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End of me tether

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  • 21-01-2014 3:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Going annonymous for this as my wife uses this site also.

    Long story short my wife and I have been seperated for nearly 9 years and living together all this time. We never went for a legal seperation but things have now become very bitter and the long and the short of it is she wants the house sold and half my savings. Question is is there any way I can fight this? Please if anyone can give me some non legal general advice of any experiences they have.

    The woman has not worked in nearly 15 years and I pay all the bills etc.


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    #2
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    pleasehelp11 wrote: »
    Going annonymous for this as my wife uses this site also.

    Long story short my wife and I have been seperated for nearly 9 years and living together all this time. We never went for a legal seperation but things have now become very bitter and the long and the
    short of it is she wants the house sold and half my savings. Question is is there any way I can fight this? Please if anyone can give me some non legal general advice of any experiences they have.

    The woman has not worked in nearly 15
    years and I pay all the bills etc.

    Not being smart OP but where's the problem? What I'm trying to say is that she appears to want a 50/50 split - what argument do you have to say that isn't fair.

    As for my own experience I'd have killed for that deal but in fairness my circumstance was totally different.


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    #3
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    You could cut out the middle man and just sign your half over to a solicitor now. If you fight it it'll cost thousands and you'll most likely lose. Split everything 50/50 and move on. You could if you had the money offer to buy out her half for less than market value for cash straight into her hand. Save waiting to sell and paying estate agent etc fees. I've seen it work with people on good terms.


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    #4
    vinnie13
    Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭vinnie13


    split it 50/50 and walk away..solicitors will eat up thousands(you will end up paying hers anyway and she will have the top dogs)


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    #5
    smcgiff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    Not saying this is what I'd do, but you might want to spend it rather than hand over half your savings.


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    #6
    vinnie13
    Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭vinnie13


    smcgiff wrote: »
    Not saying this is what I'd do, but you might want to spend it rather than hand over half your savings.

    Always a option :) new rolex car and a cruise spend


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    #7
    smcgiff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    vinnie13 wrote: »
    Always a option :) new rolex car and a cruise spend

    Unfortunately an asset would be considered half hers.

    He could always buy an expensive college course or the cruise. Now's the time to do it as effectively his ex will be paying half the cost. What more incentive is required.


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    #8
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    vinnie13 wrote: »
    Always a option :) new rolex car and a cruise spend
    smcgiff wrote: »
    Unfortunately an asset would be considered half hers.

    He could always buy an expensive college course or the cruise. Now's the time to do it as effectively his ex will be paying half the cost. What more incentive is required.
    smcgiff wrote: »
    Not saying this is what I'd do, but you might want to spend it rather than hand over half your savings.
    Right now they could split everything 50/50 and walk away. Pull a stunt like above and she finds out and she could drag it out for ages eating up any money they both have with solicitors.


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    #9
    smcgiff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    ken wrote: »
    Right now they could split everything 50/50 and walk away. Pull a stunt like above and she finds out and she could drag it out for ages eating up any money they both have with solicitors.

    If the money gets eaten up in solicitors fees then she loses out too. Give her some credit.


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    #10
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    smcgiff wrote: »
    If the money gets eaten up in solicitors fees then she loses out too. Give her some credit.
    Hell hath no fury.......


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    #11
    smcgiff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    ken wrote: »
    Hell hath no fury.......

    I see your idiom and raise you...Fortune favours the brave. :)


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    #12
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Mod note: Back on track here guys.

    OP - go talk to a solicitor get some advice on what you could be left with if you challenge this and if you know some people who have gone through this talk to them too. Personally I have seen some bad breakups, don't think I have seen a 50/50 split just yet, last one I witnessed was 70/30 in the wife's favour...


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    #13
    Oscars Mum
    Registered Users Posts: 83 ✭✭Oscars Mum


    Go with it.... Pity the house sale is forced, can you buy her out?


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    #14
    MouseTail
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭MouseTail


    Is there children involved?
    i cannot imagine how you have managed to live together for so long whilst separated, in my view the best outcome for everyone at this stage, is to draw a line under it, sell the house, split the assets and move on.


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    #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies folks.

    Unfortunately I can't buy her out as I don't have that kind of money at my disposal.

    Our children are all grown up and over the age of 21. I don't see why I should give her half my savings when she has not worked for so long and the majority of what I have saved I saved after we separated. But maybe I am fighting a losing battle. I just couldn't bear it when I pay every single bill and have done for years.


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    #16
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Are there kids in the equation?
    pleasehelp11 wrote: »
    seperated for nearly 9 years
    living together all this time
    she wants the house sold and half my savings
    The woman has not worked in nearly 15 years and I pay all the bills etc.
    If there are kids involved, I'd say the courts will award her half, but if not, I don't know what entitlement she'd have to your money.


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    #17
    MouseTail
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭MouseTail


    Op back wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies folks.

    Unfortunately I can't buy her out as I don't have that kind of money at my disposal.

    Our children are all grown up and over the age of 21. I don't see why I should give her half my savings when she has not worked for so long and the majority of what I have saved I saved after we separated. But maybe I am fighting a losing battle. I just couldn't bear it when I pay every single bill and have done for years.

    Staying at home to care for children is counted as work by the Courts. You really should have sorted all this out when you separated first. If you had no legal agreement then, it will be very hard to argue that assets acquired after this when you both remained in the family home are not marital assets. You are fighting a losing battle imo


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    #18
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Op back wrote: »
    I don't see why I should give her half my savings when she has not worked for so long and the majority of what I have saved I saved after we separated.
    Since you didn't legally separate, is it recorded anywhere that you did separate? I ask as if it's hard to prove when you separated, what you earned since said separation may be hard to prove. The kids age when you separated may also come into the equation.

    You should really talk to a solicitor about this who specializes in this sort of thing.


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    #19
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    My youngest was 17 when we separated so I don't think that matters, also she was not looking after the kids and has not in about 15-20 years. None of them even have a relationship with her.

    Our joint bank account was closed once we separated would that be counted as 'evidence' of the separation?


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    #20
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Opback wrote: »
    My youngest was 17 when we separated so I don't think that matters, also she was not looking after the kids and has not in about 15-20 years. None of them even have a relationship with her.
    17 is still a minor, so I don't know if you could use it to your advantage.
    Opback wrote: »
    Our joint bank account was closed once we separated would that be counted as 'evidence' of the separation?
    Not a lawyer, but it should help create a timeline.

    =-=

    As said before, lawyer up. Check around with your mates, and see if anyone knows of a good solicitor.


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    #21
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Has anybody been in the situation where their spouse has started removing property from the family home before any seperation agreement/divorce has been finalised?


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