DIY Divorces

bulletblue · 24-02-2012 2:14pm #1

Has anyone gone down the DIY divorce. It seems you can save a lot of money but I am sure it is a complex process. I was researching and found Irish Divorce Servcies ; has anyone used them ; what are your experiences of DIY divorces ?

Abi · 24-02-2012 2:25pm

Hi

DIY divorces are only inexpensive so long as your divorce is going to be clean cut. In other words, all issues surrounding the divorce has already been arranged, such as property divided, maintenance set in place, and access for any children arranged. You must also be living no less than 4 years apart to apply for a divorce.

I was in a district court waiting room where a guy got chatting to me, and he said he went for one of the DIY divorces, and it was the best thing he ever did. However, he did say that there were no complications in his case, so it worked out.

My advice to you would be to get all that sorted out before you apply for your DIY divorce

bulletblue · 24-02-2012 2:31pm

Hi Abi
Yes I understand the 4 year rule. I have written up a set of proposals for a non contested divorce and my ex has agreed; saying that she has agreed in the past to things and changed her mind. I still want to try this out as I am sick of both of us having wasted a lot of money on the judicial seperation; so I am interested in peoples experiences with DIY

Abi · 24-02-2012 2:34pm

bulletblue wrote: »

Hi Abi
Yes I understand the 4 year rule. I have written up a set of proposals for a non contested divorce and my ex has agreed; saying that she has agreed in the past to things and changed her mind. I still want to try this out as I am sick of both of us having wasted a lot of money on the judicial seperation; so I am interested in peoples experiences with DIY

Okay, well you'll just have to put it across to her that the longer it goes on, the more time and money is wasted. Has a judicial separation been granted yet?

bulletblue · 24-02-2012 2:41pm

Abi wrote: »

Okay, well you'll just have to put it across to her that the longer it goes on, the more time and money is wasted. Has a judicial separation been granted yet?

Yep done and dusted 5 years now; how about you?

Pandora2 · 24-02-2012 2:47pm

I got my divorce, via a DIY service some 10 years after my judicial separation....there was one dependant child but no property or maintenance issues. It cost me €700. 4 or so years ago.....the ex OH told me he spent about the same on legal advice. Judge was a bit scathing of those who undertake provision of this service and laboured heavily on the issue of pensions but Divorce granted. I was very happy with the process but, I would agree you both have to be of one mind before you go next or near the courts. These people do not appear in the courtroom with you as advocates but help you to prepapre the paperwork. If the judge queries anything it is to you or your ex, so you would need to be prepared for that...in my case, I conceded rights to my ex's pension and the Judge queried my wisdom but let it go as I was sure of my position.

Abi · 24-02-2012 2:47pm

bulletblue wrote: »

Yep done and dusted 5 years now; how about you?

Well tell her that you're going to go ahead with it, and it can't have any bumps in the road or it may be more costly in the long run.

I'm afraid I've a messy one on my hands bullet. I ended things with my ex, it wasn't working out, but he didn't want it to end. Hes very bitter about it, and is causing as much trouble as he can. I'm in the midst of trying to get everything sorted, have a couple of court dates coming up. Once I have all that out of the way, I'm going to go down the DIY route myself

bulletblue · 24-02-2012 3:01pm

Pandora2 wrote: »

I got my divorce, via a DIY service some 10 years after my judicial separation....there was one dependant child but no property or maintenance issues. It cost me €700. 4 or so years ago.....the ex OH told me he spent about the same on legal advice. Judge was a bit scathing of those who undertake provision of this service and laboured heavily on the issue of pensions but Divorce granted. I was very happy with the process but, I would agree you both have to be of one mind before you go next or near the courts. These people do not appear in the courtroom with you as advocates but help you to prepapre the paperwork. If the judge queries anything it is to you or your ex, so you would need to be prepared for that...in my case, I conceded rights to my ex's pension and the Judge queried my wisdom but let it go as I was sure of my position.

