Is it acceptable to use a fork with my right hand?

Spirogyra · 28-02-2015 1:31pm #1

I tend to read while I eat, sometimes using a fork only, with my right hand. Find this easier. If I did so in company/public, would I look uncivilsed? S

2xj3hplqgsbkym · 28-02-2015 1:36pm

I presume that if you are reading, that there is nobody else at the table. In which case the only people to see you are strangers in the cafe or restaurant , so it doesn't really matter.

L1m1tless · 28-02-2015 1:36pm

Using a fork with your right hand is OK if you are not using a knife at the same time, but if you are eating with company it would be rude to be reading!

Kovu · 28-02-2015 2:36pm

I often use fork in my right hand and knife in my left but that's because I couldn't give a toss about if I look civilised or not. I usually try to keep them in the correct hands while eating out though.
My father is left handed but had to switch to right in school so he also does this and I grew up copying him.

ElleEm · 28-02-2015 2:41pm

I use a fork in my right hand as it feels more comfortable to me. It never occurred to me that anyone would deem in uncivilised! It is hardly like I am digging my mouth into a nose bag- it is only cutlery!

The Hill Billy · 28-02-2015 4:13pm

I switch between hands depending on what I am eating. I wouldn't consider use of the right or left hand for any piece of cutlery to be 'rude'.

However, when I see an adult holding a piece of cutlery in their fist like a toddler, rather than with their fingers, I would think it quite odd.

rubadub · 28-02-2015 5:23pm

Spirogyra wrote: »

I tend to read while I eat, sometimes using a fork only, with my right hand. Find this easier. If I did so in company/public, would I look uncivilsed? S

The majority of people hold a pen in their right hand. Do you think people using pens in their left hand look uncivilised? if not then apply the same logic. It's barely noticeable.

I expect most right handed people would hold a fork in their right hand, if it was all they were using.

I am right handed and use the fork in my right hand all the time. The only issue I ever had is that I tend to swop my knife & fork around in restaurants before the food arrives and I have had waiters coming over and reswitch them, presumably thinking someone laid the table incorrectly, unless they were trying to tame the wild uncouth beast that came into their place

athtrasna · 28-02-2015 5:25pm

I'm left handed so fork always goes in my right hand. Nothing uncivilised about it!

El_Duderino 09 · 28-02-2015 5:55pm

rubadub wrote: »

The majority of people hold a pen in their right hand. Do you think people using pens in their left hand look uncivilised? if not then apply the same logic. It's barely noticeable.

I expect most right handed people would hold a fork in their right hand, if it was all they were using

I am right handed and use the fork in my right hand all the time. The only issue I ever had is that I tend to swop my knife & fork around in restaurants before the food arrives and I have had waiters coming over and reswitch them, presumably thinking someone laid the table incorrectly, unless they were trying to tame the wild uncouth beast that came into their place

The are lots of rules which govern social interact. In most cases the rules are context dependant. Eating is a really important social interaction and has lots of rules including dress code, the order in which courses are served and behaviour (yes to chatting, no to burping or eating noisily) Glasses have a specific purpose as do the cutlery. There are really simple guides for holding cutlery. The same can't be said for pen holding so I think that analogy doesn't really work

Context is king.

If you are around your mates for fish and chips, I wouldn't worry.
If you're out with your boss in a nice restaurant then you are probably being judged on you're table manners whether you pay any attention to them or not.

Also, I like the whole experience of eating out and I think it's pretty normal to behave appropriately for the restaurant. In macdonalds they don't have cutlery and in cafes lots of the rules are different but in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

listermint · 28-02-2015 5:57pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

The are lots of rules which govern social interact. In most cases the rules are context dependant. Eating is a really important social interaction and has lots of rules including dress code, the order in which courses are served and behaviour (yes to chatting, no to burping or eating noisily) Glasses have a specific purpose as do the cutlery. There are really simple guides for holding cutlery. The same can't be said for pen holding so I think that analogy doesn't really work

Context is king.

If you are around your mates for fish and chips, I wouldn't worry.
If you're out with your boss in a nice restaurant then you are probably being judged on you're table manners whether you pay any attention to them or not.

Also, I like the whole experience of eating out and I think it's pretty normal to behave appropriately for the restaurant. In macdonalds they don't have cutlery and in cafes lots of the rules are different but in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

Ha.

That is all.

