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30-11-2019, 21:28   #1
splinter65
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Parking spaces

Mods if there is a more appropriate forum for this I apologise, please move it.
Hi
Just wanted to get some opinions on an incident.
My 85 year old mother lives alone in bungalow in a small but packed suburban estate in a medium sized rural town. She doesn’t drive a car.
She has a quite large front, cobblelocked, including a drive way.
On Friday morning she woke at 7 and went as always to the front of the house to draw back the curtains and lift the blinds. It was still dark.
To her great surprise and some alarm there was a bronze 171 Santa Fe parked on her driveway, reversed in, pulled up as far as possible, complete with wing mirrors folded in and a frost protector on the windscreen.
She waited for a few minutes then carried on with her routine, returned to the window at 7.20, car was gone.
At this point I’ll say that the road is filled with cars every night from 6.30 on, especially in the last fortnight because the lady 2 doors down is sadly terminally ill and her family are sleeping there overnight understandably and parking cars on the road as well the usual cars and cars from a neighbouring street where there is no parking.
My mother and I speculated that the car on her drive was associated with this neighbours sad situation but found it strange that none of them had knocked on the door to mention that they’d like to park.
Roll on to this morning and she woke at 6 to find the car right back on the driveway. She hovered around the window, as cold as it was, determined to uncover the phantom Parker.
Lo, at 7.15 arrives a tall stout lady in her 50s who commences getting her car ready to leave.
So my mother goes out and the lady looks at her quizzically but says nothing and my mother says “hello. I live here”. She described herself as “a night nurse in this road” but when my mother asked her where she said that was “confidential”. She said she simply couldn’t find anywhere else to park her car.
My mother told her that she had frightened her, the woman said she was sorry about that but had “assumed” the house was empty.
My mother’s house looks anything but empty. There are lights on and off, blinds and curtains up and down and the whole place is maintained to perfection.
The exchange ended with the lady asking my mother if she could park tonight and my mother agreed for her neighbours sake but there wasn’t any kind of apology for not asking permission and it’s all a bit strange.
How would you guys have dealt with this?
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30-11-2019, 21:52   #2
JDMC2
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Your mum is a very polite lady (unlike the ‘parker’).....good on her
The nurse in question is, on the other hand was very presumptuous and should’ve asked your mum if she could park outside her house. ...I’m very surprised that a carer would do such a thing.
All in all, it’s probably safer for your mum to have a car parked outside her house plus, she’s doing her unfortunate neighbour a favour.
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30-11-2019, 21:52   #3
kceire
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If it’s to facilitate the neighbour that’s good of your mother, but the ‘night nurse’ should have knocked in and being polite and mentioned it to your mother. She also should have offered her a contact card and details in case your mother needed the space back.

What would happen if you decided to go to your mothers and spend the night.
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30-11-2019, 22:09   #4
splinter65
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If it’s to facilitate the neighbour that’s good of your mother, but the ‘night nurse’ should have knocked in and being polite and mentioned it to your mother. She also should have offered her a contact card and details in case your mother needed the space back.

What would happen if you decided to go to your mothers and spend the night.
My husband also points out that if anything happened the car on my mothers property she might be liable but I’m not sure about that.
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30-11-2019, 22:22   #5
Borgo
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Very strange that the nurse didnt knock in and just ask your mother about parking in the garden and also explain the situation why. Whether your a nurse or not you dont just rock up to someone's driveway and park there without them knowing. Id let the nurse park there in the future alright but its just a pity she didnt just knock in, bit annoying alright.
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30-11-2019, 22:34   #6
AulWan
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I wouldn't believe that story about being a night nurse for a second. It absolutely stinks of bull****.

There is something very very weird about this. Nobody just assumes they can use someone elses driveway like that. And then says nothing, just looks at your mother quizzically, when approached?

Does your mother have gates on her property? I'd be there when yer wan arrives next time and question her a lot more closely, considering she was unwilling to disclose where exactly she was coming from. I wouldn't just assume it was the ill neighbour.

