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"He broke down", -vs- "she got upset"...

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  • 13-04-2011 1:35pm
    #1
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭


    Just one of those things that's been niggling at me for some time... How come when a guy gets emotionally upset, it is referred to as a guy, "breaking down", or "having a breakdown", with the implied suggestion that he has experienced a nervous breakdown of some sort or another, whereas when the exact same incident is experienced by a girl, the phrase, "she got upset" or "she started crying", is used???

    I recently heard of a guy I know getting upset over a death in the family, and almost automatically it was circulated around the place that he "broke down", and the cause apparently being that "a load of stuff he hasn't dealt with has finally caught up with him and he broke down"... I personally know this guy and know he just got upset at the loss of a close relative. The same death caused females to cry and there was none of the rumours getting circulated about other issues being the cause of emotional upset???


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    #2
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,119 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    Boys don't cry.
    If they do, well then the look like wimmin and must have had a brake down or cracked up.
    Were meant to be strong, can't have lads crying. It's easier just to say he broke down, saves face for the rest of us.


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    #3
    Wolfe Tone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,670 ✭✭✭✭Wolfe Tone


    The "big boys dont cry" sh!te that we have all been fed.


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    #4
    Kadongy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 732 ✭✭✭Kadongy


    I'm not familiar with this. I have heard both used for both sexes, and would use them interchangeably for both sexes also.

    I'm more famliar with "upset" being used as a euphemism for someone being aggressive an angry (of either sex).


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    #5
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Probably because men in general tend not to shed individual tears in public. When we cry in public we go for the big watershow because we are mentally incapable of restraining ourselves, and therefore our protective barriers have "broken down".

    Women do get visibly upset more easily than men, and a few tears for a few minutes is not seen as any kind of loss of control for a woman.

    However if a woman cried uncontrollably in public, I too would say that she "broke down". There's a very clear difference between someone who's just upset and someone who's "broken down".

    Why men tend to only "break down" in public rather then cry would be part stereotype, part phenotype, part upbringing.


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    #6
    iptba
    Registered Users Posts: 4,876 ✭✭✭iptba


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Just one of those things that's been niggling at me for some time... How come when a guy gets emotionally upset, it is referred to as a guy, "breaking down", or "having a breakdown", with the implied suggestion that he has experienced a nervous breakdown of some sort or another, whereas when the exact same incident is experienced by a girl, the phrase, "she got upset" or "she started crying", is used???

    I recently heard of a guy I know getting upset over a death in the family, and almost automatically it was circulated around the place that he "broke down", and the cause apparently being that "a load of stuff he hasn't dealt with has finally caught up with him and he broke down"... I personally know this guy and know he just got upset at the loss of a close relative. The same death caused females to cry and there was none of the rumours getting circulated about other issues being the cause of emotional upset???
    I think it's natural to be upset at a funeral. It's not healthy if men are made feel they can't be upset in whatever form that takes. Funerals and the time around them can be pretty intense - between other people being upset at the same time and also consoling people.


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    #7
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Its a question of phrasing.

    A friend of mine got emotional giving a speach at his mum-in-laws funeral and we refered to it as him blubbing. As in "you blubbed" " ya i did a bit, saw my wife & the kids faces" & "she was sound". The emotion coveyed more than the speech and everyone knew she was loved.

    No probs there for me.

    Feelings - we all have them.


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