The Breast Feeding Support Thread

How Strange · 17-07-2014 7:34am

ncmc I wouldn't worry if the nappy output is good however I wouldn't let her just loll on the nipple at this early stage. I'd still be quite vigilant with the latch so if she's losing interest take her off, try again and if she's still not interested leave it for a while. She may be just gearing up for the 6 week spurt which is quite an intense feeding period. Don't make too many plans around the time it's due as feeding her and you getting lots of rest are the most important things.

Sligo1 · 17-07-2014 9:18am

4 month growth spurt and sleep regression here! Boooo! The last 3 nights have been awful and I'm dosed with the head cold. I'm so wrecked feeding her but then I look at her and she scrunches up her face and smiles at 5am and I can't help thinking how cute she is... But please don't let it last too much longer...

Sligo1 · 20-07-2014 9:44am

So after a week of hell and Lilly being really unsettled My family are telling me to put Lilly on bottles of formula. Event husband now is getting ratty and saying she would be in a far better routine if she was on 6 bottles a day. Dunno what to do. I'm the only one that wants to keep going but it's really stressful when you know you don't have the support of others. The whole house is awake at night the last week and its not fair on anyone. I don't know what the right think to do is. I don't want to jack in the breast feeding. I love it. And Lilly loves it. Just have everyone telling me life would be so much easier for me and everyone if she was in bottles. And that she would get into a good routine very quickly. I don't know what to do. Even my husband who has been so supportive is now saying it

RentDayBlues · 20-07-2014 9:54am

Sligo1 wrote: »

So after a week of hell and Lilly being really unsettled My family are telling me to put Lilly on bottles of formula. Event husband now is getting ratty and saying she would be in a far better routine if she was on 6 bottles a day. Dunno what to do. I'm the only one that wants to keep going but it's really stressful when you know you don't have the support of others. The whole house is awake at night the last week and its not fair on anyone. I don't know what the right think to do is. I don't want to jack in the breast feeding. I love it. And Lilly loves it. Just have everyone telling me life would be so much easier for me and everyone if she was in bottles. And that she would get into a good routine very quickly. I don't know what to do. Even my husband who has been so supportive is now saying it

Sligo1, from what I remember your little one has been sleeping really well until the 4 month regression? It will pass, I say that as someone who has just had it for 3 weeks and it was hell, never experienced it on my first.

My little one has finally come out of it and is getting back into a really good pattern.

No one can make you stop breastfeeding if it's what you want for your baby. The lack of support you're receiving is sad. Formula is not the magic answer everyone seems to think it is, what would they suggest if you switched to formula and the sleeplessness continued?

I know it's so hard to keep going when you're not sleeping and you're the only one who can feed the baby, it almost resulted in divorce here! You can do it, if you set your mind to it, you'll get through this. But if you decide to stop, do it because you decide not because others are forcing you.

kandr10 · 20-07-2014 10:21am

Sligo1 wrote: »

So after a week of hell and Lilly being really unsettled My family are telling me to put Lilly on bottles of formula. Event husband now is getting ratty and saying she would be in a far better routine if she was on 6 bottles a day. Dunno what to do. I'm the only one that wants to keep going but it's really stressful when you know you don't have the support of others. The whole house is awake at night the last week and its not fair on anyone. I don't know what the right think to do is. I don't want to jack in the breast feeding. I love it. And Lilly loves it. Just have everyone telling me life would be so much easier for me and everyone if she was in bottles. And that she would get into a good routine very quickly. I don't know what to do. Even my husband who has been so supportive is now saying it

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of it Sligo! I second what rent says. You can't stop because others want you to if you and your little girl are happy. I know of a few people who gave up breastfeeding in the hopes of getting more sleep and it didn't work. It's not necessarily a cure all.
If your oh was saying to give it up in reaction to tiredness etc he might not have meant it as harshly as it sounded. Maybe if you try talking it through you could come up with a plan of action. If there was some way for you to alternate the night feeds between thd two of you by pumping so one of you gets a few hours uninterrupted a few nights? If you didn't want to pump would you consider a bottle for the night feed even just one or two nights a week to get a bit of rest?
I'm sure if you explained why you don't want to stop your oh would be back on board. It's hard to discuss these things properly when you're so wrecked.
As rent says, it will pass anyway and you'll see routine coming back.
Hope you get something worked out. Here's a smiley

