Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

"boner Wednesday"

Options
  • 09-11-2007 12:32pm
    #1
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭


    Brothers,

    I have a dilemma.

    For long and boring medical reasons, I had to have an operation on my todger this week. A circumcsion, to be exact :P

    Now, that's all well and good. No lasting damage done.

    BUT......

    ....and this is huge....

    ....I'm not supposed to "use it" for 5 days.Like no ****, no erections. Nothing. Plus I'm off work, so i have a lot of handshandy time available to me.

    So, essentially, I get to have a party in my pants on wednesday (but tuesday Ireland time- I'm in new zealand at the mo). "boner wednesday" will be a joyous day indeed. But I've never really gone more than 15 mins without thinking about wimmins. I think I even got a stiffy when I was under the anaesthetic :P

    How can I last all that time without thinking of the naughtiness? What do you guys do when you're trying to avoid rude thoughts, like when ur in ur granny's gaff, or at mass :P

    I trust you guys can help. You're my only hope.

    Yours in desperation.....


«1345

Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Degsy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    Idiocy.:rolleyes:


  • Options
    #3
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    it's true Degsy.

    Not being allowed a boner til wednesday makes me an idiot.

    I wish I was clever like you ;)


  • Options
    #4
    crosstownk
    Registered Users Posts: 12,863 ✭✭✭✭crosstownk


    Drink copious amounts of alcohol to ensure you suffer from continual brewers droop*








    *May not be what a qualified doctor would recommend
    Untitled Image




  • Options
    #5
    cregser
    Registered Users Posts: 999 ✭✭✭cregser


    I guess you'll have to read wikipedia, watch documentaries and play computer games all day...

    You're gonna get an erection there's no avoiding it. I heard you get at least 6 a night in your sleep - and thats just to keep it ticking over.


  • Options
    #6
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Think of your parents having a shag. That ought to dampen any "stirrings".

    But don't think of it too much, that could end in expensive therapy.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Blitzkrieger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,661 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    Any time you feel one coming on just think of Shirley Temple Bar naked.


  • Options
    #8
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Blitzkrieger wrote: »
    Any time you feel one coming on just think of Shirley Temple Bar naked.

    oooh thats a good one. :eek: **shudder**


  • Options
    #9
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    6 times in a night??? Jesus, I was gona hit the sack now...but might wait a little longer!!! Yoikes!!!!

    But just to recap...I have to get drunk, think of me folks havin a rattle, with shirley temple bar there in the nip, while reading wikipedia and playing computer games.

    This is gonna be one ****ed up night :P


  • Options
    #10
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,766 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Just to wind the OP up in punishment for what is quite obviously a PI - I think that this would be a great opportunity for the BG&RH wimmins to post sexy pics of themselves.

    C'mon gals - get 'em out!


  • Options
    #11
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    Just to wind the OP up in punishment for what is quite obviously a PI - I think that this would be a great opportunity for the BG&RH wimmins to post sexy pics of themselves.

    C'mon gals - get 'em out!

    no wayyyyy dude. How could you do this to me!!!! lol

    Also, I'm banned from PI, so don't go moving this thread :P

    PS on boner wednesday, i would actively encourage hot pics in this thread :D No fat chicks or ugly birds, but.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    forgot attachment opps


  • Options
    #13
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,766 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    PS on boner wednesday, i would actively encourage hot pics in this thread :D No fat chicks or ugly birds, but.

    By Wednesday you won't give a shíte what the pics are like coz you'll have a horn on you that would beat a jackass out of a sandpit. :D


  • Options
    #14
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    irishbird wrote: »
    forgot attachment opps

    that's god's way of teling u not to mess with nature :P


  • Options
    #15
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    you'll have a horn on you that would beat a jackass out of a sandpit. :D

    lol

    quality :D


  • Options
    #16
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Tough break... i wooden be up for a whole week of abstenance...

    Stay away from the PC, don't watch TV, lock away all your porno and put the key in a safety deposit box at your local bank, get a few sodoko books that will bore the life out of you, frustrate you yet still keep your mind off junior, stock up on 28 bottles of good whiskey, pace yourself to just 1 bottle every 3 hours, get 12 hours of sleep every night, and you'll be fine! If you are about to stray, rip off the bandage and dip it in your glass!


