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ENGLISH COMPARATIVE - Please help.
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04-03-2011 11:50pm#1K, so. I've been having a lot of trouble with my english teacher recently. Always been one of my strongest subjects. I'm a keen reader, enjoy writing & the lc course. Typical 'english'-head, in some ways.
Yeah, I amn't gonna go into the falling out with the teacher, I just want to know if the marks they're giving me are fair & reasonable.
2008 Comparative. Theme Question. (a) 30marks:
Love. Love is a dictionary definable as a "strong positive emotion of regard & affection". For the purposes of this comparative study, I believe that it is a key theme in the play 'Sive' (S) as written by Mr. John B. Keane, from which a variety of viewpoints certainly emerge.
An outlook on love that stems from the play (S) can be examined by looking at the case of love within the marriage, or, marital love. The vision of this type of love which comes forward in the play is very mixed. In the marriage of Mike & Mena Glavin for instance, there are strong negative elements in the love shared between them, with Mena harshly & forwardly insulting her husband, referring to him as a "man of straw". An insult to which he is highly offended. Mike, too, we are told through the narrative often speaks to his wife in a "deadly" & "angry" tone of voice. These aspects are somewhat counteracted by the rare, but positive glimpses of the love between Mike & Mena. Mike defends his wife from his mother's vicious insults and nasty comments, all the while indicating his respect & fondness for the marriage they share. Silencing his mother by telling her that she never had "a good word for her [Mena]" & defending Mena by proclaiming that she is his "wife & always will be that". Similarly Mena defends Mike, and her marriage from the malicious comments of Thomasheen Sean Rua, the matchmaker. Defending their love from his cruel & demeaning retorts by uniting with her husband to belittle the words of the matchmaker. It is this combination of both positive & negative aspects that shape a very mixed perspective of love. I think that this viewpoint is very realistic, completely realistic, even. This love is not perfect and idyllic. It is frought with conflict and bitterness but there is no pretence within it. It is real. Flawed, but real. From which a very genuine and honest perspective is formed. However, the attitude to this type of love in (S) is worsened unconditionally by 'matchmaking', the idea that love can be arranged, bought, sold and bartered to suit the needs of selfish & kniving individuals.
An additional way of thinking that becomes apparent through the treatment of love in the play stems from the treatment of the parent-child relationship, and the love, or lack of love, within it. The primary relationship of this kind in (S) is not technically parent-child love, but guardian child love, as both of Sive's biological parents are dead. Her father figure is though in the play, her uncle, Mike. It is clear that in the past Mike loved Sive dearly, treating her as the daughter he never had. Nanna claiming that he was "better than a father to her", and took her with him "everywhere". It is also externally clear that Mike had fought for Sive in the past, going to great lengths to ensure she had an education, which must have been a challenge considering his wife agreed witht eh statement that Sive's education was a "mortal sin". However, the Mike we seein the play is much changed from the the past mike we are told of, he is convinced reasonably easily to marry off the only child figure he has ever had, in exchange for "£200", with even Nanna questioning "where is the love [he] used to have for Sive". Here the standpoint on love on love is that is is cheap, and can be bought to serve the will of others, in, as Liam Scuab puts it, some sort of "terrible auction". A negative, ugly, and grotesque sentiment.
A final stance on the theme of love which surfaces from the play (S) is taken from the idea of self-sacrificial love. A concept which is at its core noble & hounourable. It is to be seen in (S) in Liam Scuab and his offering to "leave these parts", and resultingly, leave the love of his life, Sive, in the vain hope that it will spare her of the fate of her having to marry Seán Dóta. While this sentiment is, I think, idealistic and heartwarming, Scuab's efforts are ultimately futile, Sive enduring the eternality of death, as opposed to, in her opinion, worse fate of having to wed Seam Dota. This viewpoint is inherently negative, as it suggests that no matter how pure and good in intention love may be, that it may still be of no positive effect, & bring about no happiness.
In conclusion, the vision of love ehich is predominant in (S) is undoubtedly similar to my very first dictionary definition, but with one exception. Love is defined as a 'positive' emotion, one would think that this is certainly true, the idea of love being positive is central to the idea of love. This, is, as it transpires in (S), dubious, at the very best.
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Gawd. That took 20minutes to type.
that gives y'all some idea.
any help at all would be so appreciated, I mean, this took hours.
only worthy of a C?
