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Facebooking dead people

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  • 27-02-2013 9:23pm
    #1
    BidillyBo
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭


    I've seen it a couple of times recently where people have been writing to people who have died on facebook. One page I saw the person mother writes a big long thing to them pretty much everyday and the other one I saw was someone I know who died about a year and a half ago and still the parents and few friends write to them with different things.

    I just think its a bit of a strange thing to do, I'm no physiologist but I wouldn't have thought that it can be particularly healthy to be doing it in such a public way.

    I want to say its fishing for like but I know that's not true but its almost as if the people writing are trying to prove to everyone who can see that their still thinking of them instead of doing it privately.I'm not religious in any way but i still think their has to be a better way than praying over facebook. Any thoughts?


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    #2
    donvito99
    Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    Someone could "frape" them saying, "I'm back, bitches" or something along those crude lines.


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    #3
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    I dunno. It might seem strange that it's public, but I know people who still have the phone numbers of dead relatives on their phones and won't delete any messages from them. I know someone who used to call their dead relative's phone just so they could listen to their voice on the voicemail. I doubt she's the only person who's done that. Maybe the Facebook thing is just a newer version of that. I think it's part of the grieving process.


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    #4
    Custardpi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭Custardpi


    If you poke a dead person on Facebook does that count as necrophillia?


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    #5
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    Sorry but this is just weird attention seeking


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    #6
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    As soon as someone dies I immediately unfriend them on Facebook.

    F*ck you, you don't matter anymore.

    Laterz!


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    #7
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    I think it's comforting for some people, they need time to accept what's happened but there comes a time when the page should be closed for good.imo


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    #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    All it says to me is that the concept of privacy has mutated into something alien to the masses. No feeling is real to some people unless its witnessed online by 6000 of your closest friends, liked and commented on ad nauseum.

    This kind of thing, combined with endless photo's of peoples dinner plates, is why Facebook is no longer a part of my life.


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    #9
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    I wouldn't be into it tbh but I can see why people do it. Some people just find it too hard to let go and I'm sure it eases their hearts a bit.

    No different than being beside the grave and speaking to the headstone.

    Although, I'm putting a request in my will that if I die in the near future to come on here and abuse people until the Mod's kill my account.


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    #10
    NIMAN
    Registered Users Posts: 33,101 ✭✭✭✭NIMAN


    I have never joined FB but I watch as nearly everyone I know or work with is obsessed with it. I simply do not get it at all, is has mutated from what it was originally designed to be, and the idea of pages to dead people basically sums up how cr@p it has become.


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    #11
    RaRaRasputin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    Don't know...I am grateful to haven't been in a situation like this but I gues it doesn't harm anyone and maybe helps them grieve... I don't see anything wrong with it, though I think I'd prefer to keep thinks like that private.


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    #12
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »
    No different than being beside the grave and speaking to the headstone.

    One is nothing like the other at all.

    One is a private act carried out unwitnessed, the other is a public display deliberately carried out in full view of hundreds of people.

    One seeks attention, the other doesn't.


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    #13
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Candie wrote: »
    One is nothing like the other at all.

    One is a private act carried out unwitnessed, the other is a public display deliberately carried out in full view of hundreds of people.

    One seeks attention, the other doesn't.

    The concept and meaning behind it are the same.


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    #14
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users Posts: 7,882 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    What's worse is memorial pages. One was setup for a friend of mine who I've written about far too frequently for my liking on boards over the past few months, but anyway -- someone made a memorial page for her and then started posting christian messages and weird totally non-related pictures and things to the girl, obviously just because between just two of the memorial pages there are 30,000 "fans".

    Fcuking sick people in this world


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    #15
    frozenfrozen
    Registered Users Posts: 7,882 ✭✭✭frozenfrozen


    What's worse is memorial pages. One was setup for a friend of mine who I've written about far too frequently for my liking on boards over the past few months, but anyway -- someone made a memorial page for her and then started posting christian messages and weird totally non-related pictures and things to the girl, obviously just because between just two of the memorial pages there are 30,000 "fans".

