hugs (a weird post i know)

LegacyUser · 13-02-2008 3:16am #1

Just wondering, am i the only person in the world that gets nothing off hugging people? Am i blocking some emotional response that I shouldnt be. Im just a normal every day bloke but when it comes to hugging people i just do it for the sake of it, whether its a death in the family and im being consoled, or I havent seen someone in years, a girl or an ex or something, or im excited about something I never get anything off a hug.

Im actually laughing about this as I type it,and never realised it was even an unusual thing until i mentioned it just in passing and friends were shocked. The more people I told the more concerned(slightly) I got. I even told other male friends in a drunken open conversation and even they were a bit surprised when I emphasised the fact that I get NOTHING off hugs. Ive even started hugging more ,lets say, properly just because I know the other person enjoys a good hug, but for me personally I get nothing and just wait for it be over. Its a weird thing that doesnt affect me in a bad way or anything,franky Im only writing this as it sprung to mind while sitting here.

I might add that im not an unemotional person, ive felt the heartache of loving someone and breaking up, ive felt sorrow for other people, i get excited over things.

Anyone else share this strange phenominon(if thats spelt right)

Black Swan · 13-02-2008 9:10am

Hugphobic? Not me!

dudara · 13-02-2008 9:41am

For me it all depends on who is hugging me. My family aren't very tactile and neither am I.

People at work who are mad into hugs do nothing for me. You go through the motions and smile. TBH, I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

When it's my partner, it's a different story. I could stay hugging him for hours.

larko · 13-02-2008 9:48am

I have the same thing. People tell me I'm not a tactile person, so maybe thats it.

I don't like hugs or anyone holding my hand, linking my arm whatever. I have thought about it and felt like I was missing out so I tried to think about why I don't get anything from it. I guess when I was growing up my parents were never hugging people so maybe that's why I am not used to it. My younger sister is exactly the same as me but the others aren't. It's a strange one.

greenkittie · 13-02-2008 10:01am

I love hugging my boyfriend, feels really great!

Anyone else hugging me though actually makes me feel physically sick to my stomach. My friends know this and hug me just to piss me off!
No one in my family touches each other or anything, seems kinda creepy to me. A male friend of mine says he hugs his Mummy at least 4 times a day :eek:!

seamus · 13-02-2008 10:16am

dudara wrote: »

For me it all depends on who is hugging me. My family aren't very tactile and neither am I.

People at work who are mad into hugs do nothing for me. You go through the motions and smile. TBH, I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

When it's my partner, it's a different story. I could stay hugging him for hours.

^^ What this lady said

I could live without hugs from other people, except my fiancé. That said, they don't necessarily make me uncomfortable. I've been reliably informed that I give good hugs, so I don't wish to deny them from the world

It wasn't until I started going out with my girlfriend that the practice even became known to me. She hugs everyone, even new "friends" she barely knows. Aside from my dog (and maybe my mum as a kid), I don't think I had ever hugged anyone before.

I do get uncomfortable at things though like people (who aren't family or good mates) patting me on the back or putting their hand on my arm, or holding my hand while they're talking to me. It's just...odd.

Marksie · 13-02-2008 10:43am

Ahhh that smacks of emotional disconnection.
Being closed off and not allowing yourself to feel to open to the experience.
Now i take it its hugs from any source.

In tantra there is a very specific hug you give to freinds and loved ones. Its designed to open and establish this connection.

Its known as the melting hug.

its none sexual but very bonding.
You take your time with it. In the approach you maintain eye contact and juts surround the other person with your arms, so that the fronts are touching lightly.
Haed over the shoulders.
You just breathe very deeply and relax into it. allwoing yourself to go with the relaxation you "melt" into the other.
and appreciate the other.

Initially you will feel tension but if you breath and relax and let go you will begin to experience an opening to teh feelings.

As i said its a tantric process, but very useful

Sleepy · 13-02-2008 11:05am

Nah, don't think it's that unusual, a very good female friend of mine would be the same but to the point that she actively dislikes hugs.

chris_oc · 13-02-2008 11:19am

One of the funniest things JD (from Scrubs) ever said on the show was "You wanna hug??...they're free!!!"

now thats a guy that likes hugs...:p

minidazzler · 13-02-2008 11:30am

Well that's not exactly a bad personal issue but anyway. Most people have most hugs and are complacent about it.

Hugs can be fantastic though. Just a long embrace is one of the most enjoyable things ylou can get! If it is dont right!!!

amoeba_girl · 13-02-2008 8:15pm

Nah, I see where you're coming from, before I came to college none of my family or friends were ever huggy, we all just like our space, and I remember when people first started hugging me here it really freaked me out, and it still does at times. I never understood why people did it, but I find that to not hug kinda creates a tension and you're probably best to just hug back if someone initiates a hug.

