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12-06-2020, 07:31   #46
sammyjo90
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I find it strange the majority of people here wouldnt ask him for money.
Its not giving a lift. Its carpooling

Every one I know who has been the person in need of being brought to work by carpooling has contributed something to the driver, be it weekly or monthly.
Granted this is probably laid out at the start.

Tell him you need the money and if he doesnt chip in he's gonna have to find alternative arrangements.
You are both adults after all..just stopping picking him up is a bit childish.talk to him properly
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12-06-2020, 07:38   #47
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So you don't have to go out of your way to collect him and you want reimbursement? Jaysus, call it even given his company on the drive!

I wouldn't ask given it's hardly an inconvenience by the sounds of things.
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12-06-2020, 07:44   #48
Potential-Monke
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So you don't have to go out of your way to collect him and you want reimbursement? Jaysus, call it even given his company on the drive!

I wouldn't ask given it's hardly an inconvenience by the sounds of things.
That could be part of the problem! I love my own time in my car, especially on the way to work. I've collected people a few times, but I've also been late because of this so had to stop offering, made excuses, but I was well covered as they lived in the city centre and we work on the outskirts, so it was out of my way and 5pm city centre traffic was killing my fuel economy!
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12-06-2020, 07:45   #49
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Book annual leave..dont tell him (you dont have to) after a couple of days or it happening a few times he might cop on...

Or just ask for money ?
He is going to bad mouth you anyway, but you will feel much better..
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12-06-2020, 07:45   #50
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Jes Irish people are so weird. Just ask him for a contribution to petrol going forward. It’s not that difficult and it’s not in any way impolite!
"Just" - possibly one of the most hateful/annoying words in the dictionary!
If doing or saying something is so easy that on a whim a person can say to themselves: I'll 'just' do that and presto jobs a good 'un my problem is solved then they're operating on a different level than the majority; but unfortunately it's not as easy or as simple as that in reality.

Why else are there shrinks/therapists etc making a killing and also forums catering to relationship/personal issues on this very site. If you're that confident/self assured yourself then all I can say is fair play.

Also, I don't know or care if you're Irish or not but fair play for making that sweeping generalisation (truthfully - no joking or sarcasm). It's a pity other stereotyping is considered some kind of ist/ism/phobic.

And a happy Friday to all of ye who are engaged in gainful
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12-06-2020, 07:48   #51
mrcheez
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engaged in gainful?
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12-06-2020, 07:48   #52
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Play Daniel O' Donnell non-stop.
He'll soon find his own way.
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12-06-2020, 07:49   #53
Basq
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Originally Posted by Potential-Monke View Post
That could be part of the problem! I love my own time in my car, especially on the way to work. I've collected people a few times, but I've also been late because of this so had to stop offering, made excuses, but I was well covered as they lived in the city centre and we work on the outskirts, so it was out of my way and 5pm city centre traffic was killing my fuel economy!
That's a bit of a different problem though..

.. if you enjoy your commute (like I do.. podcast's etc) and/or you find yourself being made late etc. as a result, then indicate to him that it's not going to be a regular thing or stop it entirely.

This thread is asking said person for money for the 'inconvienience" of picking him up.
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12-06-2020, 07:57   #54
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engaged in gainful?
"gainful" - employment, that is, or working.

A big part of the subject matter threadside
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12-06-2020, 08:00   #55
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Years ago , when fuel and cars were relatively much more expensive relative to income , contributing petrol money was almost automatic.
This practice was so ingrained in irish people back in the 70’s, that I still get offered it from older people on long journeys, even today.

So being advised not to ask for it is silly and arrogant, however I’d go further and ask for a decent contribution to motoring expenses which would be more substantial then fuel money only. Broach the subject by saying can we have a chat about you contributing to my motoring expenses in the morning as he shuts the door when you drop him off.
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12-06-2020, 08:00   #56
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It’s a tricky one. I was giving a manager of mine a lift for 3 months due to their circumstances of having no car. 1 hour extra in my commute each day, up to 3 hours on a few days there was snow. Week one they offered to pay when I stopped for petrol. Thought it was just a temporary arrangement so I said no. Fast forward 3 months later, no mention of money at all and I couldn’t say anything given their manager role & them evaluating my performance for a higher up manager. In retrospect, I should have nipped it in the bud and set the time limit for how long I could give the lifts. They caught a lift with another colleague a few times who outright said to them that they couldn’t do it again as it was taking them out of their way.
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12-06-2020, 08:11   #57
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It’s a tricky one. I was giving a manager of mine a lift for 3 months due to their circumstances of having no car. 1 hour extra in my commute each day, up to 3 hours on a few days there was snow. Week one they offered to pay when I stopped for petrol. Thought it was just a temporary arrangement so I said no. Fast forward 3 months later, no mention of money at all and I couldn’t say anything given their manager role & them evaluating my performance for a higher up manager. In retrospect, I should have nipped it in the bud and set the time limit for how long I could give the lifts. They caught a lift with another colleague a few times who outright said to them that they couldn’t do it again as it was taking them out of their way.
That's how it starts. One can only hope that others reading this thread will take heed. Not much you can do really once the initial refusal to accept payment is accepted by the passenger; hard to bring the topic up after. It's a rock and a hard place - not to all posters though!
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12-06-2020, 08:19   #58
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That's a bit of a different problem though..

.. if you enjoy your commute (like I do.. podcast's etc) and/or you find yourself being made late etc. as a result, then indicate to him that it's not going to be a regular thing or stop it entirely.

This thread is asking said person for money for the 'inconvienience" of picking him up.
It is an inconvenience. You lose all the freedom that having your own car should give you. You have to start at he same time every day, you cant leave early or work a bit later to build up a few overtime hours.
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12-06-2020, 08:23   #59
Basq
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It is an inconvenience. You lose all the freedom that having your own car should give you. You have to start at he same time every day, you cant leave early or work a bit later to build up a few overtime hours.
But what I'm saying is monetary gain not going to fix any of the above..

.. to fix that, you need to stop picking the person up entirely.
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12-06-2020, 08:23   #60
Alf Veedersane
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That's a bit of a different problem though..

.. if you enjoy your commute (like I do.. podcast's etc) and/or you find yourself being made late etc. as a result, then indicate to him that it's not going to be a regular thing or stop it entirely.

This thread is asking said person for money for the 'inconvienience" of picking him up.
The OP specifically said that its not inconvenient.

It's the principle...the passenger has saved €500 from getting a lift from the OP and most people feel it would be appropriate and polite and common courtesy to offer at least a token to the OP given that the OP is saving them that kind of money.
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