first penetrative sex...

Dickie10 · 24-09-2014 8:21pm #1

hi im a bi guy who just last week went to a gay sauna, this was my third time in the sauna. the previous two times I gave and received oral sex with a condom. any way I had sex with a guy the last visit. I f**ed him with a condom of course, I was a little worried as to sexual safety but he said he was clean any way I pulled out just as I came , just to be sure. I really enjoyed this first sexual intercourse with a guy and would love to try again. it was my first time to actually cum from penetrative sex as opposed to masturbation. is there any or much risk from what I did??:( I have loads of questions this is my most pressing concern thank you in advance!

BuffyBot · 24-09-2014 8:33pm

If you wore protection, and it stayed intact you most likely have very little to worry about (pulling out to cum would have very little effect from your POV, safety wise)

Dickie10 · 24-09-2014 8:42pm

POV?

Annasopra · 24-09-2014 8:43pm

Point of view

spurious · 25-09-2014 9:37pm

Lots of people will 'say they were clean' - be careful.

Rory28 · 26-09-2014 4:44pm

You should just get into the habbit of going to the clinic regularly. Its not as bad as people say.

Ash885 · 26-09-2014 9:04pm

Rory28 wrote: »

You should just get into the habbit of going to the clinic regularly. Its not as bad as people say.

Literally bring a book, have the craic with the nurses, it's grand. Nothing really to worry about.

Locker10a · 01-10-2014 6:41pm

Ash885 wrote: »

Literally bring a book, have the craic with the nurses, it's grand. Nothing really to worry about.

But surely by the time you get to the clinic its to late!! Simply just use protection and you wont have to worry! Its that simple!

Ash885 · 01-10-2014 7:38pm

Locker10a wrote: »

But surely by the time you get to the clinic its to late!! Simply just use protection and you wont have to worry! Its that simple!

I never once suggested unprotective sex. I suppose it's everyone's choice, but for me it's silly to play with chance like that.

It was in reply to someone saying to get checked regularly, which I do agree with. And saying for those of us who are 100% committed to safety, to still get checked out of habit ^^

Locker10a · 01-10-2014 8:10pm

Ash885 wrote: »

I never once suggested unprotective sex. I suppose it's everyone's choice, but for me it's silly to play with chance like that.

It was in reply to someone saying to get checked regularly, which I do agree with. And saying for those of us who are 100% committed to safety, to still get checked out of habit ^^

No im not suggesting you did!! I just thought in my own opinion that your comment about getting STI tests was a little casual thats all! Yes i agree people who sleep around should get them! Of course but prevention rather than correction should surely be the best option! Im sure you didn't mean it in such a way, in fact it know you didn't but it just sounded like "oh sure shag who you want a just pop and get tested whenever " as if it was to become part of a weekly routine after doing the shopping!! :P I just think rather than do this people should be a little more cautious about their sexual adventures thats all! Dont shoot me down please

Ash885 · 01-10-2014 8:16pm

I'm not shooting you down but you've got the complete wrong end of my post. Read it in context to the post just previous to it please

It's hard enough for people to go willingly to go get tested without making it sound so daunting; because it's not. Knowledge is power after all and it should offer huge relief to many. I'm not making it like sugar coated rainbows, but equally not impossible to go on your own. Going to get tested is no excuse for unprotected sex but the first time for everyone is always a mountain. Making it more scary is only going to persuade people to avoid tests.

And incidently just to point out from your posts, using protection does not protect you from all STI's and still isn't an excuse not to get tested if you're sexually active. Things can happen which both parties might be unaware of. Better to promote active screening.

floggg · 02-10-2014 4:05pm

Locker10a wrote: »

No im not suggesting you did!! I just thought in my own opinion that your comment about getting STI tests was a little casual thats all! Yes i agree people who sleep around should get them! Of course but prevention rather than correction should surely be the best option! Im sure you didn't mean it in such a way, in fact it know you didn't but it just sounded like "oh sure shag who you want a just pop and get tested whenever " as if it was to become part of a weekly routine after doing the shopping!! :P I just think rather than do this people should be a little more cautious about their sexual adventures thats all! Dont shoot me down please

?

anybody except the celibate and those in committed long term relationships (and even they could do with a just to be sure trip) should get tested regularly.

