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Any advice?

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  • 27-08-2014 1:15pm
    #1
    northdubgal
    Registered Users Posts: 743 ✭✭✭


    I'm in a dead end marriage. We just do not get on at all anymore. We've broken up at least 6 times in the past year which is just a joke. We two children, house was bought by him just as we started going out and mortgage is in his name. House is in negative equity. We're barely surviving money wise but we can't live together anymore. I can't see a way out, I have no where to go with the children; he has no spare money to rent. Has anyone else been in a similar situation that has any advice? I need a separation and badly need to live apart. I've rang citizen info but they weren't very helpful. Feeling very trapped and alone.


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    #2
    Jamaican Me Crazy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭Jamaican Me Crazy


    First of all, have you considered marriage counselling? Maybe if you could get to the root of the problems you could find a way back?

    Have you discussed separating calmly with your husband? There is no point trying to discuss it mid fight.
    Are you working?
    You need to begin separating in terms of practicalities. Start sleeping in a separate bedroom and have your salary paid into a separate bank account if you are working.

    Would he be in a position to stay with family for a while? If you are not in a position to stay living together, someone has to move out. Contact your local authority ASAP and get your name on a housing list, they also may be able to help you with some sort of rent relief.

    I don't really want to make any comment on the house because you would really need legal advice on that.

    Day 1 of separation is horrendous, even year 1 is horrendous but it does get easier. Try and avoid fighting as much as possible. Look at going to mediation and draw up a separation agreement that way. Its a lot cheaper and at least you get to decide your own fate.


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