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Raging

  • 03-12-2011 2:16am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    People who love soccer/can't understand why people don't like it shouldn't waste their time reading this.

    So, I'm going to spend more money on one day next year than I've ever spent on even a month of my life. I've already paid the deposit for the venue, arranged the priest and everything else. Tonight it's been announced that on the same day there'll be *two* soccer matches from Ireland's group on, including Ireland.

    I'm <mod snip> livid. I haven't darkened the door of a pub in years specifically and entirely because of the saturation soccer coverage which blares across pub rooms and destroys conversations with friends. We've booked a classy place, intentionally avoiding a Saturday wedding as that would mean the regular saturation soccer coverage would split the guests. The idea of this day away from the <mod snip> that is commercialised soccer now being destroyed by it is infuriating. It was meant to be a day with classical music, great talk out in a garden and about friends meeting up in a really chilled-out environment. But now this bland, boring, incessant and quotidian tabloid rubbish is going to destroy what should be a unique occasion. People screaming at tv screens for hours (and it is about 4-5 hours) when they are invited to share our special day is just too much.

    Does anybody have any suggestions on how to avoid a mass exodus of guests to tv land during this day? Moving the date is the obvious solution, but there are no more dates in this venue next summer, and it would probably at this stage entail losing the deposit.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Enjoy the guests that are there, don't worry about the ones that aren't.


  • #3
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    I can understand why you are livid but you need to accept that you cannot control your wedding guests. If they want to see the match, they'll do so by fair means or foul. Trying to stop them will just get their backs up. You may also have people being annoyed they have to go to your wedding when they realise it's on the same day as an Ireland game.

    The best thing you can do is arrange your day around the Ireland game (not the other one). That you'll have the meal over before the match starts, for example. Or if the game's on earlier in the day, the meal afterwards. Bear in mind too that not everyone in the place will be stampeding to the bar to watch the match. So you'll still have people there.


  • #4
    Bricriu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 288 ✭✭Bricriu


    I totally agree. I also hate this Soccer Imperialism. It's ruining pub life, with the dreaded Sky blaring from ever corner, and so-called News programmes full of it. Hope most of your guests have respect for you and stick around.


  • #5
    Rosy Posy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Rosy Posy


    Change the day and lose your deposit- better to forfeit a little now than spend a load and be disappointed by being upstaged by the football. No, not everyone will want to see it but enough will- there's no way you can not have it on, or people will sneak off to watch it/listen to it on the radio and their mood and the conversation for the rest of the day will be influenced by the outcome. I feel much the same as you about spectator sports and I know that I couldn't stand to have my wedding day overshadowed in this way. You (hopefully) only get once chance at being a bride, and you don't want to look back with regrets.


  • #6
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭santana75


    I dont get why you're so angry. If something like this sets you off then you must have a really short fuse. You can't control people like that, if they chose to watch the match then thats their choice.


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  • #7
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    If its a classy place they probably wont have tv's available/ the match on...


  • #8
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Football is so below my radar that I wouldnt even know if I had arranged something for the day a match was on!!

    Im not sure what the big issue is though, surely the wedding will be church, drinks reception, sit down meal, dancing - if its a classy venue then the match wont be available to watch at the drinks reception or sit down meal/dancing? Is it that you think people will go off elsewhere for the duration of it? If they do they do, you have no control over that.

    So long as the venue wont be blaring it out I wouldnt worry.

    My memory of my 21st is indeed pretty much the entire group glued to a Mike Tyson fight that was on that night - but it wasnt a classy venue, it was just the local pub!!


  • #9
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    OP, you really need to just get over it and move on. You cannot tell your guests what to do. I mean some of your guests might not even go to your wedding as they will be travelling to Poland instead to attend the actual game.

    Regardless of if it's a five star venue or not, there will still be TVs in the place so guests can duck out and watch the match if they so choose. I mean you don't appreciate football, take some time to realise that Euro 2012 is a pretty big deal to those who do love football.

