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Porn, Strip Clubs, etc. How do you feel about them?

  • 28-08-2009 11:08pm
    #1
    Acacia
    Registered Users Posts: 2,816 ✭✭✭


    I thought this would be an interesting topic, as it has been often brought up in tLL, and I'd like to hear guys' views.:)

    I've found the general consensus on boards and in 'real-life', that viewing porn, going to strip clubs, etc, is something of a secretive nature that most guys feel a compelling urge to do and that they have to hide from their partners in case it upsets them. Also, some people think the sex industry as a whole is disgusting, immoral, etc,etc.

    This is a view that annoys me for a few reasons- firstly, I disagree with the view that 'men will be men' and all of them are either into porn or there's something 'wrong' with them!
    Secondly, that women are portrayed as prudes who hate porn/ strip clubs, etc and feel threatened by them. Not all women are like this, many enjoy porn, strip clubs, etc.

    I would also disagree that the sex industry is immoral/ inherently wrong- I believe in choice for women and men to make a living in porn, etc if they choose. The only thing that concerns me is sexual expolitation (people being forced into it).

    Well, that's my view of it- what are yours? Would you look at porn alot, or go to strip clubs? Do you find it demeaning to men or women, either observer or performer? Do you think women in general are not as open about the whole thing as men? Discuss!


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Comments

  • #2
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Iv seen my fair share af the naughty stuff.........:eek: TBH, I pretty much would look at up to 30mins of filth over the course of 2 weeks. (not a shocking amount but just enough;))

    Iv been to a few strip clubs, (maybe 8-9) with groups of lads, stags, lads holidays...over the years.

    ...id never go alone cos I would deem that to be pervy, dnt know why!!


  • #3
    Will
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    Went on a trip to liverpool with some mates about 4 years ago. The guys were mad into hittin a strip club/lapdancing club, I wasn't bothered. My idea of a strip club then was a place full of pervy old men gettin young women to dance on them. Felt that we young lads shouldn't be there cos there were clubs around and we could just have the craic there with other women.

    anywho i begrudgingly went a long. Paid £10 in and you got a free dance with it. One mate in particular was quite eager. I didn't like the place at all to be honest. I had a drink, politely declined the free dance from the dancers and said my very eager mate could have my free lap dance. Which he took with a huge grin on his face.

    It felt very seedy and sleazy to me, my other mates weren't bothered by it at all. I'm far from a prude, just felt out of place or something.

    Was in Las Vegas last year for 2 days, didn't even cross my mind about going to one. Just not my thing.


  • #4
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    I once was sent to Florida with work for three weeks, and whilst you couldn't get a drop of booze after 11pm (even in the hotels) there were more strip joints than you could shake a stick at!


    The guys I was working with, almost without exception, be they single, married, etc went to the local strip joint every payday at lunchtime, some of their wives worked with them, and it was a perfectly normal boys payday "treat" to them.

    I'd not be overly concerned with a partner going to one as part of a lads night out/stag do/whatever. I'd not be keen on going to one, but I would like to see some burlesque shows (different type of thing imo)


    As for porn, my only real exposure to it has been through work, and a couple of "incidents" (I work in IT), I've no real interest in watching porn personally.


  • #5
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,190 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    I've no interest in porn or strip clubs or the like. Obviously a very odd guy. :D

    To each his or her own is my motto, so long as there's no exploitation.


  • #6
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    I have been to a few but its not my bag and doesnt do it for me.

    If I was on a lads night and it was the venue then Ok but I wouldn't go out of my way to get there.

    I get amused at double standards by girls.Anne Summers parties, Chippendales and lots of articles in mainstream mags like Cosmo etc are about titilation, fantasy and eroticism.


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  • #7
    Acacia
    Registered Users Posts: 2,816 ✭✭✭Acacia


    CDfm wrote: »

    I get amused at double standards by girls.Anne Summers parties, Chippendales and lots of articles in mainstream mags like Cosmo etc are about titilation, fantasy and eroticism.

    What do you mean exactly? That women are okay with these things, but not Playboy and female strip clubs? That would be double-standards, alright.

    Personally, I would be okay with Ann Summers as much as I am with Zoo and Nuts magazine.

    Thanks everyone for the replies so far, btw.


  • #8
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Acacia wrote: »
    What do you mean exactly? That women are okay with these things, but not Playboy and female strip clubs? That would be double-standards, alright.

    Whatever floats your boat.

    I think an Ann Summers party is about boozing and smut not to far from any boys night out.

    Women use porn and will go to strip clubs when they are there.

    The Chippendales came to Ireland in June and its about sex.


  • #9
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    CDfm wrote: »
    Whatever floats your boat.

    I think an Ann Summers party is about boozing and smut not to far from any boys night out.

    Women use porn and will go to strip clubs when they are there.

    The Chippendales came to Ireland in June and its about sex.

    Now I haven't quoted your previous post, but there is a vast difference between an erotic/titillating article in cosmo, and having some birds tits in your face in a strip club don't you think?

    AFAIK the Chippendales don't do private dances either.

    And yes whilst there is an element of sexual titillation in women going to the Chippendales, Ann Summers parties etc, it tends to be far less one on one than strip clubs frequented by men, who can get far more up close and personal with the employees in those clubs.


  • #10
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Strip bars are not my thang at all.Ive been to one on 2 occasions and that was more than enough.The second time I didnt even get a lapdance,I sat at the bar talking crap to the birds while my buddy disappeared for the guts of 2 hours.

    I have nothing against strip bars or strippers.Most of the women that work in them get handsomely paid and are better protected than alot of politicians so the arguement that they are exploitative towards women holds absolutely no water for me.

    I just find the idea of them a bit of a turn off.I mean,whats the point of having a woman take her clothes off,grind against your junk and rub her tits in your face without been able to touch her.Its like giving a cigarette to a smoker then hiding the matches.I just dont get it.

    As for porn,its something that I would look at regularly enough (moreso because Im single at the moment :pac:) I think its a harmless outlet that the vast majority of people take with a pinch of salt.The porn with the silicone breasted,bleached blonde and botoxed actresses is terrible crap and it bores me to tears.Any time I do view it,its always the amateur or home made stuff.
    The people in it are shown in their true light and are genuinely enjoying it.It makes for an altogether more arousing viewing experience.

    Porn,like most things,is grand in moderation.There will be people that have a skewed image of sex and what sex is about because of porn but they are in the minority(for now).

    If people arent into it thats their decision and I wouldnt try to sway them either way.Ive had partners that have enjoyed watching it and others that hated it,its different strokes for different folks!


  • #11
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    The porn with the silicone breasted,bleached blonde and botoxed actresses is terrible crap and it bores me to tears.Any time I do view it,its always the amateur or home made stuff.
    The people in it are shown in their true light and are genuinely enjoying it.It makes for an altogether more arousing viewing experience.





    +1 good buddy!!


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  • #12
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    nouggatti wrote: »
    Now I haven't quoted your previous post, but there is a vast difference between an erotic/titillating article in cosmo, and having some birds tits in your face in a strip club don't you think?

    AFAIK the Chippendales don't do private dances either.

    And yes whilst there is an element of sexual titillation in women going to the Chippendales, Ann Summers parties etc, it tends to be far less one on one than strip clubs frequented by men, who can get far more up close and personal with the employees in those clubs.

    Some people think porn is only a guy thing. Interestingly enough when Canada changed its porn laws its first prosecution was a Lesbian S & M magazine.So women do use porn and its not a male only thing and the type of porn isnt always "erotic" but goes further.

    Avedon Carol feminist writer, sometime stripper and founder of Feminists against Censorship questions the feminist position and coalition with the political right and methodoloigy of studies linking porn to violence etc and the writtings of Dworkin et al

    http://www.fiawol.demon.co.uk/FAC/harm.htm

    http://www.fiawol.demon.co.uk/FAC/index.htm

    The history of the Chippendales is linked to organised crime and several murders and certainly in the US they have been linked to male prostitution.

    Certainly in Las Vegas they offer private dances and more. Not having been to a Chippendale show ever I wouldnt know how up close and personal these are.

    From the Chippendale Website
    The Chippendales dance and sing their way into the hearts of birthday girls, bachelorettes, and girlfriends who just want to have fun.

    Throughout the show the Chippendales dance through the audience, providing plenty of hands-on interaction for those wanting a closer look at their favorite man.


  • #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I like porn. It's good entertainment and useful for.. you know. Also can make for an exciting ould time if you're with your girlfriend. :D


    I've never been to a strip club, and I don't really have any intention to go to one. Don't see the appeal, really. I'd go if it were part of a stag or something along those lines, but I wouldn't have enough interest/curiousity to bother going out of my way to visit one. I'd imagine they cost a fortune, too.


  • #14
    tribulus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,635 ✭✭✭tribulus


    Never been to a strip club and genuinely have no interest in going to one. It just seems like a big...tease, I guess. I doubt my girlfriend would be happy if I went to one (well if I got a lapdance anyway) and I wouldn't really blame her either.

    Porn, yes, lol.


  • #15
    Red Sleeping Beauty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,443 ✭✭✭Red Sleeping Beauty


    Thread of the day :D

    Never been to a strip club. There's one in Dublin just off of Dame St that has a big nasty neon pink sign and usually has people advertising it on the street. I doubt they're doing much business.


  • #16
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Alan Rouge wrote: »
    Thread of the day :D

    Never been to a strip club. There's one in Dublin just off of Dame St that has a big nasty neon pink sign and usually has people advertising it on the street. I doubt they're doing much business.

    Is there something stopping you going-even the once?Like,I ve never seen the attraction of a private lapdance myself but a friend of mine was into going to Lapellos for a while.

    Its not the money either I dont go to these places when they are free either.


  • #17
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    tribulus wrote: »
    I doubt my girlfriend would be happy if I went to one (well if I got a lapdance anyway) and I wouldn't really blame her either.


    It wouldn't bother me if my g/f went to see a male stripper.

    Would you be happy if your girlfriend went to see the Chippendales?


  • #18
    TestTransmission
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,106 ✭✭✭✭TestTransmission


    I worked in a stripbclub ( as a barman ) for over a year and a half when i was in college
    Its weird how quickly you get used to all the titty and ass :pac:


  • #19
    amacachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,316 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    Was talked into going to one on holidays, it wasn't a principled thing that I didn't want to go, just thought it was a waste of money. Mate paid for a private dance for me and at the time I thought it was class (drink + dehydration:P) but within 20 minutes I realised I'd have to pay for a dance for him the following night so I was fairly pissed about dropping that much cash. :P

    I have no objection to them, just think they're a waste of money personally.


    On porn, meh, I don't think I'm in a position to criticise anyone for watching it. :pac:


  • #20
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Porn, strip clubs, etc. are emasculating.
    Secondly, that women are portrayed as prudes who hate porn/ strip clubs, etc and feel threatened by them. Not all women are like this, many enjoy porn, strip clubs, etc.

    We know that, and surely that is secondary to the question you posed initially.
    Do you think women in general are not as open about the whole thing as men?

    More open.


  • #21
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Now I haven't quoted your previous post, but there is a vast difference between an erotic/titillating article in cosmo, and having some birds tits in your face in a strip club don't you think?

    In principle no, there isn't much difference.


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  • #22
    Fajitas!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,624 ✭✭✭✭Fajitas!


    Strip/lapdance clubs are strange indeed. They're possibly the most unarousing places ever - I don't understand how anyone could 'get off' in there tbh. A few of my friends would head to a club every now and then (One of them quite often) though. Different...er.. strokes for different folk.

    There's not much that I can add to what's been said, but they're just a seedy waste of money.

    I do, however, have a funny story about visiting one in Soho a few years ago. Let's just say we didn't realise how much the drinks were going to cost, nor how big the doormen were... If you haven't gone before, make sure of all prices before you start, the dance might only be 15 quid, but the dancer could well order a cocktail 'worth' 90 pounds...


  • #23
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    I've never been to one. Never really had the interest.
    Its a bit fake really. I can appreciate a woman dancing sexy, but having said that
    a number of girls use it as income to put them through collage, which I do respect...

    As for the blokes who go to them, a lot sounds like there missing something....


  • #24
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    anon991 wrote: »
    Porn, strip clubs, etc. are emasculating.

    I wouldn't go that far.

    anon991 wrote: »
    In principle no, there isn't much difference.

    I don't think women are honest about their porn use etc

    There is a big industry around erotic fiction targeted at women. The Story of O is famous and is for women http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_of_O

    So its fairly normal - there is not really a male equivalent to erotic fiction but it is rarely talked about.


  • #25
    El Guapo!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭El Guapo!


    A few of my mates have been to loads of strip clubs but I was never in one until this year on holidays in Greece. Me and the GF went into one for the laugh and to see what all the fuss was about and tbh it didn't appeal to me at all. One girl would get up and do a pole-dance every 10mins or so and it'd last just one song. And most of the blokes in there were just chatting and not really paying attention to the girl dancing.
    It was only a fiver in per person but it wasnt even worth that. I'd never pay a for a private dance either....just seems like a waste of money.


  • #26
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    CDfm wrote: »

    I don't think women are honest about their porn use etc

    Id tend to agree with you on that one.

    Porn is generally viewed as something that only men enjoy and as a result of this alot of women that enjoy it feel they have to say the think its seedy,degrading etc for fear of a backlash from their peers.

    Its a pity really because porn is something that can add a new dimension to a sexual relationship when both parties use it together.

    Of course some females are vehemently anti porn and thats 100% ok,it comes down to personal preference,its the ones that come out on the moral high horse claiming that women are being exploited without actually knowing anything about the industry that bugs me.

    Of course its the nature of the business that some women are exploited by it but the majority of porn stars in 2009 are well paid(at least 3 times more than their male counterparts),get regularly STI screenings and choose who they will work with and when.


  • #27
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    I've been to strip clubs but just found them fake and sleazy. I've no problem with porn at all, but I find that as I get older, a quote about porn is more and more prevalent in my mind:

    "The problem with porn is not that it shows too much, but that it shows so little".

    you know who said that? the POPE! The REAL pope, not that German dude. I still...eh...'use' porn tho :)


  • #28
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    as for porn.... I think you can watch it a bit to much etc..
    and a degree of self control is needed tho..

    But in all accounts if I was with a girl and she watch porn I'd think it would add a lot of fun to booth are live's.... and show a degree of let just stay there :D


  • #29
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Now that we are into specifics of attitudes. I wonder what the OPs and other womens attitudes are.

    Are women secretive about porn,strippers and erotic stuff when its used by women.

    Is Ann Summers sleary and part of the sex industry or innocent bachelorette bonding fun?


  • #30
    Motley Crue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,382 ✭✭✭Motley Crue


    Don't agree with them personally but would defend to the death the right of their exsistence for people to have the free will to visit them should they wish


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  • #31
    tribulus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,635 ✭✭✭tribulus


    CDfm wrote: »
    It wouldn't bother me if my g/f went to see a male stripper.

    Would you be happy if your girlfriend went to see the Chippendales?

    I wouldn't mind, nor would she mind me going to a stripclub itself (I should have clarified that earlier, sorry).

    I think it would be the private dance, having someone grinding right up against you etc. that would be a problem. I don't think I would be entirely happy with a female equivalent. It's not insecurity on our parts, just a boundary thing really.


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