How to deal with threats?

ThOnda · 30-12-2007 2:58pm #1

Hallo, I feel stupid about writing this, but maybe I could get some good advice.

My former housemate threatens me with physical violence, because he is convinced that I had(have) an affair with his partner. And I didn't and don't.

I've been to Gardai to make official complain, however what else I could do to "back up" my health?

He is now using his friends to scare me just to go to my usual places like work and shops.

If you have any reasonable suggestions, please, let me know.

I don't want to scare him or to hurt him. I would like to let him know that if he does something to me, consequences would follow.

Tusky · 30-12-2007 3:04pm

Is there any way you can prove to him that you didnt have the affair ? Maybe get in touch with the girl and get her to talk to him on your behalf ?

Bottle_of_Smoke · 30-12-2007 3:20pm

I doubt there's much more you can do. Does he go into detail about why he thinks you had the affair?

Just be careful of your own paranoia, are you entirely sure he's getting people to follow you or could they be coincidence?

Miss Fluff · 30-12-2007 3:25pm

How does he threaten you? Verbally? Have you witnesses?

ThOnda · 30-12-2007 4:29pm

They are (were?) a couple I had shared house with.
I have just respect to her as to any other woman and mother of their kid.
When she started thinking about having some relationship with me, I told her that I am not interested and moved out in few hours. It meant staying in hotels few nights.
I used phone to explain that I had no intentions to have any relationship with her, I replied to few SMSs and e-mails.

Threats were made by phone calls, I have saved one SMS and his friends who broke into her e-mail account used threats in e-mails. I have been threatened to be beaten. In front of shops, gym or my work. I have it in e-mails, so I have sent them to my friends, I am going to print them soon and keep copies on some safe place.

I have been told by Gardai to keep and save all evidence I have and I am going to do that. On few independent places.

I gave him that information, so if he is going to try to contact me in any way, of if any accident happens to me, he would be the first person visited by Gardai.

I just don't know if he can think enough to understand that. We will see.

tritium · 30-12-2007 5:55pm

OP, sounds like you've done as much as you can. Unfortunately some folks, like your ex-housemate, aren't often bright enough to take the hint:( . Actually sounds like he needs to be talking to his partner, though I guess that old expression about won't spoil a pair may apply here

that said, if he knows the guards are aware of everything he's unlikely to do much beyond intimidation, since most folks don't like the idea of having a criminal record, losing job while they spend time in Mountjoy etc. It might just take him a little while to figure this out, so I'd suggest just vary your routine for a little bit, don't be too predictable, and let it blow over

thefinalstage · 30-12-2007 6:08pm

Pfft! Its only a beating! Get him alone and go man to man.

Carrigart Exile · 30-12-2007 6:30pm

You could seek a restraining order although that will cost money and court time. Perhaps a lawyers letter.

ThOnda · 30-12-2007 8:30pm

Thanks for all your words.

I only hope that he is going to use his brain a little. So far no information. And I think he is aware that being a foreigner, he'd be deported and won't see his son for few years.

Thanks once more. If I end up in hospital, I'll ask for phone number to Armagh boys... :-)

How to deal with threats?

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