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Inheriting money - not sure what to do

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Comments

  • #52
    up for anything
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭up for anything


    wexford12 wrote: »
    A lot depends on how much money is involved has he been left 5k or 50 k will the 3k make a huge dint in the balance

    moneybags12 wrote: »
    In total now she owes maybe 3K. With the money I have coming in, I could easily pay these off for her, but I'm reluctant to do that.


    If a relationship gets to a stage where one of the parties involved starts getting all daddylike (or mammylike) it's time to end it. A relationship should be between equals and not with one teaching the other lessons of any kind.


  • #53
    gud4u
    Closed Accounts Posts: 369 ✭✭gud4u


    up for anything wrote: »
    If a relationship gets to a stage where one of the parties involved starts getting all daddylike (or mammylike) it's time to end it. A relationship should be between equals and not with one teaching the other lessons of any kind.

    This is what it is really about, OP. I would ignore any sideline arguments.


  • #54
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    up for anything wrote: »
    If a relationship gets to a stage where one of the parties involved starts getting all daddylike (or mammylike) it's time to end it. A relationship should be between equals and not with one teaching the other lessons of any kind.

    Exactly...


  • #55
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    wexford12 wrote: »
    Lots of people spend this kind of money on a lap top that they are using now reading this.
    If "lots of people" are blowing 500 Euro on a laptop rather than purchase a second-hand desktop for half the price, I'm not surprised Ireland is so broke. Negative equity anyone?
    up for anything wrote: »
    If a relationship gets to a stage where one of the parties involved starts getting all daddylike (or mammylike) it's time to end it. A relationship should be between equals and not with one teaching the other lessons of any kind.
    I agree to a great extent, however if you are with someone who you believe has a problem, what should you do?

    For example, if you feel your other half has a drinking problem, are you going to buy them a drink or are you going to instead try to get them to deal with their issue? Or just leave them rather than "getting all daddylike"?

    Additionally, I'm not really sure how the OP is "getting all daddylike". He's not suggesting he takes control of her finances, he's only suggesting that he does not give her a chunk of his money that he fears could cause more harm than good.

    From what I can see the only way that he would be "getting all daddylike" is if she is entitled to this money from him and given some of the comments here, it appears that some here do think that.

    The OP has fears, which is why he has raised this topic. Either these fears are well founded or they're not. I've taken him at his word, but one could argue otherwise. Problem no one here, who is proposing he should pay, has actually done that. Instead his fears (the entire purpose for this personal issue) have been ignored in favour of indignant responses of what he should be doing.

    Nonetheless, whether she does have a problem or he is simply paranoid about it, it is an issue; and one which could ultimately destroy the relationship if they cannot meet each other half way on it.


  • #56
    keithclancy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,208 ✭✭✭keithclancy


    Money and Relationship doesn't mix.

    If you give her the money you may inadvertantly hold it over her head when you have an argument.

    On her side she might not feel comfortable taking it from you.

    Your choice, but if your not married then I wouldn't.


  • #57
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Mods, can you close this thread now please? I've gotten all the replies and perspectives that I need and thanks to all involved. Most of you have given me great food for thought, and some of you have really opened my eyes with your sense of entitlement and definition of "meanness".


This discussion has been closed.
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