the same way, not going to change me eating them


  • #3
    Einhard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,920 ✭✭✭Einhard


    WalterMitty wrote: »
    The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body,

    I can only empathise with the poor bastards...


  • #4
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    "The penis of the squid, which had extended only slightly over the mantle margin, suddenly started to erect, and elongated quickly to 67cm total length, almost the same length as the whole animal."

    Hahahahaha.... *points and laughs at tiny cocked squid*


  • #5
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    WalterMitty wrote: »
    The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body

    Wow! Mine too!

    Mind you, I'm only 4 inches tall.


  • #6
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    are we talking your normal squid, or giant squid


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  • #7
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    WalterMitty wrote: »
    The male squid's sexual organ is almost as long as its whole body,

    In human terms he's be squids in.


  • #8
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Sharpshooter wrote: »


    In human terms he's be squids in.

    That pun is so fishy, it's off the scales.


  • #9
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    Sharpshooter wrote: »

    In human terms he's be squids in.

    he went to great lenghts

    <gets coat>


  • #10
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    irish-stew wrote: »

    he went to great lenghts

    <gets coat>


    If you're looking for thanks for that post, as a seal of approval, you'll be waiting with baited breath.


  • #11
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    starbelgrade wrote: »


    If you're looking for thanks for that post, as a seal of approval, you'll be waiting with baited breath.

    sounds like your trawling for some there as well

    :p


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  • #12
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    irish-stew wrote: »
    sounds like your trawling for some there as well

    :p

    Well, at least I'm not being koi about it. :p


  • #13
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    Well, at least I'm not being koi about it. :p

    Carp at you!:p


  • #14
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    This is a load of pollocks


  • #15
    RolandIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    YUM!

    where do i get me some squid? :D


  • #16
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    Well, at least I'm not being koi about it. :p

    theres a time and plaice for it


  • #17
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    whiteman19 wrote: »
    YUM!

    where do i get me some squid? :D

    In the sea, silly.

    Now get trout of here!


  • #18
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    A man walks into a pub with a squid. Says to the bar man "This squid can play any musical instrument you care to give it!"

    Bar man is unconvinced so pulls out a trumpet. The squid grabs it and starts playing "Loser".

    Bar man then pulls out a guitar. The squid grabs that and knocks out "Crosstown Traffic".

    Finally the bar man pulls out some bag pipes.

    The squid grabs them and starts thrashing them around the room. His owner is shocked and say to his squid "What the hell are you doing, why aren't you playing it?"

    At which point the squid says "Play it? I can't even get its knickers off!!!"


  • #19
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes.

    "I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "O.K." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!"

    A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

    Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

    "Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!"

    The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

    "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

    "Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show.

    That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"


  • #20
    RolandIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    this thread is starting to sound fishy. i think you're all trying to cod me.


  • #21
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    whiteman19 wrote: »
    this thread is starting to sound fishy. i think you're all trying to cod me.

    Yeah, I think the whiting is on the wall for this thread.

    I think I'll get on my pike and sling me hook.


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  • #22
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    KungPao wrote: »
    In the sea, silly.

    Now get trout of here!

    OK, stop, eel only take offence if he doesn't believe you're only codding him.:eek:


  • #23
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    OK, stop, eel only take offence if he doesn't believe you're only codding him.:eek:

    Hopefully he didn't take it the wrong ray.

    :)


  • #24
    RolandIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    this thread is becoming a bit of a red herring. :D

    what plaice will i go to next?


  • #25
    Brendog
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,976 ✭✭✭Brendog


    It won't taste the same again??


    oh thats good...


    because it tastes like ****


  • #26
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    whiteman19 wrote: »
    this thread is becoming a bit of a red herring. :D

    what plaice will i go to next?

    Ranting and Rayving?








    2 ray jokes in a row...sorry!:o


  • #27
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    KungPao wrote: »
    Hopefully he didn't take it the wrong ray.

    :)
    I'd hake that, tbh.


  • #28
    hip_priest
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭hip_priest


    Skate-ing on thin ice now.


  • #29
    christ on a bike!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 476 ✭✭christ on a bike!


    This thread has no sole


  • #30
    ixoy
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 17,994 Mod ✭✭✭✭ixoy


    The mods will be kraken their whips if this continues.


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  • #31
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    christ on a bike! wrote: »
    This thread has no sole

    Well you're no kelp!:(

    Halibut you try harder before we come to blows and I batter you.:p


  • #32
    KungPao
    Registered Users Posts: 4,784 ✭✭✭KungPao


    This thread has gone off the whales, really lost it's cray.

    I'm carpbroken a trout it all.


  • #33
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    ixoy wrote: »
    The mods will be kraken their whips if this continues.

    That would be a reel shame, I'm having a whale of a time.


  • #34
    hip_priest
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭hip_priest


    Spare the rod...something something something....


  • #35
    Jackobyte
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,321 ✭✭✭Jackobyte


    <insert humorous fish pun>


  • #36
    Fringe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Fringe


    With all the sex the squid has, hope it doesn't catch crabs.


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  • #37
    revz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 478 ✭✭revz


    Do you like fish sticks?


  • #38
    kiwilostineire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭kiwilostineire


    revz wrote: »
    Do you like fish sticks?

    yes... I like fish sticks...


  • #39
    RVD420
    Registered Users Posts: 919 ✭✭✭RVD420


    kiwilostineire wrote: »
    yes... I like fish sticks...

    lol, ghey fish


  • #40
    danniemcq
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,163 ✭✭✭✭danniemcq


    Ok I think I caught up to this thread so I’m gonna jump in for the halibut. I feel like we're only breaking the crustation of this story. For example is it hard for him to take abyss through it? I mean the scale of this problem could be huge. I think this is a great oppor-tuna-ty for further.

    Anyway I’m I think I’m floundering now so I’m gonna go tuna piano


  • #41
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    How big is the mickey?


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  • #42
    Sea Sharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭Sea Sharp


    danniemcq wrote: »
    I mean the scale of this problem could be huge.

    That's what sea said!!!

    I still don't fully understand puns


  • #43
    W.Shakes-Beer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    Ah for the love of Cod can we get back on topic?


  • #44
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Fishtales presents: "Harry the horney Hallibut and his technicolour codpiece!"


  • #45
    --Kaiser--
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    Lads, ye're only fishing for compliments, quit carping on and try it from a new angle, I know there are some shark minds out there so I'll be whiting perched on the edge of my seat


  • #46
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Jackobyte wrote: »
    <insert humorous fish pun penis>

    FYP


  • #47
    delta_bravo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,567 ✭✭✭delta_bravo


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    That pun is so fishy, it's off the scales.

    Its actually a mollusc and not a fish. /pedant


  • #48
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    delta_bravo wrote: »
    Its actually a mollusc and not a fish. /pedant

    Pollacks.


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