    You need to control your anger and cop onto yourself. If you want your guests to be happy, then perhaps you could organise a tv to be in the reception room once the music starts as that will be the same time the match starts presumably so at least your guests can still watch it but won't have to leave the reception room.

    Besides, at the end of the day, you should be delighted that people want to share the special day with you and are attending. In the whole scheme of things, even if they do want to go watch the match it's only 2 hours out of the whole day. You'll get over it.


  • #10
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    tinkerbell wrote: »
    perhaps you could organise a tv to be in the reception room once the music starts as that will be the same time the match starts presumably so at least your guests can still watch it but won't have to leave the reception room.

    Ah now - tacky central..... OP just ask the hotel to keep all tv's off. If your guests really want to watch it then they can just refuse the invite.


  • #11
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    I am a friend wrote: »
    Ah now - tacky central..... OP just ask the hotel to keep all tv's off. If your guests really want to watch it then they can just refuse the invite.

    If the OP would prefer to have her guests all still in the reception room, then perhaps it is an option for her rather than the guests randomly throughout the hotel.

    If there are TVs in the bar/lounge of the hotel and switched off, guests will be annoyed if they aren't on - I think it's a bit much to ask the hotel to keep the TVs off. Besides, the guests can always go up to their bedrooms to watch the match on the TV in the room.

    It was just a suggestion to her problem. Some people might think it tacky, others might actually see it as a better idea than having guests spread out all over the place.


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  • #12
    orchidsrpretty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,147 ✭✭✭orchidsrpretty


    I was at a wedding last month where the last Ireland match was being played. While people were waiting to go in for dinner there was a TV discreetly put in the corner of the room for the people who wanted to watch the match. It was no big deal, the people watching did not interfere with the people who had no intrest, they were aware of where they were and weren't shouting at the TV or anything.

    There was also people who were watching it during the meal on their smartphones. Again, not really a big deal, they were being quiet about it!\

    Its sucks just a little bit, but don't worry too much about it. People won't be leaving your wedding just to watch a football match they they can catch later or get up to the minute info on their phones


  • #13
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I really don't see what the problem is. I hate soccer but its universally popular and people in this country are incredibly excited to see it. I think your going to leave a very bad taste in most people's mouths if you try to ensure that the game is not shown. Its pretty selfish, I know its your wedding day but the game is only 90 minutes and most of your guests will really want to watch it.


  • #14
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Op,
    at the height of the 1994 world cup I was a guest at a wedding on the same day as Ireland were playing someone*

    There was a mass exodus to the hotel bar to watch it. There were a few auld wans left inside the reception hall with the bride. The groom was out in the thick of it with his mates.

    Your best bet is to work with it - let the atmosphere lend itself to adding to the great day. Get the hotel to bring in screens for the match, move the timing of the meal if you need to, organise some fun bets for tables. For the 90 mins, out of a very long day, its not much, but if guests go to the hotel bar instead to watch the matches, they will also hang around for the commentary, and the atmosphere and craic. Keep it in the reception room if you can.


    (*you can tell I'm not a soccer fan huh?)


  • #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm no football fan really, but I would watch Ireland in Euro 2012.

    Looking at the dates of the games, you've booked in on a Thursday - so you're putting people out who are taking a day off work (and the Friday too presumably) - but hey, that's your choice.

    Secondly, they will only watch the one game, the Irish game. It will take from beginning to end and hour and three quarters.(45+45+15). Figure out the time of the game and organise around it. I run events and if there's a big game on, I start later than I normally would.

    Or to be honest, if the game is clashing with the start of your meal, your guests will, if they are good friends, sit through it and miss the game.

    I was at a Christening party at my bro's place a few years back. Ireland were playing a massive rugby game. He didn't want have the match on in his house on the day. We told him, including my dad, that we would be watching the game elsewhere so. He turned the tv on, it made no difference to the day and everyone was happy (except my bro and his wife). It actually encouraged the guests to get together and engage with each other, more so than a polite glass of champagne ever would).

