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is marriage pointless these days?
Comments
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limklad wrote:As a quote of One woman I know said to her newly found husband on their wedding day speech,
“What is yours is mine and what is mine is mine”0 -
ejmaztec wrote:So, what do unmarried parents call their kids? (talking surnames here, not bast*rds)
My parents never married. I was given my fathers surname. Then the parents broke up and mam gave me her surname. I have the official change of name form! It didn't cause too much hassle because I was like 3yrs old or something.
I think marriage is old fashioned and a waste of money. It ages you by a few years also. It starts the ball rolling ie. kids, house, mortgage, no more sessions with the boyz etc.
If I did find a really nice girlfriend, "the one", and I was confident that I could spend the rest of my life with her, I'd SKIP THE WEDDING and go straight for an extended honeymoon. 3 months traveling around some continent like South America or whatever. After the 3 months you will know for sure if you want to spend the rest of your life together or not.
Marriage is almost a tribal custom don't you think? Stuck to the same person UNTIL YOU DIE???!!! It's crazy IMO.
A very rare sight is two wedded 40yr olds holding hands....0 -
Elessar wrote:Yes it's pointless. Also financial suicide.
I cant help but snigger when I hear one of my co-workers calling his fiance every f*cking hour cos they're just so much in love. Wait until your 40 mate, you'll hardly have a conversation with your wife, if you're still married that is, which you wont be after one of you cheats or falls "out of love" with the other and everything becomes routine. The you loose the house, your car, your money and your life.
Oh the naive.
'oh the bitter' more like0 -
Ninja_scrotum wrote:I'd SKIP THE WEDDING and go straight for an extended honeymoon. 3 months traveling around some continent like South America or whatever. After the 3 months you will know for sure if you want to spend the rest of your life together or not.
Thats exactly what i told my sister to do ... but did she listen?
1 day in the arsehole of Clare vs. 3 months living it up in SE Asia...
no contest...0 -
its interesting that alot of the views expressed here seem to display a dissillusionment with marriage and the whole idea..I still have faith in it as an institution and a important part of society.
I do think that there is so much emphasis placed on the day itself and it is absolutely ridiculous going 30k in debt, only to constantly worry about how much everyone else will give you in return so that you can hope to break even...
the point of a marriage and indeed a wedding day is to stand up in front of your family and friends, and maybe god if that s what you want and say to everyone, I love this person and I want to spend the rest of my life with them...not neccesarily to have the flashiest hotel, etc etc...if the emphasis shifted from all that maybe ppl would nt be getting married for all the wrong reasons!!
marriages are never easy but there is also evidence to suggest that along with every marriage break down there is a very happily married couple...I know my parents are just one, 31 years strong...0 -
Marriage as a contract and as a legal way by which a person gains rights is still important and valid.0
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Thaedydal wrote:Marriage as a contract and as a legal way by which a personThaedydal wrote:gains rights is still important and valid.
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I don't think marriage works in todays world. I would enter into a contract to start a family though. We agree to have a kid and do our best to raise it it would last 18 years. The parents wouldn't necessarily have to stay faithful to they're partner but would have to consider whats best for the child. It's what happens in the real world anyway once two people have a child they're stuck together for all time no matter what happens.0
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a lot people are atheist these days - why get joined to someone in an institution you don't believe in/don't attend??????? it's financial ruin and then afterwards phrases such as the 'aul ball and chain come out of the woodwork0
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I can't believe nobody has mentioned the one thing that will solve all these problems about marriage being unfair to men, ball and chain, etc.?
Pre-nuptials - simple as!
There you go, solves all the problems just like that!
But how legally binding are they really if challenged?0 -
Dagon wrote:I can't believe nobody has mentioned the one thing that will solve all these problems about marriage being unfair to men, ball and chain, etc.?
Pre-nuptials - simple as!
There you go, solves all the problems just like that!
But how legally binding are they really if challenged?0 -
event wrote:'oh the bitter' more like
No event, i think he's just being realistic,
Just check the worldwide divorce rates-and the majority of the time it's the women that come out with the better "half" of the financial settlement.0 -
limklad wrote:Mostly (al lot on the side of females)
Nope both persons gain rights from being married.
Spouses become each other's next of kin,
You can live with some one for 40 years but if you are not married thier 'family' get the rights to thier body and how it is buried.
