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condom trouble

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  • 27-04-2011 3:06pm
    #1
    duke916
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭


    long time reader, first time poster and all that. first of all thanks for having me on here. just a question for you guys as im sure there has been many with the same problem at some stage.

    ok well after a 5 year relationship, ive been single and inactive in the sex department for all but two years since the mega breakup. only in the last two months ive decided to date again. with my last gf she was on the pill so i didnt wear condoms since our first months together, so its been a good six plus years since ive had to wear one.

    two weeks ago i met this really nice girl, had a date or two etc and lately we slept together - with myself having to use condoms again. trouble is, i couldnt 'perform' properly as there was zero sensation once it went on. once the embarrassment of not having to go through with it was in my head, it stuck there and that was the end of that. this is the first time this has happened. i bought the condoms myself recently as a precaution as i was beginning to date again and knew having sex was inevitable at some stage so they were only new, plus they were the red durex featherlite range (if that helps).

    is there another brand or range i should be using? ..or perhaps because its a new partner, i panicked and got nervous, im not sure.

    any advice would be great.


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    #2
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Fetherlite are too tight for me, that might have been the problem. They are a slightly tighter variety than most condoms.

    Also, did you retract your foreskin? I presume you did, but not everybody does and that leads to pretty much zero feeling.


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    #3
    D'Agger
    Registered Users Posts: 13,385 ✭✭✭✭D'Agger


    duke916 wrote: »
    long time reader, first time poster and all that. first of all thanks for having me on here. just a question for you guys as im sure there has been many with the same problem at some stage.

    ok well after a 5 year relationship, ive been single and inactive in the sex department for all but two years since the mega breakup. only in the last two months ive decided to date again. with my last gf she was on the pill so i didnt wear condoms since our first months together, so its been a good six plus years since ive had to wear one.

    two weeks ago i met this really nice girl, had a date or two etc and lately we slept together - with myself having to use condoms again. trouble is, i couldnt 'perform' properly as there was zero sensation once it went on. once the embarrassment of not having to go through with it was in my head, it stuck there and that was the end of that. this is the first time this has happened. i bought the condoms myself recently as a precaution as i was beginning to date again and knew having sex was inevitable at some stage so they were only new, plus they were the red durex featherlite range (if that helps).

    is there another brand or range i should be using? ..or perhaps because its a new partner, i panicked and got nervous, im not sure.

    any advice would be great.

    One solution from I can see would be to practice using them when you're masturbating - that way you'll get used to them and learn to perform using them

    There's also nothing to be embarassed about imo - lack of sensation due to condoms is common


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    #4
    duke916
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭duke916


    hi parker, yeah i did. to tight you say? ...whats your brand / range of choice if you dont mind me asking??


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    #5
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Ive always found Durex Pleasuremax top drawer,easy on,not too thick and nicely ribbed/contoured for herself.Ive heard Durex Avanti are very good too but are pricey enough as they arent made of latex.


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    #6
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I've a friend that said the performa were good but tried a different brand recently and said they were great. I'll ask the name.though it may just be a matter of getting used to wearing them


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    #7
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    duke916 wrote: »
    hi parker, yeah i did. to tight you say? ...whats your brand / range of choice if you dont mind me asking??

    Durex elite do the job for me. They are in a purple box, no issues with them for me anyway.

    A lot of people find Fetherlite a bit tight.


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    #8
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I've a friend that said the performa were good but tried a different brand recently and said they were great. I'll ask the name.though it may just be a matter of getting used to wearing them

    Performa would make things worse.There is some type of anesthetic in them which reduces sensation.I used them once when I had nothing else and it was like having a wooly sock on my dick.


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    #9
    johnr1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 965 ✭✭✭johnr1


    Those fcuking fetherlite things should be banned ! I've had them burst twice in one week, damm all sensation, - allround killjoy. Pleasuremax are better, but what I've found best recently are Mates "Skyn". Herself of the time liked them too :-).


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    #10
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Performa would make things worse.There is some type of anesthetic in them which reduces sensation.I used them once when I had nothing else and it was like having a wooly sock on my dick.
    Hmm maybe my friend previously used woolly socks.. :pac:


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    #11
    bryaner
    Registered Users Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭bryaner


    johnr1 wrote: »
    Those fcuking fetherlite things should be banned ! I've had them burst twice in one week, damm all sensation, - allround killjoy. Pleasuremax are better, but what I've found best recently are Mates "Skyn". Herself of the time liked them too :-).

    Jammy bastard twice in a week..;)


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    #12
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    johnr1 wrote: »
    Those fcuking fetherlite things should be banned ! I've had them burst twice in one week, damm all sensation, - allround killjoy.

    Partners have never had a problem with them - I would suspect you are using the wrong size or not putting them on properly if it's been twice in one week


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    #13
    johnr1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 965 ✭✭✭johnr1


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Partners have never had a problem with them - I would suspect you are using the wrong size or not putting them on properly if it's been twice in one week

    Perhaps, but whichever, we found the other brands I mentioned better for us.
    It's been some time since the fetherlite incidents and tbh I never noticed different sizes of the same brands on display anywhere.


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    #14
    johnr1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 965 ✭✭✭johnr1


    bryaner wrote: »
    Jammy bastard twice in a week..;)

    As in got the jump twice in one week ????

    Try twice every day for about 6 months son.

    Good times :-)


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    #15
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    bluewolf wrote: »
    Partners have never had a problem with them - I would suspect you are using the wrong size or not putting them on properly if it's been twice in one week

    They advertise them as being thinner than others to provide greater sensation. They are 52mm wide, whereas regular condoms are 56mm wide.

    So that difference can make them uncomfortable for some men if they a bit wider.


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    #16
    Asphyxia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,740 ✭✭✭Asphyxia


    I won a durex hamper once and it came with a big selection of condoms, my boyfriend found pleasuremax to be the best out of the others.


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    #17
    bryaner
    Registered Users Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭bryaner


    johnr1 wrote: »
    As in got the jump twice in one week ????

    Try twice every day for about 6 months son.

    Good times :-)

    Memories..:eek:


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    #18
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Try the durex comfortXL. I'd always presumed they were just for pornstars but they're really not that much bigger at all. I reckon a lot of guys should be using them butare too embarrassed or just assume they're massive. very comfortable


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    #19
    nicecupotay
    Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭nicecupotay


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Ive always found Durex Pleasuremax top drawer,easy on,not too thick and nicely ribbed/contoured for herself

    Yeah definitely try the Pleasuremax,herself also reckons they are probably the best ones


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    #20
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    parker kent wrote: »
    They advertise them as being thinner than others to provide greater sensation. They are 52mm wide, whereas regular condoms are 56mm wide.

    So that difference can make them uncomfortable for some men if they a bit wider.

    I was wondering why you were saying thinner condoms meant more uncomfy, I had to read that a couple times :pac:
    That's fair enough then yeah, size issue it is.


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    #21
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    bluewolf wrote: »
    I was wondering why you were saying thinner condoms meant more uncomfy, I had to read that a couple times :pac:
    That's fair enough then yeah, size issue it is.

    It's like wearing a shirt one size too small. You almost get away with it, but it's just too fecking tight!


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    #22
    D'Agger
    Registered Users Posts: 13,385 ✭✭✭✭D'Agger


    parker kent wrote: »
    It's like wearing a shirt one size too small. You almost get away with it, but it's just too fecking tight!

    Brilliant comparison :pac:


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    #23
    Nathaniell
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭Nathaniell


    Maybe the problem was more mental - sorry to get all hippie on you, but it might be that because you haven't used them for a while you're unsure of your performance using them, therefore under perform. If you didn't notice the condoms being too tight from the beginning, then that might not be the issue.

    Have a **** with them on and see what happens.


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    #24
    investment
    Registered Users Posts: 573 ✭✭✭investment


    Asphyxia wrote: »
    I won a durex hamper once and it came with a big selection of condoms, my boyfriend found pleasuremax to be the best out of the others.

    I'd say.. Your boyfriend wasnt the only person who enjoyed the hamper:rolleyes:

    I've also found Durex to be tight as well, I heard the aldi one is good


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    #25
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Otis Driftwood wrote: »
    Performa would make things worse.There is some type of anesthetic in them which reduces sensation.I used them once when I had nothing else and it was like having a wooly sock on my dick.

    Sonofa! Purchased a box of those things. And to think, I find regular Durex to be very sensitivity reducing... It's no wonder I spend 6* hours1


    *slight exaggeration


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    #26
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    i cant find a condom to fit me as majority of them squezze the life out of me :( sucha mood killer Im gonna spend a fortune on sised condoms so i can find one that fits and and one that has nice sensitivity as averadge sise ones hurt its not very nice :(


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    #27
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Could you be rushing with the excitement. We all say we don't but sometimes it gets a mind of its own.

    Maybe you can ask your partner to put them on for you and that may make a difference for you.


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    #28
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    CDfm wrote: »
    Could you be rushing with the excitement. We all say we don't but sometimes it gets a mind of its own.

    Maybe you can ask your partner to put them on for you and that may make a difference for you.


    *sniggers*


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    #29
    Leelaa22
    Registered Users Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Leelaa22


    CDfm wrote: »
    Could you be rushing with the excitement. We all say we don't but sometimes it gets a mind of its own.

    Maybe you can ask your partner to put them on for you and that may make a difference for you.


    Actually I must say I think that does make a difference. When I put them on the guy, he gets alot more turned on by it and it hasnt failed ;) so that could be a good tip


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    #30
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    Try a few different ones, the tingle Durex ones offer heightened sensation. Plus you will have a lot of fun in the testing stages :D

    Also you shouldn't be too stressed about orgasming during sex. Talk to her about it and then you can just have sex, you'll enjoy it, she'll really enjoy it and then you can use another method to get you to finish afterwards.


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    #31
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    Just to add to the above, after a 2 year gap it is natural there will be issues. You will be anxious for starters. You'll also have adjusted to masturbation, so any other sexual activity will take a while to acclimatise yourself again. Basically practice will make perfect!


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