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09-10-2011, 21:20   #1
KevinStephens
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Advice on Older Man/Younger Woman...

I met a beauty from Ukraine on holidays.
She is 24.
I am 45.
Nothing happened.
Sometimes she was actually mean to be.
But I thinks we clicked.
And...I can't get her off my mind.
I am rarely wrong about this.
Although admittedly I am catastrophically wrong.
Please advice ?.....
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09-10-2011, 23:43   #2
Delancey
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How did you meet her ? Was it through an agency ? Is there an element of mail order bride here ? These are important questions in the context of where you go from here , not sure if her being '' mean '' to you is not something to be concerned about.
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10-10-2011, 10:06   #3
Taltos
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Kevin - can you please elaborate on what the issue is that you are seeking advice for?

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10-10-2011, 11:21   #4
KevinStephens
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Advice needed..

Basically the advice i require is am i being foolish? Is she too young?

No i met her on holidays in Spain not thru mail order bride.

We are in contact on skype.

At the moment at least i am doing the running. I keep thinking this is foolish , if only i was ten years younger.

Of course i am unfamiliar with Ukraine culture, it ciuld never work with Irish girl.
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10-10-2011, 11:47   #5
I am a friend
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Of she was mean to you when you first met then it doesn't make sense that you chase her.
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10-10-2011, 12:35   #6
ManOfMystery
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OP, without trying to sound harsh ................. you were on holidays, you met her, nothing happened and she was actually mean to you at times.

What makes you think something will suddenly develop now over Skype? It sounds like you're reading into this situation an awful lot considering nothing even happened between you two.
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10-10-2011, 13:48   #7
KevinStephens
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Yes nothing happened but i felt there was a chemistry.

Normally im quite good in judging these things.

But the age thing combined with the culture thing combined with i suppose avunerability on my part ( perhaps desperation too as time is pssing very fast).

Is the age gap just too great?
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10-10-2011, 13:52   #8
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My appraisal is that its about 99 pc no chance abd 1pc a chance. I should use skype fairly quickly quick ask her does she has any romancic interest. If she does then its easy to organise another holiday. If not then move on....

But i am curious is 24/45 just too great a gap?
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10-10-2011, 14:20   #9
Taltos
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Op - 20 years is not unheard of.
One thing to consider though is the relative maturity of each of the parties.

If for example this girl is a mature 24 year old you would stand a better chance than say a 24 year old who is still finding themselves. I know I changed an awful lot around that age.

Best of luck though, don't let one knock back put you off meeting people though. If you are feeling desperate do what you can to quash those feelings - potential partners will pick up on this and run a mile...
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10-10-2011, 14:31   #10
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Thanks...

Well she is mature and im immature for my age so i guess that helps!

Thanks.
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10-10-2011, 23:12   #11
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Not unheard of, but in my experience, if a relationship with that age forms in the modern world, the younger person eventually moves on. There is a culture of treat 'em mean keep em keen among a certain kind of woman (immature?) but if she is/was really into you she would simply find you fascinating.
Why is it that you think you could never work with an Irish girl? Or do you mean an Irish girl of that age? There might be a clue there. But hope it works for you anyway.
 
11-10-2011, 00:29   #12
KevinStephens
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Thanks...

Well to answer your question. With The irish woman the age difference would not work in my opinion. Im not so sure of my own opinions on this front. Is it right etc, is one taking advantage if a vunerability etc. In the case of ireland most social groups would not really appeove. It may be different in Ukraine.

But thank you for you help and advice. I have more or less decided my course of action...
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11-10-2011, 01:25   #13
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Well Kevin, I'm an Irish woman who has lived in Eastern Europe and had a relationship with a very nice Ukrainian man, although I haven't visited the country myself. I hope I'm not insulting any of our Eastern friends when I say that in some parts, there is a real macho culture where men get respect for their money and women and women get respect for how they can play men. It's changing fast, but the same economic conditions exist for many people in the Ukraine and it's very easy for a young person to internalise these values from previous generations. But people are people no matter where they are, and if she's already been 'mean' it's not a good sign. And at 24, she has lots of options.
But don't give up on relationships. I have a friend who's 47. He's just hooked up with a lovely 35 year old woman after. She's Irish and mad about him. I see marriage and a second family on the cards. BTW he was chronically single for 10 years before meeting her.
 
11-10-2011, 08:07   #14
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Who is mean to someone they've just met??? People you should give a wide berth to, that's who! iIf she wasn't beautiful, would you tolerate that? Perhaps that's her age....some women of that age might think it's okay to treat men like that because they've got options and that shows immaturity. That's just my take on it. Surely you want to meet someone who's attractive AND kind? You could be setting yourself up for hurt here, OP and as you said yourself, you don't have time to waste.
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11-10-2011, 11:26   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KevinStephens View Post
Basically the advice i require is am i being foolish? Is she too young?

No i met her on holidays in Spain not thru mail order bride.

We are in contact on skype.

At the moment at least i am doing the running. I keep thinking this is foolish , if only i was ten years younger.

Of course i am unfamiliar with Ukraine culture, it ciuld never work with Irish girl.
There are plenty of age gap relationships around, especially when the man has plenty of money and the woman has few options. Though I'm guessing if she has already been mean to you, she maybe doesn't fall into the latter category. But if you want to pursue a mismatch of unequals, then don't blame her if she just ends up using you.
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