    A game is a great way of pulling people together on the day - a lot of times at weddings people are arseing around from the time they leave the church until the meal. If it's a Saturday game and they;re an hour ahead in Poland (at the mo, two hours during the summer), you might find that it fit perfectly in before the meal.

    Remember though, it's your big day, no one else's. No one really cares about it as it's just a day out for your guests.

    So I would suggest that you acknowledge to your guests that the football is on - even somewhere in the invite and that you'll be making a room available for people to watch it but that You are making an exception for the Irish game but not the other game.

    I'd check the start time of the game and see how that works out for you.


  • #16
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I do love footie but I'd also be of the opinion that you are fighting a loosing battle trying to control or corral your guests away from a big game they are interested in watching. Perhaps theme the tables and bring screens in to watch the Ireland game only and do something fun during the game for those not interested in watching - that way most will only watch the one game and nobody will get lost/stay at whatever bar they find the game on at....maybe try getting it to work in your favour as a positive and something unique that guests will remember?


  • #17
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Absolutely agree with Ickle

    I wouldn't miss the match for anything....you would be mad to ban screens from showing it....50% of your guests will go somewhere else.

    Get a big screen in....it's only two hours long. Two hours out of the whole day isn't much at all.


  • #18
    Mighty_Mouse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭Mighty_Mouse


    There will never be a world without sport. Get over it.


  • #19
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    Ever heard the saying ........................ if you can't beat them, join them?

    You can allow yourself to be swallowed up by annoyance and anger at this 'intrusion' into your big day. And then spend 90 mins of that day in a huff, while simultaneously annoying your football loving guests who want to watch that one match.

    Alternatively .................. you could try and watch just a little football and try to develope a mild interest, so on the day in question you can actually sit and have a beer with your friends while the match is on. Or even just poke your head in now and again to see how they're going. Whether you watch it or not is irrelevant really, it's the fact that you'll be engaging with your friends as opposed to working against them - and this will probably leave you in a better mood on the day. Which is ultimately the end goal (no pun intended).


  • #20
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    Raging! wrote: »
    We've booked a classy place, intentionally avoiding a Saturday wedding as that would mean the regular saturation soccer coverage would split the guests..

    bummer, especially as there would have been no soccer on saturdays in June, the season finishes in May.


  • #21
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Mighty_Mouse banned for a week for failing to take heed of the warnings during their last holiday.

    As per [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]the forum charter[/URL], please reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner.

    Many thanks


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  • #22
    Mr. Mac
    Registered Users Posts: 42 ✭Mr. Mac


    Understand your concerns but you gotta deal with it. My advice is to embrace it and involve the match in your day. If its a classy place then speak to the venue about options. You can call the shots.

    If you dont do anything and avoid the match then alot of people will be absent from your big day. this is going to happen.

    If you do most people will remember your day for many reasons.

    Its not a soccer culture that will be interested in this summers games - it will be the vast majority of the country.
    With the way things are we need a lift so its important that you embrace it and dont go against it.


  • #23
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    I am a friend wrote: »
    Ah now - tacky central..... OP just ask the hotel to keep all tv's off. If your guests really want to watch it then they can just refuse the invite.
    Jim Royal wrote: »
    Absolutely agree with Ickle

    I wouldn't miss the match for anything....you would be mad to ban screens from showing it....50% of your guests will go somewhere else.

    Get a big screen in....it's only two hours long. Two hours out of the whole day isn't much at all.

    This is exactly it. If there is nowhere to watch the match in the wedding venue, they will simply go to the pub down the road. And may take their sweet time coming back, - so how will you feel if you feed them, then they scarper before the speeches and there is no-one to dance to the band you have spent a nice packet on, staggering in later on for the finger food and late drinks?

    Its been 20 odd years since Ireland have qualified for the European Championships according to my other half, (1988 to be exact) so its a pretty big deal. To the vast majority of Irish men the choice between your big day, and Trappatonis is obvious.

    Are you the Bride? how does the Groom feel about this?