can understand the Judge offering advice when they feel that there might be a misunderstanding or a injustice but apart from that; I dont think the judges like the DIY route becuase they are part of the system and the gravy train that is divorce and seperation in Ireland; the more complex; the longer the process; the greater the division of parties; the more moeny is spent and it all feeds the system. Sorry I am sceptical but I cannot see the impartiality of judges when it comes to divorce. I believe in germany they have a coded system; which is based on clear rules; you can apply the codes and the formula to your situation and the end result is what legally either party should come out with at the end of teh divorce. There is no uncertainty or differences of interpretation. This is probably a whole new thread...

bulletblue · 24-02-2012 3:01pm

Abi wrote: »

Well tell her that you're going to go ahead with it, and it can't have any bumps in the road or it may be more costly in the long run.

I'm afraid I've a messy one on my hands bullet. I ended things with my ex, it wasn't working out, but he didn't want it to end. Hes very bitter about it, and is causing as much trouble as he can. I'm in the midst of trying to get everything sorted, have a couple of court dates coming up. Once I have all that out of the way, I'm going to go down the DIY route myself

Sorry to hear its messy ; good luck with that.

bulletblue · 24-02-2012 3:09pm

Pandora2 wrote: »

I got my divorce, via a DIY service some 10 years after my judicial separation....there was one dependant child but no property or maintenance issues. It cost me €700. 4 or so years ago.....the ex OH told me he spent about the same on legal advice. Judge was a bit scathing of those who undertake provision of this service and laboured heavily on the issue of pensions but Divorce granted. I was very happy with the process but, I would agree you both have to be of one mind before you go next or near the courts. These people do not appear in the courtroom with you as advocates but help you to prepapre the paperwork. If the judge queries anything it is to you or your ex, so you would need to be prepared for that...in my case, I conceded rights to my ex's pension and the Judge queried my wisdom but let it go as I was sure of my position.

btw Thanks for your reply; do you remember which DIY service you used ?

Pandora2 · 24-02-2012 3:54pm

bulletblue wrote: »

btw Thanks for your reply; do you remember which DIY service you used ?

Bound to have some paperwork somewhere but moved house in the interim and her name does not appear on any official documents ........She was a one woman show and advertised in the Tallaght Echo....had an office in Central Dublin (very small basement office)......I got her out of the paper and asked for testimonials which she happily provided. Will try and gate back with a name over the weekend:):)

Pandora2 · 24-02-2012 4:04pm

Jane Dorey on <mod snip> (published number)

:D:D I Can't believe I found it that quickly!!! She is a mature lady, has been involved in couples counselling for years prior to the divorce thing becoming possible. She was great and was outside the court on the 2 days I appeared. She has my recommendation and I see she is quoting Divorce for €475 now!! Allow a few extra quid for Notary Publics...I think I spent €60 or so in incidentals as well as Jane's fees. She will also work with you on a payment plan if need be....The very best of luck!!

Mods: I have no connection with this service, with the exception of having used the service successfully and being in a position to recommend them from my experience...Honest!!

Taltos · 24-02-2012 5:38pm

Mod Note:
Pandora2 - I am really sorry but I have had to snip the mobile number from your last post. Publishing numbers can cause a lot of grief for the person in question.

Thanks
Taltos

Pandora2 · 24-02-2012 5:59pm

Taltos....Many thanks.....the OP can just google her name...it's what I did...I fully appreciate your point and as you can see by my PS to you and yours (The Mods), it did give me pause for thought! I should have PM'd the info in the first place............apologies and lesson learnt:o

oOjimbobOo · 25-02-2012 12:03am

I done my divoce myself and it cost me €40 - and that included lunch on the day it was signed. It helped that we didnt own property or have savings, the ex was happy with everything and we had gone through Family Mediation (their mediated agreements can be included in the divorce decree) so I did it all without help. And if I can do it.........

Ken. · 25-02-2012 12:18am

I helped my mother get divorced from my father. My mother got all the paperwork and i (I was working with my father at the time) brought the papers he needed to sign to him. The only thing he had to do was sign them in front of a Garda,priest or peace commissioner and have them counter sign to prove he'd done it of his own free will.

