Taxi Driver

lost marbles wrote: »

hope you remembered what he looked like ,car etc
because it happened me a few years ago two scum done a runner and it must have been two years later that i picked up the same two .asked them did they want to go to the laneway .they nearly sh1t themselves .all apoligies dropped them off only halfway home [in the middle of no where]and got the two fares .
remember dublin is a small place

Thats a bit of a coincidence isn't it. Never happened to me though.

Where did you drop them off first time, where's this lane? What did they look like?

Are you a racist prick who subjects his customers to long winded rants about "dem foridners"??

You dropped them off in the middle of nowhere?? In Dublin?? How'd ya manage that one??

Fiend-Foe wrote: »

Are you a racist prick who subjects his customers to long winded rants about "dem foridners"??

You dropped them off in the middle of nowhere?? In Dublin?? How'd ya manage that one??

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Spook_ie and lost marbles banned.

But.. But, he never told me how?

redout wrote: »

Who is walt ?

Walt is/was military slang now more widely used to describe someone who is all talk, or pretends to be something they are not.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Mitty

In relation to the knowledge thing I'll throw you a few nuggets. I've done two PSV driving licence tests. One for Louth/Meath which was a bit of a bare bones rules of the road and taxi specific equipment and operation open question set up and the Dublin one.

I suppose the big problem with the Dublin test is the lack of variation in the questioning over the years so the suppliers of so called PSV courses have probably been able to get their hands on most of the questions so it's become a bit of a parrot job passing the test hence the fact that people with zero knowledge of Dublin geography are able to pass. Apart from the rules of the road and tariff question you can break down the geography bit in a couple of broad chapters.


The first one would be route selection and description, you are allowed to use names of streets, bridges and landmarks to supply the answer. You're not supposed to use motorways or toll roads unless they're an essential part of the shortest route/most cost effective way of getting to a destination
( the M1 going from the airport to town for example while the M50 from the airport to Our Lady's Hospital for Sick Children is a big nono ). A couple of route questions I remember from my test are :

- Beaumont Hospital to the Garda Carriage Office
- The National Basketball Arena to the Mater Hospital A&E
- Heuston Station to the Waterways Museum
- The Royal Dublin Hotel to Elm Green Golf Course

An acceptable answer for a question, let's use the case of The Royal Dublin to Elm Green Golfcourse, would be : O'Connell Street, Parnell Street, Smithfield, Manor Street, Prussia Street, Navan Road, Navan Road-Castleknock Bypass, Auburn Roundabout, Dunsink Lane.

The second one would be locations of hospitals. A street name or a description are accepted answers.

Let's say the Mater Private. If you answer Eccles Street you're on the money. For St Vincents Psychiatric Hospital you could answer the Fairview end of the Richmond Road. For JCM in Blanchardstown you could answer of the Navan Road beside Waterville.

The third one would be as I call it broad lines navigation. You're given an area and you're supposed to give three other areas bordering it. For example if the given area is Coolock you could say Clonshaugh, Beaumont and Donaghmede. You could just as well get Balbriggan or Ballybrack thrown at you and everything in between.

The fourth one is musea. Let's say Collins Barracks of Benburb Street or another acceptable answer would be near Heuston Station near the Aisling Hotel near the Civil Defence depot if the name of the street wouldn't come to mind straight away.

You get similar questions on Embassies and Government Depts.

Anyway folks, just to give you an idea how it works. The intention of the test and the level of knowledge asked for is fairly comprehensive. Unfortunatly I think the questions have become a bit compromised over the years. Oh yes, the most important one : an overall score of 70% and if I remember correctly not less than 50% of the "geography" stuff is a pass.


Anyway folks, my taxi driving days are over and I'm not one bit sorry. I had good times, bad times, great craic, hilarious situations, sad situations, a couple of scares and more than one near miss and a couple of times a when I seriously felt like defecating bricks. Believe me, there's a couple of lads floating around on boards who know me, I'm no small lad and I won't back down too easily but some people are downright scary feckers.

On a parting note, I only once used a considerable amount of force throwing out a passenger and it was a woman who had tried to brain her husband with the business end of a highheel shoe. She landed in a ditch and her other half in Beaumont and my car looked like the slaughter line in Keepak on a busy day. Stevie in the local copshop getting his story in before they could and the Gardai calling to the house getting my money.

No I've never accepted sexual favours, the one time they were offered I had to decline because they weren't of my sexual preference and I'm sort of old fashiondly loyal to herself. It ended with our buddies in the Gardai providing a night B&B for my slightly confused and disorientated passenger. In fairness to the guy when he had sobered up the next day he told the Guards to please pass on his sincere apologies and to hand me over the money he left in for the fare plus a healthy tip for putting up with him. Anyway, if you're reading this lad, no offence, apologies accepted and please next time don't use the funny tablets and drink a bit less. You're most likely an allright lad when you have your wits about you.

A question you often get asked is if you had any celebs in the car and which ones are the nicest : Derek Mooney is great craic, extremely sociable and more than just witty. Niall Quinn is one of the nicest people I've had in the car although he had a hard time contortioning himself into the front seat of a Skoda Octavia. And I have to say David Walliams is a gent and boy does he know his classics. Oh, and Glenda Gilson is deffo not a stuck up twat, on the contrary and compared to a lot of other models she actually looks better in real life than in pictures.

Hearing moans about or by Taxi Drivers is nothing new. If drivers don't like it the job, why not get out. If you're not making enough or less welldo something about it. What does a painter do on a wet day?

I find it hard to believe that earnings are now so poor as to be below the minimum wage, and if so, so what?

But what makes me curious is how come under regulation, despite all cars having printers, there is no offical method of recording income! Why is that? It's unbelieveable when for example a store owner or even a chipper is required to keep till rolls, but somehow the taxi owners have no accountability, which seems crazy, given the predominant cash nature of the business?

I think many people would be surprised how little income tax is paid by taxi drivers, even back in the good days.

A key issue is that many taxi drivers seem to lack the mental stamina to compete or be willing to accept the importance of being competitive in an increasingly competitive marketplace. Low standards pre-date the Regulator.

When I hear the moans about numbers, costs and foreigners, I always remember the time Woody Allen's spoke of his support for more stringent legislation outlawing sexual discrimination in the work environment .....'especially for the self employed'.