What age were you adopted at?

The Cool · 06-11-2012 10:03pm

Just for those of you who are feeling a bit negative about the time you spent at a home as a newborn, I can tell you a bit about what it would have been like as my mother worked at one for a few years.

This was Nazareth House in Donegal. My mum worked there from the age of 18-21 ish, I think. This would have been late 80s.

Babies went there until they were about 6-8 weeks. This was because, as somebody said on page 2, the birth mother had a right to reclaim their child until around then. After the baby was 6 or 8 weeks, the mother could still claim them back for some time (I'm sorry I can't remember how long) but I suppose with more difficulty. Also, i guess tiny newborns needed different kind of care than bigger children. If babies were not placed when they reached 6-8 weeks they went to a children's home in Derry and would have been placed from there.

My mum and a few other girls worked shifts there but it was mostly nuns who were there all the time. She says that in a way it was sad seeing all those tiny babies that had been given up; because I was a baby around that time and i suppose she was imagining other girls who were very young mothers as well and had parted ways with their babies.

She says that there may have been 10 babies there at a time on average, when she was there. They were always kept clean and cosy and well-fed, and there were always plenty of baby cuddles (the main reason my mum worked there I suspect!) Every baby was treated with care and love, and they (the staff) used to laugh about how at that small, they had their own little characters and everything. I guess what I mean is, no baby was ever treat as just something that needed to be looked after - they were all treated as their own little people with big futures and adventures ahead with families who would give them lots of love.

Unfortunately due to the volume of newborns that would come and stay there, my mum did experience a few babies that suffered cot death. Mum found one such baby herself - a little boy she had been cuddling to sleep in the rocking chair and then put into his cot, and when she went in to the nursery 10 minutes later (the sleeping babies were checked every 10 mins) he had passed away. It was a very sad experience and she didn't go back to work for a while after that.

I don't know if this will serve any purpose for any of ye but I just get the feeling that some of you may think of that unaccounted time as just lying in a cot for a few weeks somewhere, and I wanted to share my mum's story and let you know that it wasn't like that. From what she experienced, all babies spent that in-between period in a loving cared-for atmosphere.

viewpoint · 07-11-2012 12:28am

Your piece is very moving and hope it gives a fuller picture.
I believe that anyone who can contribute to filling in gaps in information for those who were cared for in infant homes and hospitals should not hesitate to provide this information. I believe this very strongly, my sister, RIP, cared enough to keep very special mementos from those children she cared for and loved in St. Patrick's Infant Hospital, Blackrock.
They did not see this as just a job - even though she was young she cared so much.
I really want to return her notes, photos and wrist band and cot tags back to their owners. I want to help in any way I can to move this forward and to encourage other nurses and care workers to do likewise and to tell the story.

lovechips · 07-11-2012 2:56pm

The Cool wrote: »

Just for those of you who are feeling a bit negative about the time you spent at a home as a newborn, I can tell you a bit about what it would have been like as my mother worked at one for a few years.

This was Nazareth House in Donegal. My mum worked there from the age of 18-21 ish, I think. This would have been late 80s.

Babies went there until they were about 6-8 weeks. This was because, as somebody said on page 2, the birth mother had a right to reclaim their child until around then. After the baby was 6 or 8 weeks, the mother could still claim them back for some time (I'm sorry I can't remember how long) but I suppose with more difficulty. Also, i guess tiny newborns needed different kind of care than bigger children. If babies were not placed when they reached 6-8 weeks they went to a children's home in Derry and would have been placed from there.

My mum and a few other girls worked shifts there but it was mostly nuns who were there all the time. She says that in a way it was sad seeing all those tiny babies that had been given up; because I was a baby around that time and i suppose she was imagining other girls who were very young mothers as well and had parted ways with their babies.

She says that there may have been 10 babies there at a time on average, when she was there. They were always kept clean and cosy and well-fed, and there were always plenty of baby cuddles (the main reason my mum worked there I suspect!) Every baby was treated with care and love, and they (the staff) used to laugh about how at that small, they had their own little characters and everything. I guess what I mean is, no baby was ever treat as just something that needed to be looked after - they were all treated as their own little people with big futures and adventures ahead with families who would give them lots of love.

Unfortunately due to the volume of newborns that would come and stay there, my mum did experience a few babies that suffered cot death. Mum found one such baby herself - a little boy she had been cuddling to sleep in the rocking chair and then put into his cot, and when she went in to the nursery 10 minutes later (the sleeping babies were checked every 10 mins) he had passed away. It was a very sad experience and she didn't go back to work for a while after that.