How Strange · 20-07-2014 10:29am

Sligo1 that's such a shame that you're having to fight to continue breastfeeding. Formula really isn't the silver bullet. Unfortunately in Ireland you're fighting against a cultural mindset that believes formula is normal and breastfeeding is a bit strange so every time a breastfed baby is unsettled, doesn't sleep well, makes strange whatever the formula solution will be suggested.

Continue if you want to but you need to talk to your partner as it's very difficult without his support. Some babies are affected by 4 month regression and others aren't. Formula most likely won't stop her waking as she's not waking from hunger. It's developmental.

It's a phase and it does pass. Perhaps try explaining to your partner that it's like when an adult has had a terrible day in work or has a big project coming up that's worrying them. They find their brain going ninety to the dozen in the wee hours and they just can't sleep. That's what's going in with your daughter. She's learning all sorts of new skills but her brain has to learn them first before she can physically do them.

Thre are so many health benefits to continuing breastfeeding and zero health and nutritional benefits to switching to formula by comparison. Try talking to your partner and explain this. It's so stressful when everyone is sleep deprived. We've been through it twice and we've been at each other's throats so many times.

Sorry for the long essay but hopefully you'll work through this and everything will settle down soon

Bagheera · 20-07-2014 11:51am

Sligo1 I just want to empathise as I had to listen to the exact same sort of stuff from everyone. We got through the 4 month sleep regression which was hell, and we're just coming out of a 6 month growth spurt which was even worse! Each time I was very close to giving up on feeding especially as most people around me aren't very supportive. However you don't want to do anything you'll regret, so only change to formula if it's what you truly want. Don't do it just because others are pressuring you; it's not like they are the ones getting up at night with your baby (apart from your partner of course).

Two things that kept me going through it were that I knew my boob would settle my son back to sleep very quickly, and if I didn't have that to rely on anymore it was going to make my life a lot more difficult. The other was some wise words 'the nights are long but the years are short'. Those words gave me great comfort for some reason.

contrary_mary · 20-07-2014 5:53pm

Sligo1 wrote: »

So after a week of hell and Lilly being really unsettled My family are telling me to put Lilly on bottles of formula. Event husband now is getting ratty and saying she would be in a far better routine if she was on 6 bottles a day. Dunno what to do. I'm the only one that wants to keep going but it's really stressful when you know you don't have the support of others. The whole house is awake at night the last week and its not fair on anyone. I don't know what the right think to do is. I don't want to jack in the breast feeding. I love it. And Lilly loves it. Just have everyone telling me life would be so much easier for me and everyone if she was in bottles. And that she would get into a good routine very quickly. I don't know what to do. Even my husband who has been so supportive is now saying it

I've just switched my little boy to formula in the last week as I got some bad medical news so i was told to wean him asap so that i could start treatment. For all the time I was breastfeeding everyone told me he would sleep better on formula - does he heck! He doesn't take 6 big feeds - sure he's used to feeding on demand so he takes a few oz as he needs them and many feeds as ever. He's still waking up to feed just as much. At the moment I'm still giving him a bit of boob in the early hours of the morning as he wakes frequently for a quick snack and some comfort - once I stop completely in the next few days I'm not sure how I'll manage! I'm mithered sterilising and making up bottles.

Stick with it - it will settle again. My heart is broken when he cuddles into me looking for the boob and I can't give it to him, honestly I just cry every time. It's the loveliest thing in the world feeding them, enjoy it!