My mother then took the paperwork to her solicitor and went to court where a judge okayed the whole thing. From her case being called to the judge giving the ok was 60 seconds. Whole thing cost her €300 about 7 years ago.

hondasam · 01-03-2012 3:42am

Do you have to prove that you are four years Separated from your spouse? are there any exceptions to this rule?

Abi · 01-03-2012 11:45am

hondasam wrote: »

Do you have to prove that you are four years Separated from your spouse? are there any exceptions to this rule?

I'll drop you a PM about this Sam

hondasam · 01-03-2012 2:55pm

Abi wrote: »

I'll drop you a PM about this Sam

Cheers pet

snowdaze · 08-04-2012 1:00pm

I am doing my divorce on my own without a solicitor or DIY company. The court clerk has been most helpful and fingers crossed it will all get done for less than €50. There is just registered post costs when you serve papers on your ex and also a commissioner for oaths will charge about €10 to sign your affidavits.
I will let ye know if it goes as smoothly as I hope it will.

Piliger · 12-04-2012 7:52pm

OP - I may sound cynical but ... she may agree now, but when she sits in front of her own solicitor (after being urged to by her friends and family) she may change her mind.
I would suggest you find a good period when relations are smooth and agree to visit a joint solicitor and put some kind of written agreement in place before starting down the legal path.

snowdaze · 18-04-2012 8:09pm

snowdaze wrote: »

I am doing my divorce on my own without a solicitor or DIY company. The court clerk has been most helpful and fingers crossed it will all get done for less than €50. There is just registered post costs when you serve papers on your ex and also a commissioner for oaths will charge about €10 to sign your affidavits.
I will let ye know if it goes as smoothly as I hope it will.

Well, I waited the 10 days from serving notice on my ex and now I have been back to the commissioner for oaths and got the next part of the paperwork witnessed and sent in to the court (with the receipt for registered delivery attached to it).

Went to meet the court clerk again today so he gave me a date for the divorce hearing...May 9th ...and he is emailing me the next two parts of the paperwork which I must fill in, get witnessed and serve one on the ex and post other to the court.

Then I just wait until May 9th...take the day off work and fingers crossed all will go well.

There was a letter I sent with the first lot of paperwork to the ex ....which he was to sign and return to say he does not contest the divorce basically...well, of course he didn't bother doing that. I understand that the judge would prefer if that was returned....but it still shouldn't hold things up.

I am hoping that ex will not turn up at the court...and all will go well...

Will keep ye updated with the outcome and total costs,

Snowdaze x

Abi · 19-04-2012 12:16pm

I really hope it works out for you Snowdaze, best of luck on the 9th, you'll have to come back and tell us how you get on

irishjay · 19-04-2012 2:26pm

Abi wrote: »

Hi

DIY divorces are only inexpensive so long as your divorce is going to be clean cut. In other words, all issues surrounding the divorce has already been arranged, such as property divided, maintenance set in place, and access for any children arranged. You must also be living no less than 4 years apart to apply for a divorce.

I was in a district court waiting room where a guy got chatting to me, and he said he went for one of the DIY divorces, and it was the best thing he ever did. However, he did say that there were no complications in his case, so it worked out.

My advice to you would be to get all that sorted out before you apply for your DIY divorce

im away four years plus and my concern is its not legaly seperated .. however ive a legal court order of paying maitenience .etc and my address is officialy changed. on the live regester etc.. any advice be great on the 4 year apart thing would be great. .

snowdaze · 19-04-2012 6:04pm

Abi wrote: »

I really hope it works out for you Snowdaze, best of luck on the 9th, you'll have to come back and tell us how you get on

thanks Abi - will get back to ye with the outcome:)

Wisco · 21-04-2012 11:53am

goodluck snowdaze, I'm hoping that'll be me in the not too distant future. Keep us posted please!

snowdaze · 01-05-2012 12:41am

Got a letter today from ex's new solicitor demanding a new access order be built into the divorce before he will consent to it!!! There already is an access order since the Judicial separation but it didn't work out and he hasn't kept in touch with the kids for over 2 years!
There is more crap in the letter too but I won't bore ye!
Just over a week until court and I suppose I was being too positive to think there would be no upset en route...
Will keep ye updated!
Snowdaze:)

