Another update

brokensoul · 15-02-2008 2:13pm #1

6 months sober today.

My other updates have been really positive but im afraid this one is not so much so.

As iv posted in other threads my partner is having a really hard time struggling with his own addictions and i just got made redundent.

And to put the tin hat on it, i failed my driving test today - despite having lots of lessons and my instructor being certain i would pass.

Feeling pretty low at the moment, clinging to the thought that a drink wont make it better.

I thought things would be so much more in order once i gave up drinking though, and at the moment it feels like things are just getting worse and worse.

Soberity is worth it, but tough times are still tough times and giving up alcohol doesnt make you immunr from lifes crap. I guess thats all i can say for now...

RossFixxxed · 15-02-2008 2:17pm

Sorry to hear that, but everything you mention has happened me and I guess all I can say is it WILL pick up, but it might take a little time. Try to focus on some other positives. A drink will NOT make it better, god I know it won't.

Stay sober, keep the chin up and there's always people around to help, even if it is some randomer like me!

You've got yourself this far, you can only guide your partner as best you can and be there for him, and set your own example

I really do wish you the best, feel free to PM or just talk stuff out in here! That's what we're here for and lord knows there's some absolutely fantastic people on this forum.

R

barbiegirl · 15-02-2008 2:18pm

hang in there. Sobriety will be worth it. Go for a walk or a run, it'll get the heart pumping and take your mind off things. Or a bubble bath and book. Personally when I was going through a really hard time I lost myself in books, helped me forget my issues. Good luck.

watna · 15-02-2008 2:19pm

I understand that you're having a few set-backs but you're right to stick with it. Most people have times when they're low or sh*t things happen but don't turn to alcohol/drugs to get through it. You know it's better to live through the crap and come out on the other side, a better person.

I've read a few of your posts and it seems you're doing well so stick with it! When I failed my driving test for the second time I cried for about an hour, felt like a failure (was having a hard time anyway), bought a pair of shoes and then felt fine. I did the test a few weeks later and passed. Don't let it get you down. Try again! I understand that failing something like that when you're feeling crap anyway can seem huge - it did to me but you'll soon realised in the grand scheme of things it's not!

pyramuid man · 15-02-2008 2:58pm

I am not trying to be funny before anyone tries to say I am.

Well you are six months sober today and thats great and congrats. You may have hit a low but at this point things can only get better. Dont forget to let all your anger out and not hold it inside. Exercise and just keep telling yourself that things can only get better. It does an awful lot.

Dizzyblonde · 15-02-2008 3:28pm

Congratulations on reaching 6 months!! That's really some achievement. Try to stay positive, though I know it's hard sometimes.

kmick · 15-02-2008 3:32pm

Failing your driving test while it may seem bad to you today its not a big deal in the scheme of things. Its not as if you are off the road or had a crash which would be worse. Head up, get yourself a bar of chocolate and a cup of tea/coffee, relax and remember no matter how bad you have it lots of people have it worse than us all.

RuailleBuaille · 15-02-2008 3:34pm

6 months is a fantastic achievement OP, well done!

The difference between sober and not-sober suffering is that when you're sober you'll pull through having learned something and grown, however long it takes, and when you're not sober you have to add the guilt to all the **** you're not dealing with and it'll all be waiting for you, wrapped up in a nice big comedown.

Stay strong, you're worth it.

brokensoul · 15-02-2008 4:00pm

Thanks to all.

I know that the driving test isnt the end of the world - it was just that on top of everything else it just really got to me. I started crying in front of the tester - dammit anyway!!

Going to head to a meeting tonight and then meet a buddy for ice cream - ill be the size of a house if i continue to comfort eat!

LouOB · 15-02-2008 4:04pm

6MTHS - GO ON YA GOOD THING

Thats along time and well done. Be proud of what you have done but understand other factors are not helping. But 6mths is 6mths.
We are sent battles in life and things to shake us, you are in the middle of a life storm - eh like that saying might use it again. Hold onto your M&S whites and face the storm.

When all else fails persistance pervails.

Major pat on back for BrokenSoul

RossFixxxed · 15-02-2008 4:07pm

brokensoul wrote: »

Thanks to all.

I know that the driving test isnt the end of the world - it was just that on top of everything else it just really got to me. I started crying in front of the tester - dammit anyway!!

Going to head to a meeting tonight and then meet a buddy for ice cream - ill be the size of a house if i continue to comfort eat!

That's a terrible thing to say, there is ALWAYS time for ice cream

cowzerp · 15-02-2008 4:31pm

Focus on the positives, fair play to ya-6 months and counting..