I'd never initiate one.

Susannahmia · 13-02-2008 8:42pm

I only like hugging my boyfriend, no one else. Random people who try to hug me freak me out.

purplegeko · 13-02-2008 8:53pm

I'm definitely not a hugger to the point were i just tap the other person on the back to say ok thats enough.
Just like amoeba_girl i would never start the hug.Maybe the way i was brought up would be my only explanation.
I have no idea gow the free hugs campaigner got so many people to hug him.
Great vid free hugs

Tusky · 13-02-2008 9:35pm

Marksie wrote: »

Ahhh that smacks of emotional disconnection.
Being closed off and not allowing yourself to feel to open to the experience.
Now i take it its hugs from any source.

In tantra there is a very specific hug you give to freinds and loved ones. Its designed to open and establish this connection.

Its known as the melting hug.

its none sexual but very bonding.
You take your time with it. In the approach you maintain eye contact and juts surround the other person with your arms, so that the fronts are touching lightly.
Haed over the shoulders.
You just breathe very deeply and relax into it. allwoing yourself to go with the relaxation you "melt" into the other.
and appreciate the other.

Initially you will feel tension but if you breath and relax and let go you will begin to experience an opening to teh feelings.

As i said its a tantric process, but very useful

So...just like a normal hug then ?

Susannahmia · 13-02-2008 9:38pm

Marksie wrote: »

Ahhh that smacks of emotional disconnection.
Being closed off and not allowing yourself to feel to open to the experience.
Now i take it its hugs from any source.

In tantra there is a very specific hug you give to freinds and loved ones. Its designed to open and establish this connection.

Its known as the melting hug.

its none sexual but very bonding.
You take your time with it. In the approach you maintain eye contact and juts surround the other person with your arms, so that the fronts are touching lightly.
Haed over the shoulders.
You just breathe very deeply and relax into it. allwoing yourself to go with the relaxation you "melt" into the other.
and appreciate the other.

Initially you will feel tension but if you breath and relax and let go you will begin to experience an opening to teh feelings.

As i said its a tantric process, but very useful

That just sounds creepy to me!:D

Marksie · 13-02-2008 9:47pm

Susannahmia wrote: »

That just sounds creepy to me!:D

http://thehugdoctor.tripod.com/

star-pants · 13-02-2008 9:51pm

It's interesting how many people aren't fond of hugs. I'd die without hugs, hugs make me feel better - not crap hugs though, you can feel if someones giving you a hug for the sake of it, as in they don't really want to.
Our family's quite huggy so I would always have hugged a lot, and I like to think I'm a very affectionate person, I prefer hugs to handshakes. I always mean the hugs I give, and I enjoy hugs.
Obviously hugs from boyfriends are a bit different, there's different emotion tied in with that and some days you need one of those (even if you don't have a boyfriend, you want a boyfriend hug)
I do genuinely get sad if I've had no hugs for a while, and I will go to my mother and say 'I need a hug' (or vice versa). Obviously it depends on the person, I do know a few people who aren't into hugs, and so if you're not into them, they won't mean much, but if you are into them - they really can make your day.

(*sighs and wishes to self she had someone to hug*)

Marksie · 13-02-2008 10:11pm

star-pants wrote: »

(*sighs and wishes to self she had someone to hug*)

*hug*

star-pants · 13-02-2008 10:42pm

Marksie wrote: »

*hug*

*hug* right back

Overheal · 14-02-2008 1:03am

My family isn't very huglike, and it helps that i live out in the world

Hugs are good for you coming from the right person, and the right situation: a platonic hug is certainly going to do little or nothing for you. I'm a bit surprised though you dont feel anything off those 'I've missed you' hugz.

You saying you've never had an intimate hug with somebody, or something? Those are awesome..

edit: dammit now I want a hug!

eyeball kid · 14-02-2008 2:41am

Not into higs either. Don't think I've ever hugged anyone in my family.

Only once hugged a fella. That was when Ireland scored a goal against Spain in the World Cup 2002. There was drink involved of course.

Hugging girlfriend is ok though. Anyone else is kinda uncomfortable.

m83 · 14-02-2008 2:50am

I'm mad for hugs me.

Allison91 · 14-02-2008 2:52am

I love hugs..I love the word hugs. I hug everyone in my family except my little sis now I feel mean.lol.