  • Options
    #17
    smashey
    Registered Users Posts: 21,676 ✭✭✭✭smashey


    Tallaght01, just put loads of pictures of Kate Moss in your room between now and Wednesday. You'll have a guaranteed "no boner".


  • Options
    #18
    trout
    Registered Users Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭trout


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    By Wednesday you won't give a shíte what the pics are like coz you'll have a horn on you that would beat a jackass out of a sandpit. :D

    pa trout would call such an erection "a hard on that a cat couldn't scratch". There is only one horn more magnificent than this, the now legendary "diamond cutter". You will be familiar with "the blue veiner" on a daily basis.

    For what it's worth OP ... I do know a chap who required circumcision late in life, apparently you'll find the arrangement "self regulating", in that you'll get a few chubbies and semis during the few days afterwards, but you won't be blessed with a raging horn for at least a week, due to the slight twinges of pain :eek: Be sure to ask the medical experts ... especially the hot ladies.

    Good luck with the op ... and when you do get it all back in working order, watch out for the waxy plug. :cool:


  • Options
    #19
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,766 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    trout wrote: »
    For what it's worth OP ... I do know a chap who required circumcision late in life, apparently you'll find the arrangement "self regulating", in that you'll get a few chubbies and semis during the few days afterwards, but you won't be blessed with a raging horn for at least a week, due to the slight twinges of pain :eek: Be sure to ask the medical experts ... especially the hot ladies.

    Good luck with the op ... and when you do get it all back in working order, watch out for the waxy plug. :cool:
    Jaysus Brother - This "chap" you know (;);)) seems to have told you quite a bit about "his" (;);)) experience. Hmm... :D


  • Options
    #20
    trout
    Registered Users Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭trout


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    Jaysus Brother - This "chap" you know (;);)) seems to have told you quite a bit about "his" (;);)) experience. Hmm... :D
    Ya ... I know what you're getting at. I'm an anteater though, not a helmet ;)

    Now that I think about it, that chap spends a lot of time talking about his cock.


  • Options
    #21
    6th
    Registered Users Posts: 17,247 ✭✭✭✭6th


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    trying to avoid rude thoughts

    I'm confused .... l:confused:
    maple wrote: »
    Think of your parents having a shag. That ought to dampen any "stirrings".

    Wont work, have you seen his ma? ..... choice.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    6th wrote: »
    I'm confused .... l:confused:



    Wont work, have you seen his ma? ..... choice.

    LOL. :D:D


  • Options
    #23
    Kazobel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Well you could just wrap and elastic band around the base of it which would have a pronged effect 1. No erection and 2. No chance of you ever polluting the gene pool. It's win/win :D


  • Options
    #24
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,486 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    If you keep your powder dry for more than 5 days straight your nadgers will explode.


  • Options
    #25
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,284 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    I'd love to see them testing that one on Mythbusters :D


  • Options
    #26
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    johnnyskeleton wrote: »
    If you keep your powder dry for more than 5 days straight your nadgers will explode.


    hahah they're already like ****in watermelons and its only day 2!! Woke up this morning with a serious nudger on me. Had to think of maggie thatcher in the nip pretty quick to get rid of it. Me stitches were about to explode!!


  • Options
    #27
    longshanks
    Registered Users Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    trout wrote: »
    Ya ... I'm an anteater though, not a helmet ;)
    .

    classic, you should get that printed on a t-shirt


  • Options
    #28
    Carroller16
    Registered Users Posts: 1,606 ✭✭✭Carroller16


    take a whizz before ya go to bed!!!!


  • Options
    #29
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    jester77 wrote: »
    Tough break... i wooden be up for a whole week of abstenance...

    Stay away from the PC, don't watch TV, lock away all your porno and put the key in a safety deposit box at your local bank, get a few sodoko books that will bore the life out of you, frustrate you yet still keep your mind off junior, stock up on 28 bottles of good whiskey, pace yourself to just 1 bottle every 3 hours, get 12 hours of sleep every night, and you'll be fine! If you are about to stray, rip off the bandage and dip it in your glass!

    Mate, with that level of detail, you've defo done this before :P


  • Options
    #30
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    Vividly imagining playing rugby usually does the trick for me...
    Until all the men turn into hot chicks...giggidy


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #31
    faceman
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,587 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    tallaght01, just think of the hiace driver crackin one of in his sleepin bag. You will never pitch a tent again! ;)


Advertisement