Abi · 01-05-2012 8:12am

snowdaze wrote: »

Got a letter today from ex's new solicitor demanding a new access order be built into the divorce before he will consent to it!!! There already is an access order since the Judicial separation but it didn't work out and he hasn't kept in touch with the kids for over 2 years!
There is more crap in the letter too but I won't bore ye!
Just over a week until court and I suppose I was being too positive to think there would be no upset en route...
Will keep ye updated!
Snowdaze:)

Feck anyway Snowdaze, I was hoping you would be home and dry with this. What is he looking to change?

snowdaze · 09-05-2012 9:00pm

It went terribly!!!

well - I had my day in court....long wait and got in eventually...

My ex turned up yet he had not got an entry of appearance lodged with the court in advance...so that was the first thing that was wrong.

He did not have a solicitor either but said he wanted one and would be applying for legal aid - judge asked him why he hadnt done this already!!!!!

He said he was not happy to agree to divorce..he wanted access sorted out!!!! Yawn yawn...he has not seen the kids in 2 years and only responded to my letter a few weeks ago saying he wanted it when I asked if he was interested because it is something my son would like....

It makes my blood boil.....

It looks like that will be the end of the nice simple DIY divorce for me! It will only work for non- contested divorces. I thought because I already have the judicial separation that it would be simple...but I should not have been so naieve and thought that my ex would be co-operative!

So- that is it for now. My ex who works on the side pays no taxes no maintenance will get legal aid and make my life hell all over again...

not a happy bunny tonight...

Snowdaze x

Abi · 10-05-2012 12:08pm

snowdaze wrote: »

It went terribly!!!

well - I had my day in court....long wait and got in eventually...

My ex turned up yet he had not got an entry of appearance lodged with the court in advance...so that was the first thing that was wrong.

He did not have a solicitor either but said he wanted one and would be applying for legal aid - judge asked him why he hadnt done this already!!!!!

He said he was not happy to agree to divorce..he wanted access sorted out!!!! Yawn yawn...he has not seen the kids in 2 years and only responded to my letter a few weeks ago saying he wanted it when I asked if he was interested because it is something my son would like....

It makes my blood boil.....

It looks like that will be the end of the nice simple DIY divorce for me! It will only work for non- contested divorces. I thought because I already have the judicial separation that it would be simple...but I should not have been so naieve and thought that my ex would be co-operative!

So- that is it for now. My ex who works on the side pays no taxes no maintenance will get legal aid and make my life hell all over again...

not a happy bunny tonight...

Snowdaze x

Aw snowdaze, I'm so sorry to hear that it all went so wrong >.<

I was really hoping he wouldnt throw any spanners in the works for you, and whats worse is - legal aid have a list going out the window of clients. hes going to have to get onto that straight away (unlikely) or this will never come to a close =/

My ex keeps throwing in spanners, and like yourself it makes your blood boil. I just want to put an end to it all and get on with my life.

You were saying you have a judicial separation? well what access was arranged at the time?

Try not to get too disheartened over it, I've a divorce celebration to focus on, so when the bad days hit I just think - Lake Garda, glass of wine, good food - it will happen!

Stay determined and as positive as you can hon

x

Wisco · 11-05-2012 1:20pm

Sorry to hear that Snowdaze.
Any interactions I've had with my ex put my blood pressure up 100% too- in fact, think they must be pals- working but no tax etc while still wanted money from me :mad:
Hopefully it will get sorted soon for you. The frustration of never getting the result you want is so disheartening.
Unlike you, there are no kids in the picture for me, so hoping I can still do DIY route but afraid ex will still manage to muck it up somehow

terminator2 · 14-06-2012 11:14am

Abi wrote: »

I'll drop you a PM about this Sam

could you do the same for me abi

vic_dublin · 09-11-2012 6:46pm

terminator2 wrote: »

could you do the same for me abi

cold you do the same for me Abi.thanks a lot.

Abi · 09-11-2012 7:56pm

vic_dublin wrote: »

cold you do the same for me Abi.thanks a lot.

