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whats the best/worst chat up lines

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    #2
    tryu
    Registered Users Posts: 230 ✭✭tryu


    Do you come here often?


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    #3
    Blisterman
    Registered Users Posts: 7,452 ✭✭✭Blisterman


    Moved from Puzzles/Quizzes.

    "Do you work for Jacobs?"
    "No, Why?"
    "Cause you're a cracker."


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    #4
    Jet Black
    Registered Users Posts: 3,843 ✭✭✭Jet Black


    There was a girl bent down looking in her handbag in the pub my mate was standing beside her and looked down and said 'while your down there love...'
    She tried to slap him.:D


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    #5
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Blisterman wrote: »
    Moved from Puzzles/Quizzes.

    "Do you work for Jacobs?"
    "No, Why?"
    "Cause you're a cracker."

    But a cracker wouldn't work for Jacobs. Making its own sort? That's playing God that is. No cracker should play God.


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    #6
    Turd Ferguson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    Wanna go splits on an abortion?


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    #7
    here.from.day.1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,211 ✭✭✭here.from.day.1


    Do you have colon cancer..

    Cos that ass is killer.


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    #8
    Zapho
    Registered Users Posts: 1,268 ✭✭✭Zapho


    You must be tired, because you've been running though my mind all night - screaming*




    *from www.xkcd.com


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    #9
    Rented Mule
    Registered Users Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    You won't be disappointed.

    I've eaten more pussy than cervical cancer.


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    #10
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    "Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!"


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    #11
    Zebra3
    Registered Users Posts: 13,860 ✭✭✭✭Zebra3


    "Are you doin' the gee?"

    Gets a straight forward yes or no answer.


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    #12
    loveissucide
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭loveissucide


    "Mind helping me move something?-seven and a half ounces of fluid sperm"


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    #13
    Lorrs33
    Registered Users Posts: 690 ✭✭✭Lorrs33


    Heard this from a friend of a friend:

    "Are you walking home alone tonight?"

    Maybe he worded it wrong.


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    #14
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    "I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you."


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    #15
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    do you want to halves on a bastard

    howz your belly for a lodger


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    #16
    Wile E. Coyote
    Registered Users Posts: 1,560 ✭✭✭Wile E. Coyote


    Are your parent retarded?

    Cause you sure are special!


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    #17
    Rocky Balboa 2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 278 ✭✭Rocky Balboa 2


    I have 3 STDs, Wanna make it 4?

    You have 206 bones in your body, wanna make it 207?


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    #18
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Some more coming back to me now.

    Was in a night club in Dundalk and we were trying to figure out the worst chat up lines ever. I figured that a lot of them had been done before so I decided to use my visual impairment as a good opener.

    Me: Hi there
    Girl: Em hi
    Me: How are you?
    Girl: Ok
    Me: Look, I might be blind but that shouldn't really matter. It's all braille under the skirt anyway.


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    #19
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Does this rag smell like Chloroform?


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    #20
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

    I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you. I wanna be on you.


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    #21
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    TheZohan wrote: »
    I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

    I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you. I wanna be on you.

    Oh if only I was Ron Burgundy. *sighs*


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    #22
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    -"You remind me of a parking ticket"

    -Wtf

    -Because you've got fine written all over you.


    :rolleyes:


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    #23
    chopperbyrne
    Registered Users Posts: 10,987 ✭✭✭✭chopperbyrne


    Man - "Polar bears!"

    Girl - "What?"

    Man - "I don't know, but they're good at breaking the ice."


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    #24
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    chopperbyrne wrote: »
    Man - "Polar bears!"

    Girl - "What?"

    Man - "I don't know, but they're good at breaking the ice."

    I much prefer fat penguin to polar bear.


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    #25
    bobmalooka
    Registered Users Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭bobmalooka


    me:do you work for mc donalds

    her: eh.....no

    me: cos you look like a mc gorgeous :cool:

    its so sh!t it gets a decent response most of the time
    :eek:


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    #26
    That_Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    bobmalooka wrote: »
    me:do you work for mc donalds

    her: eh.....no

    me: cos you look like a mc gorgeous :cool:

    its so sh!t it gets a decent response most of the time
    :eek:

    If I was a girl I'd be telling you that you're a McMoron!


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    #27
    RonMexico
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,916 ✭✭✭RonMexico


    Does your father still wash you?

    What!

    Just checkin to see if the position is vacant.


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    #28
    *giggles*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 930 ✭✭✭*giggles*


    The most useless chat up line is "Are you a fart? 'Cos you just blew me away" Never EVER works.


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    #29
    af_thefragile
    Registered Users Posts: 7,171 ✭✭✭af_thefragile


    My name is URL wrote: »
    Does this rag smell like Chloroform?

    Aah the classic!!
    Never fails! :D


    Anyway, some nerdy ones:

    "If you were DNA and I was Helicase then when we'ld meet I could unzip you genes!"

    "I wish you are derived cuz when we integrate I can lay tangent to your curves"



    some awful ones:

    "Girl I bet you're a parking ticket cuz you've got fine written all over you!!"

    "Girl, I wanna drink your bathwater"

    "I can save you on your car insurance!!"

    "You'll do".


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    #30
    themadchef
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,813 ✭✭✭themadchef


    Wanna play house? You be the front door and I'll bang you all night long


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    #31
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    How about your pinky and my brain take over my bedroom?


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