If you are not married you can be not allowed in hospital or be allowed to have a say in the medical treatment and care of your partner.
inheritance and pension rights,
guardianship rights,
discounts on insurance,
being able to claim of each other's prsi contributions,
Getting married is not financial suicide in many ways it make a lot more finical sense getting separated /divorced can be financial suicide.limklad wrote:What Rights? and Yes it is a contract, an unfair one to Honest Males nowadays, If a wife leaves a family home and abandon the child to go live with her fling and leave with the husband to look after the child on his own and then a few years later she goes for full custody and wins. This has happens all over the world. Again, Explain what rights!
That does not happen all over the world, only in countries like this one who do not put the child first and don't have real custody guidelines.0 -
Ninja_scrotum wrote:A very rare sight is two wedded 40yr olds holding hands....
I'm still a bit shy of 40, more so than my Mrs (I iz toyboy ), but we hold hands or I'll have my arm around whenever we're out - be that in Grafton St, Dundrum SC or Marlay Park. Oh yeah... been married 11 years, together 14, one kid.
And we've been through th1ck & sh1t a few times. Never between us, I'll gladly say, but when dealing with some of the very, very bad sh1t life throws your way now and then. The kind of bad sh1t that easily kills relationships these days, that involve money, or career, or cultural shock (coming over here was kinda hard on her system, getting better now ). But the same rule of thumb applies for marriages as it does for friendships: you find out who your true friends are at your most desperate hour. And your wife (or husband, for female readers) should be the very best friend of them all.0 -
Thaedydal wrote:Nope both persons gain rights from being married.
Spouses become each other's next of kin,
You can live with some one for 40 years but if you are not married thier 'family' get the rights to thier body and how it is buried.Thaedydal wrote:If you are not married you can be not allowed in hospital or be allowed to have a say in the medical treatment and care of your partner.Thaedydal wrote:discounts on insurance,Thaedydal wrote:inheritance and pension rights,
being able to claim of each other's prsi contributions,Thaedydal wrote:guardianship rights,
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/access_to_children_and_unmarried_couples
If she leaves the marriage, she takes the rights with her. That leaves the male are her mercy, which is very bad on the male perfective.
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/separation_and_divorce_children
Again signing of the Guardianship form will change this.
There is more information here, http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couplesThaedydal wrote:Getting married is not financial suicide in many ways it make a lot more finical sense getting separated /divorced can be financial suicide.
It is small compare to cost of divorce, when both partners do not agree. The emotional trauma for everyone involve is bad and that include kids in which people (especially women) use as a weapon against their partner!!Thaedydal wrote:That does not happen all over the world, only in countries like this one who do not put the child first and don't have real custody guidelines.
The more research I do, and put all of the Positive and negative side by side, you will still find that the Male get a very raw deal.0 -
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I just found out a "living Will" have no legal status but your "Final will" has, by carefully stating it you will have. It is still considers your wishes beyond your families concern.0
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I would have to consult my two ex-wives to answer that question conclusively0
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limklad wrote:For example the Tax credits, they used to be shared/transferable. Slowly they comes up with the times and split these too as many people are living together are not married, and with divorce numbers are increasing in this counter.limklad wrote:Guardianship rights can be shared equally between parents provide the Female sign a legal guardianship forms. http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/access_to_children_and_unmarried_coupleslimklad wrote:If she leaves the marriage, she takes the rights with her. That leaves the male are her mercy, which is very bad on the male perfective.
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/separation_and_divorce_children
Again signing of the Guardianship form will change this.
[/quote]Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.
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yes marriage for the most part is pointless the only time I would say that marriage is a must is when you have kids, as otherwise if things go sour the father is ****ed legally if he isn't married, but that is a whole different thread0
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Blue_Lagoon wrote:Does marriage lose its point after awhile, thereby becoming pointless?;)
I think the point is only lost of the point receptor becomes blunt0 -
Seanies32 wrote:What is your point here, hard to understand.Tax Credits are still transferrable for married/separated couples? depending on what is most advantageous.
Short term gain for a few measly euro, compare to long term pain, in what you pay if your wife divorce you (Even if she in the wrong). You lose no matter what.
Seanies32 wrote:Still requires the mothers permission.
]
What Planet are you on I already stated this, she has to sign the guardianship form to allow you this right, otherwise you have none!
Seanies32 wrote:No, a father is an automatic guardian by virtue of marriage. Not so with unmarried fathers. There is no form to sign.