  • #24
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,384 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    It's a very good point that another poster made about the day being the biggest day of your life... but for everyone else, it's just a day out!

    I know you don't want soccer involved in anyway... but if you insist on that, then maybe you need to plan for a much smaller wedding than you originally planned. And I think if you are going to insist that the match will not be available anywhere in the venue, then you need to let people know that before they accept your invitation.

    Does it have to be a summer wedding? If you want your perfect day, with no interruptions to your plans, then as you say the best solution is to change your date. September? April? May?

    If you dig your heels in for the sake of "It's my day", then expect people to stay away and have their own day, the way they like it!


  • #25
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    I hate football as well.

    But as an adult I understand I cannot control other people. I can only control myself.

    So I would just enjoy my day with my guests. If some guests went off to watch tv I'd enjoy my day with the guests who don't go.

    Tbh I think you are over reacting op.


  • #26
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    I don't want to attack you and I hope you've calmed down. Two things from your initial post made me think "Bridezilla". I'm assuming you're a woman. Or if not, Groomzilla :D
    People screaming at tv screens for hours (and it is about 4-5 hours) when they are invited to share our special day is just too much.
    Be careful not to get too carried away with how other people perceive your wedding day. As the person above me pointed out, while the day's important to you, it's not going to mean anything near as much to them. It's just another wedding and to be honest, they can be exercises in endurance.
    Does anybody have any suggestions on how to avoid a mass exodus of guests to TV land during this day?
    You don't. Unless you intend to lock everyone into the room and confiscate everyone's phones.

    As everyone here has said, either you move the date or you accept that a large number of your wedding guests will want to see the game. They will see it, make no mistake about it. Neyite's scenario is a distinct possibility as is the one of people gathering in the bar or in hotel rooms to watch it there. If you don't want to move the date at this stage, let people know that they will have the opportunity to watch the Ireland game on TV in the venue. At least then you won't have guests trying to work out escape plans or ways to see the game.


  • #27
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Isn't the match on at 7.45pm or something? Your guests will be eating at that time, presuming your meal is at the standard 6pm and you have speeches during the meal. Nobody misses the meal at a wedding, if only because they'll be bloody starving from having been stood about from 11am that morning ;)


  • #28
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    People are gonna watch the match no matter what.

    Glastonbury has been regularly interrupted by football matches, so your wedding is gonna be no different.

    You cannot beat this, so I would suggest join it.

    Lay on a big screen, lots of nice finger food, maybe a free drink or two. Like I said, it's two hours including half time. People won't be arsed watching the other group match, only big time footie fans. Most will only be interested in the result.

    So two hours, after the dinner and before the dancing. Wouldn't it be amazing if in years to come people remember the match as being at your wedding, when the bride and groom made a big fuss of the match and it was so memorable?

    That's the approach I would take. Once the game is over, people will be nicely tipsy, so get the DJ to bang on "Put Em Under Pressure" and then relax into your excellent night.

    It will be the greatest wedding ever if you do it right.


  • #29
    Blatter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭Blatter


    Maybe you should consider getting counselling to help deal with you unnatural and unhealthy hatred of soccer.

    It's the most popular sport in the world and Irish people are going to be desperate to see their team compete at Euro 2012. You might not like it, but the reality is that most of your guests will probably be thinking about, and looking more forward to the Ireland game than your wedding and you need to understand that there is nothing at all wrong with that.

    You have three choices here.

    1- Change the venue. You may lose your deposit but that will be the price you pay for booking your wedding on a date during an international football tournament when there was a possibility Ireland would be playing at it. You or your OH may not have known that, but that's just tough.

    2- Go ahead with the wedding and get over it. Let people attend the wedding and watch the match. Make sure to accommodate these people with widescreen TVs, food during the game etc. as the match will be a big event in Irish sporting history. As I said, the majority of your guests will care much more about the match than your wedding.

    3- Make an effort to obstruct people watching it by timing the meal or the actual wedding for during the match. This will insure several of your guests resent you, and many may not turn up to the wedding at all or even leave early to watch the match.