    Fcuking sick people in this world


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    #16
    Muir
    Registered Users Posts: 948 ✭✭✭Muir


    I think maybe, it's like their way of trying to still feel close to the person. Like if you aren't one for praying and you still want to "talk" to them, and maybe facebook was one of the ways you used to talk to them so that's what you do. Like I know people who have text/left voicemails for people who passed away which would never be seen or heard so it wasn't an attention thing, but it helped them. I know some people really dislike it though, like if it's someone they were close to they hate seeing people are posting on their page. Everyone has their own way of dealing with it.


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    #17
    Antar Bolaeisk
    Registered Users Posts: 3,091 ✭✭✭Antar Bolaeisk


    Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »
    Although, I'm putting a request in my will that if I die in the near future to come on here and abuse people until the Mod's kill my account.

    I have an entire section dedicated to my online activities and how the accounts are to be handled...


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    #18
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    Antar Bolaeisk wrote: »
    I have an entire section dedicated to my online activities and how the accounts are to be handled...

    Delete, delete, delete......burn the computer! :P


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    #19
    Custardpi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭Custardpi


    Facebook & Twitter have become so much a part of people's lives that before long we'll see gravestones with integrated scrolling FB/Twitter feeds on them. Actually I'm surprised we haven't seen that already.


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    #20
    RaRaRasputin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    Candie wrote: »
    One is nothing like the other at all.

    One is a private act carried out unwitnessed, the other is a public display deliberately carried out in full view of hundreds of people.

    One seeks attention, the other doesn't.


    Yeah agreed, though I have some understanding for this sort of attention because it might remind the deceased's friends of the person and will trigger a reaction that causes the dead person to be remembered.

    In all fairness, rather posts like that (if it is sometimes) rather than pictures of dinners or updates on your bowel problems


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    #21
    PlainP
    Closed Accounts Posts: 714 ✭✭✭PlainP


    I hate facebook, it's a pile of sh\te.



    .....


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    #22
    fatknacker
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭fatknacker


    You're certainly no physiologist.


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    #23
    monkeypants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,386 ✭✭✭monkeypants


    Mark Zuckerberg keeps all the dead people in cryogenic storage according to the Facebook terms and conditions. Fact.


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    #24
    Boombastic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,496 ✭✭✭Boombastic


    fatknacker wrote: »
    You're certainly no physiologist.

    physiologist :confused:


    :pac:


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    #25
    starlings
    Closed Accounts Posts: 683 ✭✭✭starlings


    donvito99 wrote: »
    Someone could "frape" them saying, "I'm back, bitches" or something along those crude lines.

    My lovely, funny, dead friend, to whom I'm still connected on facebook, would love that! Freaked me out at first when I'd get ads for things telling me that she liked them or, once, being invited to check in with her. :D

    There is a case for "digital forgetting" - a gradual fading out of data that could be a combination of digital inactivity and decisions by the uploader. I heard a BBC documentary I can't find atm, in which a mother wanted to access her dead daughter's page to archive it for herself and close it to the public as she found it upsetting to get alerts when someone wrote on it.

    Here's a recent essay on the issue, outlining the various companies' positions on digital legacy. Unsurprisingly, it's a mess as social media are still young.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324677204578188220364231346.html


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    #26
    PlainP
    Closed Accounts Posts: 714 ✭✭✭PlainP


    fatknacker wrote: »
    You're certainly no physiologist.

    Philosophist???


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    #27
    La_Gordy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,767 ✭✭✭La_Gordy


    An acquaintance of mine was murdered two years ago and I had to block his Facebook page as our friends posting on it was so upsetting, and I'd upset myself by looking at things he said, YouTube clips he posted, things he laughed at. What pushed me to blocking it really though was when people posted pictures of his funeral and for fear they'd start tagging his casket I had to. Awful awful this Facebook pish


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    #28
    Where To
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Praetorian Saighdiuir wrote: »

    Although, I'm putting a request in my will that if I die in the near future to come on here and abuse people until the Mod's kill my account.
    When you see me in the Zombie forum you'll know I've popped my clogs.


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    #29
    fatknacker
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭fatknacker


    Boombastic wrote: »
    physiologist :confused:


    :pac:

    That's what he said...


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    #30
    BornToKill
    Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭BornToKill


    Black Mirror, series 2; 'Be Right Back'.


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    #31
    ldxo15wus6fpgm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,359 ✭✭✭ldxo15wus6fpgm


    BidillyBo wrote: »
    people who have died on facebook.

    I've heard people giving out about facebook but I didn't know it was dangerous :p


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