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Man arrested for sex act on a......

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 80 ✭✭horseplay


    darkman2 wrote: »
    :eek: It's him!!!!!! Sooooooooo was it as good for the horse as it was for you?

    tbh none of this would have got out if i'd only called the next day . . . doh! !


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,013 ✭✭✭kincsem


    Feck sake .... walk, trot, canter, gallop


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Did no one even think to ask Sarah Jessica Parker after her ordea.....Oh now I get it. Matthew Broderick! :)

    Edit and feck you, above poster :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,156 ✭✭✭Iwannahurl


    He could be done for cruelty to animules as well, horses being sentient beings.

    What about inanimate objects though?

    Such as a bicycle?

    I kid you not. Twas the dhrink, your honour.


    Bike sex man placed on probation


    A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

    Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

    Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

    Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

    Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

    "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

    "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

    Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

    Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

    Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 299 ✭✭Metallergy


    so many mule variations up my sleeve she'll be supping from my trough for some time to come.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    darkman2 wrote: »
    ..Weird.

    That's an understatement if there ever was one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 299 ✭✭Metallergy


    she likes the trough stuff.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 265 ✭✭joewicklow


    Sex with a horse? I bet his arse was sore after that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 169 ✭✭alandublin15


    aaahhhh just when you thought humanity had hit rock bottom
    funny how theres always a new low


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Iwannahurl wrote: »
    He could be done for cruelty to animules as well, horses being sentient beings.

    What about inanimate objects though?

    Such as a bicycle?

    I kid you not. Twas the dhrink, your honour.





    I didn't realise you could get arrested for bein bike-sexual :eek:

    I err...I...must readjust my saddle.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 154 ✭✭CharlesHaughey


    If the horse did the opposite, would the horse have gotten arrested?

    I mean with dogs trying to hump people and all that...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,771 ✭✭✭michael999999


    wonder did he make the horse wear the saddle?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,494 ✭✭✭citizen_p


    animal cruelty?

    sure....the horse could of been having a great time
    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 299 ✭✭Metallergy


    did he come back for sloppy seconds




  • Registered Users Posts: 303 ✭✭Debthree


    i hope she's not pregnant. It'll be a bitch trying to get the lone parents book for her little half man, half mule - manule??


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,480 ✭✭✭Blondini


    I must admit I was in court the other day for having sex with a dog ..

    The Judge said "How low can you get?"

    I said "A Jack Russell your honour"

    Oh Yeah.
    Word


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,810 ✭✭✭Calibos


    Heard yer man had to get his stomach pumped afterwards...Straight from the horses mouth.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Guill


    darkman2 wrote: »
    ......horse!




    Weird.



    Weird for you maybe.


    Get down of your high.......Horse!


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Iwannahurl wrote: »
    He could be done for cruelty to animules as well, horses being sentient beings.

    What about inanimate objects though?

    Such as a bicycle?

    I kid you not. Twas the dhrink, your honour.


    Bike sex man placed on probation


    Jesus. That brings a whole new meaning to this song:



    I want to ride my bicycle ..

    You gotta feel sorry for whoever caught them. How exactly would you even describe that to the cops? "Er. Yeah. I saw someone riding a horse. No. Not that kind. The other .. yeah."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭Cú Giobach


    I wikied zoophilia after reading this thread.
    The Kinsey reports controversially rated the percentage of people who had sexual interaction with animals at some point in their lives as 8% for men and 3.6% for women, and claimed it was 40–50 percent in people living near farms......
    Hmmm..... a little something to ponder on a sunday drive through the country tomorrow.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭Remmy


    NSFW but funny!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,376 ✭✭✭Anyone


    His defence counsel pleaded to the judge for leniency owing to the fact he is unemployed, his first wife died in a car crash in Paris and he is married to the victim.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭knird evol


    unbridled lust


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,128 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    KeithM89 wrote: »
    In before Matthew Broderick jokes...

    What's the big deal? Matthew Broderick has been doing it for years!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭Remmy


    Oranage2 wrote: »
    What's the big deal? Matthew Broderick has been doing it for years!

    Bravo Sir!


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