Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Mortified!

Options
  • 03-11-2012 2:05am
    #1
    Hobbit101
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭


    Ok so last week I was getting Communion at Mass.For the craic,I thought why not collect the holy bread on my tongue.As I was retracting my tongue into my mouth again the bread got caught on my top lip and fell to the floor.
    Bright red at this stage I quickly bent down to pick it up.As I was bending down I had seemingly forgot about a fart that was brewing from the night before.It slipped out.

    The priests face was priceless.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Fascinating.


  • Options
    #3
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    JK Rowling, you have used up all your imagination, haven't you!

    Tut, tut, tut


  • Options
    #4
    flutterflye
    Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    That's a nice story.


  • Options
    #5
    Zyzz
    Registered Users Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭Zyzz


    tumblr_makr59K7yn1qlhrrqo1_1280.gif


  • Options
    #6
    cafecolour
    Registered Users Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    17 Hail Marys for the farting, 11 Our Fathers for dropping the holy wafer, and two recitations of the rosary for holding up communion with your antics. Get crackin!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users Posts: 7,882 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    oh i get the joke. you were at mass


  • Options
    #8
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    If the host falls on the floor the procedure is for the priest to pick it up and a lay a cloth on the spot where it fell. No Catholic priest would allow you to pick it up and consume it.


  • Options
    #9
    uch
    Registered Users Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭uch


    You need a couple of rashers on that bread, then you won't drop it!

    21/25



  • Options
    #10
    Hobbit101
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Hobbit101


    cafecolour wrote: »
    17 Hail Marys for the farting, 11 Our Fathers for dropping the holy wafer, and two recitations of the rosary for holding up communion with your antics. Get crackin!

    I would but I am actually an Atheist.


  • Options
    #11
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    If the host falls on the floor the procedure is for the priest to pick it up and a lay a cloth on the spot where it fell. No Catholic priest would allow you to pick it up and consume it.
    I never heard of that before!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Duiske
    Registered Users Posts: 3,087 ✭✭✭Duiske


    You bent over with a fcuking priest about ?


  • Options
    #13
    Senna
    Registered Users Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    If the host falls on the floor the procedure is for the priest to pick it up and a lay a cloth on the spot where it fell. No Catholic priest would allow you to pick it up and consume it.

    Yeah cause Paedophile is grand, but bread touching the floor is a big no no.


  • Options
    #14
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Hobbit101 wrote: »
    I would but I am actually an Atheist.
    So ... you're an atheist who goes to mass, receives communion and refers to it as the "holy bread".

    My brain is twisted trying to figure that one out.


  • Options
    #15
    Hobbit101
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Hobbit101


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    So ... you're an atheist who goes to mass, receives communion and refers to it as the "holy bread".

    My brain is twisted trying to figure that one out.

    I enjoy watching the sheep.


  • Options
    #16
    KKkitty
    Registered Users Posts: 7,534 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    Hobbit101 wrote: »

    I would but I am actually an Atheist.
    What were you doing in Mass then?


  • Options
    #17
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Hobbit101 wrote: »
    I enjoy watching the sheep.
    If you have a kink for sheep, find a remote pasture where you won't be frightening the children.


  • Options
    #18
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    KKkitty wrote: »
    What were you doing in Mass then?

    He just explained it, he was mounting sheep at mass during communion, whilst simultaneously bending over and trying to accommodate the priest.


  • Options
    #19
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Corvus Maximus wrote: »
    He just explained it, he was mounting sheep at mass during communion, whilst simultaneously bending over and trying to accommodate the priest.
    Took me a few minutes to visualise that, especially as he's a hobbit.:D


  • Options
    #20
    Furious_George
    Closed Accounts Posts: 215 ✭✭Furious_George


    Hobbit101 wrote: »
    I enjoy watching the sheep.

    Oh well, aren't you awful smart and don't let me forget cool.


  • Options
    #21
    KKkitty
    Registered Users Posts: 7,534 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    Corvus Maximus wrote: »

    He just explained it, he was mounting sheep at mass during communion, whilst simultaneously bending over and trying to accommodate the priest.
    OP is one baaad ass :D When the holy bread fell onto the floor the OP should have taken it as a sign that some higher power did not think him worthy of it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    Hobbit101
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭Hobbit101


    Furious_George wrote: »
    Oh well, aren't you awful smart and don't let me forget cool.

    Well I did get 114 in an online IQ test.
    Not bragging though.


  • Options
    #23
    Furious_George
    Closed Accounts Posts: 215 ✭✭Furious_George


    Hobbit101 wrote: »
    Well I did get 114 in an online IQ test.
    Not bragging though.

    Ya well i fart maths theorems and burp quantum physics but i still think you're full of it; referring to people who hold a different belief to you as sheep. One which, by the way, cannot be proved nor disproved even if you have an IQ of 200


  • Options
    #24
    El Weirdo
    Registered Users Posts: 11,646 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    Hobbit101 wrote: »
    Ok so last week I was getting Communion at Mass...
    Hobbit101 wrote: »
    ...I am actually an Atheist.
    Locked in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement