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Would you go for a girl/guy who's already in a relationship?

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  • 08-02-2012 6:23pm
    #1
    af_thefragile
    Registered Users Posts: 7,171 ✭✭✭


    Would you court/hit on/make advances/try to get on with a girl (or guy) whom you know already is in a relationship?


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    #2
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    If they were interested yes.

    And if I could get their drink alone for a few seconds


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    #3
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,154 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    I'm flattered and all but you're not my type!


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    #4
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    If all I wanted was sex then maybe, otherwise no, never.


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    #5
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k3mGf6gAuM


    You cant help you fall in love with / fancy.


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    #6
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    I've put the moves on people I knew were in relationships before when drunk. I ain't proud of it, but there you are.


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    #7
    Redlion
    Registered Users Posts: 794 ✭✭✭Redlion


    No I could never do it because the boyfriend/girlfriend would be absolutely gutted. Imagine you were in his/her shoes, not a nice feeling.


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    #8
    stephen_k
    Registered Users Posts: 449 ✭✭stephen_k


    Yep, when I met my other half she was in a long term relationship with someone else, she told me straight away, I was honest and said I'm really attracted to you not interested in friendship, I was the "bit on the side" for about 2 months, and then laid down an ulitmatum him or me... She chose me!!


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    #9
    Temptamperu
    Registered Users Posts: 5,303 ✭✭✭Temptamperu


    Nah thats bad form. Treat everyone like you want to be treated is my only rule in life.


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    #10
    Peetrik
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Peetrik


    You would have to be an idiot. Apart from it being an as$hole thing to do, you would never never be able to trust the person. The entire thing would be a waste of your time


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    #11
    WolfForager
    Registered Users Posts: 4,532 ✭✭✭WolfForager


    Was just thinking this earlier. Decided that i couldn't, no matter how much of an asshole he is...


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    #12
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    stupidusername wrote: »
    If all I wanted was sex then maybe, otherwise no, never.

    actually the reality probably is that I wouldn't if it came to it.


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    #13
    Littlehorny
    Registered Users Posts: 2,351 ✭✭✭Littlehorny


    Depends on how tough her bloke is :)


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    #14
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    I'm not the flirtin' type so she'd have to come at me kinda and then it would be her decision so yeah - I would.


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    #15
    GLaDOS
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,212 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    Never would, happened to me before and I know what it feel like.

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



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    #16
    Misty Chaos
    Registered Users Posts: 1,363 ✭✭✭Misty Chaos


    I generally avoid that kind of thing, it would have to be something pretty spectacular for me to do otherwise ( like instant, intense chemistry when we first meet. )

    Aside from that, I wouldn't do that type of thing. Its poor form and I would just end up hurting the other guy ( and maybe end up getting hurt myself by said guy! )


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    #17
    crfcaio
    Registered Users Posts: 81 ✭✭crfcaio


    I'm in a situation like this right now, I just don't hit on her because she's a great friend and it would be worse not having her around at all.


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    #18
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    no... If you like some one you want them to be happy..
    You could potentialy distort something very special to some one for your own kick
    and knowing what that i involved my self in that kinda situation...


    Well I would be all that proud or satisfied with my self id be pretty, ashamed...
    so a big

    Moral NO I wouldn't


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    #19
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,309 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    no of course not


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    #20
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    crfcaio wrote: »
    I'm in a situation like this right now, I just don't hit on her because she's a great friend and it would be worse not having her around at all.

    (US accent) Just bang her already.


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    #21
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    No I would not but saying that I don`t believe you can "steal" someone they must be unhappy if they are looking around. I think if your a decent person who respects the person your with and your unhappy you should at least have the guts to break up with them.

    Is it just me or do alot of girls when unhappy wait till they find someone who`ll have them (like a realtionship) and then leave their partner? My hubbys ex did this she was with her now hubby behind my hubbys back for a month or so and I know a few other girls who did same. I kinda get that they don`t want to end up alone with no-one but its very disrespectful and cowardly to me. Funnily they`re the ones who say "o I`d never do that" blah blah


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    #22
    leviathon
    Registered Users Posts: 104 ✭✭leviathon


    Temptamperu wrote: »
    Nah thats bad form. Treat everyone like you want to be treated is my only rule in life.

    Dunno, strangers don't usually like it when you dress them up in a nazi uniform and beat them softly around the todger with a pound of kerrygold butter stuffed into a sock.

    Or so I've heard.


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    #23
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    I always thought I'd say no till a couple of years ago I found myself in that very situation - I felt like I couldn't stop myself trying to drag this fella out of his LTR to me. I didn't try any of the 'if he was happy with her, he wouldn't be interested in me' BS, I knew I was being a Knut but I continued anyway, I wanted him so badly.

