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Strange habit that needs kicking.

  • 09-07-2013 7:25pm
    #1
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭


    Right well i'm 17 and i play with spoons.
    When i say that I play with spoons what i mean is that i pickup a soup spoon, run around the place, twirl the spoon in my hand and daydream.
    I do it everyday and it takes up a lot of my spare time. When i say I daydream what i do is I invent stories and play them out in my mind, like a screenplay or something. While running around the place with a spoon like a total loon.

    My family are numb to this by now, I've been doing it since the age of 4. My earliest memory is that I was running around the place with a fork and my gran grabbed me by the hand, took the fork and handed me a spoon saying that its safer.

    My immediate family are the only ones who know i do this and don't even bat an eyelid at it.

    I don't know why i do it, i'm more than capable of daydreaming without running around with a spoon.
    Whenever i've spent nights away from home i've always found a quite space and done it to calm myself.

    Other than this i'm more or less normal, i want to stress that.

    I've tried breaking the habit but never gone more than a couple of days without relapsing. The reason i want to stop now id because i was doing it last night, I was in a land of my own and i suddenly looked up and saw my elderly neighbour staring at me with her mouth open. AWKS.

    So anyone have any ideas on why i feel the need to this? Any similar habits yourself? Any tips on how to break it?

    Thanks!


Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    When I was younger, I used to play like this. In my head there would be explosions and danger and bullets and cool stuff, while in reality I would be running to and fro muttering *boom* *bang* *ratatatatatat* and so on and so forth. I stopped maybe when I was .. 13 or 14, I believe. It was the most fun I had growing up!

    There's nothing wrong with having an active imagination, but maybe find different ways to put energy into it? Have you tried writing? Or painting/sketching/drawing? Possibly animating? Heck, even look into designing computer games!


  • #3
    Raminahobbin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,983 ✭✭✭Raminahobbin


    Right. I think this one is definitely a first :P

    I don't really see the need for you to stop necessarily unless it's making you unhappy- it sounds like you do it to de-stress and relax. If your only concern is what other people think then I'd say just work on your confidence and try not to care or be more discrete about it. We all have our own quirks.

    My brother is 21, and still sits at the top of the stairs with his little army men figures and a makeshift goal post. I have no idea what he does/acts out, but we're all completely used to the sounds and whispers that comes from him while he's at it. We just step over him if we need to get past. I know he uses this time to work things out and relax, and we've all accepted him for it.

    So unless you yourself are very unhappy with yourself for doing it OP, I wouldn't worry! You'll probably find you need to do it less as you get older and grow into yourself more.


  • #4
    Blinder
    Registered Users Posts: 243 ✭✭Blinder


    Raminahobbin wrote: »
    So unless you yourself are very unhappy with yourself for doing it OP, I wouldn't worry!

    Agree completely with this. OP, you are not harming anyone, and so the only reason that you need to stop is if you want to.

    If you want to break this habit: try first without a spoon. Don't lose your way to relax, so try to do your thing without the spoon. If that still means walking around talking to yourself, who cares? Eventually you can build this up into getting into the same state without moving.


  • #5
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭FiachDubh


    Thanks for the replys :)

    Yep, i've tried doing it without the spoon not because i want to break the habit but out of necessity, at times its hard to find spoons because i always take them, play with them and then forget where i dropped them :P we're farmers and there's defiantly a few dozen spoons scattered across the yard and fields. I always either find a suitable stick or improvise. Its funny actually, my brother is so used to seeing spoons in places they shouldn't be he'll only use a tea spoon when eating cereal for fear of germs :)

    What i was thinking of when i put up this thread was college, where I'll prob be living with a new set of people. i can hardly go around muttering, laughing and occasionally crying with a spoon in my hand, I imagine if someone who isn't used to me saw me doing that they'd worry for their safety.


  • #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Do you see many people outside your family or do you have many friends, OP? Perhaps once you move out and start meeting new people, you'll grow out of it that way.