Again, What Planet are you on I already stated this and even gave you the links to prove it. Here it is again since you fail to read it last time
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/married-couples/guardianship_status_of_fathers
&
http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html
You do not have to marry her to gain Guardianship rights over the child. Otherwise the Marriage is based on control over you, and you become second fiddle in the relationship, and it is doom to fail once the child becomes 18.
and another link
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples0 -
For me the point of marraige is to display mutually respect, to set a foundation of trust and commitment for your own family and to assume a part in each other families.
I don't particularly care if I never get married, because I don't think a piece of paper affects the important things (I also don't think it precipates a personality transplant) but I simply wouldn't devote my life, my time, my energy, my womb and compromise my independant goals, for someone who wouldn't be prepared to marry me.
Especially if their reasons included everyone cheats and ****s each over so obviously you/I will, or I want to make sure you won't get your greasy mitts on my cash to feed our sprogs if we do split, or I don't see myself being attracted to you in 10 years times so I'm planning on trading you in.
Also I find all these various notions of contracts and legal ways to circumvent the problems of not being legally married a bit pointless.
Surely it is quicker and cheaper to pop into the registry office, you don't have to make a big deal about getting married.0 -
limklad wrote:Short term gain for a few measly euro, compare to long term pain, in what you pay if your wife divorce you (Even if she in the wrong). You lose no matter what.
I'd go the other way and say tax credits should be based on children.
Obviously this wont apply if there's no children but Eg. after divorce both parents can claim the one parent tax credit. So in fact the Revenue are losing when couples divorce, they're in effect giving 2 Married tax credits to the one couple! Whereas before they gave one.
It's a common misconception limklad that Revenue favours marriage, when, by the same logic you could say Revenue favours Seperation.
Actually, they favour One parent Families, because:
Father of OP family is entitled to Tax Credit of €3,520
Mother " " " " " " " " " " €3,520
Married Family €3,520
If you want to bring Revenue into it, they favour One parent and Divorced couples!limklad wrote:What Planet are you on I already stated this, she has to sign the guardianship form to allow you this right, otherwise you have none!
I stated somewhere, Donegal are AI champions as they're the best team in Ireland. They won the League! Doesn't mean I'm right.
Actually mothers do not have to sign anything regarding guardianship! Married fathers get guardianship automatically. Unmarried mothers do not have to sign any form regarding guardianship, only by consent. If she doesn't consent, the father applies to court.
Also as I'll go on to prove, married/divorced fathers don't need the mother to sign anything!They are automatically guardians. Even unmarried fathers can get it awarded by the court, against the mothers wishes.limklad wrote:Again, What Planet are you on I already stated this and even gave you the links to prove it. Here it is again since you fail to read it last time
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/married-couples/guardianship_status_of_fathers
&
http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/separation_and_divorce_childrenp://
Wasn't going to post this on AH as well, but seen as you took that tone there you are:
Married parents are automatically joint guardians of their children. Neither separation nor divorce changes this. (A father who is not married to the mother of his child does not have automatic guardianship rights in relation to that child. You can read more about the Guardianship status of fathers in Ireland in our separate document on this subject).limklad wrote:You do not have to marry her to gain Guardianship rights over the child.
Actually, if you're an unmarried father that is the only way you're guarenteed guardianship, so wrong again! Otherwise it's at the mothers or judges discretion, so you are slightly wrong again.Obviously, I wouldn't advise marriage just to get guardianship, but your post is incorrect. It's the only way it's guarenteed without a mother or judges consent. If the mother and indeed judge refused, you'd have to marry her to be guarenteed it.
limklad wrote:Otherwise the Marriage is based on control over you, and you become second fiddle in the relationship, and it is doom to fail once the child becomes 18.
and another link
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples
Guardianship is not a reason to get married. It can be easily awarded, and in the vast majority of cases, is, awarded outside of marriage.
I do agree you have an interest in this area, and I completely welcome it, please do some more research. Citizens Information isn't always a reliable source! And yes, I know, I'm after posting a link there, but I'm not looking for information to suit me! After a lot of interest and research in this area, I know this is correct. If you can post a link from somewhere beside Citizen Information, feel free, and I'll see if I can agree to it.
Anyway, enuff said, btw, what planet do you live on?Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.
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Elessar wrote:Yes it's pointless. Also financial suicide.
