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Penis theft panic!

  • 26-06-2008 3:26pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 777 ✭✭✭


    KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
    Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
    Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
    Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
    "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
    Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
    "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.
    "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.
    Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
    "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

    http://weirdnews.about.com


    Next time somebody laughs at your tiny willy, you can say that a sorceror shrunk it.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,179 ✭✭✭FunkZ


    A crowd of crazy whacky nutjobs!


  • Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭chickenhawk


    boogle wrote: »
    Next time somebody laughs at your tiny willy, you can say that a sorceror shrunk it.

    No. It was the sight of yore ma that shrunk it. (just getting it out of the way)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 777 ✭✭✭boogle


    She was always good at the oul bit o' sorcery


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭Daftendirekt


    Pffft... I've been using that one for years. Now at least I know a country where it might work!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    So they're being charged with taking the mickey?

    I'll get me coat


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭Daftendirekt


    javaboy wrote: »
    So they're being charged with taking the mickey?

    I'll get me coat

    I lol'd


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 777 ✭✭✭boogle


    javaboy wrote: »
    So they're being charged with taking the mickey?

    I'll get me coat

    You get a gold star


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 777 ✭✭✭boogle


    No. It was the sight of yore ma that shrunk it. (just getting it out of the way)

    Is that what happened to yours?


    Time delay on that one...


  • Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭chickenhawk


    boogle wrote: »
    Is that what happened to yours?


    Time delay on that one...

    Quick and witty comeback!! :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,191 ✭✭✭The_Hustler


    Old news. I've read it before anyway.
    Just saw this is from back in April. No more penis thefts reported since?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    Penis threads deliver,


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,543 ✭✭✭JerryHandbag


    javaboy wrote: »
    So they're being charged with taking the mickey?

    I'll get me coat

    hoho leave your coat where it is :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 167 ✭✭RexMundi


    This news was in the metro over a month back.
    I remember having a good laugh about it in school.

    They also broke the story of a man who "got intimate" with a hedgehog after consulting a witch doctor on a cure for his erectile dysfunction. That was in Holland I think...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,758 ✭✭✭Stercus Accidit


    Sure those stupid bastards thought it could happen via text message awhile back too.

    posted via penis theft device


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    RexMundi wrote: »
    This news was in the metro over a month back.
    I remember having a good laugh about it in school.

    They also broke the story of a man who "got intimate" with a hedgehog after consulting a witch doctor on a cure for his erectile dysfunction. That was in Holland I think...

    Well if he didn't have a little pr1ck before, he sure had a few after.

    /I'm still looking for my coat :o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    boogle wrote: »
    Next time somebody laughs at your tiny willy, you can say that a sorceror shrunk it.
    Good stuff.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭togster


    javaboy wrote: »
    /I'm still looking for my coat :o

    Its here. Hanging on the end of my penis.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,413 ✭✭✭TeletextPear


    javaboy wrote: »
    Well if he didn't have a little pr1ck before, he sure had a few after.

    /I'm still looking for my coat :o


    haha you're on fire today :pac:


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