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  • #7
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭FiachDubh


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Do you see many people outside your family or do you have many friends, OP? Perhaps once you move out and start meeting new people, you'll grow out of it that way.

    I was afraid of questions like this, which is why i said i was mostly normal :P

    Yep I have great friends, I go out at the weekend, I'm part of a few clubs, and i have other more normal pastimes.

    And then i have the spoon :)


  • #8
    Catari Jaguar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,649 ✭✭✭Catari Jaguar


    I don't have any advice for you, just I think this is the cutest, most endearing thing. I lolled at your posts, you seem to have a light hearted attitude towards it, which is a good thing, so continue to not make a big deal out of it. If you slip up & relapse, get seen and someone says something just react in your good humoured way & other people will too. Like someone else said, it'll just be your quirk. Your amazingly weird, adorable quirk.

    My own brother used to love silky material (he used to rub the ribbon on my mam's nightie when she breast fed) and he would cut the labels out of his clothes & carry them in his pockets as a security blanket. Turned 30 last year & still doing it. :D


  • #9
    mariaalice
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,618 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    Instead of giving up the spoon all at one why not try using something smaller and then smaller again until you have it down to something like a match stick which would be much more easy to conceal, lots of people talk to them selves and are perfectly normal, it seems to be a stress reliever for them.


  • #10
    Maga
    Closed Accounts Posts: 91 ✭✭Maga


    For what it's worth, I have to agree with Jaguar - I also thought your posts super cute and adorable!! I am laughing out loud at your "and then...I have the spoon" :D

    Your posts sound like... Zooey Deschanel in New Girl-kind of personality :)

    As others said, if it's not harming anyone, makes you relaxed and you manage to come across so charming - all good! :)


  • #11
    LadyMayBelle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,095 ✭✭✭LadyMayBelle


    Some people do stuff to help them calm...I twiddle my hair, someone else might meditate, some listen to music, some cut themselves, some fiddle with drumsticks or pens..you twiddle a spoon..which appears to be far less damaging and distressing than, say, cutting yourself or whatever else.

    Do you keep one in your pocket like, and if not, when you dont have access to a spoon do you use something else or not twiddle at all?

    Apologies for the excessive use of the word twiddle :)


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  • #12
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭FiachDubh


    LadyMayBelle wrote: »

    Do you keep one in your pocket like, and if not, when you dont have access to a spoon do you use something else or not twiddle at all?

    Apologies for the excessive use of the word twiddle :)

    Haha i used to call it "spooning" before I found out what spooning actually was :) . Do you know the wooden clothes hangers they use for jeans? I rip them apart and us the different sections as spoon substitutes :) But it doesn't come to that most of the time because I have a few hidey holes around the place.

    OK so starting right now i'm going to "twiddle" (as good a term as any other) without the use of any spoon or spoon substitute. Just me shaking an empty hand,which now that i think of it, will look like the bus wanker salute :) . I'll see how it goes :)

    Thanks guys.


  • #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Sometimes, when I think I'm alone and hanging up clothes, I would take a hanger, pretend it's a bow and arrow and shoot at things in my head.

    It's OK to be a little weird or quirky, OP. It makes you you.


  • #14
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,385 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    OP, Only for you are only 17 I would have thought you were my 36 year old cousin ;)

    He always had his spoon and would run laps around his sitting room. And like your family, we never batted an eye at him - it was just his "thing". I was talking to him recently about it, as my son does the laps (without the spoon!) He laughed and said he still does laps, but has let go of the spoon. He said he can't understand why others don't do laps, and he does his best thinking while walking in circles. I don't know if he's an official genius, but he is super intelligent, and just unable to stand still!

    Does it upsets you? Do you think you are getting to an age now where you need to stop? It might be something that you grow out of - or it might be something that will take a conscious effort from you to stop.

    I'm not of much help to you - but just so you know that you are not absolutely alone... there is at least one other of you out there!!! (and he's doing pretty well for himself :D )


  • #15
    FouxDaFaFa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,850 ✭✭✭FouxDaFaFa


    I wish I was as creative as I used to be as a child.