Sure, en route

vic_dublin · 09-11-2012 10:16pm

Abi wrote: »

Sure, en route

Thanks a lot Abi

LegacyUser · 27-01-2014 3:22pm

Has anyone gone through a diy divorce? My ex wife is sending me papers and apparently I have 10 days to respond. What documentation should I have prepared or does anybody know?? Any advice much appreciated.

stargazer 68 · 27-02-2014 1:10pm

Didnt want to start a new thread on this subject.

Ex and I have agreed on terms etc. We have no property and our children are teenagers so no problem with access etc. Finance has been sorted between us and we are both in agreement with the arrangement that we have come to.

I know there are a lot of companies doing DIY divorce services but do I need them or can I do it myself?

Ken. · 27-02-2014 1:44pm

There was a segment on the newstalk breakfast show talking about it. If you and your ex are both representing yourselves you can go into the court clerks office and get the forms. Be warned. The lady on the show said
"Dublin is the only court district measuring divorce wait times in weeks. Every other jurisdiction is measuring in months and in the case of Wexford ( and I think she said either Wicklow or Waterford) its up to 3 years.

Wisco · 03-03-2014 3:19pm

I did mine myself and it was relatively cheap. Location will determine how quickly it all goes in my experience. My county only has family court sittings a couple times a year, so if you're not all ready for the next sitting you could be waiting 6 months or more. I know when I filed my papers (I used Divorce on a Shoestring, by Micheline McCormack) as a guideline (you can get it Amazon, or if you have access to the UCD libraries, they have it). It's bit out of date now, but between that and the person in the clerk's office, I got everything sorted. The forms are available online or, as I did, use that book as a template. Things did take longer than I though- I had imagined that when I handed in my forms, they'd be stamped and handed back to me so I could post them to my ex the same day, but there was a few weeks waiting period for all of them as the clerk looked at them to make sure they were correct and then filed them.
I had also applied for legal aid, but didn't want to wait for them and as it happens, finally got the letter offering me an appointment a month or two after the divorce was granted!
I must say though, my situation was a pretty simple one- no kids, no house, no pension, and we had a separation agreement in place.
Good luck to all going through it- I know I did a happy dance when I was walking out of that court room!!!

dollydimples82 · 03-03-2014 3:52pm

Abi, can you pm me on this also??
Do you have to prove that you are four years Separated from your spouse? are there any exceptions to this rule?

desbrook · 03-03-2014 5:45pm

dollydimples82 wrote: »

Abi, can you pm me on this also??
Do you have to prove that you are four years Separated from your spouse? are there any exceptions to this rule?

You have to be four years separated OUT OF THE PREVIOUS FIVE .

This means in theory that if for example you are two years separated you can give things another go with your ex for up to a year without the clock going back to zero . Eg - Mary and Jack split on 1st Jan 2005 . On 1st Jan 2007 they reconcile for three months but split again on 1st April 2007 . They are only delayed by the three months and can divorce from 1st April 2009 .

AFAIK you are asked to swear on oath that you have been living separately for the required period as well as that there is no chance of reconciliation . Perjury is a serious offence and could in theory overturn the divorce terms in future years .

annlouise · 18-03-2014 1:17pm

My partner has just done a DIY divorce which cost him €25! Him and his ex-wife went to mediation in their local community centre which is free of charge. At that they agreed custody of their child and maintainence. They both have a house of their own and it was agreed that neither had a claim on the others home. Once everything was agreed he emailed the courts.ie website and was sent all the forms, the mediation agreement formed the basis for the Affidavit of Welfare and the Affidavit of Means. A solicitor charged him the €25 to sign the documents and he lodged them in court just before they broke for the Christmas holidays. He represented himself in court in mid-Feb, his ex wouldnt attend, and was granted a divorce. They were seperated 12 years and are on speaking terms so once everything can be agreed before appearing before the judge a cheap divorce is very achievable.