I don't know if this will serve any purpose for any of ye but I just get the feeling that some of you may think of that unaccounted time as just lying in a cot for a few weeks somewhere, and I wanted to share my mum's story and let you know that it wasn't like that. From what she experienced, all babies spent that in-between period in a loving cared-for atmosphere.

I worked in the Nazereth House in Fahan in the eighties. Wonder do I know your mother. Yes it was a very loving home probably because there were only a handful of babies there at a time.The local community took the place to their hearts and maybe 30 local families adopted from there . uniquely every child knew they were adopted and there was never an issue with that anywhere. Some local teenager volunteers would come in to help care for the babies and to play with them. Only qualified nurses worked full time which gave them the best of both worlds. The volunteers would be fighting to get their turn to mind the babies as no one wanted them to feel unloved.

whitemoon · 12-11-2012 3:16pm

viewpoint wrote: »

Your piece is very moving and hope it gives a fuller picture.
I believe that anyone who can contribute to filling in gaps in information for those who were cared for in infant homes and hospitals should not hesitate to provide this information. I believe this very strongly, my sister, RIP, cared enough to keep very special mementos from those children she cared for and loved in St. Patrick's Infant Hospital, Blackrock.
They did not see this as just a job - even though she was young she cared so much.
I really want to return her notes, photos and wrist band and cot tags back to their owners. I want to help in any way I can to move this forward and to encourage other nurses and care workers to do likewise and to tell the story.

Hi Viewpoint, my hubby was in St Patricks, Templehill Blackrock from 1967 till 1970 and we know nothing of his time there. I think it is a lovely gesture on your part to do what you are doing in memory of your late sister, RIP. When did your sister work there?

viewpoint · 12-11-2012 11:56pm

Hello Whitemoon, thanks for your reply. My sister was there from 1981-1983. A bit later than your husband's time in Templehill. There should be people around who worked there at that time.
People should help if they have any information to contribute to people who want this information. I think the Sisters of Charity must have information and photos etc. which might be interesting if you contact them directly. They have some historic information on the order and their work in their centre in St. Joseph's, Harolds Cross, (beside Hospice).
hope you get some help.

opawaman · 14-01-2013 8:43pm

How do i find out if my adoption was illegal, is there an organisation that can assist.
Was not officially adopted until i was sixteen. My birthmother was not asked even asked or informed though i had been fostered out from birth. Traced my Birthmother when she 82 and dying of cancer so i did not ask too many questions. Now my friends say my adoption may have been illegal.

TylerIE · 14-01-2013 9:00pm

opawaman wrote: »

How do i find out if my adoption was illegal, is there an organisation that can assist.
Was not officially adopted until i was sixteen. My birthmother was not asked even asked or informed though i had been fostered out from birth. Traced my Birthmother when she 82 and dying of cancer so i did not ask too many questions. Now my friends say my adoption may have been illegal.

Others may have a better idea but Barnados post adoption service may guide you in the right direction:
http://www.barnardos.ie/what-we-do/specialist-services/adoption.html

freeicetea · 26-02-2013 11:29pm

I was 6 weeks old at adoption through Cunamh. I was in the mother and baby home with my birth mother (well kept downstairs away from her) for the first 6 day or so of my life. Then she was told she had to move on and leave me there. My adoptive parents were handed me at 6 weeks. So for 5 and a half weeks of my life I was in a foster carers. I have always wondered about this time of my life as it must have been traumatic for me. I arrived to my birth parents in a bad way. I had awful nappy rash all over my legs and back and could not be held for my first few months as I shook when i was touched. I have asked my agency and they have logged a report (obviously not much will come of this)

Nicola20 · 25-03-2013 12:29am

Moonbeam wrote: »

I was wondering where the 1st 3 months of my life went.
I wasn't given to my parents until I was 3 months old and they got me from think it was Haddington road (I forget but it was around there).
I was adopted through St Patricks guild and Sr Gabriel.
Other people were adopted at a few days old so I am wondering does anyone have any idea why I would have been 3 months old?
I really need to start an official search.
Why am I wondering this now? My 2nd daughter is now 3 months old and I could not imagine her with out a mammy to love her and mind her.