    The options are obvious, and obviously people will tell you to avoid option number three but it's up to you decide at the end of the day.


  • #30
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Blatter wrote: »
    You might not like it, but the reality is that most of your guests will probably be thinking about, and looking more forward to the Ireland game than your wedding and you need to understand that there is nothing at all wrong with that.

    Er, what? MOST people are not more concerned with soccer than their friends or family, or at least, most of the people I know aren't. I wouldn't be too long in a friendship with someone who put a soccer match before one of the happiest events of my life, tbh. It's just a game, it can be recorded and watched later. The wedding cannot.

    That said, I don't think the OP should ban the watching of the match at the wedding. I just think that friends & family are more important than football, and anyone with a modicum of basic respect would forego the match to attend the wedding of their friend or family member.


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  • #31
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Here's another idea.

    It's a bit sexist, but if we say that it'll be mostly lads watching the footie, why not make the two hours it's on for the women....good cheesy dance around the handbag music

    You get the idea...!

    It's like when RTE1 show a big football match, they always show a rom-com on RTE2!


  • #32
    woodoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    The match is on at 7:45pm btw. Should not be a problem i'd say. Bring a screen in for it. And let them know in advance it will be shown otherwise you will end up with a lot of no shows.


  • #33
    woodoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Er, what? MOST people are not more concerned with soccer than their friends or family, or at least, most of the people I know aren't. I wouldn't be too long in a friendship with someone who put a soccer match before one of the happiest events of my life, tbh. It's just a game, it can be recorded and watched later. The wedding cannot. .

    If its the typical 200 to 300 guest wedding then alot will not be very close friends or family and will be more interested in the football.

    I speak as a soccer fan and i am like a child already about the Euro 2012 tournament. I can't wait. I hope the OP's wedding goes well but she is fighting a losing battle regarding this match. I'd imagine more than half the men will want to see it and a fair few women too.


  • #34
    Blatter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭Blatter


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Er, what? MOST people are not more concerned with soccer than their friends or family, or at least, most of the people I know aren't. I wouldn't be too long in a friendship with someone who put a soccer match before one of the happiest events of my life, tbh. It's just a game, it can be recorded and watched later. The wedding cannot.

    That said, I don't think the OP should ban the watching of the match at the wedding. I just think that friends & family are more important than football, and anyone with a modicum of basic respect would forego the match to attend the wedding of their friend or family member.

    As the above poster said, if it's a typical 200-300 person type wedding, most wouldn't be 'close' family and would be more interested in the match.

    And it wouldn't be ideal for people to just record it and watch it later. This isn't like an 'unmissable' episode of Coronation Street, A lot of the guests will have been looking forward to the match for months and months, like a child at Christmas and simply just would not miss it under any circumstances.

    And with regards to close friends and family caring more about the wedding than the match; are you sure about that? It would seem to me that a lot of people view weddings as a session and a general excuse to get píssed with the added bonus of a bit of grub rather than value the morals of the actual wedding.


  • #35
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Blatter wrote: »

    And with regards to close friends and family caring more about the wedding than the match; are you sure about that? It would seem to me that a lot of people view weddings as a session and a general excuse to get píssed with the added bonus of a bit of grub rather than value the morals of the actual wedding.

    Lol, I'm pretty sure yeah. I'm not talking about morals or religion, I'm talking about me being a living breathing person that my family and friends know and love and have done for many years, celebrating a once-in-a-lifetime occasion versus 90 minutes of men you've never met playing a football match in a tournament that happens every four years. I don't see how they are even on the same plane of existence, relevance-wise.

    I have absolutely nothing against football, honestly. But to me, you might as well say they should DEFINITELY put on X-Factor or the Late Late Toy Show because it's really important and people will be dying to watch it and it's not fair on them to miss it because they'd have been looking forward to it for ages. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter one tiny bit. If you're put out about missing a football match because you're attending the wedding of a friend, then they must not be a very close friend, in my opinion.

