Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Asking work colleague for money for giving lift to work

  • 11-06-2020 1:03am
    #1
    nails1
    Registered Users Posts: 495 ✭✭


    Is it acceptable to ask a colleague for cash for picking him up and giving lift to work. His house is on my direct route to work so I’m not going out of way or spending extra cash to give him a lift in and dropping him home.


«134567…11

Comments

  • #2
    CosmicFool
    Registered Users Posts: 492 ✭✭CosmicFool


    If I was you I wouldn't bother asking. Good deed and all that. Hopefully he would give you a few quid on his own or buy a gift etc etc.


  • #3
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    It's a miserly thing to do but your call.


  • #4
    kippy
    Registered Users Posts: 18,391 ✭✭✭✭kippy


    CosmicFool wrote: »
    If I was you I wouldn't bother asking. Good deed and all that. Hopefully he would give you a few quid on his own or buy a gift etc etc.

    Yes. One would hope that they would recognise your kindness and give a little back at some point.
    If not and you feel your like to get some compensation, I would start to drop subtle hints and if nothing forthcoming after a period of time slowly make it more awkward.
    Each to their own though. Personally I'd not expect or ask for anything if it were on my route anyway and didn't cause me any major hassle, but I would understand other points of view on it.


  • #5
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Suggest you take turns....

    You drive some days they the other...


  • #6
    jaffa20
    Registered Users Posts: 4,508 ✭✭✭jaffa20


    Make a few pit stops for petrol now and again. They might pay for it.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Strumms
    Registered Users Posts: 24,800 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    I wouldn’t personally, it’s a good deed, generous for sure but... it’s not out of your way and not costing you extra to do it. On the other hand, if I’m the recipient of such a kind offer I’d be throwing you or looking to throw you a score every say week or two weeks as a gesture of thanks and appreciation, bit of petrol money as a gesture of thanks.

    It’s not a given that your mate though is unappreciative, just might feel ‘socially awkward’ about doing it. I wouldn’t let it bother you, you are helping somebody who is probably (one would hope) quite thankful, but is maybe shy about showing it...


  • #8
    CageWager
    Registered Users Posts: 545 ✭✭✭CageWager


    I always avoid these arrangements. Its a nice gesture but then you feel like you can never stop offering.


  • #9
    nails1
    Registered Users Posts: 495 ✭✭nails1


    The thing is he has saved nearly 500 euro travel expenses in the 4 months I’ve been collecting him. While im trying to put money aside to keep car on the road. I’ve told him about me struggling to keep car running and never offered. I could be too anxious or too proud to ask him for money but sometimes I think he taking me for granted. Considering just not picking him up anymore he should be the one offering not be asking for money.


  • #10
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 12,995 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    nails1 wrote: »
    The thing is he has saved nearly 500 euro travel expenses in the 4 months I’ve been collecting him. While im trying to put money aside to keep car on the road. I’ve told him about me struggling to keep car running and never offered. I could be too anxious or too proud to ask him for money but sometimes I think he taking me for granted. Considering just not picking him up anymore he should be the one offering not be asking for money.

    It sounds like you've built up resentment already so it won't end good.
    Just alter your plans for a while and he'll stop expecting.
    Leave earlier or later a few times. Go shopping after work etc.
    Anyhow with CoVid now you have the ultimate excuse to get him off your back. Tell him you don't feel comfortable not abiding by the 2m rule.
    These arrangements get messy, not just the financial aspect of it.
    There's the insurance issue for starters.
    There's also the feeling of being tied to his routine and not being able to do your own thing of you want to make plans.

    To thine own self be true



  • #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    its a tough one

    id never ask

    but id think very little of someone that would sit there taking up weight and saving money that wouldnt think to throw you a few quid for petrol every week


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 12,995 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    its a tough one

    id never ask

    but id think very little of someone that would sit there taking up weight and saving money that wouldnt think to throw you a few quid for petrol every week

    Yea, it'd be different if it was happening occasionally or for a defined period say while his car was off road etc but 4 months of constant lifts while he has the option of public transport is taking advantage.

