Sex Change

StraddleFor6 · 28-08-2009 11:51am #1

If you could be the opposite sex for a day, what would you do?

Long Onion · 28-08-2009 11:52am

Moan, flick bean, moan again

Or Alternatively, spend my early teenage years extremely bitter about the fact that I can only get some action when out with a hot friend.

Realise a number of years later (whilst working in a customer facing job in the civil service) that this is due to the fact that I am ugly and bitter.

Become lesbian.

Give out about the fact that women are down trodden and shoddily treated second class citizens.

Turn every argument into an "evil dirty men" argument.

Convieniently ignore the following whilst arguing that the world is still 100% male dominated:

Angela Merkel, Sheila Bair, Indra Nooyi, Cynthia Carroll, Ho Ching, Irene Rosenfeld, Ellen Kullman, Angela Braly, Anne Lauvergeon, Lunn Elsenhans, Christina Fernandez, Carol Bartz, Sonia Ghandi, Ursula Burns, Anne Mulcahy, Safra Catz, Christine Lagarde, Gail Kelly, Marjorie Scardino, Chanda Kochhar, Mary Sammons, Michelle Bachelet, Paula Reynolds, Carol Meyrowitz, Andrea Jung, Mary McAleese, Mary Robinson, Mary Harney, Mary Coughlan, Mary Mother of God ...

Then refuse to put out, thus further lowering men's estimation of me

Then get more bitter

Not see the irony in that fact that burning my bra just gives men a better look at my tits.

Move to Canada.

Post on Boards

TestTransmission · 28-08-2009 11:54am

Lesbian threesome

Tea_Bag · 28-08-2009 11:55am

have lots of fun....................................... flicking beans

Oh The Humanity · 28-08-2009 11:55am

I'd spend all day going between the pub and the betting shop, scratching me balls and swaggering about looking at whoever I liked. I'd start a couple of fights with smaller fellas and then go home for me tea, which 'the missus' would cook. I'd then don me flat cap again and go back to the pub and watch whatever sport was on and become an expert in spectating that sport by the time the night was out. I'd make clumsy passes at women way outta me league and fap to page 3 in the gents. Then I'd go home and fall asleep in a pool of drool very happy with me lot. :pac:

Lola92 · 28-08-2009 11:56am

Slut it up not be known as a tramp but rather, a player. :cool:

Long Onion · 28-08-2009 11:57am

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I'd spend all day going between the pub and the betting shop, scratching me balls and swaggering about looking at whoever I liked. I'd start a couple of fights with smaller fellas and then go home for me tea, which 'the missus' would cook. I'd then don me flat cap again and go back to the pub and watch whatever sport was on and become an expert in spectating that sport by the time the night was out. I'd make clumsy passes at women way outta me league and fap to page 3 in the gents. Then I'd go home and fall asleep in a pool of drool very happy with me lot. :pac:

No sex - you very much are of the female persuasion ...

pikachucheeks · 28-08-2009 11:58am

Sit there, contemplating how females really are the superior sex!

Oh The Humanity · 28-08-2009 11:59am

Long Onion wrote: »

No sex - you very much are of the female persuasion ...

I DID have sex, REAL MAN sex -made passes at women outta me league and beat me meat in the jacks so THERE !

RossFixxxed · 28-08-2009 12:02pm

Run outside in the rain in a white cotton T shirt. In slow motion.

Buy a LOT of baby oil!

Treat any man who even says hello as a potential murderer/rapist.

Wazdakka · 28-08-2009 12:05pm

Start some fantastic new rumors with every girl I can find about how amazing this Wazdakka guy is in bed.

Also, Get everything possible waxed just to prove that wimmins bitch way too much about it hurting..

J.Ball · 28-08-2009 12:06pm

Complain, Shop, Flick, Complain, Flick... seem very busy when really im not and complain about being so busy and finally cry to win an argument.

Lola92 · 28-08-2009 12:08pm

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Treat any man who even says hello as a potential murderer/rapist.

LMAO;)

Likewise treat all women as a potential roide....:eek::P

Boxfresh · 28-08-2009 12:09pm

I'd enter the womens 800m athletic championship and pick up a gold medal by thrashing all the other women.

thomond2006 · 28-08-2009 12:09pm

Run for American Vice-President.

Saibh · 28-08-2009 12:11pm

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Run outside in the rain in a white cotton T shirt. In slow motion.

Buy a LOT of baby oil!

Post a few "pics or gtfo" posts

RossFixxxed · 28-08-2009 12:11pm

Lola92 wrote: »

LMAO;)

Likewise treat all women as a potential roide....:eek::P

I don't know how much of a treat it would be for them!

I think force all women as a roide is better.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 28-08-2009 12:14pm

Head down the women's changing rooms at the local gym...

...flick bean....

biko · 28-08-2009 12:24pm

I'd spend the day in the pub, getting a guy to buy me drinks and then go off and snog his mate girlfriend.

My name is URL · 28-08-2009 12:26pm

I'd make some sammiches

It BeeMee · 28-08-2009 12:27pm

Probably be too busy playing with those lovely boobs to do anything else...

Turd Ferguson · 28-08-2009 12:29pm

Learn how to park a car again...

