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Do we ever really know anyone?

  • 25-10-2011 10:23pm
    #1
    Bodhidharma
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 942 ✭✭✭


    I've been thinking recently, is it possible to ever really know a person? Everyone has secrets and everyone does things that they would rather keep quiet. What I'm talking about is character, can we ever know a person's true character?

    I would like to think that we can, but I'm an optimist and my theory has been thrown back in my face more than once.

    So AH, you have the floor, can we ever really know someone, or are we only seeing what they want to show you?


Comments

  • #2
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    It takes time to get to know someone, you will never know everything about anyone.


  • #3
    themadchef
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,813 ✭✭✭themadchef


    Christ, i cant say i know myself half the time. Change my mind more often than not. How can i expect anyone else to possibly know me!

    We change, we grow up,or we dont grow up as others do in some cases. All fun and games!


  • #4
    whubee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 175 ✭✭whubee


    well surely, if you dont the person by now, then you will never never really know them.


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=74885784


  • #5
    The Internet Explorer
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭The Internet Explorer


    I've just seen that Grainne Seoige is presenting CrimeCall.


  • #6
    joshrogan
    Registered Users Posts: 855 ✭✭✭joshrogan


    I once heard about this guy call Nickolaus who supposedly knew everything you did naughty or nice and complied it into a list and would give you presents based on the list.


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  • #7
    BBDBB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    Knowing Me, Knowing You...........aha!


  • #8
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    The Internet Explorer wrote: »
    I've just seen that Grainne Seoige is presenting CrimeCall.

    How well do you know her?


  • #9
    MungBean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,915 ✭✭✭MungBean


    Well I know people know me if ya know what I'm sayin so I assume that I'd know people well enough. There will always be a few "Jesus I knew he was a bit odd but never thought he'd actually fcukin kill someone" type surprises.


  • #10
    Bobby Baccala
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,342 ✭✭✭Bobby Baccala


    You're a wizard harry.


  • #11
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭Gee Bag


    If you torture someone long enough and hard enough they'll tell you everything. EVERYTHING!


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  • #12
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭Gee Bag


    joshrogan wrote: »
    I once heard about this guy call Nickolaus who supposedly knew everything you did naughty or nice and complied it into a list and would give you presents based on the list.

    Oh God, I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this, but.............


  • #13
    The Internet Explorer
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭The Internet Explorer


    hondasam wrote: »
    How well do you know her?

    I don't know her. It was a mere observation.


  • #14
    4leto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,940 ✭✭✭4leto


    No, people are forever changing as their life priorities change, its why people drift apart or together.


  • #15
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    No I dont think anyone will ever fully know another human. Not even the closest of family. Everyone has their darkside or little things that they would prefer hidden. Added to this, people change all the time. A close friend that you havent seen in a few years can often change into a very different person.


  • #16
    Eathrin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,076 ✭✭✭Eathrin


    You will never truly know a person. There are deep and dark secrets and other things hidden about a persons past and present that you will never know.


  • #17
    Bobby Baccala
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,342 ✭✭✭Bobby Baccala


    Cian A wrote: »
    You will never truly know a person. There are deep and dark secrets and other things hidden about a persons past and present that you will never know.

    Horcrux's and stuff.


  • #18
    Kadongy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 732 ✭✭✭Kadongy


    Yes you can really know someone. Full disclosure of every bit of dirt in the closet is not required for genuine representation of oneself also.
    Being genuine and honest is a risk. You stand to gain more in terms of genuine and fulfilling relationships, but you also are open/vulnerable to being cheated if you misjudge who to let in.
    Rational answer is to continue seeking genuine and honest relationships and chalk it up to experience when you get ****ed about. Only way you can learn is through experience really.


  • #19
    hondasam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,418 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    The Internet Explorer wrote: »
    I don't know her. It was a mere observation.

    I assumed you knew her as the thread is about how well you know someone.
    Is it about crimeline?


  • #20
    The Internet Explorer
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭The Internet Explorer


    hondasam wrote: »
    I assumed you knew her as the thread is about how well you know someone.
    Is it about crimeline?

    I'm beginning to feel a bit like Gay Mitchell here. Stop picking on me.


  • #21
    Solnskaya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,463 ✭✭✭Solnskaya


    take em as you find em - nobodys perfect and everyone has secrets, I treat everyone the same until they prove that they need special treatment. Apart from women. Jasus, how could you ever know, or hope to understand fully, a woman. They are an enigma. Up there with "how do they get the figs into fig rolls"....


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  • #22
    MungBean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,915 ✭✭✭MungBean


    You may never know the secrets but can certainly know the character and the person surely. The likes of FBI profilers and such would be able to figure you out pretty easily so enough time spent with someone and they would know ya well enough.

    You'll never know the mind of another but you can certainly say you know them and how they operate.


  • #23
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    MungBean wrote: »
    You may never know the secrets but can certainly know the character and the person surely. The likes of FBI profilers and such would be able to figure you out pretty easily so enough time spent with someone and they would know ya well enough.

    You'll never know the mind of another but you can certainly say you know them and how they operate.
    If you believe that you'll be in for a big surprise sometime. People aint always predictable.


  • #24
    Novella
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    No. I don't think we ever really do. I have thought at times that I knew certain people, then they went and they did things I never in a million years would have expected them to ever do.


