Strangest/Weirdest Things You've Witnessed?

brummytom · 14-06-2009 8:49pm #1

Saw three nuns after mass today scrambling to get into an old 3-door Nissan... shouldn't have made me laugh but did.

And getting pushed into a road by two dozen undercover policeman who then proceeded to leap onto the big bloke behind me was quite strange.

I'm sure everyone's got mental stories... I'm bored; tell

Rented Mule · 14-06-2009 8:53pm

They were probably Christian Brothers incognito and on the run.

InkSlinger67 · 14-06-2009 8:54pm

brummytom wrote: »

Saw three nuns after mass today scrambling to get into an old 3-door

I once scrambled a nun on the bonnet of a three door funnily enough!

brummytom · 14-06-2009 8:55pm

Rented Mule wrote: »

They were probably Christian Brothers incognito and on the run.

I thought they looked like men but presumed that was just because they were nuns....

jigglywoo · 14-06-2009 8:56pm

I remember when I was a little kid sitting out on the footpath. There was a big squashed snail a few meters down the path, dunno how I remember it being there. Anyway, a man was walking up the path and he stopped, took out a tissue, scooped up the snail, put it in his pocket and walked on.

I'm pretty sure that's what happened

brummytom · 14-06-2009 8:57pm

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

I once scrambled a nun on the bonnet of a three door funnily enough!

Her?

Fair play

Borneo Fnctn · 14-06-2009 8:57pm

I saw a Chinese homeless person. Beat that.

Randy Shafter · 14-06-2009 9:06pm

I was on holiday a few years ago in Spain with my mates i heard a crashing sound so i went out to the balcony and looked down the road. A little van had overturned on its side and a group of Spaniards just pushed back onto its 4 wheels and it puttered off without a bother! No one on the street seemed too fussed about it like it happens everyday! :eek:

TheZohanS · 14-06-2009 9:09pm

jigglywoo wrote: »

I remember when I was a little kid sitting out on the footpath. There was a big squashed snail a few meters down the path, dunno how I remember it being there. Anyway, a man was walking up the path and he stopped, took out a tissue, scooped up the snail, put it in his pocket and walked on.

I'm pretty sure that's what happened

That reminds me of a story from when I was really young, couldn't have been more than 4 months old.

I was a grand sunny day and I ws in my pram being pushed when all of a sudden I needed to have a poop. Anyhow this guy starts staring at me as if I had two heads. I really needed to go, but the fecker kept staring.

Can't poop when some dodgy fecker is staring you out of it.

I was nearly in tears. :mad:

The_Minister · 14-06-2009 9:59pm

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

easyeason3 · 14-06-2009 11:01pm

The_Minister wrote: »

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

Were you bending down at the time?
And if so, will you be more wary about where you bend down again?

The_Minister · 14-06-2009 11:07pm

easyeason3 wrote: »

Were you bending down at the time?
And if so, will you be more wary about where you bend down again?

I was at the checkout in Tesco, so I was getting into the spirit of things.

PirateShampoo · 14-06-2009 11:07pm

A man eat his own head.

PirateShampoo · 14-06-2009 11:09pm

The_Minister wrote: »

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

Yeah downing a bottle of vodka will do that to you. Hope you wasnt to sore afterwards.

Faith+1 · 14-06-2009 11:15pm

PirateShampoo wrote: »

A man eat his own head.

Just like David Blane!!:D

easyeason3 · 14-06-2009 11:18pm

The_Minister wrote: »

I was at the checkout in Tesco, so I was getting into the spirit of things.

Cruising the aisles looking to catch a ladyboys eye was it

Banter Joe · 14-06-2009 11:33pm

Faith+1 wrote: »

Just like David Blane!!:D

That would explain all the talking through his arse...

Super-Rush · 14-06-2009 11:59pm

I once saw a man waiting for a train in Neesden in London wearing a blood stained dressing gown and drinking a bottle of champagne.

Overblood · 15-06-2009 12:04am

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Borneo Fnctn · 15-06-2009 12:10am

Scutter man baby. It's all about scutter man.

poisonated · 15-06-2009 12:13am

I have two
1)When I was in Paris having dinner I saw a man pickpocket someone...It was one of those situations where you dont know what to do...I didnt want to be hunted down by some p.issed off french man thats for sure

2)when I was in New york,there was this homeless man with a sign saying "will allow you to tell me off for 2 dollars" or something to that affect...anyway I didnt have the balls to do it but my brother started telling him off...your man looked like he was really getting angry but then just laughed and said cool thanks or something...that was very funny

actualy I have another one
I was in this German hotel when an old man came up to me and said you have to take off your swimming togs to get into the steam room...That was scary,needless to say I just walked off as quick as I could...I must have been around 14

Super-Rush · 15-06-2009 12:16am

Best use of the word scutter ever

SoupyNorman · 15-06-2009 12:18am

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Aren't you just glad he didnt get on the bus.

Ann22 · 15-06-2009 12:22am

super-rush wrote: »

Best use of the word scutter ever

I'd be inclined to call it 'skither'. Didn't look right with two 't's.

Super-Rush · 15-06-2009 12:27am

Ann22 wrote: »

I'd be inclined to call it 'skitther'.

All depends where you come from i guess

kwalshe · 15-06-2009 12:28am

Ann22 wrote: »

I'd be inclined to call it 'skither'. Didn't look right with two 't's.

my sis calls it "The Trotskie's"

easyeason3 · 15-06-2009 12:31am

kwalshe wrote: »

my sis calls it "The Trotskie's"

Is she Russian?

bronte · 15-06-2009 12:32am

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Brilliant!

MizzLolly · 15-06-2009 12:50am

I seen a person die last week

jane86 · 15-06-2009 1:01am

MizzLolly wrote: »

I seen a person die last week

How?

C0ward · 15-06-2009 3:47am

MizzLolly wrote: »

I seen a person die last week

I killed a man last week, 'twas sick.

Strangest/Weirdest Things You've Witnessed?

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