    We get that drained out of us as we get older and society makes us adopt "adult" behaviour.

    There's nothing wrong with what you're doing, OP. (Although if you're burning through spoons like that do try to do it with something more disposable).

    You're pretty funny judging by your posts here and obviously have no problem with your imagination, you should try writing all these ideas down.


  • #16
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    Op its just your little quirk. :)

    Nothing to worry about. If you are happy doing it then that's ok. You're post is one of my favorite I've read in a while :)

    I'm 22 and I still have a colouring book and a pack of crayons. It's one of my quirks for when I'm stressed out. I actually find it really relaxing :o Seriously my stress goes away like that! :)


  • #17
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Dude, they're absolutely nothing wrong with you :)

    How many middle aged people who grew up on Star Wars tried to use "The Force" in an elavator/too lazy to pick something up/ kind of whishful thinking. It's just an active imagination.

    Everybody has it. Sure, when you see adults trying to entertain children, you see how childish we all are :)


  • #18
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭FiachDubh


    N'awww :) I'm absolutely delighted I put up this thread! My die hard habit has been redeemed :)
    Thank you to everyone that has given their thoughts, ye have truly made my week. Whenever ye're feeling down over the next few days- remember that there's a teenager leaping around the place with a spoon thanks to your kind words :D


  • #19
    Irish_Elect_Eng
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,260 ✭✭✭Irish_Elect_Eng


    Love this thread, you seem such a genuine person, with and interesting quirk.

    As for your concerns about moving in with others, if your new flatmates are an average bunch at least one of them will have stranger habbits.

    If you do want to mask the spooning, tell them you are working on an interpretative dance performance and that yon need a load of practice.

    Have you considered using a Spoon as part of a key ring/chain to ensure that you have a spoon to hand. Nobody pays much attention to a person twiddling with their Keys.


  • #20
    Manco
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭Manco


    Tearing paper is my own particular eccentricity, I dunno, something about it is compulsive. Forcing myself to kick the habit, at least with spoons you don't build up litter!


  • #21
    homemadecider
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,858 ✭✭✭homemadecider


    Going against the grain here, but honestly OP this just sounds mental to me. If I met a guy who did this in the evenings I would be very freaked out. Retaining your childhood innocence and playfulness is great, but we all need to grow up and mature at some point. Your behaviour would worry me, in all honesty.


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  • #22
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭FiachDubh


    homemadecider wrote: »
    Going against the grain here, but honestly OP this just sounds mental to me. If I met a guy who did this in the evenings I would be very freaked out. Retaining your childhood innocence and playfulness is great, but we all need to grow up and mature at some point. Your behaviour would worry me, in all honesty.

    Uh-Oh, we have a rebel :)

    I understand where you're coming from, my parents and even I used to think that I'd grow out of it. But that hasn't happened yet and doesn't seem likely to happen of its own accord. Since I live on a farm I have ample space to go roaming with a spoon, which is probably why its developed the way it has. I can visibly hide it, even though they all know that's what I do. In an enclosed environment like a city It''ll be much harder to keep hidden so maybe it'll go away out of necessity at that stage.

    It might help that i plan to do a course and further study in psychology, perhaps any future class mates that should find out would be more interested than unnerved :P

    Thanks for the honesty.


  • #23
    FiachDubh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 72 ✭✭FiachDubh


    I gave the thought of re-posting in this thread some consideration, and came to the conclusion that feck it I'm worth the hate from resurrecting threads :P

    I went off the spoon for Lent! broke about 6 times but if I can hold strong tomorrow I'll have a chain of 11 unbroken days of steadfast Lenten Promise keeping :D
    The Easter Eggs will come with a dollop of self-satisfaction this year :D


  • #24
    Chara1001
    Registered Users Posts: 291 ✭✭Chara1001


    Nah op i think your habit is lovely, lent is nearly over- get those spoons ready


  • #25
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It's all very well indulging your quirk (and it is fairly out there on the quirky scale!) with people who've known you to do this since you were a kid - but you really need to grow out of it when you move out of home.

