A naked blonde walks into a bar, carrying a Poodle under one arm and a 6 foot Salami under the other.
The bartender says, 'So, I don't suppose you'd be needing a drink?'
The blonde says "I definitely do, after what just happened to me."
The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"
The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says
'I'm gonna pound my favourite bitch with my giant sausage'.
So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"