Please please take the time to lend a hand, I'm sure y'all must've been in a similar situatuion with a teacher at somestage?
thanks.Tagged:1
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I would ask, as BR did, is this your entire essay? A comparative essay is just that, a comparison. That's your bread and butter here. To get down to the nitty-gritty of giving you our impression of a grade, you need it to be an integrated essay. What other texts are you doing (three are easier to write an essay on in the LC than two by the way)? I'd be up for chatting about your piece if you give some feedback.
On a side note, one of the most important things I learned along the way through secondary school is to separate your subject from your teacher. Mrs Whats-Her-Name isn't going to be there in the three hour exam in June. If your teacher is petulant/demeaning/cruel/unfair/whathaveyou then screw her. This is your and it's your exam. If she's marking you based on her personal opinion of you then she's a crap marker and as such, you should ignore her corrections and seek other resources. In short: don't let it affect you.0 -
Ok, thank y'all very much for the help so far, and yes, for clarity, that is only the first part of a 2part comparative question.
(a) of an (a & b)
30 out of the 70marks, y'all know yourselves.
task was to describe the viewpoint on a theme that emerges from 1 of your studied texts,
part (b) same task in relation to comparing the other 2 texts
Part (b) I meant to write last night, forgot, I was tired, lawl.
Here it is:
In this, the second section of my answer, I will be discussing the viewpoint on the theme of love which emerges from the texts "How Many Miles to Babylon?", written by Jennifer Johnston and the film 'Casablanca' as directed by Mr. Michael Curtiz.
An outlook on love, shared by these two texts stems from the exploration of love of place, love for a cause or patriotism, within them. In both texts we see strong examples of individuals showing great love for their countries. During 'Casablanca' we are presented with a scene in Rick's Café in which we see a French refugee crying tears of passion at the playing of the national anthem, "La Marseillaise". Similarly in 'HMMTB?' we see another relatively minor character expressing passionate patriotic sentiment, Bennet, a young officer is adamant that he will either "become a hero or die". However, while these examples suggest great individual acts of love of place, the overall outlooks within the texts are very different. In 'Casablanca' the soldiers (members of the 'resistance') such as Victor Lazslo, and later on in the film Rick, are fiercely passionate in their love for the causes for which they fight, whereas Alec & jerry in 'HMMTB?' are, at the very best, indifferent to theirs. Alec speaks of his disdain for the war by proclaiming it to be "games" and amounting to little more than "some sort of fancy dress". Alec's father suggesting that patriotism is only for "damn bloody fools". Sharply contrasting to the valiant patriotic efforts of Victor in 'Casablanca'. Indeed, Jerry Crowe, in 'HMMTB?' positively despises the cause for which he fights. He cites his motive for going to war as "The King's Shilling" & learning how to "fix the British". Overall, the perspective of this type of love in the texts is sharply contrasting. On one hand we have passionate heroes, yet on the other we have indifferent soldiers. My lasting impression of this type of love is that it cannot be forced, or bought, or otherwise. Passion cannot be purchased. Love of place is something instilled within us. Something that has been grown & nurtured since our birth.
An aspect of love within the texts from which emerges a different standpoint is that of established marital love. And this standpoint is formed by two examples which could not be more different. The primary example of marital love which we see in 'HMMTB?' is horrific. The marriage of Alicia & Frederick amounts to a "terrible little game" in which their only meeting place was "the child", a child, Alec, who was left deeply scarred by the disfunctionality of their warped love & relationship. By total contrast in 'Casablanca' we are given a glowing view of a young newly-wed couple who are determined to escape the deluge of Casablanca and make a better life for each other. We are informed of the lengths & means that they will go to to ensure each other's happiness. The young wife is torn with the contemplation of betraying her husband and sleeping with a perverted man, Captain Renault, who is years older than her, in order to secure exit visas. However, in both texts we are given examples of another marriage, which are less focused on in each case. We are given a mixed insight into the marriage of the parents of Jerry Crowe. Jerry claims that his father was "quick with the fist", indicating the presence of violence within the household & marriage. But contrastingly we are told that, ina letter from Jerry's "loving Mam" that she finds it "hard to cope", in the absence of the men of the household. Minorly insinuating that she misses them. Overall, certainly not an overly positive & idealistic vision of marriage. Similarly in 'Casablanca' a marriage which is portrayed more in passing, and to a lesser extent is the marriage of Victor & Ilsa. This marriage too leads to qa slightly negative viewpoint. Ilsa is married to Victor and resultingly cannot be with Rick. Although religion is not shown within the film, the society of the time was staunchly conservative. Marriage was binding. Again, the overall viewpoint of love portrayed within the marriage is neither positive nor negative. We see sharply contrasting examples of perfect romantic love, and warped love in a marriage of hatred.
