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Mediation

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  • 08-07-2015 10:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, has anyone any experience of mediation.? What should I expect etc? Any advice would be great


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    #2
    lollie3
    Registered Users Posts: 17 ✭lollie3


    Hi normally mediation will take between 2 - 4 sessions - You can go on a waiting list for free mediation but you will be left waiting - I paid for my mediation service we done 8 sessions and got nothing sorted so its going to court -

    Is your mediation for Divorce/separation ?


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi,

    Am in same position as OP, on waiting list for mediation separation/divorce.

    I'd appreciate any advice, or what to expect. I don't know anything beyond the information in the FMS leaflet.

    My situation. Male 47, 4 kids (3-11). Wife has left family home and moved in with 3rd party. Equal sharing of kids, but no communication beyond basic childcare. I'm trying to move things along, and hve put us on FMS waiting list.

    Any advice or information about what to expect would be appreciated very much.


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    #4
    Eeden
    Registered Users Posts: 17,912 ✭✭✭✭Eeden


    I found mediation to be very helpful, but wasn't able to countenance it for quite a few months after my initial separation. When feelings are raw, it can be difficult to try to calmly sort practical things out.

    However, it turned out to be very useful. That said, we were very willing and determined to try to be as amicable as possible and our main concern was to work things out in the best interests of our children, so it wasn't adversarial at all.

    It is also a very useful thing to have gone through down the line if the possibility of divorce arises.


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    #5
    pilph
    Registered Users Posts: 48 ✭pilph


    I had a negative experience of Mediation.

    My ex & I split while she was pregnant. When we got into mediation it was all about one thing - money. The only thing she wanted was to know she would receive X euro per month and how it would be paid. I asked questions like how often would I see our baby and I was told it would all be discussed in the next session, I just needed to agree to the money bit now as it was a pressing issue for me ex.

    I agreed and never heard from the mediation services again. I don't think that was their fault, I just think the whole thing was about one thing only money.

    To be honest, money was the last thing I was thinking of. All I wanted to know was how often I'd see my Son/Daughter. 20 months down the road, I cannot believe I didn't stand firm and ask for everything to be discussed first before agreeing as I've been denied seeing my Son now since the day he was born. And not being soppy, but that hurts more than anything.


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    #6
    iuil1999
    Registered Users Posts: 88 ✭✭iuil1999


    I'm going through mediation at the moment too. I find it a lengthy process, trying to get appointments etc, but I think it will work for us. My solicitor advised me that it was the best scenario but it doesn't work for everybody. They go through finances and parenting etc


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    #7
    Diamond Doll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,344 ✭✭✭Diamond Doll


    I'm looking for a mediator at the moment, anyone any recommendations (in Dublin)? ... I'm browsing the profiles on the MII site, so many specialise in separation, it's hard to know who to choose!

    Also can anyone give me a ballpark figure of the costs involved?

    Thanks!


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    #8
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    This little piggy wrote: »
    I'm looking for a mediator at the moment, anyone any recommendations (in Dublin)? ... I'm browsing the profiles on the MII site, so many specialise in separation, it's hard to know who to choose!

    Also can anyone give me a ballpark figure of the costs involved?

    Thanks!
    Same here.Is there any where showing reviews/recommendations as its pot luck picking someone from the lists online,Id prefer a recommendation from someone that has used the service.


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    #9
    Diamond Doll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,344 ✭✭✭Diamond Doll


    Colser wrote: »
    Same here.Is there any where showing reviews/recommendations as its pot luck picking someone from the lists online,Id prefer a recommendation from someone that has used the service.

    I'm currently waiting on a price from Josepha Madigan. By all accounts she's the best in Ireland, however I've a feeling she'll be pricey too! Will let you know when I find out. The mii website is good for qualifications etc, but no reviews.


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    #10
    paloaders
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭paloaders


    hi folks,

    I'm moving back to Australia with my 4 year old son. I've come up with a list of points that both myself and his father will adhere to. Do we need to go to mediation to get it signed or can we bring it to a solicitor once it's signed and get it witnessed?

    Thanks,
    PL.


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    #11
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    paloaders wrote: »
    hi folks,

    I'm moving back to Australia with my 4 year old son. I've come up with a list of points that both myself and his father will adhere to. Do we need to go to mediation to get it signed or can we bring it to a solicitor once it's signed and get it witnessed?

    Thanks,
    PL.

    If ye are both happy with everything without going to mediation then there is no need really for it.


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    #12
    BrokeDaddy
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭BrokeDaddy


    Potentially extremely useful, *IF* both parties sign up to it and co-operate. Didn't work for us (wife gave up, so now we're going the expensive route) or my other half (abusive ex who got violent/argumentative in sessions).

    Pilph - that's terrible and unacceptable. You need to get a court order for access. How can she expect assistance funding a child she won't allow to see his dad? I wouldn't pay another penny until she agrees access.

    Diamond Doll - it's a free service (but as others have said, a long waiting list). We saw Derek Fish in Dublin and he was excellent.

    I'd say closer to 10 sessions than 2-4 required, but I guess it depends on progress.


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    #13
    Cork Trucker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,553 ✭✭✭Cork Trucker


    I never got the option of mediation, just ended up getting a court summons in the letter box one day and the rest is history as they say, i have on the odd occasion mutually agreed stuff with the ex which the court ratified and made an order of same, but sure she still breached it. Personally i wouldn't bother with it and would go the court route unless things between you both are reasonable to the extend that you can trust the other still. I was keen/anxious to avoid the court route initially myself and wanted mediation, now the roles have reverse and there isn't a hope in hell i would do it.


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