Sligo1 · 20-07-2014 5:54pm

RentDayBlues wrote: »

Sligo1, from what I remember your little one has been sleeping really well until the 4 month regression? It will pass, I say that as someone who has just had it for 3 weeks and it was hell, never experienced it on my first.

My little one has finally come out of it and is getting back into a really good pattern.

No one can make you stop breastfeeding if it's what you want for your baby. The lack of support you're receiving is sad. Formula is not the magic answer everyone seems to think it is, what would they suggest if you switched to formula and the sleeplessness continued?

I know it's so hard to keep going when you're not sleeping and you're the only one who can feed the baby, it almost resulted in divorce here! You can do it, if you set your mind to it, you'll get through this. But if you decide to stop, do it because you decide not because others are forcing you.

Hi guys, firstly thank you to everyone for the replies. It's been really nice reading them and I've found it great support from those going through or who have been through the same thing. My son didnt really have a bad 4 month sleep regression and although breast fed he took a formula bottle at night. So this has really knocked us for 6.

Basically rentaday yea Lilly was a great little sleeper. There was a couple weeks where she'd go down around 10.30pm and sleep till 6am! But most of the time she will only wake once during the night around 3 or 4am and I would have breast fed her to sleep and she'd sleep till around 8. Not a bother there.

So for the last while when we've been trying to introduce a bottle of EBM she takes longer to settle has more wind etc... But she really needs to be able to take a bottle so I can have a bit of a life aswell. So since she's been taking EBM the last feed at night she seems to be waking earlier or taking longer to put down. This had coincided with the 4 month regression phase so I'm not sure what to blame!!?? The bottle or the regression? Husband has also been giving her a bottle of EBM at the 4am waking to prepare for when my mum needs to take her over night in August so she will be able to settle with someone else other than me feeding her. But it's taking an hour and half to do this and for her to finally settle. The last 3 nights I've ended up having to come in and settle her. And husband has to be up at 8am for work and we also have a 20month old so it's all just proving really difficult. I've feed her myself for the first 4 months and its been a pleasure... She's no problem. It just seems to be now with the bottles it's turning into a nightmare and now she's waking more. Last night it was every 2 hours. I think that's why husband is blaming the combination of breastfeeding, expressing, bottle feeding. He thinks I should just stick to one thing... But his opinion is it should be bottles. He's usually really supportive I just think he sees me tired and it also frustrates him that he can't settle her himself when he's like to be able to.

We're staying in Sligo with my mum at the moment which is prob making things a little more stressful as I hate to wake her. She's brilliant and was all for bfing... But I think she just sees how tired I've been up all night and she's also worried my 20 month old wont be getting as much attention due to me ring tired or whatever.

I think over the next couple days I'm gonna have a big think. I know I don't want to give it up. But I also need to be firm and sure with want I want to do and be able to convey it assertively. Not going to make any big decisions today

. Thanks again guys for taking the time to reply. I was ready to give up but reading your words has helped me want to stick with it. And bagheera you're totally right about the boob being able to settle her so quickly! I don't know what is do without it

.

Xxx

Sligo1 · 20-07-2014 6:31pm

contrary_mary wrote: »

I've just switched my little boy to formula in the last week as I got some bad medical news so i was told to wean him asap so that i could start treatment. For all the time I was breastfeeding everyone told me he would sleep better on formula - does he heck! He doesn't take 6 big feeds - sure he's used to feeding on demand so he takes a few oz as he needs them and many feeds as ever. He's still waking up to feed just as much. At the moment I'm still giving him a bit of boob in the early hours of the morning as he wakes frequently for a quick snack and some comfort - once I stop completely in the next few days I'm not sure how I'll manage! I'm mithered sterilising and making up bottles.

Stick with it - it will settle again. My heart is broken when he cuddles into me looking for the boob and I can't give it to him, honestly I just cry every time. It's the loveliest thing in the world feeding them, enjoy it!