Another means through which a perspective on love can comeforth is taken from the idea of love within friendship. In both texts this is seen as being a very positive type of love. In 'HMMTB?' Alec himself was overjoyed at havin "a private, secret friend", in Jerry Crowe. Within this love both parties benefit and learn from each other. From matters of the "tragic history of the Gael" to sharing experiences of drinking alcohol, important & sentimental instances in the lives of men. Whereas a primary loving friendship in 'Casablanca' is to be seen in the business relationship, bordering on a personal friendship, between Rick & Captain Renault, which, by the end of the play, has blossomed into the beginnings of a "beautiful friendship", in which elements of love are understood, if not overtly conveyed. Captain Renault saves Rick from a terrible fate, having shot a German-Nazi Major, and instead of having his authorities apprehend Rick, Captain Renault instead instructs his men to "round up the usual suspects". An action in which love for a friend is certainly present. The viewpoint which emerges of this love is, I feel, very positive. Love in friendship is seen as being both pure & powerful in each text, an outlook which is heartwarmingly, very optimistic.
A fianl way in which a manner of thinking can be taken on the theme of love within the texts results from the sentiment that is illicit and forbidden love. By nature, love that has to be hidden evokes negative views, as of course, the love is having to be hidden. In 'HMMTB?' Alec's loving friendship with Jerry had to be maintained hidden throughout the entirity of its existance, Jerry being Alec's "secret" friend. Similarly in 'Casablanca', Ilsa's love affair and love for Rick had to be kept secret out of respect for Ilsa's husband, Victor Laszlo and his feelings. It is important to note that in both these texts love is forbidden by differeing sources. In 'HMMTB?'by class differences & segregation, which continues from the hills of Wicklow to the trenches of Flanders. This love is not allowed by society, whereas in 'Casablanca' Ilsa's love for Rick is forbidden out of her marriage to Victor, one individual. The viewpoint that I feel evolves from this type of love is mixed to positive. On one hand this love is sad & negative, as it is hidden, but this is counterbalanced by the fact that in spite of these obstacles that love can thrive. Certainly adding a positive echo to the vision.
In conclusion, the outlook on love which surfaces from its study within both texts is very mixed. Love can be positive, love can be negative. Love can be complex & intriguing, but it is never, ever straightforward.
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Another 25mins. So anyway, here is the part, when combined with part a gives the answer put forward for 70 marks.
My part a was given 20/30
part b 22/40 : a 'D', I mean. seriously. Is this right? is above only worth 22/40 marks for a D? 0 -
Yeah this sounds a lot like my Irish teacher to be honest. She gave us an essay/test one day "On the problems facing young people in Ireland today" Anyway she gave me an F and I was shocked and completely appauled! I learnt a sample essay word from word on the same title when she gave us the test the second time, was sure I had to get an A1 got it back D2 this time! After that I went to another Irish teacher who now corrects all my stuff. (P.S the essay I got an F for was given a B2 from the 2nd corrector).IfUSeekAmy wrote: »Ok, thank y'all very much for the help so far, and yes, for clarity, that is only the first part of a 2part comparative question.
(a) of an (a & b)
30 out of the 70marks, y'all know yourselves.
task was to describe the viewpoint on a theme that emerges from 1 of your studied texts,
part (b) same task in relation to comparing the other 2 texts
Part (b) I meant to write last night, forgot, I was tired, lawl.
Here it is:
In this, the second section of my answer, I will be discussing the viewpoint on the theme of love which emerges from the texts "How Many Miles to Babylon?", written by Jennifer Johnston and the film 'Casablanca' as directed by Mr. Michael Curtiz.
An outlook on love, shared by these two texts stems from the exploration of love of place, love for a cause or patriotism, within them. In both texts we see strong examples of individuals showing great love for their countries. During 'Casablanca' we are presented with a scene in Rick's Café in which we see a French refugee crying tears of passion at the playing of the national anthem, "La Marseillaise". Similarly in 'HMMTB?' we see another relatively minor character expressing passionate patriotic sentiment, Bennet, a young officer is adamant that he will either "become a hero or die". However, while these examples suggest great individual acts of love of place, the overall outlooks within the texts are very different. In 'Casablanca' the soldiers (members of the 'resistance') such as Victor Lazslo, and later on in the film Rick, are fiercely passionate in their love for the causes for which they fight, whereas Alec & jerry in 'HMMTB?' are, at the very best, indifferent to theirs. Alec speaks of his disdain for the war by proclaiming it to be "games" and amounting to little more than "some sort of fancy dress". Alec's father suggesting that patriotism is only for "damn bloody fools". Sharply contrasting to the valiant patriotic efforts of Victor in 'Casablanca'. Indeed, Jerry Crowe, in 'HMMTB?' positively despises the cause for which he fights. He cites his motive for going to war as "The King's Shilling" & learning how to "fix the British". Overall, the perspective of this type of love in the texts is sharply contrasting. On one hand we have passionate heroes, yet on the other we have indifferent soldiers. My lasting impression of this type of love is that it cannot be forced, or bought, or otherwise. Passion cannot be purchased. Love of place is something instilled within us. Something that has been grown & nurtured since our birth.
