Pre-qualification test

Had this idea for a pre-qualification test in order to register for the boards on the Motors forum. Any chance this can be integrated into the sign up form?

[begin amp test]

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin:

1. Are you a twat?

2. Are you sure?

3. Ah but no, seriously your a twat right?

4. So that settled then, you're a twat.

5. What's your name?

6. I'm sorry Neo, Morpheus and Trinity are already taken. We do have a lovely selection from the film "Hackers" though. Alternatively why not just use the handle "twat69"?

7. When posting to the boards, will you assume that that they've all been waiting for your nuggets of wisdom for eons or will they in fact think you're a twat?

8. Will you avoid answering rational points put towards you during your deliberately controversial posts and instead make even more intensely stupid remarks?

9. 2+2?

10. When you join the boards will you insert a minimum of four smilies (with a mandatory ) in every single post you make (when you learn how)?

11. Will you create a huge masterpiece of art containing your name and a Photoshop lens flare and insert it in your sig?

12. Have you ever broken a rib so you could give yourself oral self-pleasures?

13. Are you the product of two close relatives sexual relations?

14. Are you pent up with rage against authority and have a massive desire to bring it down?

14a. Are you a firm believer in the concepts of communism as a viable form of government?

14a1. Are you a firm believer in the concepts of anarchy and wish to try and organise yourself to creating a structure by which you can recruit a number of followers dedicated to the cause of anarchy?

14b. Do you feel it's ok to talk on a public forum about stuff that's illegal?

14c. Are you prone to feelings of oppression?

15. Are in fact very shy in real-life(tm) and feel that boards.ie is the ideal place to reveal "the real you"?

16. Do you have nothing else to do all day but go to each and every forum and reply to posts with virtually nothing intelligent? Do you think that if you post enough people will actually start to like you?

17. Grammar. Foreign land or the system of inflections, syntax, and word formation of a language?

18. Punctuation. Genre of anarchic rock music or the use of standard marks and signs in writing and printing to separate words into sentences, clauses, and phrases in order to clarify meaning?

19. Spelling. Tori's second name or putting letters in the correct order to make a word?

20. Does annoying people stimulate you sexually?

21. After being banned for the first time, will you not get the message and reregister under a different nick?

22. Will you respond to this post with the words "amp test" cos you think it's the most originally unpredictable and hilarious thing you could possibly say?

23. Will you regret the fact that years from now, people will long memories will still think you are a muppet even though you grown out of those testosterone fuelled teenage years and finally copped on?

24. Are you void of any sense of humour whatsoever?

25. Will you constantly not understand the concept of trolling and be baited into every single thread containing controversy?

26. Are you an authority on absolutely everything?

27. Do you even understand the concept of a civil debate?

28. Do you often make outrageously stupid arguments without backing them up with evidence or even understanding what the topic is about?

29. Do you have the urge to tell people all about yourself and assume that everybody’s really really interested?

30. Do you assume that because boards.ie is on the intarwab it is therefore not real and you can say whatever you like?

31. Are you under the impression that if people don't agree with you, they are automatically entered on to your list of enemies and therefore deserve to be told that they are a dumbass?

32. Does having a large post count stimulate you sexually? Does it? Does it make you all hard and moist? Do you want to whip it out right now and shout "UNNNFF! UNFFF! 100 POSTS11!" as you climax?


Thank you for testing twat69. Your results will be available once we decipher your l33tsp3&k.

[end amp test]