Just read ur post CM. I hope ur little one is ok? I'm back to my own house on Dublin on Tuesday so will just keep going the next couple days. I would say once back in our own house will be able to clear my head and make a plan. Reading your post really does put things into perspective. I hope u and baby are ok x

contrary_mary · 20-07-2014 9:10pm

Sligo1 wrote: »

Just read ur post CM. I hope ur little one is ok? I'm back to my own house on Dublin on Tuesday so will just keep going the next couple days. I would say once back in our own house will be able to clear my head and make a plan. Reading your post really does put things into perspective. I hope u and baby are ok x

My little man is thriving, not a bother on him thank God! And I'll be fine too, I just need to put myself first in this instance so that I'm able to look after him for many years to come! Thanks for your nice message and best of luck. Hopefully we'll get into some sort of routine at some stage too, if anyone had any tips let me know!

cyning · 20-07-2014 11:46pm

Hope your okay contrary_mary, and if you need help drying up your milk sage (like sage tea) can help, and cabbage leaves? Might be of no use to you but just in case.

Sligo my first little girl just isnt a good sleeper. In fact awful is a better way to describe it! S is amazing. Both are parented the same. In fact S is held more, in slings more but personality wise she is just much, much calmer and more settled despite having bad reflux. I think it just depends on the child.

contrary_mary · 21-07-2014 5:45am

cyning wrote: »

Hope your okay contrary_mary, and if you need help drying up your milk sage (like sage tea) can help, and cabbage leaves? Might be of no use to you but just in case.

Sligo my first little girl just isnt a good sleeper. In fact awful is a better way to describe it! S is amazing. Both are parented the same. In fact S is held more, in slings more but personality wise she is just much, much calmer and more settled despite having bad reflux. I think it just depends on the child.

Thanks, I heard about the cabbage leaves but I'll try the sage too! It's painful! As soon as I dropped a feed I got terribly engorged and despite expressing off a little first I seem to have such an oversupply that he is choking on it and spitting up. As a result I've dropped them quicker than planned and my poor breasts are so sore! I'll be going on the combined pill this week too so the oestrogen should help it dry up.

I also agree on the genetics and sleeping. My LO fell asleep at 9pm and woke for feeds at 11pm, 2am and then stayed awake from 2am until 5am when i feed him again and he's still awake now (5:45), lying in his cot grunting and groaning. I reckon he is several months off sleeping through the night. I'm exhausted.

How Strange · 21-07-2014 7:20am

Mint and peppermint are supposed to dry up milk supply too which is why you're told to avoid peppermint tea etc when breastfeeding.

Sorry to hear you had to give up breastfeeding sooner than you wanted to. I hope you're doing ok and you feel proud that you got this far. It's tough when you have to stop but it's a major achievement to get this far considering constant night feeds, growth spurts etc.
It's further than the majority of mums and babies get.

contrary_mary · 21-07-2014 8:46am

How Strange wrote: »

Mint and peppermint are supposed to dry up milk supply too which is why you're told to avoid peppermint tea etc when breastfeeding.

Sorry to hear you had to give up breastfeeding sooner than you wanted to. I hope you're doing ok and you feel proud that you got this far. It's tough when you have to stop but it's a major achievement to get this far considering constant night feeds, growth spurts etc.
It's further than the majority of mums and babies get.

Thanks. I'll have a cup of peppermint tea with my breakfast as I can't even gold the baby properly this morning with the pain.

Things feel really tough at the moment with sleep deprivation, I'm not sure how much longer I can go on with only a couple of hours sleep a night. He's only 2 months and can stay awake for hours on end and still give me a smile - I've been reading online that the most they can handle is 2 hours awake at a time! Not this guy! But maybe I'm doing it wrong and should try harder to get him to nap during the day?

How Strange · 21-07-2014 11:20am

My son didn't nap either and he'd cat nap for 30-45 mins in the buggy but never at home so we spent a lot of time in the park or shopping centres if it was raining. Unfortunately every baby is different and I used to find it very frustrating to read what he *should* be doing when he was clearly doing the opposite.