I cant help but snigger when I hear one of my co-workers calling his fiance every f*cking hour cos they're just so much in love. Wait until your 40 mate, you'll hardly have a conversation with your wife, if you're still married that is, which you wont be after one of you cheats or falls "out of love" with the other and everything becomes routine. The you loose the house, your car, your money and your life.
Oh the naive.
Recently dumped?0 -
Seanies32 wrote:[/color]
I'd go the other way and say tax credits should be based on children.
Obviously this wont apply if there's no children but Eg. after divorce both parents can claim the one parent tax credit. So in fact the Revenue are losing when couples divorce, they're in effect giving 2 Married tax credits to the one couple! Whereas before they gave one.
It's a common misconception limklad that Revenue favours marriage, when, by the same logic you could say Revenue favours Seperation.
Actually, they favour One parent Families, because:
Father of OP family is entitled to Tax Credit of €3,520
Mother " " " " " " " " " " €3,520
Married Family €3,520
If you want to bring Revenue into it, they favour One parent and Divorced couples!
[/color]Seanies32 wrote:Actually mothers do not have to sign anything regarding guardianship! Married fathers get guardianship automatically. Unmarried mothers do not have to sign any form regarding guardianship, only by consent. If she doesn't consent, the father applies to court.Seanies32 wrote:Also as I'll go on to prove, married/divorced fathers don't need the mother to sign anything!They are automatically guardians. Even unmarried fathers can get it awarded by the court, against the mothers wishes.Seanies32 wrote:Actually, if you're an unmarried father that is the only way you're guarenteed guardianship, so wrong again!Seanies32 wrote:Otherwise it's at the mothers or judges discretion,Seanies32 wrote:so you are slightly wrong again.Obviously, I wouldn't advise marriage just to get guardianship, but your post is incorrect.Seanies32 wrote:It's the only way it's guarenteed without a mother or judges consent. If the mother and indeed judge refused, you'd have to marry her to be guarenteed it.Seanies32 wrote:
Actually, for once, I don't particularly disagree with you there.Seanies32 wrote:Guardianship is not a reason to get married.Seanies32 wrote:It can be easily awarded, and in the vast majority of cases, is, awarded outside of marriage.
Most people are smart enough to know if you do not get on be civil (you do not have to like) your child father/mother to raise a child.
Because the only Judge that really matters is the Child, for they grow up mighty fast and can burn you for your misdeeds as they know you best and eventually find out the truth.Seanies32 wrote:what planet do you live on?
To wrap thing up. marriage is pointless for every other reason with the one main exception, that both partners going into it are in love and truely respect each other, otherwise it is cleary pointless and expect it to be doomed.
The devil is always in the detail in which most people overlook.0 -
wow tha tis some drum you have there limklad.
cleary for you marraige is pointless.0 -
Thaedydal wrote:wow tha tis some drum you have there limklad.Thaedydal wrote:cleary for you marraige is pointless.
Nope! I never said that.
Marriage is about both couples been committed in supporting, loving and respecting each other. Getting married is to display this or show off is there is a better term nowadays, but as most of us know, people make bad mistakes when choosing their life partner and or even think that marrying the other is the solution or temporary solution to their problems whenever it is self insecurity or not.
Anything less than commitment to your partner, then it is pointless.
unless your are a foreigner and what to gain legal status in this country!!
I just love a good debate, every now and again. Don't You?0 -
wow limklad, i can only hope i never share your opinions. I'm engaged to be married and havent a single doubt in my mind.
and stop changing the f*ckin text colour of all of your posts to black, its not neccessary and it screws with the cloud theme!0 -
cance wrote:wow limklad, i can only hope i never share your opinions.cance wrote:I'm engaged to be married and havent a single doubt in my mind.
If you were you would not have the following insecurity!!cance wrote:and stop changing the f*ckin text colour of all of your posts to black, its not neccessary and it screws with the cloud theme!
My girlfriend is laughing while reading these posts, she tell me how easy it is to rub other people noses the wrong way, just by having an opinion or people misreading other people posts and attacking them as she puts it when they responds.
I want her or any future prospective wife to know all my faults and accept that and vica versa.0 -
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limklad wrote:I just love a good debate, every now and again. Don't You?
I do like a good dicussion, there is a difference but neither can be had with a troll.
Sounds more like you just enjoy arguing for the sake of it and provoking a reaction and around here we call that trolling.0 -
limklad wrote:I never expect anyone to share if they do not want to.