Hey Moonbeam,
I was also adopted from St Patricks Guild, through Sr.Gabriel, in 1992. I think maybe a possibility is that you were fostered. I was also send to my adoptive family at 3 months, I was fostered in Bray for three months after I was born. Is that a possibility?

Hope I helped!

The_Conductor · 25-03-2013 8:30am

Its very possible- I'm personally aware of a family in Celbridge who by their own reckoning fostered over 80 new born and young children prior to adoption. They only stopped when they felt they were getting too old and didn't have the energy to care for young children. Its quite possible. There were families, often with children of their own, who helped out like this- often over the course of several decades. Its definitely a line of enquiry worth pursuing.

diabeticmum · 25-03-2013 6:17pm

I know my husband was born premature, and under 5lbs and was kept in hospital for 2 months and given to adoptive parents immediately on release from hospital.

thefixitman · 14-04-2013 1:05am

I'm 33, and for the first 2 years of my life I was in temple hill until I was 2 years and 8 months old!!

viewpoint · 15-04-2013 11:10pm

thanks for your message - my sister worked in Templehill from 1981 until 1982, would these years link up with your time in Templehill ?

thefixitman · 15-04-2013 11:42pm

Those years would certainly make sense, I have some pictures of me with some of the nurses who would have worked there, that brought me out on trips out, perhaps it could have been your sister, im sure she would have known some of the people in them. On the back of each photo are the names of the people in the photo. I was there from 1980-1982

viewpoint · 17-04-2013 11:25am

likewise I have photos which my sister kept in her personal items, including tags and writsbands etc. She even kept two bottle teats, I am sure there was a very special reason why she kept them. I would love to see the photos as I am in contact with two other nurses who worked in Templehill and while my sister is no longer around, her friends might be able to help.

Moonbeam · 17-04-2013 10:14pm

was Haddington road like Templehill? or was it just the place that people collected babies?
I am still curious about the 1st few months of my life.
I have a little 3 month old and I could not imagine him not having a mammy to tend to his every need!

emma11811 · 18-04-2013 11:33pm

E39MSport wrote: »

Hi All.

This is not something I talk about at all, anywhere.

I've just stumbled across this forum and only last week also stumbled across my adoption certificate. I was surprised to see that the date on the form is 14 months after my DOB.

Is that generally a good indicator of how long one might have been in the home or whatever it's called?

I remember having a very strong habit of banging my head on my pillow in bed when going to sleep and off the back of couch etc. Must have had the habit for a while if I can remember doing it. I also remember the deep calming effect it had on me when I practiced it.

Have a feeling I was on my own for a while maybe....

Maybe just a conincidence.

Re: tracing, had a letter a few years ago when the adoption thing hit the news the first time. I refused contact because I didn't want to upset my adoptive parents and find it hard to deal with life as it is without opening up whatever can of worms it might bring.

Apparently, I had a half brother who dropped dead at 30 which has me worried.

Hi its so weird you say about banging your head to sleep I always had to rock my head back and forth to get to sleep too and still do it when Im in a light sleep

Elizvonne · 25-04-2013 10:06pm

Moonbeam
Saint Patricks Guild adoption agency was on Haddington Road. To my knowledge there were no babies there but this may have been where adoptive babies were given there babies. Hope you manage to join the dots. Best Wishes E

Moonbeam · 04-05-2013 10:38pm

I asked my mum and I was in Templehill too,presumably Jan 82 to April 82

Julie_S · 30-05-2013 8:42am

My birth mum kept me with her for 5 days in the hospital, then I was placed with a foster family in the northside of Cork City for 5 weeks, then went on to a family in the southside for 2 weeks. I was placed with my parents when I was almost 9 weeks old and my adoption was legally granted when I was 9 months old. It was then that my mam took her first photo of me as she was afraid to before that day in case my birth mother changed her mind an took me back.

cabogirl · 24-07-2013 11:22pm

It is so lovely for me to hear those stories about Nazareth House. I was there before adoption, I was born 1985. Does anyone who knows about the place know if the adoptive parents would come there to visit the baby before placement? My adoptive parents have very distinctive names, I would not be surprised if someone working there were to recall them and therefore recall me! Perhaps I am being overly fantastical

Sun in Capri · 26-07-2013 8:09am

I was adopted at 9 months old in 1964. My birth Mother was in Castlepollard. I have never been able to establish if I was in Castlepollard until I was 9 months or if I was moved elsewhere. Does anyone know anything about a home in Stamullen in Meath? I think some babies were sent there waiting to be adopted.

