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Sure fire signs you live next to a boardsie

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  • 07-11-2016 12:56am
    #1
    mansize
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,521 ✭✭✭✭


    1. They live alone
    2. They own a lot of surveillance equipment (sensors, camera at side of property dash cam)
    3. They have high speed internet
    4. They don't leave the house much and only callers are Delivery vans, couriers etc
    5.They avoid social contact and have some form of aspergers
    6. They were bullied at school
    7. They are tight, they call it frugal
    8. They think the world is either far too right wing, or far too left wing
    9. They watch obscure films/shows and shun anything popular
    10. They have a distinct faint lingering bo smell


«1

Comments

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    #2
    mahamageehad
    Registered Users Posts: 4,673 ✭✭✭mahamageehad


    Is that what your neighbours say about you OP?


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    #3
    mansize
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,521 ✭✭✭✭mansize


    mahamageehad wrote: »
    Is that what your neighbours say about you OP?


    I have it on file!


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    #4
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    They watch the Late Late Show and listen to LiveLine, but only ironically, so they can hate-post in the TV/Radio forum. :D


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    #5
    stevek93
    Registered Users Posts: 3,088 ✭✭✭stevek93


    Damn cyclists!


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    #6
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,545 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    mansize wrote: »
    I have it on file!

    In a filing kab-ee-net...:P


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    #7
    dark crystal
    Registered Users Posts: 10,962 ✭✭✭✭dark crystal


    They hate cats, children and feminists in equal measures!


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    #8
    TheDriver
    Registered Users Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭TheDriver


    They look like their avatars......


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    #9
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    When they've got the same collection of random junk in their garage as you do, because "feck it, someone has posted a mis-price in Bargain Alerts, and I know I'll probably never use this slow cooker/drone/toolkit/speedboat but sure amn't I getting it for 93% off and if Amazon/Argos/Littlewoods honour it I'll get a great kick for getting one over on the man!"


    You'll probably also spend your holidays together on the same Secret Flying package to Madagascar that you scored for 90 quid because you're flying open-jaw from Farranfore and returning to Gdansk.


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    #10
    mzungu
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,306 Mod ✭✭✭✭mzungu


    A faded "Free the Garlic Man" poster on the living room window.


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    #11
    Fleawuss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,681 ✭✭✭Fleawuss


    mansize wrote: »
    1. They live alone YES
    2. They own a lot of surveillance equipment (sensors, camera at side of property dash cam)
    3. They have high speed internet YES
    4. They don't leave the house much and only callers are Delivery vans, couriers etc
    5.They avoid social contact and have some form of aspergers
    6. They were bullied at school
    7. They are tight, they call it frugal
    8. They think the world is either far too right wing, or far too left wing
    9. They watch obscure films/shows and shun anything popular
    10. They have a distinct faint lingering bo smel    l

    2/10. Refine your analytics Mister.


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    #12
    VladamirP
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 193 ✭✭VladamirP


    TheDriver wrote: »
    They look like their avatars......

    How are you doing darling?, will you enjoy few days off?


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    #13
    jacksie66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,988 ✭✭✭jacksie66


    This post has been deleted.


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    #14
    ShadyAcres
    Registered Users Posts: 212 ✭✭ShadyAcres


    mansize wrote:
    1. They live alone 2. They own a lot of surveillance equipment (sensors, camera at side of property dash cam) 3. They have high speed internet 4. They don't leave the house much and only callers are Delivery vans, couriers etc 5.They avoid social contact and have some form of aspergers 6. They were bullied at school 7. They are tight, they call it frugal 8. They think the world is either far too right wing, or far too left wing 9. They watch obscure films/shows and shun anything popular 10. They have a distinct faint lingering bo smell

    They hate people on the dole is another one I notice around here.


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    #15
    gossamer
    Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭gossamer


    If they *do* venture outside they have to wear a brown paper bag over their head. And for the even uglier one's, carry a bell shouting "unclean, unclean!" to warn any oncoming normal folk.


