I'm a woman in my late 20's and I've been masturbating since the age of 9, and watching porn since the age of 10, which is when I got a TV in my room. I just can't stop. I've had a blood test at the doctor and it showed that my testosterone levels are a little elevated. I got some medication to balance my hormones but it didn't work at all and gave me bad side effects. So I have given up on the medical route and I am not looking for medical advice. Apart from anything else, it may not even be a medical problem, the hormone levels may have nothing to do with this.
I am almost constantly aroused. I masturbate to orgasm several times a day but it's not enough to satisfy me. I don't have a boyfriend at the minute and when I did he couldn't satisfy me. I can't orgasm from normal sex or normal fantasies. I think I've become desensitised from watching too much porn. Although I am frequently aroused, I can only orgasm if I think of extreme s&m. I am so addicted to porn that I have been banned from my office's computer system for looking up porn at work.
I think about sex all the time. I don't sleep around because I know there's no point since I cannot get satisfied that way. This issue is affecting my life for several reasons:
1. When I do fall in love again it will upset me and my boyfriend that making love does not make me orgasm.
2. I waste so much of my day fantasising, masturbating an looking at porn.
3. I just don't want to be like this, I feel it is quite soul destroying.
What can I do? I don't want to talk to anybody about this in real life. I just wish I could forget about sex completely. I am so jealous of women who struggle to become aroused or enjoy sex. Please someone suggest something, this has really taken over my life. I waste time masturbating when I should be working or doing my hobbies. I do alot of sports and I try to use sports to take the edge off my arousal but it doesn't help.