    There is nothing I wouldn't skip or miss or reschedule or work around to celebrate something like that with a close friend. No TV show, sporting occasion, work commitment... I literally can't think of anything in the world I'd be put out about missing in order to attend a family or friend's special occasion. I'm not saying that to brag, just to illustrate my general view.

    That's why I just find it baffling that some people think that a football match is somehow more important than the wedding of a friend. Like, that just does not enter the realm of sense for me. But that's me.

    OP, my guess is that you have invited a lot of guests to your wedding, perhaps some that don't know you very well and won't feel it rude to watch the match or keep up to date with it. Given the situation, there's not much you can do but try not to let that ruin your day. You can't control the actions of others, you can only control yourself and how you feel. So spend the time between now and then remembering that those who matter won't be thinking about the football -- they'll be laughing, drinking and celebrating with you on you & your partner's special day. And that's the best you can wish for!


  • #36
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    shellyboo wrote: »
    That's why I just find it baffling that some people think that a football match is somehow more important than the wedding of a friend. Like, that just does not enter the realm of sense for me. But that's me.

    It's not just a football match. It's Ireland's fifth major football tournament ever.

    Anyone over 30 will remember Italia '90 and USA' 94 with more detail than any wedding they've ever been to.

    This is a massive event in the country's sporting history, even more so now with the dreadful economy and employment.

    These events can bring a country together and make people feel proud to be Irish, something a lot of people haven't felt for a long, long time.

    It's not X-Factor.

    As I said, I would not miss one of the matches for the world.


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  • #37
    silly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    I feel your pain.

    You can do one of 2 things here.

    Not accommodate people who want to watch the match ( looks like it will be starting while ye are eating? Roughly). If you don't accommodate people who really want to watch it, they will be in and out to the bar between courses to watch it.

    Accommodate the soccer fans, as much you are against it, but they are your guests so you need to tend to their needs also. I.e you wouldnt serve liver at your wedding, even though you might love it, you know that alot of your guests might not.
    Have a tv in the reception room. Volume off. People will watch it and stay in the room while they eat.
    You can ask hotel staff to make sure people don't gather around the tv, ask them to remain seated while the meal is going on.

    I only got married 2 months ago and one of our groomsmen told us he was going to a match the day of our wedding!! He wasnt even playing! He would miss most if the meal. Thankfully someone talked some sense into him.


  • #38
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Honestly when I hear some people are getting married and I might have to go, I despair a little. Really don't like weddings and the whole idea of it just means nothing to me really, I know many people with similar views.

    However, Ireland in the Euros? I haven't been this excited since I was a schoolboy. Even if it was my own brother getting married I'd have him rearrange it. I'm sorry OP, Ireland in the Euros means far more to most guests than your wedding ceremony, that's the reality.


  • #39
    ShooterSF
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    Just to comment on "the match can be recorded ", technically yes it can but it would be like not going to a wedding and watching the recording instead. The whole point of big tournaments is you get to share in the edge of the seat emotions with those around you.

    Op it sounds like you want people to like what you do (classical music etc.) but we all have different tastes. You can plan a day you would love and ask others to deal with it or plan a day for all to enjoy and get happier guests. That doesn't mean you can't have the things you want too, but it would be extremely selfish to expect others to forfeit something they enjoy to be in your company while you put on what you enjoy.

    I hope that doesn't sound too mean.


  • #40
    Squiggler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    I'm not a soccer fan, at all... BUT, and there is a but. This isn't ordinary soccer. This goes beyond that. It's about natioal pride. I remember the "glory" days of Irish football back in the 90's. Watching the matches in between exams. It could be another 20 years before we qualify again.

    I know you have spent a great deal of time and money planning your big day, I've been there. You obsess for months about the tiniest details and freak out about what might go wrong... and when you've almost driven yourself and everyone else crazy you wake up and realise that you're not even looking forward to it anymore.

    A wedding is (or should be) about sharing and celebrating a change in your life with the people that matter to you. It should not be a Hollywood production. If your guests are uncomfortable and incommoded you're doing it wrong. You have a chance to make the wedding extra special if you play your cards right.