Good for you, but Are you sure? Innocent love, how it managed to cloud over the cracks. :eek:
If you were you would not have the following insecurity!!
It must be you browser I do not see it. As my text is in black.:p
A: i find your posting immature and irrational, troll alert tbh.
B: its not a feckin browser issue i can see your COLOR tags when i quote you.0 -
Thaedydal wrote:I do like a good dicussion, there is a difference but neither can be had with a troll.
Sounds more like you just enjoy arguing for the sake of it and provoking a reaction and around here we call that trolling.
People who get upset accuse others of trolling just because other have an opinions, and do not want others to defend themselves legitimately. It is easy to get emotional attach to one side and accuse the other of trolling when they troll themselves, especially when they have the power to do so.
If I ever troll, I will make it far more obvious with black and white context, with no gray areas, where everybody can agree it is, like directly insulting/attacking the other posts with obscene/degrading words such as from another quote"Your are a load of b*l*x and don't deserve to live, your ma is a wh*re "
I could many examples throughout "After Hours" of trolling that have been tolerated that exists in grey areas. the grey area include friendly slagging each other
but this is off subject from the Op Post submitted.0 -
cance wrote:A: i find your posting immature and irrational, troll alert tbh.0
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limklad wrote:People who get upset accuse others of trolling just because other have an opinions, and do not want others to defend themselves legitimately. It is easy to get emotional attach to one side and accuse the other of trolling when they troll themselves, especially when they have the power to do so.
Ah bless you think you managed to emotionally upset me.
You are entitle to your opinions and I am entitle to think that you are wrong and throwing the baby out with the bath water.limklad wrote:If I ever troll, I will make it far more obvious with black and white context, with no gray areas, where everybody can agree it is, like directly insulting/attacking the other posts with obscene/degrading words such as from another quote etc.
If you think that trolling is limited to insulting/attacking and obscene/degrading then you would be wrong.
http://www.urban75.com/Mag/troll.htmlSection 7: The Successful Troll
A good example of troll success is the famous "How I Envy American Students" troll.
This troll was written by an English brick-layer posing as an American student. He correctly posted it to all the college news- groups and then left american students to do all the work spreading it.
His troll ran for over a year, it is known to have generated in excess of 3,500 responses (an average of 1 response every 160 minutes for a whole year) and the greatest coup of all was when an innocent american student lost not only her internet account but was also expelled from high school for abuse of the computer systems.0 -
OK, I admit I am a newly wed - but I was with my husband for 9 years on and off before I married him. In the end it came down to me wanting to have him officially as family in front of the state, God and our family and friends. There is something special in being married to your soul mate.0
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Thaedydal wrote:You are entitle to your opinions and I am entitle to think that you are wrong
You continued to defend the abusive person who was trolling that group because they ask for a piece of paper of proof and he went head over heals because of it with insults galore. After his kid was accepted, when they return to ask, he humbled a small bit and still continued to troll. So my experience with you is that you take it personally and threaten to ban me, claiming that I was trolling and off subject but I quoted your posts and the First OP post to show I was not off topic and because I questioned His parental skills.Thaedydal wrote:and throwing the baby out with the bath water.0 -
When it comes to the question of whether marriage is pointless or not depends on how the two people entering into a marriage view it - if they think it is indeed pointless, then it will be to them, bringing the various problems that previous posters have mentioned. If they respect the idea, then it more often than not will work out well as they will work at the marriage.
Personally speaking, I didn't see the point of marriage when I was younger, sure "it was only a bit of paper" etc. However, my view changed when I met a person with whom I could see the "point" of marriage. It was a declaration that from that point on, the most important person in each of our lives would be each other, with all the rights and responsibilities that comes with that.
We didn't go for a big fancy church wedding putting ourselves into debt as for us, it was a personal commitment to each other, shared with family and friends, and neither of us could bear the thought of getting married in a church anyway for (anti) religious reasons.
For those saying that marriage is a big waste of money for a day out, the actual ceremony in a registry office costs somewhere in the region of 50 quid. Anything over and above this is purely down to the couple and what they fancy spending to have a day out celebrating, and whether they intend to "impress" people with their show. We did spend a few K on our wedding, but nowhere in the region of "regular" weddings, it was more like 5k including a good honeymoon, and was all paid for beforehand through savings rather than through loans to be paid afterwards.
