How much is too much and how much is too little for an engagement ring

derferjam · 23-07-2014 8:35pm #1

In particular to Irish people how much should I spend on an engagement ring. All I know is that she would like to have a rose gold and that her finger is about the same size as my little finger. I want it to be a surprise so I'm not going to have her with me when buying it and in a way I prefer that as it adds to the surprise:eek:

lazygal · 23-07-2014 8:38pm

Spend what you can afford. My husband didn't have a limit per se but equally I had an idea ofwhat I wanted and would be comfortable spending. Don't base it on what you think you should be spending.

derferjam · 23-07-2014 8:43pm

My fear is that when the ring is to be insured my wife(well hopefully) will then know how much I spent and having looked on the net rings go from 800 to 10,000euro so any idea help?????

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 23-07-2014 8:44pm

Whatever you can afford, I think it's the gesture more than the price. My ring was just under a thousand, but I don't like jewellery and I didn't want a ring. After him insisting, We found one I loved, and that was the price.

Millem · 23-07-2014 8:49pm

derferjam wrote: »

In particular to Irish people how much should I spend on an engagement ring. All I know is that she would like to have a rose gold and that her finger is about the same size as my little finger. I want it to be a surprise so I'm not going to have her with me when buying it and in a way I prefer that as it adds to the surprise:eek:

Tbh for me it's all about the design of ring not the price tag! I had a very clear idea of what I wanted eg carat quality, size etc so that dictated price. Saying that if we had a smaller budget I would still have gotten a fab ring but I would of gotten a coloured gemstone which are equally as nice if not nicer

DoctorEdgeWild · 23-07-2014 8:52pm

In my opinion, the price means nothing. If he/she finds a ring that they love and it costs 20 quid then that's the right ring.

I think some people spend more time, effort and money on the many aspects of weddings to impress others outside the relationship for some reason. I can't really understand it.

Oh, and please don't think I'm implying anything about you OP or anyone who does go big on a ring/wedding. A very personal thing, different for everyone.

eviltwin · 23-07-2014 8:55pm

Go with what you can afford. My favourite bit of jewellery is a 30 punt ring my husband bought me for doing my leaving. It's a bit of old tat but its priceless to me and means more to me than anything else I own.

Millem · 23-07-2014 8:58pm

derferjam wrote: »

My fear is that when the ring is to be insured my wife(well hopefully) will then know how much I spent and having looked on the net rings go from 800 to 10,000euro so any idea help?????

Honestly she won't care how much you spent! My ring is valued for more than what it cost. I only know how much it cost as I was there when he bought it!

ene · 23-07-2014 9:22pm

my engagement ring cost about 400 pound and i adore it!

it isn't the money she will care about!

derferjam · 23-07-2014 11:04pm

i have been talking to a female friend and she said anything from 3000 and 5000 surely this is a bit much i only earn 25000 a year

Sebastian Dangerfield · 23-07-2014 11:14pm

I proposed recently and spent just under a months salary (after tax). I had been quite sneaky with subtle questions when she mentioned other peoples rings, so I had a fair idea of what she wanted which helped me in my search. She has a cheap ring she wears on the same finger of her right hand, so i borrowed it and brought it along for sizing.

My only tip would be to get the best value you can for whatever you spend. I wasnt happy with the quality of what Fields etc had to offer for the price they were quoting. I used Voltaire Diamonds and feel I got a lot more value. She told me they have rings from €1,000 plus - not sure if that fits into your budget. Theyll give you the full cert for the insurance. I had someone on Abbey St recommended too (Patrick Glynn?) - both dont have the overheads of a high street jeweller so you get more for your money in my opinion. Id really recommend Voltaire - they engraved the ring for practically nothing, and have been very helpful with aftersales service.

With regards to her finding out the price of the ring via insurance, I just insured it for her to avoid that problem. €69 a year, didnt break the bank.

Good luck

Millem · 24-07-2014 7:03am

derferjam wrote: »

i have been talking to a female friend and she said anything from 3000 and 5000 surely this is a bit much i only earn 25000 a year

Seriously don't mind that nonsense. I would second Patrick Glynn, also check out Martin gear (on Mary st), thomas gear (in ilac). I know martin gear offers 14k gold and palladium which would be a cheaper option. I found they were all better value than volitaire for the style I wanted. If you are looking at coloured gemstones check out pearl perfect in terenure.