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    #16
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    They never annoy you/put in and out....prefer to vent their murderous anger about you online

    Possibly own a smartphone also


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    #17
    Dr Jakub
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 314 ✭✭Dr Jakub


    If male; they are overweight, unhygienic, wear metal t-shirts, three quarter length shorts, finger less gloves and high school shooter trench coats. Subscribes to extreme left or right wing opinions. High chance he is a virgin. You only see him leave the house when heads to the off licence.

    If female; obese/anorexic. Hates men yet extremely promiscuous. Likely has mental health issues. Uninorically blogs about how the patriarchy rapes them everyday. Has daddy issues.








    I kid. I'm sure everyone here is normal and well adjusted.


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    #18
    VladamirP
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 193 ✭✭VladamirP


    I'm getting off this site, you all seem like a pack of weirdos.


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    #19
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    mansize wrote: »
    1. They live alone
    2. They own a lot of surveillance equipment (sensors, camera at side of property dash cam)
    3. They have high speed internet
    4. They don't leave the house much and only callers are Delivery vans, couriers etc
    5.They avoid social contact and have some form of aspergers
    6. They were bullied at school
    7. They are tight, they call it frugal
    8. They think the world is either far too right wing, or far too left wing
    9. They watch obscure films/shows and shun anything popular
    10. They have a distinct faint lingering bo smell

    0/10. So I suppose I may just close my account .


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    #20
    Birneybau
    Registered Users Posts: 10,229 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Their houses smell of burning p!ss.


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    #21
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    mansize wrote: »
    1. They live alone
    2. They own a lot of surveillance equipment (sensors, camera at side of property dash cam)
    3. They have high speed internet
    4. They don't leave the house much and only callers are Delivery vans, couriers etc
    5.They avoid social contact and have some form of aspergers
    6. They were bullied at school
    7. They are tight, they call it frugal
    8. They think the world is either far too right wing, or far too left wing
    9. They watch obscure films/shows and shun anything popular
    10. They have a distinct faint lingering bo smell

    Bitter OP?


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    #22
    mansize
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,521 ✭✭✭✭mansize


    liking some of the suggestions guys, also seems to have struck a nerve with others...


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    #23
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,590 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    I'd guess that most (around 80%) of boardsies are completely normal people who wouldn't say boo to your face but feel free to let rip with their closely held opinions on the forums.

    The other 20% are socially inept tech geeks who relish being keyboard warriors.


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    #24
    buried
    Registered Users Posts: 9,680 ✭✭✭buried


    The front bonnets of their cars are a dented bloody mess from them bleedin cyclists

    "You have disgraced yourselves again" - W. B. Yeats



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    #25
    tayto lover
    Registered Users Posts: 51,504 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    Broken front sitting-room window and keyboard lying outside it with lots of pulled-out hair attached.


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    #26
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    They have a boards account.


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    #27
    mansize
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,521 ✭✭✭✭mansize


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    They have a boards account.

    How can you know your neighbour has a boards account?

    Its not something I openly admit to lol!


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    #28
    maudgonner
    Registered Users Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    If it's a certain kind of boardsie they will:
    • Throw a temper tantrum one night and storm out in a huff, probably try to burn the house down behind them.
    • Return within days, maybe hours, having changed their name and appearance completely.
    • You'll find it fairly easy to identify them though, because as soon as they open their mouths you'll recognise the way they speak.
    • However if you call them on this they will deny it emphatically and say they've only just moved in and have never even visited the country until now.
    This cycle will repeat quite frequently.


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    #29
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    mansize wrote: »
    How can you know your neighbour has a boards account?

    I peek through her window with my binoculars.


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    #30
    blackbox
    Registered Users Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭blackbox


    dark crystal wrote: »
    They hate cats, children and feminists in equal measures!

    Rubbish - they love cats, especially on videos.


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    #31
    mansize
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,521 ✭✭✭✭mansize


    maudgonner wrote: »
    If it's a certain kind of boardsie they will:
    • Throw a temper tantrum one night and storm out in a huff, probably try to burn the house down behind them.
    • Return within days, maybe hours, having changed their name and appearance completely.
    • You'll find it fairly easy to identify them though, because as soon as they open their mouths you'll recognise the way they speak.
    • However if you call them on this they will deny it emphatically and say they've only just moved in and have never even visited the country until now.
    This cycle will repeat quite frequently.

    Subposting


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