And again from a personal view, I did find it changed things - for the better. Even in the run up to the day, I didn't think it would too change much except I could refer to the other half as my "husband" rather than boyfriend or partner, but it has crystallised everything for me (and himself) - you have declared your position to all and sundry, as a "team", who plan on working out a path through life together for better or for worse (that's in the vows like!).
I think that unfortunately in this day and age everything is about immediate gratification, and a very selfish culture of "look after number one" and this is why so many marriages fail - at the first hint of trouble, people cut and run as they just couldn't be bothered working anything out, or sticking through a rough patch, everything has to be perfect immediately or it's seeya I'm onto the next distraction that will suit me. A pity for sure.0 -
limklad wrote:I don't have any problem with you or anyone making opinions and we had this discussion before. I think it was in "personnel issues" and you had personnel issues with me! as I disagree with you and as you and the OP had degrading assumptions about certain group of people. You basically slated a group with the same tarnish brush because of the fowl mistakes of the few, and I used your own quotes to prove it.
There is not a forum on this site called personnel issues,
there is one called personal issues.
I don't know you as a person so I don't have personal issues with you.limklad wrote:You continued to defend the abusive person who was trolling that group because they ask for a piece of paper of proof and he went head over heals because of it with insults galore. After his kid was accepted, when they return to ask, he humbled a small bit and still continued to troll.
Oh you are referencing a thread in parenting, clearly you don't have your 'facts' straight.limklad wrote:So my experience with you is that you take it personally and threaten to ban me, claiming that I was trolling and off subject but I quoted your posts and the First OP post to show I was not off topic and because I questioned His parental skills.
The above paragraph is classic trollish behaviour, you are muddying the waters in this thread referencing something that did not happen in this forum or in fact did not happen.
If you want to raise an issue about my action as a mod you are free to do so via pm or the feedback forum, I am not going to rise to you baiting me here.
Yes there are issues in regards to parental right and the rights of children and the fact that an amicable break up where parents respect each other and do what is best for thier children seem to be unheard of in this country but that should not be a reason to say marriage is pointless.0 -
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Thaedydal wrote:Yes there are issues in regards to parental right and the rights of children and the fact that an amicable break up where parents respect each other and do what is best for thier children seem to be unheard of in this country but that should not be a reason to say marriage is pointless.0
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Limklad, I have no problem whatsoever with you. Going back to the dad thread in personnel issue, you posted absolutely brilliant advice about not being bitter etc. and putting the kids first. A1 post and one that could be quoted to many women and men in the same situation.
My issue was, you posted 3/4 links to the Citizens Information site, that is an excellent site, but just like their offices, they can give incorrect or not full information. Obviously and I'd probably have done that myself, with that back up, You posted it here and on the other thread, as Jeremy Clarkson would say, as "FACT".
Now, I posted 1 link there, that showed it was incorrect.
The problem was you where looking for information about guardianship in general and not specifically, to married dads seperating.
Easy mistake to make. I take it you accept the links and "information you posted" where incorrect?
Your gf may admire you for admitting you where wrong and went on the attack! :rolleyes:limklad wrote:The revenue/Dept of Finance is discriminating against Single Fathers who are raising Children!!! Court case to be had to force them obtain equal rights as they are in breach of equal rights treaty that they sign up for.
What details are you referring to? A father raising children gets a One Parent Family credit and a single mans credit of €3,520 in total, same as a married man.limklad wrote:I know this but if you been reading my previous posts you see that i am arguing that you do not have to get married to gain guardianship as most mothers see what benfit to the child rather than themselves. especially when the mother dies or some unfortunate things happen, and the mother is not contactable for some reason and a decision needs to be taken for the child sake.limklad wrote:Again you have proven this for me, another "Thank you", with one exception, Divorce fathers are no longer "married" therefore "unmarried". Again the devil is in the detail, and it is that trap that people fall into.
Married parents are automatically joint guardians of their children. Neither separation nor divorce changes this. (A father who is not married to the mother of his child does not have automatic guardianship rights in relation to that child. You can read more about the Guardianship status of fathers in Ireland in our separate document on this subject).
You either accept this is true, or you don't?
What it comes down to is: unmarried children are illegitimate, yes, that's the language used in the Guardianship Act!
Children of divorced/seperated fathers aren't. They where married when the kids where born, hence, they're legitimate.