Gatica · 24-07-2014 9:23am

I think a month's salary is quite common, if you're willing to spend that much OP, then that's a common guide to go by.
It's very well to say spend what you can afford and the cost doesn't matter, but if your gf is not going to be the one picking the ring, I can understand why you don't want it to be too cheap.
You mentioned rose gold, there are lovely rose gold rings online and I've seen some beautiful ones on Etsy, though I don't know what's the story with paying so much for an online transaction.

Shedite27 · 24-07-2014 10:49am

derferjam wrote: »

In particular to Irish people how much should I spend on an engagement ring. All I know is that she would like to have a rose gold and that her finger is about the same size as my little finger. I want it to be a surprise so I'm not going to have her with me when buying it and in a way I prefer that as it adds to the surprise:eek:

If you're buying it for her, take a ring she wears occasionally along with you to get the size right.

And FYI, I spent a little over a months salary, but really it's whatever you want.

jonnyfingers · 24-07-2014 11:11am

I would echo the advice of others and say spend what you're happy with, but not necessarily what you can afford.

In my own experience I bought a token ring and then we picked the proper ring out together. I had a maximum budget as all our savings were pretty much gone from moving to the UK so I had to save for a few months to afford the ring. Now at the time I had decent job, it paid reasonably well but living expenses in London are not cheap so could I only save a certain amount per month while still paying the bills. In the end I think I saved what I could for 6 months and had around £3000. I told her what my maximum budget for the ring was, around £2000 as I wanted to keep some savings in reserve, and she ended up picking one that was a bit cheaper than that as it was the ring she liked. What I didn't realise was how quickly things can move on from there and the other expenses that quickly mount up. We were travelling home to Ireland soon after the engagement so went looking at venues, found one we liked and had to put a deposit of €1000 down. We also celebrated a little, going out for a meal, drinks with friends, had a couple of engagement parties, one in London and one in Ireland and before I knew it all the savings were gone. If I had spent all the savings on the ring we would not have been able to do all the other stuff straight away, we'd have to wait for a couple of months until the savings were built back up again.

Another point is as we didn't spend an exorbitant amount on the engagement ring we were able to budget for a similar amount for a really nice wedding ring. We have a few friends who spent a sickening amount on an engagement ring and then could only afford a very plain wedding ring. That's fine if they're happy to do that but just thought I'd point it out as it might be something to consider for yourselves.

Anyway best of luck with the proposal and I'm sure whatever ring you get will be perfect.

Sam Kade · 24-07-2014 11:27am

Did anyone get married without getting an engagement ring?

lazygal · 24-07-2014 12:38pm

Sam Kade wrote: »

Did anyone get married without getting an engagement ring?

My mother and mother in law. Neither wear wedding rings either.

mozattack · 24-07-2014 1:09pm

Answer:

Poor people will say, "not much, it is the thought that counts"

Well off people will quote some obscene price and an "interesting" story on how long it took to find the "perfect ring"

Snooze

eviltwin · 24-07-2014 1:16pm

Sam Kade wrote: »

Did anyone get married without getting an engagement ring?

I don't have one, you don't need one, its a tradition but its no longer seen as an essential part of the process.

Dangel4x4 · 24-07-2014 1:20pm

derferjam wrote: »

i have been talking to a female friend and she said anything from 3000 and 5000 surely this is a bit much i only earn 25000 a year

Your friends a clown. Spending 20% of your salary is ridiculous.

Spend what you can afford. There are enough people in this country up to their eyes in debt for non-essentials...

Wizzy2011 · 24-07-2014 2:00pm

Actually made my better half's ring myself...well with the help of my grandad and dad, both ex jewellers, guiding me through the process. Cost just over 2k in total, and several attempts in silver before I perfected her ring in platinum. Really glad with the finished product. In regards to her size, make sure you don't go for a ring size matching the ring finger of right hand as often the prominent hand is half size bigger

MadelineX · 24-07-2014 2:22pm

Only you can decide on your budget. Asking how much others spend is like how long is a piece of string. But honestly beautiful rings can be got whatever the budget.

Once you have fixed a limit then you can begin looking. I see that your gf likes rose gold. So just hit the shops looking at rose gold rings.