I'd be very uncomfortable with this situation, and would not let someone take advantage of my mother like that, sorry.
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30-11-2019, 22:42   #7
Mrs OBumble
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I wouldn't believe that story about being a night nurse for a second. It absolutely stinks of bull****.
I would believe it - there are hospice type organisations which provide in-home overnight nursing services.

It's quite possible that one of the neighbour's family told the nurse that she could park there, knowing that your mother didn't have a car.

Being worried about liability "if anything happened to the car" is a red-herring. It's got less chance of something happening to it parked there than if it was parked on the road.

IMHO your mother should tell the nurse that it's fine to park there, but ask for a contact phone number in case she needs to the car moved to facilitate visitors or deliveries.
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30-11-2019, 23:03   #8
AulWan
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I would believe it - there are hospice type organisations which provide in-home overnight nursing services.

It's quite possible that one of the neighbour's family told the nurse that she could park there, knowing that your mother didn't have a car.
So why didn't she show ID? Prove she was a nurse? Why didn't the neighbour call in first to ask permission, even put a note through the door? The OP says the house is well lit an obviously occupied and the neighbour knows the house is not unoccupied.

Nah, there is more to this, the whole situation is extremely odd.
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30-11-2019, 23:21   #9
the_syco
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Why didn't the neighbour call in first to ask permission, even put a note through the door?
Stress makes people forget to do things.

And the stress of having a terminally ill wife could cause the husband to forget to ask.

=-=

If your mam has an issue with it, ask her to close her gates. But be careful about accusing anyone in that family of anything; they may not even know who told the nurse that she could park there!
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30-11-2019, 23:41   #10
AulWan
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Stress makes people forget to do things.

And the stress of having a terminally ill wife could cause the husband to forget to ask.!
If this so-called nurse is a professional pallative nurse, then she should know better.

Anyway, I'd be making a complaint to whatever agency employs her.

Its not right putting fear into an 85 year old woman who lives alone in this way.
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30-11-2019, 23:53   #11
Hello 2D Person Below
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Have ye confirmed with the family of the terminally ill neighbour that the nurse is assisting them?
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01-12-2019, 14:18   #12
splinter65
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Update:
My mother doesn’t have gates the whole of her front is open to the road.
After giving her permission to park last night mam waited up past her bedtime (10pm) to see what time she would arrive at. So she came at 10.20 or so and spent quite a bit of time locking the doors putting the cover on the windscreen folding in mirrors etc before nimbly walking the few steps down to the house where the patient lies ill.
Honestly, the first night she parked she had absolutely no idea who was going to arrive at my mothers after 10.20 expecting to park on the driveway. If she wanted to park she could have put a note in the door with her contact details asking if it was ok.
Of course it would have been fine. I just think she had a monumental cheek and she’s lucky it was us and not others who have told me they’d have been steaming over it.
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01-12-2019, 14:45   #13
AulWan
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I agree about the monumental cheek. Once the nurse found out your mother had no clue who she was and no arrangement had been made with the neighbour that she could park there then she should have been a hell of a lot more apologetic. I think the neighbour owes your mother an apology too for putting her under stress. My mother is of a similar age and this would have freaked her out.
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01-12-2019, 19:26   #14
splinter65
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I agree about the monumental cheek. Once the nurse found out your mother had no clue who she was and no arrangement had been made with the neighbour that she could park there then she should have been a hell of a lot more apologetic. I think the neighbour owes your mother an apology too for putting her under stress. My mother is of a similar age and this would have freaked her out.
I’m absolutely excusing my neighbour and his family who are going through hell with their beloved wife and mother dying at home after a long period of bad health.
I’m quite sure they have no idea where the nurse is parking nor would you expect them to be interested either.
If that nurse continues adopting the attitude she has to other people’s property I’m sure she’ll get her comeuppance in the very near future. Not everyone will react so calmly as we did.
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02-12-2019, 01:15   #15
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Get a bollard installed, they have them for 9.99 in Aldi.
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