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Unbalanced relationships : age / past relationship experience

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  • 01-06-2008 8:48pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This probably registers pretty low on the list of issues posted here and some might say I’m looking for a problem where there isn’t one but I’d still be keen to hear some feedback from others who have once been in a similar situation.

    I’m 22, she’s 26 (though theoretically at the same stage in our lives, on the same Masters), she’s had three serious 2+ year relationships in the past (last guy who she imagined spending the rest of her life with), this is my first relationship of any sort.

    Though everything is pretty perfect now, I can’t help fearing this will eventually run into a wall and the differences will start affecting us?

    Anyone have any experience in a similar(ish) situation?


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    #2
    Karen_*
    Registered Users Posts: 1,610 ✭✭✭Karen_*


    RandomRelQues wrote: »
    This probably registers pretty low on the list of issues posted here and some might say I’m looking for a problem where there isn’t one but I’d still be keen to hear some feedback from others who have once been in a similar situation.

    I’m 22, she’s 26 (though theoretically at the same stage in our lives, on the same Masters), she’s had three serious 2+ year relationships in the past (last guy who she imagined spending the rest of her life with), this is my first relationship of any sort.

    Though everything is pretty perfect now, I can’t help fearing this will eventually run into a wall and the differences will start affecting us?

    Anyone have any experience in a similar(ish) situation?


    Well the age gap isn't huge and you both have things in common and move in the same circles. So there's every chance things will work out. Also just because you're gf has a few exes doesn't mean that you'll become one too. There's no real way of predicting what will happen so I'd say just relax about things and try to stop worrying. Enjoy things for what they are at the moment and it just might work out. I hope it does. :)


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    #3
    cowzerp
    Registered Users Posts: 10,549 ✭✭✭✭cowzerp


    no big deal as long as you's are both on the same wave lenght!

    Rush Boxing club and Rush Martial Arts head coach.



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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    i was in the same situation as you - 22 going out with a 26 yr old, similar stage in life, similar level of maturity, my first relationship, her third. i was clueless, she was clued-in. the romance period was amazing, then the power-struggle part was tough but we got through it without any major quarrels. i wanted everything to stay perfect, she wanted more independence. eventually we broke up because our lives went in different directions and to different countries but there were no hard feelings and we both gained a lot from the relationship. i learned that having a relationship isn't the one thing thats been missing in my life and in order to make it work you have to be able to stand back once in a while and do your own thing.

    she is choosing to be with you and you have to trust her. age is definitely not an issue especially if you have the same short term goals. the only issue we had was that her friends were starting to get married and her parents were asking serious questions. this annoyed her and made her feel that little bit older but she was young at heart and i never felt like she was any different than me. i never had an issue with the age difference and actually i think i prefer older women because they know what they want and are better communicators.

    so just drop it - don't think about it for a second. enjoy every moment.


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    #5
    shoegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,018 ✭✭✭shoegirl


    only issue i'd see would be that if you've had a couple of 1-year plus relationships you do develop a better picture of what you do/don't want and are much quicker to spot problems. Communication helps a lot I find, its much easier to get your fears out now, rather than worrying about it further down the line.


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