Canis Lupus · 28-08-2009 12:32pm

Knowing my luck I'd turn when I'd be having 'that time of the month' and I'd spend the day absolutely horrified, disgusted, irritable and unable to move or look at 'it' cos it would be minging.

pikachucheeks · 28-08-2009 12:32pm

A friend of mine once told me she wishes I was a guy, so we could hook up.

I'd totally call her up on it, if I was a man for a day.

:pac:

Biggins · 28-08-2009 12:34pm

Mila Kunis on the day they filmed the lesbian hot raging sex scene for the film black swan, with Natalie Portman!

See here: http://www.joblo.com/portman-kunis-sex

Long Onion · 28-08-2009 12:35pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Knowing my luck I'd turn when I'd be having 'that time of the month' and I'd spend the day absolutely horrified, disgusted, irritable and unable to move or look at 'it' cos it would be minging.

Yeah, but at least you'd have an excuse to don some white trousers and play the cello/go horseriding/can-can dancing/whatever-the-fcuk-else-they-put-on-those-poxy-ad's ...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm BODYFORM..........................................................

ibarelycare · 28-08-2009 12:36pm

I'd shag a girl doggy style... And not give a crap if she enjoyed it or not :pac:

Canis Lupus · 28-08-2009 12:39pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

I'd shag a girl doggy style... And not give a crap if she enjoyed it or not :pac:

Man sex rocks :P

Tea_Bag · 28-08-2009 12:46pm

Biggins wrote: »

Mila Kunis on the day they filmed the lesbian hot raging sex scene for the film black swan, with Natalie Portman!

See here: http://www.joblo.com/portman-kunis-sex

thats just glorious pornography that film.

cant wait to see it now.

if i could be any woman, id want to be natalie portman. yummy.

jester77 · 28-08-2009 12:46pm

Guess I would do what is my duty... clean the kitchen, bathroom, put on the washing, clean the windows, scrub the floors, change the sheets, throw out the rubbish, cook a big feast and flick the bean for the evening!

Canis Lupus · 28-08-2009 12:53pm

jester77 wrote: »

flick the bean for the evening!

And record it for your man.

DrumSteve · 28-08-2009 1:08pm

I'd show everyone my awesome drivin skillz.

Then go home and see how much stuff I could fit in me Gee.

Tea_Bag · 28-08-2009 1:08pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

And record it for your man.

record it for myself when i become a man again.....

thats kinda incest though isnt it?

ScumLord · 28-08-2009 1:10pm

I'd use my new found woman skills to give the flat a good clean.

admiralofthefleet · 28-08-2009 1:17pm

i would stand on front of the mirror and play with my boobies, then i would play with my beef curtains

Zigmund · 28-08-2009 1:20pm

I'll be the first to say it...

Yore Da.

Scrambled egg · 28-08-2009 2:23pm

Spend the day taking photos of myself

Long Onion · 28-08-2009 2:26pm

I would also consider using my new found feminine charms to convince Stephen Hawking to create a machine capable of re-writing the rules of space and time, once that was done, I'd ride myself - explosive ......

Blazer · 28-08-2009 2:28pm

Look for the cucumber section in Dunnes or Tescos.

Long Onion · 28-08-2009 2:34pm

Berkut wrote: »

Look for the cucumber section in Dunnes or Tescos.

The Tesco's ones come ready wrapped in a plastic condom - this makes them cu...bers.

candy-gal1 · 28-08-2009 2:37pm

pee standing up
have a ****
go to a strip club

rainbow kirby · 28-08-2009 2:39pm

Have a ****, strut around in boxers all day, burp and fart all I wanted, and eat the biggest load of junk food possible without worrying about my weight.

Turd Ferguson · 28-08-2009 2:41pm

Oh also I'd go to a club and flirt the balls of some guy and be all over him. Then I'd go back to his house and just as we were about to have sex I'd shout "PSYCHE!!!!" and run away....I really hate when that happens to me :mad:

Piste · 28-08-2009 2:42pm

Jizz everywhere.

Everywhere.

Take pictures of my cock (which would be MASSIVE) and throw them off high buildings.

Jizz some more (maybe also off some high buildings)

Long Onion · 28-08-2009 2:44pm

Piste wrote: »

Jizz everywhere.

Everywhere.

Take pictures of my cock (which would be MASSIVE) and throw them off high buildings.

Jizz some more (maybe also off some high buildings)

You should NOT be allowed mod the junior cert forum.

Naos · 28-08-2009 2:44pm

Lola92 wrote: »

Slut it up not be known as a tramp but rather, a player. :cool:

Ah but you see, it's harder for a guy to slut it up than a woman.

I'd parallel park to astonished onlookers.

RHunce · 28-08-2009 2:51pm

Piste wrote: »

Jizz everywhere.

Everywhere.

Take pictures of my cock (which would be MASSIVE) and throw them off high buildings.

Jizz some more (maybe also off some high buildings)

pervert

laugh · 11-09-2009 11:59pm

Long Onion wrote: »

junior cert forum.

:eek::pac:

MizzLolly · 12-09-2009 12:01am

If I were a boy..

hmm I'm not sure actually. I don't think I want to be a man.

rednik · 12-09-2009 12:14am

Watch a couple of complicated movies and try to figure out why she asks so many questions during a film. Stop it there,who's he,what was that,go back on that.:P

Novella · 12-09-2009 12:24am

I'd walk down Henry St with one hand down my pants! It seems to be the cool thing to do if you're a guy and I wanna know why!

Sex Change

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