Take nurofen for the pain as you're probably inflammed from being enforged. Hand express a little to ease the engorgement as it's not good to get too engorged at this early stage. A hot compress before hand expressing and a cold one after. Be vigilant for any signs of fever as it could indicate blocked ducts or mastitis.

I'd recommend you get in touch with a local ciudiu or la Leche league leader for a chat about how to safely stop feeding. I used to get blocked ducts and mastitis so it's best to chat to an expert about how to avoid both when stopping feeding.

livinsane · 21-07-2014 11:31am

I thought sore nipples were a thing of the early days but between a bad biting phase while cutting the last tooth and maybe lazy latching at night, I am experiencing pain in my right nipple that brings tears to my eyes. It's only when he's latching on thankfully, not bad when he's feeding or any other time. I've dusted off the lansinoh and eyeing up my cabbages in the back garden.

Ode to my right nipple

My right nipple is battered and bruised
Sometimes rejected, sometimes used
He latches on with toe curling pain
Can such a cute baby be to blame

When he feeds from the left, he tweaks the right
Between his fingers with all his might
Sometimes he even takes a bite
And then turns to laugh with sick delight

I fight the temptation to rely on the left
But engorgement and mastitis are a threat
So I soldier on and take the pain
Through clenched teeth and tears like rain*

*exaggeration for rhyming purposes

kandr10 · 21-07-2014 4:22pm

Hilarious livinsan! I'm just starting to experience the tweaking. Good god!
Contrary Mary - Hope you get settled with the new routine and your health improves.
Sligo - Hope you're doing ok too.

Sligo1 · 22-07-2014 9:51pm

contrary_mary wrote: »

Thanks. I'll have a cup of peppermint tea with my breakfast as I can't even gold the baby properly this morning with the pain.

Things feel really tough at the moment with sleep deprivation, I'm not sure how much longer I can go on with only a couple of hours sleep a night. He's only 2 months and can stay awake for hours on end and still give me a smile - I've been reading online that the most they can handle is 2 hours awake at a time! Not this guy! But maybe I'm doing it wrong and should try harder to get him to nap during the day?

MC I hope things have been a bit better for you today?

Sligo1 · 22-07-2014 9:56pm

Hi all, well the little lady has slept through the past 2 nights...wait for it.... WITH NO FORMULA! I'm just giving myself a pat on the back for not giving up

. Now I realise I've probably just jinxed myself by posting that...But I may be updating tomorrow saying she was up every second hour tonight.

I have been on antibiotics the past 2 days so I hope it's not that putting her to sleep? Basically she had a small feed from me around 6.30pm the previous 2 nights. Point blank refused her bottle of EBM at 8pm and roared the house down until she fell asleep around 8.30-9pm. Slept through birth nights till morning.
I wonder is the phase over or if it could be the antibiotics....

contrary_mary · 22-07-2014 10:03pm

Sligo without knowing what you're on I would still think it's highly unlikely they would be making her sleepy. seems like it was just a phase - fingers crossed!

I'm a little better today, I did manage a few broken hours last night but only because I took him into bed with me. He had a few decent naps during the day today because I was out and about so he slept in the car/pram. But he's wide awake now after a 20 minute sleep in his cot, mooching around it and farting! I think my boobs are slightly less sore thank goodness, hopefully they will continue to improve.

Sligo1 · 22-07-2014 10:08pm

I'm glad you're a little better. I hope it gets easier for you. Have you tried putting one of your pillowcases or worn t.shirts on his mattress? This is what I tried the last 2 nights (needs must)... Just a pillow case over her crib mattress and tucked it in so she could smell me (coz she always sleeps great next to me or in my bed)... It could have been a coincidence that she slept.

I hope you're not not too down about the whole things. Must be very upsetting for you.

ncmc · 23-07-2014 6:33am

Sligo, well done on sticking to your guns and continuing to BF, it's hard when you're sleep deprived and you don't have the support around you, but hopefully the last week was just a blip and it will be easier from now on. Did the doctor know you were BF when he prescribed the anti biotics? If so, I'm sure they are BF safe and doubt they're making her sleepy. The close, humid weather the last few days is making the babies sleepy I reckon, so that could have been a factor. But hopefully that's you over the hump.

