A naked blonde walks into a bar, carrying a Poodle under one arm and a 6 foot Salami under the other.

The bartender says, 'So, I don't suppose you'd be needing a drink?'

The blonde says "I definitely do, after what just happened to me."

The bartender says "I'm so sorry. What happened?"

The blonde says, "Well, my boyfriend and I were just about to make love, when out of nowhere the crazy bastard says

'I'm gonna pound my favourite bitch with my giant sausage'.

So I grabbed them both and got the hell out of there!"