    If you do this when you go to college / have a house share, that's all you'll be known for. I guarantee you, few people will both looking past the odd 'spoon guy' to get to know you, work with you, or befriend you. It's a very childish habit that will be detrimental to you forming adult relationships in your future.

    I really think you should leave this habit where it belongs - in your distant past - and concentrate on adult relationships.


  • #26
    amtc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭amtc


    my very best friend in the world in nearly 50, and talks to himself, and answers himself back in a different voice. He then debates with himself, and this other person and does minutes of their meetings. He is quite sane and has a top level job.

    I don't find the talking too weird but I did think it was a little odd when he convened a board meeting recently. That said, it's not doing any harm!


  • #27
    maroon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 119 ✭✭maroon


    Hi OP

    Did you try make up a book out of the stories you come up with? Imagine the moneyz in it :D


  • #28
    clarbar
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭clarbar


    You should get a job with spoons :) enjoy your habit I still think I'm a dinosaur since birth I can even make my toes stand up like a velociraptor I love it and don't give up your habit I'm 23 and a mother btw


  • #29
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Know a guy who does this with a sock. In his case it is related to having Asperger's. I wouldn't see it as something you need to kick if you can accommodate it.


  • #30
    Heat_Wave
    Registered Users Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Heat_Wave


    I'm quite taken aback by the comments on this thread.

    Personally speaking I'd find the OP's behaviour quite alarming.

    It's not normal behaviour OP and I'd imagine a lot of people would become quite anxious in the presence of a 17yr old running around the place with a spoon, it sounds completely bonkers.


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  • #31
    ahnow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 262 ✭✭ahnow


    Yes...wont somebody please think of the children :)
    OP there's nothing alarming about it, we all have our quirks, when you get to college just do it in your bedroom if you're worried about judgement from others. I think it's gas! And endearing.
    If it was a butcher knife now I might be a little bit more concerned but really now, people need to chill out.


  • #32
    Liam58
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭Liam58


    Hi OP , I was fascinated to read your post as I also struggle with many of the issues you have described.
    I am almost 19 years old and also come from a farming backround. While I cant confess to running around with spoons I constantly pace around my house whenever I have any free time and different fictional and non fictional stories will flow through my head with the ease of changing the channel on tv. While I do it I am completly absorbed in what I am doing and take little notice of what is going on around me. My family have become immune to it at this stage as i have been doing it for years now.

    First if it might put you at any ease , my friends are well aware that I do it because i told them so and while there might be the occasional joke made it is all light hearted. I do however understand why your habit may need to be capped a little before you move in with any strangers who might not be able to relate as easily.

    A few months ago I looked into my own habit to satisfy my curiosity and I found out helpful knowledge that helped me stop this problem.

    <medical diagnosis snipped by mod>

    Anyway one way of distracting yourself from this is to keep busy and quench your need for high energy activities . I began to go to the gym regurlarly and when I was really stuck and my mind needed to wander i would lie down on my bed or the couch and listen to my ipod. I am pleased to say I know only pace occasionaly. Hope this helps you seem like a good lad.


  • #33
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,655 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Hi Liam58, and welcome to the PI/RI forums. Before you continue to post here, I'd like to direct you to read the forum charter, namely that medical advice or on-site diagnosis is not permitted here. Breaches of this charter can result in infractions or bans, so please take a read for future reference.

    Regards,
    Mike


  • #34
    RossFixxxed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    Heat_Wave wrote: »
    Personally speaking I'd find the OP's behaviour quite alarming.

    It's not normal behaviour OP and I'd imagine a lot of people would become quite anxious in the presence of a 17yr old running around the place with a spoon, it sounds completely bonkers.

    Alarming?

    Who cares if it is 'bonkers'. The OP isn't harming anyone, they have a quirky habit that helps them de-stress. Once you get to know ANYONE for a period of time all their quirks and habits all come out and you either love them MORE for it or get alarmed and move on.