G&T22 · 19-03-2014 5:12pm

I am also considering going the DIY route. Have a deed of separation (not a court order) no property or children. Ex is unemployed & lives at home with parents. I work part time and have a 1 yr old and live with my new partner. Ex can be bitter though last time ex was in contact he seemed ok as he was looking for something. I wanted to ask peoples opinion if contacting him to inform him that I would be starting divorce proceedings by DIY divorce is a good or bad idea??

stargazer 68 · 20-03-2014 10:28am

G&T22 wrote: »

I am also considering going the DIY route. Have a deed of separation (not a court order) no property or children. Ex is unemployed & lives at home with parents. I work part time and have a 1 yr old and live with my new partner. Ex can be bitter though last time ex was in contact he seemed ok as he was looking for something. I wanted to ask peoples opinion if contacting him to inform him that I would be starting divorce proceedings by DIY divorce is a good or bad idea??

Do you think he will cooperate? You still both need to do affadavit of means etc. If he is bitter and doesn't cooperate you may find you can't go the DIY route.

LegacyUser · 20-03-2014 1:42pm

Dovies wrote: »

Do you think he will cooperate? You still both need to do affadavit of means etc. If he is bitter and doesn't cooperate you may find you can't go the DIY route.

I honestly dont know

Wisco · 27-03-2014 6:29pm

Actually, I think it's just you that has to do the affidavit of means since you're the one initiating things, unless you are looking for any sort of settlement from him or if he's looking for anything from you. I did DIY and had a similar situation to yours (we had separation agreement, no kids, house, or pension)- I had a little contact with him and told him I was doing things myself, etc. The only thing you need cooperation for is that he sends a letter that he agrees to the whole thing if I recall correctly. (I pre wrote the one for my ex and just had him sign it and post back to me and the courts- put in addressed, stamped envelopes, the whole lot)
I think I spent about 50 euro at most for having forms witnessed, registered post, etc.
I was quite torn about whether or not to contact my ex before starting things, but he actually responded pretty well in my case, despite some previous bitterness. I created a separate email account just for communicating with him so that I wouldn't have to disclose my mobile or other contact info.
I think it will make your life easier if you know for certain he's not going to object and then you can tell him when to expect forms in the post, etc, but even if you're not on good terms I think it's worth it to try things out anyway- you won't have lost anything except a bit of time and a bit of postage fees.

stargazer 68 · 28-03-2014 10:05am

Wisco wrote: »

Actually, I think it's just you that has to do the affidavit of means since you're the one initiating things, unless you are looking for any sort of settlement from him or if he's looking for anything from you. .

I have had all my forms returned from the DIY service to be notarised etc and there is an affadavit of means for him to complete as well as pension order.

shamdrog63 · 08-04-2014 11:08am

Apologies if this has been explained before on another post but I couldn,t find it.My partner has been separated from her husband for 10 years.She has lived with me for all that time.She is now thinking of seeking a DIY Divorce.Her children are all over 18 and she has not had any income in maintenence or employment in the 10 years.What I want to know is do you still submit a affidavit of means with nothing on it and an affidavit of welfare (also with nothing on it)

stargazer 68 · 08-04-2014 11:18am

shamdrog63 wrote: »

.Her children are all over 18 and she has not had any income in maintenence or employment in the 10 years.What I want to know is do you still submit a affidavit of means with nothing on it and an affidavit of welfare (also with nothing on it)

As far as I know yes. She has to have some kind of income and expenditure which goes on the means. And she still has children so their addresses etc have to go on the welfare.

desbrook · 08-04-2014 1:45pm

shamdrog63 wrote: »

Apologies if this has been explained before on another post but I couldn,t find it.My partner has been separated from her husband for 10 years.She has lived with me for all that time.She is now thinking of seeking a DIY Divorce.Her children are all over 18 and she has not had any income in maintenence or employment in the 10 years.What I want to know is do you still submit a affidavit of means with nothing on it and an affidavit of welfare (also with nothing on it)

She must have means - ie you. She also must have expenditure.

desbrook · 10-04-2014 12:55pm

desbrook wrote: »

She must have means - ie you. She also must have expenditure.

To clarify - you must be supporting her. Therefore the money you give her directly or save her by providing accommodation , light heat food etc is a factor .

DIY Divorces

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