    I'm not saying you should change your colour scheme to Green, White and Gold, but you could have someone organised to provide score updates during the evening... and having a screen somewhere for people to watch doesn't seem an entirely bad thing. I've been to receptions where half the guests end up sitting in the lobby anyway (usually because they either want to talk or want to escape the racket of the band/dj).

    If you manage to graciously incorporate the game into your wedding you might actually achieve a more lasting memory of your big day in peoples minds than you would if there wasn't a game.

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do and I wish you many happy years of married life.


  • #41
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    ShooterSF wrote: »
    Just to comment on "the match can be recorded ", technically yes it can but it would be like not going to a wedding and watching the recording instead. The whole point of big tournaments is you get to share in the edge of the seat emotions with those around you.


    And a wedding is somehow NOT about sharing the emotions of those around you? If you're not *at the match* you're not sharing anyone's emotions except the dude sitting beside you at the bar, or on your sofa.

    Can you not feel national pride just by hearing that they've won? Can you not feel national pride by watching the match later, having known the score on the day? If it's so super important to watch the match live, would you not be better off skipping the wedding altogether instead of hijacking the OP & partner's day with your own personal hobby, no matter how popular that hobby may be?

    As for "it's not the X Factor", it's on the same level for me, and for plenty of other people. People performing on TV is people performing on TV, as far as I'm concerned. What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.

    I just really, really, really do not get this attitude of football as being more important than the people in your life. At all. It's like an alien concept to me. So I won't say any more except to say OP, you're not alone. I get it!


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  • #42
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    shellyboo wrote: »
    And a wedding is somehow NOT about sharing the emotions of those around you? If you're not *at the match* you're not sharing anyone's emotions except the dude sitting beside you at the bar, or on your sofa.

    Can you not feel national pride just by hearing that they've won? Can you not feel national pride by watching the match later, having known the score on the day? If it's so super important to watch the match live, would you not be better off skipping the wedding altogether instead of hijacking the OP & partner's day with your own personal hobby, no matter how popular that hobby may be?

    As for "it's not the X Factor", it's on the same level for me, and for plenty of other people. People performing on TV is people performing on TV, as far as I'm concerned. What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.

    I just really, really, really do not get this attitude of football as being more important than the people in your life. At all. It's like an alien concept to me. So I won't say any more except to say OP, you're not alone. I get it!

    You just don't understand, call me sad, but I've few better memories than Ireland beating Italy in '94. Weddings pale in comparison. I don't like weddings, a lot of people don't!


  • #43
    ILikeBananas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 785 ✭✭✭ILikeBananas


    shellyboo wrote: »
    What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.

    If you think like that then you're never going to understand.

    I don't think the OP should test people by giving them an ultimatum on the day as she might not be very happy with the outcome.

    The best single collective moment I've ever experienced in any pub, gig or celebration was that euphoric instant when Robbie Keane scored the last minute equaliser against Germany at the 2002 world cup. The whole thing only lasted maybe for 20 seconds but at that moment it was as if the entire group was experiencing the peak of some wonderful drug.

    That memory is going to be in the back of a lot of people's heads on that day. Nobody who experienced that wants to miss out on something similar happening again.

    So that's the mentality that you're dealing with. I appreciate that you can't understand it but don't make the mistake of testing your guests because it's a lose lose situation for you.


  • #44
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    BraziliaNZ wrote: »
    You just don't understand, call me sad, but I've few better memories than Ireland beating Italy in '94. Weddings pale in comparison. I don't like weddings, a lot of people don't!

    Well obviously I don't understand, but also you don't understand my point of view or the OP's! :) I don't think it's sad, per se... like I said, I have nothing against football! I just understand how the OP feels, and how he/she may be annoyed and hurt that the day has to be shared with this event that means nothing to them, when the wedding means a lot. That's all.

    While everyone is telling the OP to be more understanding, I just think it's important to be understanding of the OP's feelings as well, given that it is their wedding. Just really don't want the OP to feel like they're the only person on the planet who feels the way they do!


