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25 dating an 18 year old

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  • 16-10-2014 10:55pm
    #1
    Healthis
    Registered Users Posts: 59 ✭✭


    As the title suggests. It just happened. I would never have thought I'd be in this situation. The problem is I'm starting to really like him. He seems to like me a lot too but I just think I'm mad getting with someone so young. I can already see that he lacks certain maturity in areas. Should I end this now before it gets messy?


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    #2
    BonnieSituation
    Registered Users Posts: 18,923 ✭✭✭✭BonnieSituation


    Healthis wrote: »
    As the title suggests. It just happened. I would never have thought I'd be in this situation. The problem is I'm starting to really like him. He seems to like me a lot too but I just think I'm mad getting with someone so young. I can already see that he lacks certain maturity in areas. Should I end this now before it gets messy?

    I'm 30 and dated a 20yo over the summer and conversely am with a 24yo now.

    I was in a long term relationship with someone 6 years older than me.

    The thing is... There's no right and wrong.

    See how you go and if you still feel it's not right in a month or so I would end it.


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    #3
    Conas
    Registered Users Posts: 1,071 ✭✭✭Conas


    So long as they are 18 and over there's nothing wrong with it. Normally it's the other way around though. A 25 year old guy might date an 18 year old girl.

    Women seem to be a lot more fuzzy about dating guys younger than them.


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    #4
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,880 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Healthis wrote: »
    As the title suggests. It just happened. I would never have thought I'd be in this situation. The problem is I'm starting to really like him. He seems to like me a lot too but I just think I'm mad getting with someone so young. I can already see that he lacks certain maturity in areas. Should I end this now before it gets messy?

    I dont see the problem tbh. Plenty of 17 year olds are mature. Plenty of 45 year olds are immature.

    My advice would be
    A) Dont box him (don't assume his age automatocally means he is immature)
    B) Take your time with things - don't rush into dumping him just yet
    C) Don't let fears take over and assume the worst. You're better off trying to see if something does work out before assuming it definitely won't

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #5
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,606 ✭✭✭Rick_


    I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who just turned 19 at the start of the month. I turn 30 at the end of the month.

    We couldn't be happier together. Age is but a number. If you are of legal age and like each other then go for it. Any problems people have with your relationship are just that, their problem. :)


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    #6
    Mr.Frame
    Registered Users Posts: 766 ✭✭✭Mr.Frame


    Healthis wrote: »
    As the title suggests. It just happened. I would never have thought I'd be in this situation. The problem is I'm starting to really like him. He seems to like me a lot too but I just think I'm mad getting with someone so young. I can already see that he lacks certain maturity in areas. Should I end this now before it gets messy?

    If you both really like each other then,enjoy it.

    Stop over analysing the situation.

    We ALL lack a certain maturity at times,you're 25 he's 18 so what.

    Have fun,have great sex,have a laugh together,enjoy each others company,do silly things together,ect ect.

    Life's too short .


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    #7
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    They say age is just a number... However I'm sure many would turn their nose at my relationship or assume I'm 'in it for something' due to the age gap (it's larger than any aforementioned here) Unfortunately i have to be private about mine for this reason most of the time.

    As long as the difference in life experience isn't a barrier and you are content, there really is no problem here. 10 years isn't a huge gap. 7 is nothing.


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    #8
    Chunners
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 424 ✭✭Chunners


    lol I'm 41, my other half is 33, we are both transsexual, she recently (after 6 years of us being engaged) had to tell her dad that I am TS because he is getting married to another woman other than my other halves mother and my other half (who is a transsexual too) is suppose to be the best man so we ran out of excuses of why I couldn't go to the wedding (that by the way is on New Years eve) so she has to go and wear the monkey suit for the day and pretend to be a dutiful son and because of her dads **** timing for his wedding I won't see her for New Years Eve and she, after the last 5 years of living as female, has to fake a male persona just to make her dad happy. Now given how **** it could be for you do you really think a a 7 year gap is an issue?


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    #9
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    OP - look up Dan savages campfire rule.

    Basically, if you're going to date younger, make sure you leave him in the same or better condition than when you found him (assuming it ever comes to an end).

    Don't take advantage of his immaturity, don't lead him on etc etc. As long as you obey that, you're fine to date him.


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    #10
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    floggg wrote: »
    OP - look up Dan savages campfire rule.

    Basically, if you're going to date younger, make sure you leave him in the same or better condition than when you found him (assuming it ever comes to an end).

    Don't take advantage of his immaturity, don't lead him on etc etc. As long as you obey that, you're fine to date him.

    That's sound advice. I once dated a guy a bit older than me, and one way to describe him was mind **ck. For someone a bit older, he didn't know what he wanted from a relationship or life, and even though I may have been a bit immature (who doesn't want that? :D), he clearly was in no fit way to date anyone, much less someone younger who still had a lot to learn in life.


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    #11
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Ash885 wrote: »
    That's sound advice. I once dated a guy a bit older than me, and one way to describe him was mind **ck. For someone a bit older, he didn't know what he wanted from a relationship or life, and even though I may have been a bit immature (who doesn't want that? :D), he clearly was in no fit way to date anyone, much less someone younger who still had a lot to learn in life.

    Actually the part of the rule I left out was not to dump the younger guy with your emotional baggage etc. Clearly he wasn't a very good camper.


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    #12
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    Personally I don't think it would suit me but each to their own. My paternal Grandparents have an age difference of 13 years and I have never known a couple more in love and better together.


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    #13
    door
    Registered Users Posts: 201 ✭✭door


    Conas wrote: »
    So long as they are 18 and over there's nothing wrong with it. Normally it's the other way around though. A 25 year old guy might date an 18 year old girl.

    Women seem to be a lot more fuzzy about dating guys younger than them.

    Normally it's the other way around? I think a 25 year old guy dating an 18 year old guy is pretty much the same as an 18 year old guy dating a 25 year old guy. Unless I'm missing something? Dating usually means there has been consent.


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