    To thine own self be true



  • #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Yeah, if you've an issue you should have used the covid as an excuse..


  • #14
    major bill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,421 ✭✭✭major bill


    nails1 wrote: »
    Is it acceptable to ask a colleague for cash for picking him up and giving lift to work. His house is on my direct route to work so I’m not going out of way or spending extra cash to give him a lift in and dropping him home.

    I’d rather not give the person a lift than ask for money! Tbh it’s up to that person to make their way into work , If they don’t have transport of their own and someone was Constantly dropping them in then they really should be looking after that person whether it’s money or lunch etc


  • #15
    F1ngers
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 10,246 Mod ✭✭✭✭F1ngers


    nails1 wrote: »
    While im trying to put money aside to keep car on the road.

    You'd still have that problem if you stopped giving him a lift.

    Don't just not pick him up, let him know so he can make alternate arrangements.


  • #16
    wonski
    Registered Users Posts: 13,687 ✭✭✭✭wonski


    Purple Mountain wrote: »
    It sounds like you've built up resentment already so it won't end good.
    Just alter your plans for a while and he'll stop expecting.
    Leave earlier or later a few times. Go shopping after work etc.
    Anyhow with CoVid now you have the ultimate excuse to get him off your back. Tell him you don't feel comfortable not abiding by the 2m rule.
    These arrangements get messy, not just the financial aspect of it.
    There's the insurance issue for starters.
    There's also the feeling of being tied to his routine and not being able to do your own thing of you want to make plans.

    There is no insurance issue for starters, even if you do get money back for petrol etc, unless your insurance does not allow you to commute.

    There are however people out there who will never get you even a bottle of wine once a year after you give them a lift for a year.

    One of those I guess since the op brought the issue up.

    COVID 19 is your friend this year. Perfect excuse ;)

    It's nice to be nice. Some will take advantage for years if they can, though.


  • #17
    Sam Quentin
    Registered Users Posts: 2,223 ✭✭✭Sam Quentin


    Familiarity Breeds Contempt.
    Remember that and::in general/in life and stress, annoyance, empathy, sympathy even slight anxiety will all become minimal and manageable.....
    Not everyone is as decent as yourself,.and he may or may not offer you some kind appreciation for your kind service..if he was like me I'd demand become even annoying that u take some petrol/diesel money from me... But as I said not everyone is like yourself and meself.. you will create an awful terrible atmosphere if you ask,and you'll only annoy yourself,.so be patient and see what happens.
    Ps: it's a life lesson.


  • #18
    Strumms
    Registered Users Posts: 24,800 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    nails1 wrote: »
    The thing is he has saved nearly 500 euro travel expenses in the 4 months I’ve been collecting him. While im trying to put money aside to keep car on the road. I’ve told him about me struggling to keep car running and never offered. I could be too anxious or too proud to ask him for money but sometimes I think he taking me for granted. Considering just not picking him up anymore he should be the one offering not be asking for money.

    Ok, yeah can see where you are coming from. 4 months would be in the region of 88 working days. 176 journeys there and back. Hasn’t cost you ‘extra’ but it wouldn’t have cost him much to wise up and actually ‘show’ appreciation by offering petrol money. Might be naivety which is the most likely scenario but if he’s just a scabby unappreciative fückwit that will manifest itself eventually in other aspects of his behavior.. long term you could claim you need to drop a family member to work so therefore won’t be passing. See how it pans out.


  • #19
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    nails1 wrote: »
    4 months I’ve been collecting him ... never offered.

    He's making a fool out of you.


  • #20
    dresden8
    Registered Users Posts: 3,289 ✭✭✭dresden8


    "Giving lift"

    "Taxi service"

    Two different things.

    It's not his problem. It's yours. You set the rules.


  • #21
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 12,995 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    wonski wrote: »
    There is no insurance issue for starters, even if you do get money back for petrol etc, unless your insurance does not allow you to commute.

    There are however people out there who will never get you even a bottle of wine once a year after you give them a lift for a year.

    One of those I guess since the op brought the issue up.