I didn't want to refer to these terms in 2007, but there you are.limklad wrote:Where did I state this, again you are wrong and jumping to assumptions about what I have already said.
Now you are susgesting the the father has to marry the mother to gain guardianship. This can only happen if you marry her before the child was born, otherwise you do not have automatic guardianship as you are not married at the time of birth.limklad wrote:This thread is full of contentd that you disagree with me more than once!!
I never said it was a reason but a method of achieve it but not the only one.limklad wrote:I aggree with you here and post the statistics to prove it and again you have proven my point that guardianship can be awarded without getting married, therefore marriage is pointless and child guardianship and custody can be shared outside marriage.limklad wrote:touchy, touchy getting emotional here are you.
You now accept you have posted incorrect information and links on two different threads?limklad wrote:To wrap thing up. marriage is pointless for every other reason with the one main exception, that both partners going into it are in love and truely respect each other, otherwise it is cleary pointless and expect it to be doomed.Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.
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Seems a whole lot of people here are confusing 'weddings' with 'marriage'.
The wedding is the fluff. You don't have to spend any more than it costs to get married in a registry office to get hitched.
Weddings generally mean feck all in the grand scheme of marriage.
As was posted above, I find the people who feel marriage is pointless have not met the person with whom marriage would have a point.0 -
Found this else where , at thought id post here, seeing as we've had a few around lately ...
An Internet "troll" is a person who delights in sowing discord on the Internet. He (and it is usually he) tries to start arguments and upset people.
Trolls see Internet communications services as convenient venues for their bizarre game. For some reason, they don't "get" that they are hurting real people. To them, other Internet users are not quite human but are a kind of digital abstraction. As a result, they feel no sorrow whatsoever for the pain they inflict. Indeed, the greater the suffering they cause, the greater their 'achievement' (as they see it). At the moment, the relative anonymity of the net allows trolls to flourish.
Trolls are utterly impervious to criticism (constructive or otherwise). You cannot negotiate with them; you cannot cause them to feel shame or compassion; you cannot reason with them. They cannot be made to feel remorse. For some reason, trolls do not feel they are bound by the rules of courtesy or social responsibility.
Perhaps this sounds inconceivable. You may think, "Surely there is something I can write that will change them." But a true troll can not be changed by mere words.
Some people particularly those who have been online for years are not upset by trolls and consider them an inevitable hazard of using the net. As the saying goes, "You can't have a picnic without ants."
It would be nice if everybody was so easy-going, but the sad fact is that trolls do discourage people. Established posters may leave a message board because of the arguments that trolls ignite, and lurkers (people who read but do not post) may decide that they do not want to expose themselves to abuse and thus never get involved.
Another problem is that the negative emotions stirred up by trolls leak over into other discussions. Normally affable people can become bitter after reading an angry interchange between a troll and his victims, and this can poison previously friendly interactions between long-time users.
Finally, trolls create a paranoid environment, such that a casual criticism by a new arrival can elicit a ferocious and inappropriate backlash.
The Internet is a wonderful resource which is breaking down barriers and stripping away prejudice. Trolls threaten our continued enjoyment of this beautiful forum for ideas.
When you suspect that somebody is a troll, you might try responding with a polite, mild message to see if it's just somebody in a bad mood. Internet users sometimes let their passions get away from them when seated safely behind their keyboard. If you ignore their bluster and respond in a pleasant manner, they usually calm down.
However, if the person persists in being beastly, and seems to enjoy being unpleasant, the only effective position is summed up as follows:
The only way to deal with trolls is to limit your reaction to reminding others not to respond to trolls.
When you try to reason with a troll, he wins. When you insult a troll, he wins. When you scream at a troll, he wins. The only thing that trolls can't handle is being ignored.
As already stated, it is futile to try to "cure" a troll of his obsession. But perhaps you simply cannot bear the hostile environment that the troll is creating and want to go away for a while.
If you do that, then for the sake of the others on the system, please do not post a dramatic "Goodbye!" message. This convinces the troll that he is winning the battle. There is, perhaps, no message you can write on a message system that is as damaging as an announcement that you are leaving because of the hostility that the troll has kindled.
If you feel you must say something, a discreet message to the system operator (and some of the others users, if you have their email addresses) is the best course of action. Incidentally, if you are writing the letter in an agitated state, it is a good idea to wait an hour and then give it one last review before you actually send it. That might spare you the pain of saying things that you don't really mean to people you like.