    It comes down to: does it help you? Does it have a negative impact on your day to day life? If it's a yes and a no respetively then grab your spoon and let loose! Cry havoc and let slip the spoons of war!

    Life is incredibly boring and uptight, it's a relief to find people with little strange habits, interesting opionions, a sense of humour about themselves. I cannot see any harm in this, outside of running at strangers on the street with spoons in hand or something obvious like that.

    Alarming is a desire to murder.

    Spoons are not all that scary to be fair. And as you have seen many here find it endeering! Hell I'm smiling reading your post. Yeah it's an immature habit, but it's not like everything else you do is horribly immature so why not do it!

    Everyday I feed my cat when I get home, I do all the food then we play chasing to get to the conservatory first. I giggle and laugh like a four year old and trip up over things, bang into doors and have an absolute BLAST of a time! My friends and Girlfriend always laugh at me, but it's all fun. It cheers me up, it makes others smile and the cat loves food! Little fun habits break the sheer tedium of work, study, money issues and all the awful things we carry on our backs!

    Grab your spoons, I'm gonna get one now myself and let's all have a minute of de-stressing with our cutlery!



    NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM! :)


  • #35
    ChannelNo5
    Registered Users Posts: 779 ✭✭✭ChannelNo5


    Catari Jaguar wrote: »
    My own brother used to love silky material (he used to rub the ribbon on my mam's nightie when she breast fed) and he would cut the labels out of his clothes & carry them in his pockets as a security blanket. Turned 30 last year & still doing it. :D


    Me too!! Still do it and i'm in my 40's i'll happily cut or pull labels off towels/clothes in others peoples homes and sometimes my family members will save them for me if they see a particularly silky one. I have one beside me on my desk now! :p

    Anyway OP while your quirk is unusual, there are probably more of us out there than you think. Its a release mechanism for me, a comfort and it relaxes me. you're not hurting anyone and if it helps relieve stress/helps you think, whatever, keep doing it!!. Nobody's going to take my frilly's from me :D


  • #36
    Heat_Wave
    Registered Users Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Heat_Wave


    RossFixxxed wrote: »
    Alarming?

    Who cares if it is 'bonkers'. The OP isn't harming anyone, they have a quirky habit that helps them de-stress. Once you get to know ANYONE for a period of time all their quirks and habits all come out and you either love them MORE for it or get alarmed and move on.

    It comes down to: does it help you? Does it have a negative impact on your day to day life? If it's a yes and a no respetively then grab your spoon and let loose! Cry havoc and let slip the spoons of war!

    Life is incredibly boring and uptight, it's a relief to find people with little strange habits, interesting opionions, a sense of humour about themselves. I cannot see any harm in this, outside of running at strangers on the street with spoons in hand or something obvious like that.

    Alarming is a desire to murder.

    Spoons are not all that scary to be fair. And as you have seen many here find it endeering! Hell I'm smiling reading your post. Yeah it's an immature habit, but it's not like everything else you do is horribly immature so why not do it!

    Everyday I feed my cat when I get home, I do all the food then we play chasing to get to the conservatory first. I giggle and laugh like a four year old and trip up over things, bang into doors and have an absolute BLAST of a time! My friends and Girlfriend always laugh at me, but it's all fun. It cheers me up, it makes others smile and the cat loves food! Little fun habits break the sheer tedium of work, study, money issues and all the awful things we carry on our backs!

    Grab your spoons, I'm gonna get one now myself and let's all have a minute of de-stressing with our cutlery!



    NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM! :)

    Do you realise how 'insane' the above sounds? This isn't the behaviour of an adult.


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  • #37
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    And with that gem it is time to close this thread.
    OP best of luck in kicking your habit here.

    Heat_Wave - please read our charter, posts like yours can and regularly do result in instant bans from this forum. If you have no constructive or civil advice to offer then please don't post, insulting behaviour as above is not acceptable at all.


This discussion has been closed.
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