An aspect of love within the texts from which emerges a different standpoint is that of established marital love. And this standpoint is formed by two examples which could not be more different. The primary example of marital love which we see in 'HMMTB?' is horrific. The marriage of Alicia & Frederick amounts to a "terrible little game" in which their only meeting place was "the child", a child, Alec, who was left deeply scarred by the disfunctionality of their warped love & relationship. By total contrast in 'Casablanca' we are given a glowing view of a young newly-wed couple who are determined to escape the deluge of Casablanca and make a better life for each other. We are informed of the lengths & means that they will go to to ensure each other's happiness. The young wife is torn with the contemplation of betraying her husband and sleeping with a perverted man, Captain Renault, who is years older than her, in order to secure exit visas. However, in both texts we are given examples of another marriage, which are less focused on in each case. We are given a mixed insight into the marriage of the parents of Jerry Crowe. Jerry claims that his father was "quick with the fist", indicating the presence of violence within the household & marriage. But contrastingly we are told that, ina letter from Jerry's "loving Mam" that she finds it "hard to cope", in the absence of the men of the household. Minorly insinuating that she misses them. Overall, certainly not an overly positive & idealistic vision of marriage. Similarly in 'Casablanca' a marriage which is portrayed more in passing, and to a lesser extent is the marriage of Victor & Ilsa. This marriage too leads to qa slightly negative viewpoint. Ilsa is married to Victor and resultingly cannot be with Rick. Although religion is not shown within the film, the society of the time was staunchly conservative. Marriage was binding. Again, the overall viewpoint of love portrayed within the marriage is neither positive nor negative. We see sharply contrasting examples of perfect romantic love, and warped love in a marriage of hatred.
Another means through which a perspective on love can comeforth is taken from the idea of love within friendship. In both texts this is seen as being a very positive type of love. In 'HMMTB?' Alec himself was overjoyed at havin "a private, secret friend", in Jerry Crowe. Within this love both parties benefit and learn from each other. From matters of the "tragic history of the Gael" to sharing experiences of drinking alcohol, important & sentimental instances in the lives of men. Whereas a primary loving friendship in 'Casablanca' is to be seen in the business relationship, bordering on a personal friendship, between Rick & Captain Renault, which, by the end of the play, has blossomed into the beginnings of a "beautiful friendship", in which elements of love are understood, if not overtly conveyed. Captain Renault saves Rick from a terrible fate, having shot a German-Nazi Major, and instead of having his authorities apprehend Rick, Captain Renault instead instructs his men to "round up the usual suspects". An action in which love for a friend is certainly present. The viewpoint which emerges of this love is, I feel, very positive. Love in friendship is seen as being both pure & powerful in each text, an outlook which is heartwarmingly, very optimistic.
A fianl way in which a manner of thinking can be taken on the theme of love within the texts results from the sentiment that is illicit and forbidden love. By nature, love that has to be hidden evokes negative views, as of course, the love is having to be hidden. In 'HMMTB?' Alec's loving friendship with Jerry had to be maintained hidden throughout the entirity of its existance, Jerry being Alec's "secret" friend. Similarly in 'Casablanca', Ilsa's love affair and love for Rick had to be kept secret out of respect for Ilsa's husband, Victor Laszlo and his feelings. It is important to note that in both these texts love is forbidden by differeing sources. In 'HMMTB?'by class differences & segregation, which continues from the hills of Wicklow to the trenches of Flanders. This love is not allowed by society, whereas in 'Casablanca' Ilsa's love for Rick is forbidden out of her marriage to Victor, one individual. The viewpoint that I feel evolves from this type of love is mixed to positive. On one hand this love is sad & negative, as it is hidden, but this is counterbalanced by the fact that in spite of these obstacles that love can thrive. Certainly adding a positive echo to the vision.
In conclusion, the outlook on love which surfaces from its study within both texts is very mixed. Love can be positive, love can be negative. Love can be complex & intriguing, but it is never, ever straightforward.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another 25mins. So anyway, here is the part, when combined with part a gives the answer put forward for 70 marks.