Im paying for the food. Il eat whatever way I choose. Now go get me another drink.

rubadub · 28-02-2015 6:01pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Eating is a really important social interaction and has lots of rules including The same can't be said for pen holding so I think

I think this particular "rule" is very similar to pen holding, I never thought of it as a rule or etiquette, but just what most people prefer to do. Why on earth would someone think it's uncivilised or have the slightest issue with it? if you can give me a good reason then I bet I could apply it to pen holding.

If the other way around was the norm would you have stuck to it, even if it felt unnatural and awkward?

This is not breaking some obvious "rule" like burping, eating with your hands, farting at the table, talking with your mouth full, spitting, holding a fork in your fist and stabbing food etc. I can obviously see how people might frown upon many rules, but not this.

If someone asked if its uncivilised to rotate their jaw clockwise when chewing I would also think it a strange question. Or if you cough which had do you hold up.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

So if you saw me eating in a symmetrically different fashion would you actually consider me to behaving inappropriately?!? anything else you watch out for?

El_Duderino 09 · 28-02-2015 6:22pm

listermint wrote: »

Ha.

That is all.

Im paying for the food. Il eat whatever way I choose. Now go get me another drink.

No need for that Do whatever you want.

El_Duderino 09 · 28-02-2015 6:46pm

rubadub wrote: »

I think this particular "rule" is very similar to pen holding, I never thought of it as a rule or etiquette, but just what most people prefer to do. Why on earth would someone think it's uncivilised or have the slightest issue with it? if you can give me a good reason then I bet I could apply it to pen holding.

If the other way around was the norm would you have stuck to it, even if it felt unnatural and awkward?

This is not breaking some obvious "rule" like burping, eating with your hands, farting at the table, talking with your mouth full, spitting, holding a fork in your fist and stabbing food etc. I can obviously see how people might frown upon many rules, but not this.

If someone asked if its uncivilised to rotate their jaw clockwise when chewing I would also think it a strange question. Or if you cough which had do you hold up.

So if you saw me eating in a symmetrically different fashion would you actually consider me to behaving inappropriately?!? anything else you watch out for?

Ok. First, take a deep breath. I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm answering the thread question 'Is it acceptable to....' It's not illegal if that's what you mean but there is dining etiquette and I presume that's what the OP was asking about.

I said I expect people to behave appropriately but that's not true. I enjoy when people behave appropriately and I appreciate it.

Cutlery is definitely a part of dining etiquette. Just do a quick google. There are all sorts of cultural etiquette quidelines, British, French, American, Japanese... Burping, farting, holding cutlery, it's all in there whether you observe it or not.

Please don't mistake this post with me telling you to do anything.

rubadub · 02-03-2015 12:25am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Please don't mistake this post with me telling you to do anything.

I didn't get that impression, dunno how the hell you got the impression I thought it was illegal!

I was simply asking a question, which you did not answer. I find it fascinating that people like you actually exist.

SMJSF · 02-03-2015 12:35am

The Hill Billy wrote:

However, when I see an adult holding a piece of cutlery in their fist like a toddler, rather than with their fingers, I would think it quite odd.

now, that's one of my pets hates!!

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 9:17am

rubadub wrote: »

I didn't get that impression, dunno how the hell you got the impression I thought it was illegal!

I was simply asking a question, which you did not answer. I find it fascinating that people like you actually exist.

I didn't answer your pointed questions because they were devoid of context which betrayed the fact that you didn't actually read my post so much as skim it for a hit of outrage. Context is king. I then corrected myself and said I appreciate table manners rather than expecting them.

People like me? Classy from a mod.

To the extent that you address the OP you misled them by telling them table manners regarding cutlery are 'barely noticeable' yet you acknowledge most of the other table manners apply (the ones you're aware of at least and thankfully you are aware of some).

Look I addressed the OP and you took way too much offence which you vented on your passive aggressive reply. So putting that aside, Yes there definitely are such thing as table manners and yes people do notice even if rubadub doesn't.

Now Rub you can relax and hold your cutlery with your feet for all I care because I'm not here to help you ape your betters. Simply addressing the OP.

Realt Dearg Sec · 02-03-2015 9:26am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

in restaurants I expect everyone to behave appropriately.

Dude, you're being very undude.

Supercell · 02-03-2015 9:27am

If you are eating yourself hold it it in whatever hand you want. If you are at a business lunch or a formal occasion I would stick to holding it in the left hand.

beauf · 02-03-2015 9:34am

Spirogyra wrote: »

I tend to read while I eat, sometimes using a fork only, with my right hand. Find this easier. If I did so in company/public, would I look uncivilsed? S

It's a social convention.

How uncivilized will depend on the context and the company you're eating with. I'm sure some will be condescending about it. As that was partly the purpose of such etiquette in the first place. I assume.