Isn't it appalling that as adults we can't have our full information. You have to fight for every nugget. I fought for 20 years to find out what county in Ireland my birth mother was from! The Agency would only tell me it was the North West of Ireland. I couldnt trace my birth cert myself as the Agency gave me the incorrect informtion about my first name so tracing my birth cert was impossible until last year. I have always found it appalling that a stranger can look at my file and I can't.

justagirl · 14-01-2014 2:31pm

opawaman wrote: »

How do i find out if my adoption was illegal, is there an organisation that can assist.
Was not officially adopted until i was sixteen. My birthmother was not asked even asked or informed though i had been fostered out from birth. Traced my Birthmother when she 82 and dying of cancer so i did not ask too many questions. Now my friends say my adoption may have been illegal.

You could first contact the Adoption Authority of Ireland:

http://http://aai.gov.ie/index.php/tracing/information-service.html

They are very helpful. Do you have your original birth cert at all?

justagirl · 14-01-2014 2:37pm

opawaman wrote: »

How do i find out if my adoption was illegal, is there an organisation that can assist.
Was not officially adopted until i was sixteen. My birthmother was not asked even asked or informed though i had been fostered out from birth. Traced my Birthmother when she 82 and dying of cancer so i did not ask too many questions. Now my friends say my adoption may have been illegal.

You could first contact the Adoption Authority of Ireland:

http://http://aai.gov.ie/index.php/tracing/information-service.html

They are very helpful. Do you have your original birth cert at all?

figum · 06-07-2014 6:01pm

Moonbeam wrote: »

I was wondering where the 1st 3 months of my life went.
I wasn't given to my parents until I was 3 months old and they got me from think it was Haddington road (I forget but it was around there).
I was adopted through St Patricks guild and Sr Gabriel.
Other people were adopted at a few days old so I am wondering does anyone have any idea why I would have been 3 months old?
I really need to start an official search.
Why am I wondering this now? My 2nd daughter is now 3 months old and I could not imagine her with out a mammy to love her and mind her.

That is so like me! I just want my medical records!

CollyD34 · 15-07-2014 8:21pm

Hi, I was a baby in temple hill from july '80 to around Nov '80 and was in Haddington rd to be collected by my adoptive parents. Sister Gabriel's surname was Murphy. Not all babies wer adopted immediately as my adopted brother was there longer than myself. I too am looking to get some medical records.

SMJSF · 15-08-2014 5:08pm

I wasn't adopted, but I was in 2 foster homes and a residential home...
was fostered from the age of 8, until 16 and then was in residential care from 16 until 18...

my relationship with mum is awful, I don't see that I'm related to her, I see my last foster home (2004-2010) as my family.

RANIA · 30-08-2014 2:07am

i was born in holles st with my mum for 4 days
then sent to cherry orchard hospital alone for 2 months
then foster home no 1 for 4 months
foster home no 2 for 2 months
foster home 3 for 3 months .then adopted.
i feel sad for the baby that was me not held or cuddled in a hospital when my mother so much wanted me.

The_Conductor · 30-08-2014 6:54pm

@Rania- that certainly was rough- some adopted children had a lot worse a journey, than had others. I know what you mean about feeling sorry for the little child who never got the hugs and cuddles from its mother that the child so deserved- even if you were talking about yourself. I have two young children myself now- and I just melt when they come up to me for hugs and cuddles- its pure happiness. Happy in a way I know I never felt as a child.

I hope you've had a chance to make up for some of the deficit in hugs and cuddles you missed out on as a child.

viewpoint · 05-09-2014 4:00pm

CollyD34 wrote: »

Hi, I was a baby in temple hill from july '80 to around Nov '80 and was in Haddington rd to be collected by my adoptive parents. Sister Gabriel's surname was Murphy. Not all babies wer adopted immediately as my adopted brother was there longer than myself. I too am looking to get some medical records.

Good luck with search, i hope you get your records. My sister only started in Templehill in 1981. When was your brother in Templehill. ?

mc coy · 26-02-2017 11:12pm

Thank you so much for posting this. it was so nice to here. I was just browsing the net looking for any information on nazareth house or the Fahan baby home which I was adopted from. I was told I was there for 14 months when I was adopted . I would have been there in 1970-1971..

What age were you adopted at?

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