Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

too nervous to try

Options
  • 23-03-2015 7:55pm
    #1
    Glider
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    Hi all, just looking to see if there is anyone in the same boat.

    I often dress up as a girl at home and love the feeling of it. I got talking to a guy online a few (maybe 3) years (yes years ago) he really likes the whole cross dresser thing and we text a lot. He has been with others but said he isnt willing to get an STI test as this is what my big fear is. I do like him and we get on well. Im 29 and he is over 65 bit on an age gap.

    Has anyone else been stopped by the fear of STIs and what did you do? I really want to have an experience as a cross dresser, preferably with him, but Im overly nervous about STIs. Is it rude to ask someone to take a test?

    any thoughts/advice apprecated.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    It's your health at the end of the day and I'd be the rudest **** known to man to protect myself. There's little point in trying to enjoy this experience and afterwards nervous to the point of a panic attack on your status then.


  • Options
    #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    There are lots on threads on here from people who go out, have sex and then are in a panic because they might have an STI. Don't be one of those people. If after 3 years of communication, he won't take that one step for you, then find some one who will.


  • Options
    #4
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    Begs the question why he won't get one done. It is not worth your health and worries.


  • Options
    #5
    Glider
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭Glider


    thanks all! good advice


  • Options
    #6
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    I wouldn't let the fear of STD's hold you back from having sex generally. But it is something you should always be aware of, and the safest approach is to treat every sexual partner as if they have one unless and until you can know otherwise with a reasonable degree of certainty (which generally requires testing, monogamy and trust).

    That means taking precautions, including condoms, asking about their sexuality health and getting tested regularly yourself.

    I would be cautious of somebody who hasn't tested regularly out of indifference, but I would absolutely refuse to engage in sexual activigy with somebody who refused to be tested.

    At best, it shows a complete lack of regard for his sexual health and irresponsible behaviour - and if he isn't interested in his own health then he is unlikely to be concerned with yours. Same goes for guys who want to engage in unprotected sex outside of a stable relationship.

    At worst, he has something to hide which a test will disclose.


    For the record though, you shouldn't take guys at their word if they say they test positive - still use protection. Even if they are being honest with you, it's possible that they may have contracted something after testing, or tested within the window period for certain diseases which can take time to show up in tests.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    nozipcode
    Registered Users Posts: 137 ✭✭nozipcode


    Is it all good advice? I'm not so sure.

    I don't know how I would react if someone would only meet me if they produced some clean bill of health before they even kissed me. Way to make a guy feel special!

    If you're that worried that he might be carrying an STI or other disease then maybe you should just stay away from this person and find someone who doesn't give you the impression they are carrying an STI.

    If you'd feel the same about any/every guy, then it's you that has the problem and need to get over it. Yes, there are risks when having sex, as adults do, but they can be minimised if you take some simple precautions.


  • Options
    #8
    nozipcode
    Registered Users Posts: 137 ✭✭nozipcode


    floggg wrote: »

    For the record though, you shouldn't take guys at their word if they say they test positive - still use protection. Even if they are being honest with you, it's possible that they may have contracted something after testing, or tested within the window period for certain diseases which can take time to show up in tests.

    Exactly. By all means, ask the person their status, but you'll find the ones who tell the truth about their status are usually the ones that look after themselves, have undetectable viral loads etc. And as you say, people can contract infections in between tests and there are incubation window periods to take into account. So again, protect yourself and educate yourself. It's the best you can do.


  • Options
    #9
    Glider
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭Glider


    thanks all


  • Options
    #10
    Kevin McCloud
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭Kevin McCloud


    Protect your shaft at all times


Advertisement