'Twas the night before Christmas ...

The thought struck me that we needed our own version of this:


‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Lair
Not a creature was stirring, not even Nerbear.
The stockings were hung by the fire’s cosy light,
And Dobby forbidden to touch them that night!

In hammocks, in blankets, in corners, on ledges,
From centre of Lair to the very far edges,
There slumbered the loonies in rows and in groups,
In singles and pairs, in squads and in troops.

And right by the fire, heads nodding in sleep,
Sat Kharn and Orestes, in slumber so deep.
‘Doom guarded the door, and Nerin the rafters,
Bats hung from the roof, mice nibbled the afters.

And deep in the Lair, where no-one could find him,
Randy giggled away, where no-one would mind him.
And Noxcat snoozed quietly back on his cushion,
No hi-jinks tonight, no shoving, no pushing.

Then out at the cavemouth there arose such a clatter
That ‘Doom sprang from his chair to see what was the matter!
When what to his wondering eye should appear,
But a glowing red sleigh, and eight merry reindeer.

With a red-suited driver, so drunken, so pished,
He could barely just see to read from his list!
Yet his balance he kept, and his reindeer the same,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the cave! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

And they dashed, and they staggered, then recovered and flew,
Straight in by SDooM, and somehow he knew
That this night he need not pull out his shotgun …
Not zombies tonight, but presents and fun!

And thrice round the Lair they circled and danced,
They shook all the delph as they rattled and pranced.
And on shelves and on tables as they circled the floor
Appeared presents and bottles, and chocolates and more.

And the jolly fat man, who guided the sleigh,
Was tippling and swaying, and laughing away,
But ‘Doom heard him shout, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"



Anyone else try their hand at nocturnalising some seasonal jingles?

Politely, of course! (Well ... reasonably! >_>)