Golf

Donald Trump takes a trip to Ireland alone.

He's looking for a game of golf.

So he's in Doonbeg and asks the staff.

"Hi guys, I'm here on my own and looking for a really good player to have a round against tomorrow, I mean really good, after all I'm a stable genius and super gifted at everything"

Pat McAlpine says
"If you're really as good as you say then there's only one man you can play and that's Brian O Brien, he's handicapped at about 3 but plays better than that, here's his number"


Donald calls Brian and asks if he's up for a game

Brian says " I'll be there at nine o'clock but I could be half an hour late, is that OK?"

"No problem" says Donald.


The next morning Brian turns up at 9 o'clock with a bag of left handed clubs and smashes Donald by 6 at the close.

Needless to say Donald was not happy and called for a rematch to which Brian agreed.

"I'll be there at nine o'clock but I could be half an hour late, is that OK?"

"No problem" says Donald.


The next morning Brian turns up at 9 o'clock with a bag of right handed clubs and smashes Donald by 8 at the close.

Donald is not happy.


"I've been off my game, we need one more game tomorrow.

By the way, you've played me left hand and beat me, played me right hand and beat me. How do you decide which bag to bring?"

"Well" says Brian, " If the wife is sleeping on her left side, well, I bring the left handed clubs.

If she's sleeping on her right side, well then I bring the right handed clubs".

Donald says Well what do you do if she's lying on her back?"

"Then I'll be half an hour late."