Hope you feel better today Contrary Mary. It's hard to get them to nap if they don't want to. I think that 2 hour thing is rubbish, my LO is awake from 5/6 to 10/11, every night and sometimes has days were she hardly sleeps a wink and then others when she sleeps all day.

My gripe this week is that her latch is getting progressively worse. She used to have a great flared lip latch, but can't get her that fully latched on any more. She's in good form and putting on weight but would love to get a good latch back as I spend the feeds fretting and trying to reposition her. Wonder would a LC help or would I be better saving my money and going to a LLL meeting instead.

contrary_mary · 23-07-2014 8:21am

Thanks for the good wishes girls. We had another rough night - he was awake for most of it and anytime he did drop off he'd wake himself with a shock flailing his arms out (startle reflex?). Swaddling might help if it wasn't too hot for it. I find the nights very hard - by 3/4am I felt I was losing my mind. He was never a good sleeper but he had been really bad the last few days and I'm not sure if I blame the heat, the change to formula, or what. He seems to sleep more on me so maybe it's a bit of clinginess after being taken off the breast. Poor wee mite. I'm going to buy a few of those dr brown bottles today and see if they help with the farting situation!

Sligo1 · 23-07-2014 8:23am

Yep told my gp i was breastfeeding. He said to take the antibiotic and that some may possibly pass into the breastmilk but that they weren't harmful to baby ... Ie. they're not contraindicated in breastfeeding.

I would perhaps try LLL first before a lactation Consultant and see can you sort the latch before handing over €90. Maybe try the LC if you can't get it sorted with LLL? If you're in Dublin I can give you details of 2 very good LCs.

Sligo1 · 23-07-2014 8:38am

contrary_mary wrote: »

Thanks for the good wishes girls. We had another rough night - he was awake for most of it and anytime he did drop off he'd wake himself with a shock flailing his arms out (startle reflex?). Swaddling might help if it wasn't too hot for it. I find the nights very hard - by 3/4am I felt I was losing my mind. He was never a good sleeper but he had been really bad the last few days and I'm not sure if I blame the heat, the change to formula, or what. He seems to sleep more on me so maybe it's a bit of clinginess after being taken off the breast. Poor wee mite. I'm going to buy a few of those dr brown bottles today and see if they help with the farting situation!

O poor you MC

. i really hope this wint last too much longer for you. I've been swaddling Lilly the last few nights in a very small light cellular and leaving the window open. Her room is reading 23 but I don't think she'd sleep without being swaddled

.

How Strange · 23-07-2014 9:07am

Sligo1 wrote: »

O poor you MC . i really hope this wint last too much longer for you. I've been swaddling Lilly the last few nights in a very small light cellular and leaving the window open. Her room is reading 23 but I don't think she'd sleep without being swaddled .

We had the very same problem last summer. She had just a strong startle reflex that she kept waking herself up if she wasn't swaddled but her room was 25oc some nights.

ncmc · 23-07-2014 9:23am

Thanks Sligo, I'm in Cork. Will try LLL first and then Claire Boyle if that doesn't help, heard she is excellent.

MC, I've heard of people swaddling in a large muslin cloth, thought that was a good idea as it's so light.

How Strange · 23-07-2014 9:33am

ncmc definitely try your local LLL or Cuidu. The leaders usually have mobile numbers advertised so you can contact them anytime

Dr.Winston O'Boogie · 23-07-2014 11:41pm

Hello all, GF and myself have a new born baby (3 days old), however its proving very hard to get him to BF as he is asleep nearly 24/7! Is this normal in a newborn? The odd time he is awake he falls asleep mid feed and its hard to wake him from his snooze. Responds better to bottled expressed milk for now.

Anyone else had this and had to bottle feed initially as the baby was too tired for anything else?

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