    EDIT: @ILikeBananas, I agree as it happens. Don't make it an either-or scenario, compromise is definitely necessary here. Just trying to give a bit of perspective. Some people think football is important, others don't. Nobody is wrong, nobody's opinion is better... but when you're at the most important day of someone who doesn't care about football's life and you're more excited about the football than the wedding, please understand how that could be hurtful and frustrating for that person. Compromise and compassion is needed on BOTH sides, not just the OP's!


  • #45
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Well obviously I don't understand, but also you don't understand my point of view or the OP's! :) I don't think it's sad, per se... like I said, I have nothing against football! I just understand how the OP feels, and how he/she may be annoyed and hurt that the day has to be shared with this event that means nothing to them, when the wedding means a lot. That's all.

    While everyone is telling the OP to be more understanding, I just think it's important to be understanding of the OP's feelings as well, given that it is their wedding. Just really don't want the OP to feel like they're the only person on the planet who feels the way they do!


    EDIT: @ILikeBananas, I agree as it happens. Don't make it an either-or scenario, compromise is definitely necessary here. Just trying to give a bit of perspective. Some people think football is important, others don't. Nobody is wrong, nobody's opinion is better... but when you're at the most important day of someone who doesn't care about football's life and you're more excited about the football than the wedding, please understand how that could be hurtful and frustrating for that person. Compromise and compassion is needed on BOTH sides, not just the OP's!

    If it's such a big deal she needs to rearrange the date I think


  • #46
    Davidth88
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭Davidth88


    I am with the roll with it camp.

    I would arrange facilities for people to watch the game etc.

    I actually got married in 1996 , we were very careful to make sure our wedding didn't clash with Euro 96 just in case .


    Enjoy the day


  • #47
    Dolbert
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    Can you just have the meal early, say 4:30 or 5pm, so that it'll be well over by the 7:45pm kick-off? You could have a screen in one corner so people won't have to leave the function room (or duck out of their meal). Then have the band start at 9pm, everybody's happy!


  • #48
    woodoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    shellyboo wrote: »
    As for "it's not the X Factor", it's on the same level for me, and for plenty of other people. People performing on TV is people performing on TV, as far as I'm concerned. What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.!

    The x factor is on every week for 3 months every year. Ireland in the Euros hasn't happened in 23 years.

    As for your comment about guests may as well not go to the wedding. That is a very real possibly for quite a few i'd imagine if they hear they will not be allowed watch the match.


  • #49
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Several people here are making the assumption that the OP is female.

    As a man, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any soccer match. As an aside, aren't most of the 'Irish' team English anyway?

    Be that as it may, the OP should not change any details or arrangements for their wedding. Go ahead and enjoy the day. Make no special arrangements to have the match shown. If the venue are going to have screens available, just make a request that they are not on during the meal and especially during the speeches. I was at a wedding where there was some match on during the speeches and there was cheering and noises at entirely the wrong parts. The bride was livid.


  • #50
    Hank Scorpio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,631 ✭✭✭✭Hank Scorpio


    NotASoccerFan wrote: »

    As a man, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any soccer match. As an aside, aren't most of the 'Irish' team English anyway?

    The only "English player" in our main starting eleven is Sean St Ledger, and his grandfather is from Carlow


  • #51
    Blatter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭Blatter


    NotASoccerFan wrote: »
    Several people here are making the assumption that the OP is female.

    As a man, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any soccer match. As an aside, aren't most of the 'Irish' team English anyway?

    Be that as it may, the OP should not change any details or arrangements for their wedding. Go ahead and enjoy the day. Make no special arrangements to have the match shown. If the venue are going to have screens available, just make a request that they are not on during the meal and especially during the speeches. I was at a wedding where there was some match on during the speeches and there was cheering and noises at entirely the wrong parts. The bride was livid.


    Great advice for the OP.

    That's if the OP want a large percentage of her guests to hate her guts.


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