    After me wasting almost a year of this tug-of-war he left her and wanted to start up with me.

    And what did I realise? I'd never be able to trust this man. He'd flirted and behaved totally inappropriately for weeks before he told me he was involved. I'd be on constant eggshells that he'd do same to me.

    So I told him no and we all ended up alone, me a double Knut now because I'd successfully screwed the lot of us with my greedy selfish cr@p. I'm sure his ex-missus would like to scratch my eyes out.

    Never ever again.


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    #24
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    Katgurl wrote: »
    I always thought I'd say no till a couple of years ago I found myself in that very situation - I felt like I couldn't stop myself trying to drag this fella out of his LTR to me. I didn't try any of the 'if he was happy with her, he wouldn't be interested in me' BS, I knew I was being a Knut but I continued anyway, I wanted him so badly.

    After me wasting almost a year of this tug-of-war he left her and wanted to start up with me.

    And what did I realise? I'd never be able to trust this man. He'd flirted and behaved totally inappropriately for weeks before he told me he was involved. I'd be on constant eggshells that he'd do same to me.

    So I told him no and we all ended up alone, me a double Knut now because I'd successfully screwed the lot of us with my greedy selfish cr@p. I'm sure his ex-missus would like to scratch my eyes out.

    Never ever again.

    Sounds like you did her a favour!


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    #25
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Katgurl wrote: »
    I always thought I'd say no till a couple of years ago I found myself in that very situation - I felt like I couldn't stop myself trying to drag this fella out of his LTR to me. I didn't try any of the 'if he was happy with her, he wouldn't be interested in me' BS, I knew I was being a Knut but I continued anyway, I wanted him so badly.

    After me wasting almost a year of this tug-of-war he left her and wanted to start up with me.

    And what did I realise? I'd never be able to trust this man. He'd flirted and behaved totally inappropriately for weeks before he told me he was involved. I'd be on constant eggshells that he'd do same to me.

    So I told him no and we all ended up alone, me a double Knut now because I'd successfully screwed the lot of us with my greedy selfish cr@p. I'm sure his ex-missus would like to scratch my eyes out.

    Never ever again.

    A head wrecking game player like you is far far worse than a cheater.


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    #26
    martomcg
    Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭martomcg


    stovelid wrote: »
    A head wrecking game player like you is far far worse than a cheater.

    +1


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    #27
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    theg81der wrote: »
    Katgurl wrote: »
    I always thought I'd say no till a couple of years ago I found myself in that very situation - I felt like I couldn't stop myself trying to drag this fella out of his LTR to me. I didn't try any of the 'if he was happy with her, he wouldn't be interested in me' BS, I knew I was being a Knut but I continued anyway, I wanted him so badly.

    After me wasting almost a year of this tug-of-war he left her and wanted to start up with me.

    And what did I realise? I'd never be able to trust this man. He'd flirted and behaved totally inappropriately for weeks before he told me he was involved. I'd be on constant eggshells that he'd do same to me.

    So I told him no and we all ended up alone, me a double Knut now because I'd successfully screwed the lot of us with my greedy selfish cr@p. I'm sure his ex-missus would like to scratch my eyes out.

    Never ever again.

    Sounds like you did her a favour!


    Hmmm I doubt she would see it like that. Thankfully I made a point of never finding out who she was (made guilt easier to bare) but if she appeared in front of me in a bar and threw a drink in my face I really couldn't blame her.


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    #28
    Novella
    Registered Users Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    I always would've said no to this, but I suppose like a lot of other things in life, you don't really know what you'd do or what you're capable of until you're faced with the situation.

    I have slept with a guy who I knew was in a relationship, repeatedly. I can't justify doing that, I wanted him, I wanted him so badly that I'd just tell myself, "Well he was yours first" or "He's the one in a relationship, that's his issue". It was stupid in hindsight but unfortunately I didn't see it at the time.

    That said, if I met a guy and found out he had a girlfriend, I definitely wouldn't pursue more than a friendship.


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    #29
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    crfcaio wrote: »
    I'm in a situation like this right now, I just don't hit on her because she's a great friend and it would be worse not having her around at all.
    What does this "friend" of yours do that's so great to be around? I've got some great friends but I wouldn't be that bothered if they decided they didn't want to be my friend.


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    #30
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    martomcg wrote: »
    stovelid wrote: »
    A head wrecking game player like you is far far worse than a cheater.

    +1


    I wasn't playing games but I WAS demonstrating extreme levels of idiocy.


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    #31
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    I've been in this situation a couple of times. Only once have I been the one to instigate it though. In my defense; I was young and had an awful dose of the horn.


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