Drift · 15-02-2008 4:40pm

6 months is great going, don't give up now. Remember that regardless of what happens in your life the next 6 months will be easier without drink than the first!

Also don't worry about crying at the driving test. My sister did too and the instructor said it happens a LOT. So you're in good company.

Hang in there and save me some ice-cream!

LegacyUser · 15-02-2008 5:14pm

Fair play on 6 months! Keep up the good work, you'll get that driving test some day and when you do you can look back on today with a smile :-)

2 scoops of chocolate FTW

Geoffey Saucer · 15-02-2008 5:27pm

Go for a swift pint
Whats the worse that could happen

brokensoul · 15-02-2008 5:33pm

Geoffey Saucer wrote: »

Go for a swift pint
Whats the worse that could happen

I guess the worst that could happen is that i lose my grip on sanity and end up at the bottom of the river, cos thats certainly where i was heading before i got myself into recovery.

watna · 15-02-2008 5:33pm

brokensoul wrote: »

I guess the worst that could happen is that i lose my grip on sanity and end up at the bottom of the river, cos thats certainly where i was heading before i got myself into recovery.

I wouldn't bother responding to trolls brokensoul, it's not worth it! I reported it anyway a few minutes ago.

Geoffey Saucer · 15-02-2008 5:41pm

what?
i just re-read the thread
i thought you were depressed over redundancy and the driving test.

I skim read it, didnt see the 'on the dry bit'
Apologies

Marksie · 15-02-2008 5:53pm

Geoffey Saucer: I will accept that apology at face value, for now. But read the threads

kluivert · 15-02-2008 6:18pm

Its great to read good news on here every now and again. Keep at it and you will start to notice things falling into place. Congrats on hitting six months.

Highly recommend walking. I use to play football on my own, me, a ball and a wall. The ball and the wall use to get the most of it

.

Am 24 and grew up just mum and I through bad times mainly poverty, am an accountant now and I worked very very hard to get here and I never once gave up on myself even though there was times I just wanted to pack it all in. Am currently moving into my new house with my future fiance to be.

Hang in there its worth in the long run.

Ben and Gerrys rocks!

TequilaMockingBird · 15-02-2008 9:15pm

SIX MONTHS!
GOOD ON YA GIRL!

Electric · 16-02-2008 7:31pm

First off congrats on the 6 months sober!!!

It's a very hard won achievement and you are right a drink will only make you feel worse.

I know how you feel when you just have a couple of weeks of pure and utter crap. But stick with it you know it won't last forever. And you will be so much more proud of yourself if you stick with it

As for the driving test I've failed mine twice and the first time I bawled (and I mean bawled) my eyes out in front of the tester. Soooo humiliating! But he said it happens alot - so much so that he kept a box of tissues on his desk!

The second time I was so pissed I flung my very nice handbag containing my lovely and expensive make up, phone and mp3 player at the nearest wall. Not my finest moment :rolleyes:

The best advice I can give you know is to get out of the house meet up with friends have ice cream and chocolate they WILL make you feel better.

Oh and put in for your driving test as soon as you can!

estar · 16-02-2008 8:57pm

its good to be so honest

you want a drink, you also know that its a momentary relief
for a whole lot of grief!!!

people have bad runs of luck and good runs.

disappointment is part of life.

so losing your job and failing your test are part of lifes bumps
you have no control over. sometimes industries go wrong and
people lose their jobs. i failed my test FOUR times, cried every
time.

the partner issue. his struggle is not your struggle. you
have no control over his behaviour. he must walk that path
alone. you can encourage. but if hes going to fail then
maybe its because he doesnt want sobriety enough yet.

you must think of yourself first. two people with addictions
unless they are sober for years, regularly works. sorry to
tell you that, but its because the two people are often
attracted by each others weaknesses and not their
complementing strengths - which is often what makes
a strong relationship. if he hasnt conquered his issues
yet, then maybe he needs to be alone for a while, or
given some space in order to get his life in order.

and if he isnt able to do that on his own, then you
dont have to be his crutch. we are born into this world
alone, and we die alone. and self inflicted issues such
as addiction - the answer only comes from within.

all the support in the world doesnt work if they dont
have a yes in their heart and their head

best of luck.

you can overcome. you will be rewarded if you stay strong.
if you lapse, things will get worse.

estar · 16-02-2008 8:58pm

your achievement of 6 months is very impressive

well done. that takes a lot of will power and self
restraint.

i dont know if you use AA but perhaps you could
boost your resolve by attending a meeting or two.

barkingmadlolly · 17-02-2008 12:20am

Congratulations!!! 6 months is brilliant, I know that its very tough with all that is going on but try to stay positive

Another update

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