My part a was given 20/30
part b 22/40 : a 'D', I mean. seriously. Is this right? is above only worth 22/40 marks for a D?
So best of luck! :P 0 -
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Dude, where's your conclusion? A Comparative essay is structured in such a way that the conclusion (where you evaluate two of the texts, one negatively, one positively, make comparisons to other texts you have read etc) is way more important than ST or Poetry.
Has your teacher mentioned conclusions in Comparative?
Your structure overall is fairly tight. It is a good idea to stick very closely to the format of Comparative essays.
Have you proof read it? The syntax could be cleaned up a bit.
A D is very very harsh.
Nope, never ever mentioned conclusions being any more important / relevant than they are with any of your other answers...
Teacher's attitude:
Aspects of love:
-within the marriage
-illicit
-between parent / child etc. these are your points for any essay on love.
Never have I gotten any briefing on the importance of conclusions.
Also I've done more research & apparently keymoments should be referred to in ANY & EVERY answer. Not just those which stipulate using them in the question.....
Elaborate on your syntax comment, if you wouldn't mind? Like, I get what you mean but I dont see the flaw in the way I'm writing. Like, if it isn't too much to ask (& I'm sure it isnt cos you've been really helpful) would you mind just taking a poorly written sentence from somewhere in my answer, and rewrite it appropriately? Merci beaucoup.
& I have know idea what a 'proper format of a comparative essay' is... Even though I've spent hours & hours writing no less than 10 of them...0 -
That's very strange altogether.. What would your teacher's reputation around the school be, in terms of the quality of her teaching? The conclusion is the heartbeat of the Comparative essay, aside from explicit comparisons between the texts.IfUSeekAmy wrote: »Nope, never ever mentioned conclusions being any more important / relevant than they are with any of your other answers...
Teacher's attitude:
Aspects of love:
-within the marriage
-illicit
-between parent / child etc. these are your points for any essay on love.
Never have I gotten any briefing on the importance of conclusions.
Also I've done more research & apparently keymoments should be referred to in ANY & EVERY answer. Not just those which stipulate using them in the question.....
Elaborate on your syntax comment, if you wouldn't mind? Like, I get what you mean but I dont see the flaw in the way I'm writing. Like, if it isn't too much to ask (& I'm sure it isnt cos you've been really helpful) would you mind just taking a poorly written sentence from somewhere in my answer, and rewrite it appropriately? Merci beaucoup.
& I have know idea what a 'proper format of a comparative essay' is... Even though I've spent hours & hours writing no less than 10 of them...
Have a chat with your teacher about it, definitely.
Your conclusion should run as follows:
1. "There are many similarities and differences in terms of [insert mode eg theme of love, vision and viewpoint] between these three texts"
2. Choose one of the texts which you thought treated the theme of love best and comment upon it. How did it treat the theme? How was it effective? You have complete scope here to mention other texts, not on the course, that you have read and point out similarities between the two. The aim here is to show the examiner that you have the capability to critically analyse texts, even ones that you have read in your own time.
3. Choose another text, rinse and repeat. Except, this time, it is a good idea to choose a text that you thought treated the theme of love (or indeed cultural context or v+v) a bit badly. You can again make comparisons to other texts not on the course
That's essentially it. It should be just as long ( 3/4 page-1 page) as your other main paragraphs.
I can PM you a conclusion that I did for a recent essay that got an A1 (oh how much of a twat I sound like...), just so you can see what I mean about the layout.
Your grammar, word order and general mechanics is actually very good in your writing. I was trying to see from where you could have pulled the D. Here are the main mistakes I picked up:- "important & sentimental instances". Symbols like "&" should never ever ever ever be used. Though you could have been abbreviating it since you were copying it from your essay to the computer.
- " Minorly insinuating that she misses them" You say this randomly. It isn't really a stand-alone sentence.
- "And this standpoint is formed by two examples which could not be more different." Teachers hate when you begin a sentence with "and".
When writing an essay which you are handing up as homework, read it out loud to yourself at least an hour after you have finished it. Any mistakes will be obvious to you because the mistake will be awkward to say. Also, doing this a while afterwards gives you fresh eyes/ears.
Why, in God's name, have you wrote ten essays for Comparative? There are three modes! One essay for each mode is pretty much enough to know along with knowing your texts well. You can twist your essay to fit around most questions eg if it asks how theme makes the texts interesting, mention at the beginning of every paragraph how such-a-point is really interesting. Or, if it asks how key moments are the pivot on which theme spins in the texts, mention that the moment in the text that you are referring to is a key moment explicitly.0 -
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