You can then make decisions to bring a ring inline with your budget. For instance 14k gold is cheaper than 18k. Perhaps an oval diamond would give more presence than a round diamond allowing you to get a lower carat size. Also you may decide a diamond is too expensive. An other alternative could be peachy/pink sapphire which goes very well with rose gold.

Once you have a general idea of her ring size, maybe from another ring, most stores would resize for free if it's not a perfect fit.

Also as to the insurance issue, most valuations tend to be for more than the ring cost anyway so you can just tell her you insured it for a general figure.

Good luck and hope she says yes!!

Voltaire Diamonds: Seamus · 24-07-2014 2:41pm

Many thanks for the mention Sebastian Dangerfield.

We always advise clients to spend what they can afford.

If you are available to meet derferjam, we would be delighted to show you our collection. All our rings can be made to specific budgets, stone sizes etc.

Please have a look at our Youtube channel where you will see 100's of styles we have made for our customers:

https://www.youtube.com/user/VoltaireDiamonds/videos?shelf_id=1&sort=dd&view=0

Many thanks
Séamus

Dangel4x4 · 24-07-2014 3:11pm

Voltaire Diamonds: Seamus wrote: »

Many thanks for the mention Sebastian Dangerfield.

We always advise clients to spend what they can afford.

If you are available to meet derferjam, we would be delighted to show you our collection. All our rings can be made to specific budgets, stone sizes etc.

Please have a look at our Youtube channel where you will see 100's of styles we have made for our customers:

https://www.youtube.com/user/VoltaireDiamonds/videos?shelf_id=1&sort=dd&view=0

Many thanks
Séamus

Way to get some free advertising! Bravo!

coffee_cake · 24-07-2014 7:27pm

MadelineX wrote: »

An other alternative could be peachy/pink sapphire which goes very well with rose gold.

That looks like a lovely idea

Inspector Coptoor · 24-07-2014 7:37pm

I spent a month's gross salary.

Three months would have been a ridicule amount to spend on a piece of pressurized carbon

homemadecider · 24-07-2014 7:44pm

My fiance and I split the cost. I got a diamond ring, he got a very fancy watch. We spent 4k in total; 2k each.

Big Bag of Chips · 24-07-2014 7:53pm

You need to be very very careful. If you are going to spend a lot of money, then you need to be absolutely 100% certain she will love it! You will expect her to wear it for the rest of her life, after all.

What some people do is buy a "token" ring to propose with and then go out and buy the real deal.

I have a very plain, very simple ring. My hands are quite small so anything even slightly big looked ridiculous on me. I have a tiny solitaire ring, that cost £400 in 2001. I tried on a few of all shapes and sizes before finding the one that I loved. And they ranged in price from over £1000 to the one I eventually picked. My husband wouldn't have had a clue what to get me.

In saying that I probably would have been thrilled with anything he gave me!!! But it was nice to be able to go out together and pick one.

sonandheir · 24-07-2014 9:00pm

Definitely go for the token ring to propose with. I had a deposit on a ring and was all prepped to propose with it when by chance we were walking by another jewellers and started chatting about rings and lo and behold she said she hated the style I had picked out.

We picked it together and now 7 years later she still loves it, and gets compliments on the style of ring. Not sure where you're based but we got ours in Galway in a shop that makes up the rings, so you pick ring style, metal, diamond (carats) etc. Was great value for a custom ring.

Another way to save a few bob is get your fingers measured for wedding bands when getting engagment ring then using size buy online. Great deals online, can save 50% over shop.

Princess Peach · 24-07-2014 10:44pm

I was proposed to with the stone for my ring. He knew I wanted a ruby but was unsure of the setting and my ring size. So it was a surprise proposal with the ruby in a box surrounded by small diamonds that all went in the ring, along with a couple of renders from the custom ring designer that I might pick, or I could choose something totally different.

Picked one of the original designs but I was glad to have chosen it, just to be sure I loved it. And it was a perfect fit

xzanti · 24-07-2014 11:11pm

There are often very good deals to be gotten if you look around.. I've often seen beautiful rings marked half price in the likes of Ernest Jones and Fields.

I'd echo what someone else said about a nice token ring.. and then let her pick her real ring herself.. that's what we did and I picked a ring that he said he would never have picked in a million years but I love it.. and it didn't cost the Earth either.

Each to their own though I guess.

How much is too much and how much is too little for an engagement ring

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