When trolls find that their efforts are being successfully resisted, they often complain that their right to free speech is being infringed.
Regular net users know how delightful it is when somebody responds to something they have written. It is a meeting of the minds, which is an intellectual thrill, but it is also an acknowledgement of one's value — and that can be a very satisfying emotional reward.
Trolls crave attention, and they care not whether it is positive or negative. They see the Internet as a mirror into which they can gaze in narcissistic rapture.
Next time you are on a message board and you see a post by somebody whom you think is a troll, and you feel you must reply, simply write a follow-up message entitled "Troll Alert" and type only this:
The only way to deal with trolls is to limit your reaction to reminding others not to respond to trolls.
By posting such a message, you let the troll know that you know what he is, and that you are not going to get dragged into his twisted little hobby.
I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because of an excellent post for a dad afte his wife left him with the kids.
However, if he can't accept that he gave wrong advice and posted incorrect links on 2 different threads within a day or two, well...........Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.
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limklad wrote:I never expect anyone to share if they do not want to.
Good for you, but Are you sure? Innocent love, how it managed to cloud over the cracks. :eek:
If you were you would not have the following insecurity!!
It must be you browser I do not see it. As my text is in black.:p
My girlfriend is laughing while reading these posts, she tell me how easy it is to rub other people noses the wrong way, just by having an opinion or people misreading other people posts and attacking them as she puts it when they responds.
I want her or any future prospective wife to know all my faults and accept that and vica versa.
You'll have to be logged out to read this, but could you relate the following out to your girlfriend, please?
"limklad has just been banned from After Hours for trolling."
Now picture the scene from the Simpsons, where the Simpson family are burning the Flanders' at the stake.
"Now who's laughing? Now who's laughing?"
That is all.0 -
I think after ten years rate of marriage breakdown is 50 percent.THERES some tax breaks for married couples, if one partner dies the other one gets most of the estate unless theres a will made to prevent this.IN the eyes of the law its a legal contract to provide financial support to your wife for the rest of your life, even after you get divorced,even if you have no kids .MY advice to anyone wait at least 6 years into a relationship, unless everything is absolutely perfect dont get marrried. THE average divorce costs at least 10k in legal fees.Marriage is a great way to make solicitors rich , cos 50percent of couples end up breaking up ,or divorcing.BUT i understand theres social pressure in some areas for people to get married ,but theres loadsa people with kids who never bother getting married.0
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Imo marriage is pretty much pointless*...
If people are happy together then it wont change anything and its not like someone who decides they want out will hang in there just because they are married.. I have seen the aftermath of a couple of divorces and its pretty scary how ****ed up people get in the cross fire (especially dudes)... Seems worse than a regular breakup...
Plus there is the cost of the whole thing!!
*nothing got to do with the fact that im single.. ahem..
I do think blokes generally take break ups worse but thats just my experience maybe thats a lot to do with it nearly always being the females decision?0 -
Blue_Lagoon wrote: »Methinks the 80% cheating poll cited is bull! I'll bet the sample they polled was biased in some ways. Probably from some magazine survey with a narrowly defined audience, or some special interest group? Plus, I would bet that their research methodology and analysis may be problematic, too.
In any case, marriage is not pointless for couples who truly love one another. Further, it is not pointless for their children in many ways. Sure, there may be close relationships that have dependent children that work, but I have always wondered why they don't tie the knot?
There are also other practical reasons that benefit couples and their dependent children from both legal, inheritance, and employment benefits standpoints.
A few years ago I might have thought the 80% was a bit high but to be honest the older I get teh more I realise my old romantic ideals were fantasy. I know of so many people who are married (30s or less) or engaged who have cheated ro are cheating its amazing!0 -
An interesting angle to the OP's question is that a section of society that has all the perceived advantages of relationships without the hassle of marriage i.e. gay couples, are pushing to be able to marry!
I suppose they're the real romantics? Maybe gay people are more faithful I dont honestly know enough about teh gay scene anywhere to comment on that??0 -
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The-Rigger wrote: »Nah she is right.
Far too many fools get married.
People just seem to get married and/or have kids because it's the done thing, rather than having a huge commitment to it.
I thnk that happens all the time these days I know of a few guys (and I am a guy so people dont think I am a feminist guy-basher:D) who have cheated on their then fiances numerous times and they still married the girls so I ask the question is that just because its the done thing?0 -
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