To be honest, your idea of being cautious instead of getting tested is rather naive (if meant as an alternative). No matter how cautious you are, you can't eliminate risk and they only way to know anybody status is through testing.

You should be doing both - exercising caution and gettong tested. One does not preclude the need for the other.

Locker10a · 03-10-2014 10:32pm

floggg wrote: »

?

anybody except the celibate and those in committed long term relationships (and even they could do with a just to be sure trip) should get tested regularly.

To be honest, your idea of being cautious instead of getting tested is rather naive (if meant as an alternative). No matter how cautious you are, you can't eliminate risk and they only way to know anybody status is through testing.

You should be doing both - exercising caution and gettong tested. One does not preclude the need for the other.

I think you are jumping to conclusions about what I said and maybe need to re read what you quoted me as saying. God why do people always jump down your throat on this forum? Now i remember why i stopped posting here!
My point is#1 be sensible, #2 use protection and #3 get tested, in that order! I dont mean one to replace another i mean this is the order you should do things, and #3 may not be necessarily needed on a regular basis if you adhere to #1 ! Im not disagreeing with the argument to get tested just making the point the frequency and necessity of STI tests will depend on how responsibly you behave when it comes to sex! I know some people who seem to think doing #3 will cancel out skipping points #1 and #2! It doesn't work like that!! There should be a priority order like i have spelled out!some people are not responsible enough to realise this!

J_E · 05-10-2014 1:07am

Locker10a wrote: »

No im not suggesting you did!! I just thought in my own opinion that your comment about getting STI tests was a little casual thats all! Yes i agree people who sleep around should get them! Of course but prevention rather than correction should surely be the best option! Im sure you didn't mean it in such a way, in fact it know you didn't but it just sounded like "oh sure shag who you want a just pop and get tested whenever " as if it was to become part of a weekly routine after doing the shopping!! :P I just think rather than do this people should be a little more cautious about their sexual adventures thats all! Dont shoot me down please

Not getting a good vibe from this post. STI clinics aren't only for people who happily shag around. There's nothing wrong with being sexually adventurous when there are a couple of ground rules set and you are aware of safe practice, and there's definitely no big deal with getting checked out of habit. Telling people they should just have less sex instead of going to clinic isn't really helping anyone and it's veering a bit close to scaremongering if I'll be honest. Complacency is probably the biggest mistake we all make when it comes to sex.

floggg · 05-10-2014 1:27pm

Locker10a wrote: »

I think you are jumping to conclusions about what I said and maybe need to re read what you quoted me as saying. God why do people always jump down your throat on this forum? Now i remember why i stopped posting here!
My point is#1 be sensible, #2 use protection and #3 get tested, in that order! I dont mean one to replace another i mean this is the order you should do things, and #3 may not be necessarily needed on a regular basis if you adhere to #1 ! Im not disagreeing with the argument to get tested just making the point the frequency and necessity of STI tests will depend on how responsibly you behave when it comes to sex! I know some people who seem to think doing #3 will cancel out skipping points #1 and #2! It doesn't work like that!! There should be a priority order like i have spelled out!some people are not responsible enough to realise this!

I read it quite thoroughly.

It'd your language which suggests you see them as alternative approaches - you referred to "responsible" sex as the best option.

The use of the word option suggests they are alternatives - you can choose one or the other approach.

They aren't. They are both essential parts of a responsible attitude to sex

I also sensed a pretty judgmental give from your posts, so I won't get too self righteous about people criticising others. The comments about sleeping around in particular.

Firstly, it's possible to have active sex life life while remaining responsible. And there is nothing wrong in doing so, nor are less active sex lives in any way more righteous or praiseworthy.

But it's naive to say if you don't sleep around you don't need to get tested as often. Every six months should still be the target, even if you only have sex once within that period.