  • #25
    Baked.noodle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,014 ✭✭✭Baked.noodle


    It is debatable weather or not we will ever really know anything. We have a sensory conceptualisation of reality that is built from neurological wiring, prejudgment and prior interpretation. Observation may be the closest we can come to "knowing" anything. Nevertheless, how well do we know ourselves? How much of our time do we spend observing ourselves? Is this even practically possible? Perhaps we know others better than we know ourselves. I'm sure many married people would agree.


  • #26
    MungBean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,915 ✭✭✭MungBean


    pragmatic1 wrote: »
    If you believe that you'll be in for a big surprise sometime. People aint always predictable.

    As I said there's always gonna be a surprise but not everyone will surprise ya. You might not know all their secrets but you can know their character from what you see and know about them.

    A better question to ask is do we ever pay enough attention to others to know their true character. We dont analyse all their decisions and acts to determine who they really are. We just make a general assumption based on the little we notice. Just as you could be surprised a friend is gay, you may also not have been surprised if you had of paid closer attention to them and not just assumed they were something they were not and based your sense of their character on top of those assumptions.

    I think we could know someones true character if we paid enough attention to them but thats unlikely unless your studying them constantly. Still, assumptions can be right some of the time too so you cant rule out the possibility of knowing someones true character simply by assuming based of what little you do know.


  • #27
    flutterflye
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    People don't just have one true character.
    Different or new circumstances bring out different behaviours.
    You may think you know someone, but you never, ever will.

    You may believe that x person would never and could never do a certain thing, and they themselves may also believe this, but faced with a series of particular circumstances, they very easily could.

    As we learn more, and are exposed to different cultures, societies, opinions, views, experiences, situations etc... our perceptions can alter.

    We even act differently in the company of different people on a daily basis.

    We have no set 'us'.
    Our 'character' is just the behaviour brought about from our ever changing cluster of subjective perceptions of our experiences.


  • #28
    vampire of kilmainham
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭vampire of kilmainham


    Solnskaya wrote: »
    take em as you find em - nobodys perfect and everyone has secrets, I treat everyone the same until they prove that they need special treatment. Apart from women. Jasus, how could you ever know, or hope to understand fully, a woman. They are an enigma. Up there with "how do they get the figs into fig rolls"....
    ha ha very true


  • #29
    LandL84
    Registered Users Posts: 36 ✭LandL84


    I don't believe it's possible to know somebody inside out..
    People are constanly changing, furthermore in every new situation, circumstances they disclose new responses, traits etc which they have never felt or experienced before.. I wouldn't say I know myself very well, because I constantly surprise myself, so in my opinion, knowing other person's real character it's truly impossible.


  • #30
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,466 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    Bodhidharma wrote: »
    I've been thinking recently, is it possible to ever really know a person? Everyone has secrets and everyone does things that they would rather keep quiet. What I'm talking about is character, can we ever know a person's true character?

    I would like to think that we can, but I'm an optimist and my theory has been thrown back in my face more than once.

    So AH, you have the floor, can we ever really know someone, or are we only seeing what they want to show you?

    I think as long as man has a secret porn stash, you'll never really know them fully.


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  • #31
    VenusPlays
    Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭VenusPlays


    The most you'll ever have is a perception of someone. And that's going to be influenced on what you know about them, how they portray themselves in your company and your own personal influences and beliefs. Its like whole 'street devil, house angel' thing. Your mammy thinks you're a saint while all your mates know you're a sinner.

    So no, you'll never really know anyone.


  • #32
    Azureus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,130 ✭✭✭Azureus


    Suprised to see everyone saying you'll never know anyone fully.
    Granted, the majority of people I know I wouldnt know them absolutely but there are a few people in my life that I would put my hand on my heart and say I really truly do know them. I know how they would react in certain situations and I know how certain things would make them feel. I think time spent with someone is crucial to that-eg my mother-nothing about her would suprise me and I could probably tell you in advance how she would respond to any given situation. Same with my best friend. I know her inside out-warts and all and even the things I dont neccesarily like about her I know and accept.

    Im also fully aware that I could be proven wrong with this, Im not naive and I have been screwed over by people I probably thought I knew countless times aswell, but I like to think that the people close to me arent enigmatic strangers, but part of me as I am part of them (if theres a way to make that sound less creepy :s)


  • #33
    Kadongy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 732 ✭✭✭Kadongy


    This thread is putting me in mind of an interesting article I read, which I brought up here. It says that since World War 2 psychiatric patients have generally had a weak sense of their own identity, which leads to weak or no morals. This is the sort of thing that is being described in this thread really. Before WW2 most psychiatric patients were different - they had a crushing sense of responsibility (as opposed to none at all).


  • #34
    Bodhidharma
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Bodhidharma


    Kadongy wrote: »
    This thread is putting me in mind of an interesting article I read, which I brought up here. It says that since World War 2 psychiatric patients have generally had a weak sense of their own identity, which leads to weak or no morals. This is the sort of thing that is being described in this thread really. Before WW2 most psychiatric patients were different - they had a crushing sense of responsibility (as opposed to none at all).

    Thats a very good point. If we dont know who we are then everything becomes acceptable.

    I would also point out that people who say things like "I'm no good" tend to distance themselves from their actions because they will act in a way that justifies their opinion of themselves e.g "I'm no good, I did this terrible thing . . . sure thats what people who are no good do"


  • #35
    Shpuds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43 ✭Shpuds


    I barely know myself at the best of times, I've known himself for years and only found out yesterday he was left handed. I think that's the fun of it, getting to know people. Although some I'd rather not get to know, miserably c*nts.


  • #36
    Baked.noodle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,014 ✭✭✭Baked.noodle


    Emotion can influence our perceptions. Love is blind.


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