Jesus Wept · 14-02-2008 2:58am

Marksie wrote: »

http://thehugdoctor.tripod.com/

That guy has got a serious hard on for hugs.

chris_oc wrote: »

One of the funniest things JD (from Scrubs) ever said on the show was "You wanna hug??...they're free!!!"

now thats a guy that likes hugs...:p

I charge, but it's worth it.

Lawless_Samurai · 14-02-2008 3:30am

They mean alot to me. My mother was ill for three years before passing away last year. In her last year she became very very weak she could barely lift her arms and lost her speech.

Even though it killed her to do so everytime she saw me for the first time that day or whatever she would lift her arms and hug me followed by the softest kiss on my cheek.

Since she passed away I think about every hug I give and am reminded of my mam.

Sorry for the sad post but I had to after reading the OP. It reminded me of Her

greenkittie · 14-02-2008 9:41am

Lawless_Samurai wrote: »

They mean alot to me. My mother was ill for three years before passing away last year. In her last year she became very very weak she could barely lift her arms and lost her speech.

Even though it killed her to do so everytime she saw me for the first time that day or whatever she would lift her arms and hug me followed by the softest kiss on my cheek.

Since she passed away I think about every hug I give and am reminded of my mam.

Sorry for the sad post but I had to after reading the OP. It reminded me of Her

Thats really touching. Its actually making me want to hug my Mummy.

star-pants · 14-02-2008 9:58am

Overheal wrote: »

edit: dammit now I want a hug!

*HUG*

Lawless_Samurai wrote: »

T
Since she passed away I think about every hug I give and am reminded of my mam.

*HUG* that is sad hun but I'm glad you can remember her that way.

Lawless_Samurai · 14-02-2008 12:18pm

*HUG* Back at ya Star Pants

Thanks for your comment too greenkitten

Saruman · 14-02-2008 12:25pm

Im the opposite, we never hug in my family.. although it seems to be starting now im an adult and have moved out

Anyway as a result i guess i was deprived of them and now i love them. I always hug my wife.

Marksie · 14-02-2008 1:21pm

The-Rigger wrote: »

That guy has got a serious hard on for hugs.

Me? Well hugs are a great way to connect and a good melting hug will make you feel a hell of a lot better and wanted

aye · 14-02-2008 1:40pm

whoa, not many people like hugs. mad.
me and my mates hug a bit. bloke mates i mean. not big embraces or anything just the handshake into a half hug thing.

i dunno, maybe we are just very close or something.

Overheal · 14-02-2008 2:11pm

Who's up for arranging a hugz flashmob

marie_85 · 14-02-2008 2:12pm

I love hugs. Absolutely love them. I don't hug my family much, except for my sister, but I would hug most of my friends when I see them.

During the summer, was at a street fair in the States and there was a guy walking around with a heart shaped balloon saying 'Free hugs' on it. Obviously a bit of a pick up line but even a hug from a stranger lifted my mood a couple of notches for the rest of the day.

A bit random, but even the word 'hug' is great.

That said, there are people who I'm uncomfortable around and who I don't like touching me or hugging me.

Jesus Wept · 14-02-2008 10:26pm

Marksie wrote: »

Me? Well hugs are a great way to connect and a good melting hug will make you feel a hell of a lot better and wanted

I meant the hug doctor, or are you the same person?

chris_oc · 15-02-2008 11:52am

The-Rigger wrote: »

That guy has got a serious hard on for hugs.

I charge, but it's worth it.

"i like!..how much??" (borat):D

pop40 · 15-02-2008 4:05pm

Hugs stopped being a normal thing in family when i got to a certain age, so iv never been a very huggy person. i rarely hug anyone in my family now.
i had a summer job where everyone was very huggy and i suppose they broke down my hug barriers. and i must admit that i was alot happier by then end of the summer. im still not the most huggiest person in the world, unless im drunk

but i do believe that it has to be the right person or situation for a hug to be enjoyable.

wow this is like seeing someone yawn and then having to yawn yourself. i want a hug so bad right now.

Hrududu · 15-02-2008 5:21pm

I can count on one hand the number of times I've hugged family members in my entire life. I thought nothing of it until reading this thread. If I havent seen a friend in a while there will be a hug but I really don't get anything out of it, its more that I feel its expected.

Dragan · 15-02-2008 5:55pm

It's okay dude, some people just don't get anything off hugs and that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. It's just an aspect of who you are.

The important part of your post for me is that you still hug people as you realise that THEY might enjoy it. Shows your a good person dude.

Alternative, you just never received the right hug in the right circumstances?

hugs (a weird post i know)

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