It only takes once. And even if you use condoms correctly and without malfunction there are still many STDs that can be transmitted from oral sex, or just physical contact with genital regions.

No sex is safe.

So, regardless of frequency or protection used, the 6 month rule should be a general rule of thumb or target.

Locker10a · 06-10-2014 7:18pm

floggg wrote: »

I read it quite thoroughly.

It'd your language which suggests you see them as alternative approaches - you referred to "responsible" sex as the best option.

The use of the word option suggests they are alternatives - you can choose one or the other approach.

They aren't. They are both essential parts of a responsible attitude to sex

I also sensed a pretty judgmental give from your posts, so I won't get too self righteous about people criticising others. The comments about sleeping around in particular.

Firstly, it's possible to have active sex life life while remaining responsible. And there is nothing wrong in doing so, nor are less active sex lives in any way more righteous or praiseworthy.

But it's naive to say if you don't sleep around you don't need to get tested as often. Every six months should still be the target, even if you only have sex once within that period.

It only takes once. And even if you use condoms correctly and without malfunction there are still many STDs that can be transmitted from oral sex, or just physical contact with genital regions.

No sex is safe.

So, regardless of frequency or protection used, the 6 month rule should be a general rule of thumb or target.

Ok i think this will unfortunately be my last post in the LGBT fourm, I am sorry if i sounded judgmental, If you knew me in person you would know i am not. and my intention was never to judge I was just adding my 2 cents to the discussion, perhaps I phrased it in a bad way, but i just came here to discuss, It appears though there is cynical attitude to discussion on this forum and in fact a slightly fascist one. Opinions are not welcome it seems so i will reserve my time on boards to other forums and other sites where discussion and varying ideas and opinions are welcome after all that is the idea of a discussion forum!

Locker10a · 06-10-2014 7:26pm

J_E wrote: »

Not getting a good vibe from this post.

I really dont know why?!!!
But I'm sorry I don't fit in with the only type of opinion people are allowed to have here, i was under the impression we were allowed to discuss things here and give our advice to the OP, but i was clearly wrong, my mistake and apologies

floggg · 07-10-2014 9:55am

Locker10a wrote: »

I really dont know why?!!!
But I'm sorry I don't fit in with the only type of opinion people are allowed to have here, i was under the impression we were allowed to discuss things here and give our advice to the OP, but i was clearly wrong, my mistake and apologies

Calm down. Your allowed post what you want, and just because your views are challenged it doesn't mean you aren't welcome or that you are being attacked.

Its a discussion forum and by its nature there will be disagreement. It would be pretty boring otherwise. Yes, we are all allowed give our opinion, but that also means you can challenge or disagree with others opinions.

As you said yourself, maybe you expressed yourself poorly. And from what I gather from your subsequent posts, you did - particularly if you agree that testing and safer sex should be practiced in conjunction with one another.

Instead of going, "sorry I expressed myself poorly" and we all moved on, you got defensive and accused others of not reading your post and being some form of facist. And got upset when we didn't all agree with what you accept was poorly phrased advice. And potentially dangerous advice at that given the way it was phrased.

I'd rather upset you then have people think they didn't need to get tested regularly just because they use condoms etc. That may not be what you meant but it's how your comments read.

And the judgmental vibe came from your comments about sleeping around. Again, maybe you phrased it poorly, but there seemed to be some inherent judgment of anybody who regularly engaged in consensual sex outside of a committed relationship - particularly when coupled with what was either bad or badly worded advice on sexual health and testing.

fudy · 09-10-2014 10:13pm

just be care alot say they are clean

Horselord · 10-10-2014 11:49am

Where are these saunas ?

L1011 · 10-10-2014 11:28pm

Horselord wrote: »

Where are these saunas ?

Dublin. There were Cork and Limerick ones but they appear to have closed down.

Annasopra · 12-10-2014 7:53am

Locker10a I think its unfair to suggest this forum is fascistic and does not allow differing opinions. There are often strong differing opinions here.

first penetrative sex...

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