Just saw ex ... crying now ....

dietcoke1145 · 04-07-2008 1:31pm #1

Hi boardsies. Just had to vent really. My ex finished with me coming on 21 months now after a 6 year relationship (living together). I had nowhere to live when we split so moved back in with parents. Have bought a house since, got back in touch with friends who I had stupidly neglected, go out most weekends and have NEVER contacted him (not even after a few drinks on a night out, even though sometimes I wanted to). To the world I am great for "being so strong" and have probably convinced myself also ... I've done everything by the book since the breakup. Thing is, I just popped out for a sambo and bumped into his two brothers. Felt really sad. Walking down the street two minutes later, he passed me in a car (what are the chances?). I haven't seen him since the split and seeing the whole lot of them in such a short space of time has brought it all back and now I feel awful and I'm crying my eyes out as I write this. He cheated on me at the time and is still with her ... yet I've met nobody and after seeing him, I feel real anger towards him for hurting me and I'm also feeling like a loser 'cause I've just realised I'm on my own. I think I've just regressed to day one ... how am I gonna get through the rest of the day/year ....

cowzerp · 04-07-2008 1:39pm

you never mourned, now you are, thats the start of the end! good luck.

How Strange · 04-07-2008 1:43pm

dietcoke1145 wrote: »

Thing is, I just popped out for a sambo and bumped into his two brothers. Felt really sad. Walking down the street two minutes later, he passed me in a car (what are the chances?). I haven't seen him since the split and seeing the whole lot of them in such a short space of time has brought it all back and now I feel awful and I'm crying my eyes out as I write this.

OP, I'm not suprised you're crying. That's alot of people to meet in one hour especially if you haven't seen them since the break up. It caught you unawares. I'd say let yourself cry until there's no tears left.

You say you showed a brave face to the world after you split so I'd assume from that you bottled it all up and now the damn has burst so you should just let it pour out. A good cry is sometimes just what we need and what rarely let ourselves do because we feel it's a sign of weakness.

He cheated on me at the time and is still with her ... yet I've met nobody and after seeing him, I feel real anger towards him for hurting me and I'm also feeling like a loser 'cause I've just realised I'm on my own. I think I've just regressed to day one ... how am I gonna get through the rest of the day/year ....

As I said, you probably bottled up all these feelings. You were together for 6 years so presumably you'd made long term plans etc so firstly he cheated which is one major breach of trust from someone you loved and trusted, secondly you broke up and you had to move home and thirdly, he's still with the girl. That's alot to deal with.

With regards to moving on, there's no race to finding a new partner. Yes, it hurts that he's with someone but the most important thing for you to do is look after yourself and continue to create a good life doing things that you enjoy and make you happy.

You know you'll get through this. You survived finding out about his infidelity, you moving out and breaking up so you're a very strong person. Just don't be too strong. Talk to you friends about it and lean on them for support.

Good luck

Lucy Locket · 04-07-2008 1:57pm

Hi OP,

I really haven't got any strong advice to give you, I'm currently where you were at 21mths ago, and to see that you have been sooo strong up until now I really do congraluate you....I haven't even gotten to the stage where I can walk away yet! I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now, because that thought makes me sick to my stomach!!

I really do hope you can get over this wall and back to the side you were on until you saw him, you've got your friends back, your own house, you are doing great....You don't need this guy to come and disrupt your world when everything is going great....I hope I can find some of your strength you really are an inspiration.

Hope you feel better soon X

Marksie · 04-07-2008 2:08pm

seems you have repressed a lot of different emotions under anger and "doing things by the book".
But doin things by the book is best done when you can express your emotions fully.

Now they ahve come back and they are beig expressed.
Dont surpress them, they will be out of your system muhc faster if you let them have their day. Then they will be gone and you will move on

Karen_* · 04-07-2008 2:35pm

He's cheating on her now OP, or he will be! You had a lucky escape and now some other girl is miserable. Wouldn't you rather be you than her?

I know it doesn't seem fair that you're on your own and he's not but at least on your own and happy, he'll never really be happy no matter who he's with.

Don't feel like you've gone back to day one because you haven't. You're just having a totally normal reaction to having to take alot in in one day.

you're well out of it OP and huge Kudos to you for having come so far. You'll be ok and you'll meet someone. You're certainly not a loser.

MJOR · 04-07-2008 2:40pm

This OP is sometimes what happens when you think you have dealt with something and really all you've done is buried it.
Have faith... Things WILL get better for you.
You've done incredibly well and remind me of a friend of mine and she is doing so well

Trust me girl when i tell you you were betting off not hotfooting it into another relationship
Cheer up xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gumbyman · 04-07-2008 3:29pm

Hi there,

Really sorry to hear this - that is a horrid situation. I can completely understand the real anger. The prick. I hope you can reflect on it and be thankfull that at least ye didn't get married and have no kids or house together. Best of luck with this. I really feel for you.

Gumby.

dietcoke1145 · 04-07-2008 3:38pm

I just want to say thanks a million to those of you who replied. Lucy Locket .. sorry to hear about your situation. At least I've come this far, and if I can, believe me anyone can. Hopefully today is the last reminder x.

Gumbyman · 04-07-2008 3:41pm

A1 Attitude. Well done.

decies · 04-07-2008 3:48pm

Sorry to hear what happened to you love considering the time you were with him it might take a bit longer to get over him ok.But you have made good steps so well done.Hope you find someone nice who will take care of you.
Best of luck.

Just saw ex ... crying now ....

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