    COVID 19 is your friend this year. Perfect excuse ;)

    It's nice to be nice. Some will take advantage for years if they can, though.
    Insurance in the sense that he's in the car for 10 journeys a week so if the OP has a crash on one of those journeys, there's a higher risk of a 3rd party claimant as opposed to if he drove to work alone.

    To thine own self be true



  • Advertisement
  • #22
    bb1234567
    Registered Users Posts: 5,491 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    You can't really ask him for money. I think you should just stop giving him lifts and leave it at that.


  • #23
    wonski
    Registered Users Posts: 13,687 ✭✭✭✭wonski


    bb1234567 wrote: »
    You can't really ask him for money. I think you should just stop giving him lifts and leave it at that.

    You can. Many people are too soft. Just suggest sharing the petrol cost, no matter how small and see if he/she bites.

    Nothing wrong with it. I know of few people who work in my place bragging how they saved moving here or there because it's cheaper, yet having no ways to get to work, completely relying on others giving them lifts.

    They are there 10 years+ and on similar income.

    Took me 3 years to figure them out.

    Few of them also having a quick cig before getting into their "taxi". Had few guys I had to wait for as they were never ready.

    They now are using someone else.

    Few people at work I would drive anywhere if they are in struggle, car broken down etc and would never expect or ask a penny from them, others I am blind to now.

    Easier to figure them out if you work somewhere 10 years and more, I admit ;)


  • #24
    Strazdas
    Registered Users Posts: 17,976 ✭✭✭✭Strazdas


    bb1234567 wrote: »
    You can't really ask him for money. I think you should just stop giving him lifts and leave it at that.

    I've never heard of people charging to give lifts, so your solution seems sensible.


  • #25
    dresden8
    Registered Users Posts: 3,289 ✭✭✭dresden8


    wonski wrote: »
    You can. Many people are too soft. Just suggest sharing the petrol cost, no matter how small and see if he/she bites.

    Nothing wrong with it. I know of few people who work in my place bragging how they saved moving here or there because it's cheaper, yet having no ways to get to work, completely relying on others giving them lifts.

    They are there 10 years+ and on similar income.

    Took me 3 years to figure them out.

    Few of them also having a quick cig before getting into their "taxi". Had few guys I had to wait for as they were never ready.

    They now are using someone else.

    Few people at work I would drive anywhere if they are in struggle, car broken down etc and would never expect or ask a penny from them, others I am blind to now.

    Easier to figure them out if you work somewhere 10 years and more, I admit ;)

    Harsher than I would have put it but some people are selfish bastards.

    A simple 50:550 petrol arrangement up front would have sorted it. But you didn't. And are wondering why it didn't happen organically..

    Hint: Because it didn't suit.


  • #26
    BorneTobyWilde
    Registered Users Posts: 35,609 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    You'll end up like this



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3xD_HL7L08


  • #27
    s1ippy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭s1ippy


    Just waiting for the thread entitled

    "Colleague suddenly stopped giving me a lift"


  • #28
    ChikiChiki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    Sure you are going that way anyway. You would still have the same expenses and time travelling even if this colleague didn't exist. I am not understanding how this is troubling you :confused:

    Just seems like a small bit easier to keep giving a lift rather than risking any sort of unneccessary rift.


  • #29
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 12,995 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    ChikiChiki wrote: »
    Sure you are going that way anyway. You would still have the same expenses and time travelling even if this colleague didn't exist. I am not understanding how this is troubling you :confused:

    Just seems like a small bit easier to keep giving a lift rather than risking any sort of unneccessary rift.

    It's a matter of principle.

    To thine own self be true



  • #30
    ChikiChiki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    Purple Mountain wrote: »
    It's a matter of principle.

    Actually, I have thought it out a bit more in the last few minutes and you are right.

    Definitely this colleague should be offering to pay partial fuel costs at the minimum or giving the OP a few bob a week.


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    Atlantic Dawn
    Registered Users Posts: 81,111 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    M


    I'd never ask but after them saving €500 plus and me not getting anything not even say a case of beer for €25 (5% of their savings) I'd tell them I have now moved and commuting from Belize and will be unable to pick them up each morning.


Advertisement