The Hill Billy · 02-03-2015 9:35am

Folks, put the handbags away & help the OP.
Otherwise don't post.

Thanks,

tHB

beauf · 02-03-2015 10:31am

Apparently its has switched hands over time.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-forks-history-is-not-a-big-mystery/2011/09/01/gIQA0kYNaK_story.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_utensil_etiquette

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 10:49am

beauf wrote: »

Apparently its has switched hands over time.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-forks-history-is-not-a-big-mystery/2011/09/01/gIQA0kYNaK_story.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_utensil_etiquette

That's really interesting. I suppose it makes sense that these social rules would change, especially given the variation in cultural dining habits. Lots of cultures don't use knives and forks at all and some cultures in South East Asia use a fork and spoon so they must have totally different rules for eating with chopsticks or using their hands.

Eye opener for me in this thread is that most posters don't even see cutlery use as part of table manners at all.

beauf · 02-03-2015 11:07am

The question then, is should you switch hands depending on you are with.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Table_manners

or its it really about class division.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/3618904/Everybodys-talking-about-etiquette-but-what-were-really-interested-in-is-class.html

or is it about persecution about left handiness

http://allday.com/post/1719-left-handers-have-been-persecuted-for-centuries
http://www.capitolhilltimes.com/2013/01/on-the-other-hand-a-persecuted-class/

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 11:53am

Definitely context dependent. When in Rome. We all do this instinctively anyway. In a casual cafe you could lean back with your arm around an empty chair next to you if it's comfortable but you probably wouldn't even think of it in a restaurant and the same applies to other table manners including cutlery.

If it's a big group then I just do my thing while everyone else does their own thing. In a more intimate setting its better to go along with the crowd to avoid making anyone else uncomfortable.

If everyone else at the table is holding their fork in their fist, with their face perpendicular to the table and their elbow above the top of their head, then I'm not sure what I'd do. I'd probably just relax my own standards and not dwell on table manners because none of the company is likely to be noticing or offended by table manners. I wouldn't go full native though.

My in-laws are great, we have great craic when we sit down for dinner together and they don't mind that much about table manners so neither do I when I'm in their house. I know how to operate a knife and fork in polite company though and I'm very glad that I can.

I think the trick is to know your audience and try to fit in. All I know is that if your manners make other people uncomfortable then you need to adjust your behaviour, that goes for those who appreciate traditional manners and those who don't.

What do you think?

DoYouEvenLift · 02-03-2015 12:00pm

I don't judge how people hold cutler unless it's that infant grip. I do judge how people eat, though. If you eat with your mouth open and make slobbing, clapping noises I'll wish I could slap you. Even worse if you speak with a lot of food in your mouth.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 12:08pm

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I don't judge how people hold cutler unless it's that infant grip. I do judge how people eat, though. If you eat with your mouth open and make slobbing, clapping noises I'll wish I could slap you. Even worse if you speak with a lot of food in your mouth.

Since you outlined some of the rules that you do observe and some which you find really rude, do you think it's likely that there are people who do notice how people hold cutlery. Some people don't notice audible mastication but you do. Some don't notice cutlery, some do.

beauf · 02-03-2015 12:24pm

If someone finds holding the fork in the wrong hand (according to them), uncomfortable. I guess pointing out its the same hand people used when people only used knives and hands, isn't going oil the wheels.

DoYouEvenLift · 02-03-2015 12:27pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Since you outlined some of the rules that you do observe and some which you find really rude, do you think it's likely that there are people who do notice how people hold cutlery. Some people don't notice audible mastication but you do. Some don't notice cutlery, some do.

There are definitely people who judge how you hold your cutlery lol. Some people even judge how far you move your head towards the fork or spoon to get the food in your mouth.

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 12:35pm

Not really so I suppose you're right. You pointed out that conventions change so obsolete conventions are no longer relevant. When current conventions are superseded the same will apply and it will behoove us to observe the convention of the time.

Does that oil the wheels for you?

El_Duderino 09 · 02-03-2015 12:40pm

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

There are definitely people who judge how you hold your cutlery lol. Some people even judge how far you move your head towards the fork or spoon to get the food in your mouth.

Agreed. Some people believe in table manners so fervently that they feel violent impulses when others break conventions like chewing loudly or speaking with food in their mouth. Imagine that LOL

JONJO THE MISER · 02-03-2015 1:38pm

Are people serious, i always use the fork in my right hand, never heard about this fork in a left hand stuff before.
Must of missed that day at school.

Is it acceptable to use a fork with my right hand?

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