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06-03-2020, 23:53   #91
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Originally Posted by nthclare View Post
Ahhh middle aged and I think ive fallen in love for the first time in my life.
She's as mad as a box of frog's but not your red flag npd type, more like full of life and accepts im bisexual and has no hang ups as she said she was going through a lezzer stage up until 4 years ago and she knows how bi people think and the of thinking with both sides of the brain.

We're living apart but know each other 2 years now, we'll go exclusive though just the two us, we both have sons, mines 19 hers is 3 from a sperm donation.

We've both houses we got out of inheritance money so no mortgage which is great, she's by the beach I'm in the Burren.

So being a dad I adapted to her world and her mine.
All that shoite of kids getting in the way goes out the window when you really love someone and are a responsible adult.

She's a bit of a gypsy bohemian type and thats cool, not a Liberal lefty loon but a moderate type, well I suppose she's normal with her convictions.

Like my self we think social justice warriors and strident activists are knobs..

But sure we're probably knobs as we both know what its like to sit on one.
But as they say love conquers all.

Middle age is cool.
Enjoy every minute.
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07-03-2020, 01:32   #92
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If the guy with the black hood and the scythe is awaiting you in three years time OP then you're not 'middle aged', you're old! You can only live in the now whether you're 2 or 92, therefore don't bother your head about any of it.
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08-03-2020, 13:34   #93
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Originally Posted by francois View Post
The only difference I noticed is the involuntary grunt I emit when bending down to pick stuff up
And the groan when you try to stand upright again...
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08-03-2020, 13:55   #94
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Approaching 80 and more at peace than ever in my entire life.

It is an acceptance of increasing but unimportant limitations as values and priorities gentle down. Having been seriously limited by CFS/ME for decades is a great help with this .

Being ALIVE is a joy and a privilege. Older now than any of my family reached. My only brother drowned at 19; I have had so much more of life .

I was thinking earlier today that of late I am more at peace with "retirement. " I kept moving on to more and different active work. Only retired from market trading early 70s .. 12 hour days ...

Now I am aware that I am... well.... past it! Able to rest and revel in birdsong and cat purr and not be expected by folk to participate and involve.
I have retired!

Life is a blessing with all its pains ( and I have plenty!) And I no longer expect of my body and mind what it really does not need to do. My life is in its eventide. Thankfully so.

I HAVE STOPPED! ( well, nearly.. just that flowerbed to sow..)
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19-03-2020, 10:53   #95
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What is age but a state of mind!
Jaysus jazz is the closest thing to eternal torture. Why would a person inflict such pain on ones being
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19-03-2020, 11:35   #96
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Jaysus with this thing going round, we will be lucky to make it middle age at all.
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19-03-2020, 12:24   #97
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My birth cert says I am in my mid 50's, but in my mind I would say I think of myself as being in my 30's. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I get a bit shocked at the age process result that appears before me - that's not how I see myself.

There are changes occurring, my weight is rising and hair is grey to white, I am starting to collect some ailments and I now visit doctors and hospitals more often than I used to.

On a positive note, I have two 'kids', one mid 20's and another mid teens. I really enjoy interacting with them and bestowing upon them the benefit of my experiences. They actually appreciate my inputs in politics, music etc and they are constantly amazed at my ability to draw on a previous technical career to keep the broadband operating in the house and in connecting the plethora of devices and services that we use daily. They also get great amusement from watching 'Reeling in the years' and hearing my 'real remembered' commentary.

My eldest has gone into a good tech career thanks to my influence and he still enjoys doing occasional electronic projects with me. My youngest is a big music fan and is out of step with her peers by being a fan of the more classic rock associated bands and artists. Until the current virus situation, we were going to see The Who, Ben Portsmouth (look him up), Greenday and ELO, during this year.

I also work a lot with young people and am considered a bit of an oracle for my random knowledge on random subjects - gathered over a lifetime of being a self confessed geek.

Overall, middle age ain't bad, if only the body co-operated with the mind in it's quest to stay young(er).
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19-03-2020, 12:31   #98
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Originally Posted by BrianD3 View Post
I'm a couple of years younger than 45 and have noticed changes in outlook and mindset in recent years. I don't think it's just about my age but rather my age combined with other factors and life events (which tend to happen at this age). In my case, the events/factors have been relatives getting sick and dying, my career being stuck in a rut, not having a partner or any friends, having a long commute. Life seems mundane, disappointing and fairly short.

It's often said that you shouldn't compare yourself to others but this is easier said than done. By age 45, it will be quite apparent who of your age cohort has done well in terms of their career and who has not done so well. Whereas at age 25, many will be in a relatively similar situation as everyone is just starting out

People come out with cliches about how you can do anything you want at any point in your life. But you really can't because you you are limited by time, money, energy and may have commitments that you didn't have when you were younger. Other people's perceptions of you may also affect you e.g. you want to change to a particular career at age 45 but face age discrimination. Also, as time goes on you have less time to recover from errors of judgement.

I find myself thinking back to when I was a third level student. I had very little money and used to get stressed about exams but I was very focused and there was always something to prepare and aim for. Effort got rewarded - if I studied hard, I did well in my exams. I was cynical about a lot of things but also optimistic about my own future. I barely thought about my own mortality or getting old. i suppose I was under the illusion that life would be somewhat like an extension of college (but with more money) which it certainly has not been

100% of your experience of life is created by your thinking, not life events or circumstances. It seems it simply couldn't be and it's not what the vast majority of us know or are brought up believing.

But when you do really see this, it changes everything. I recommend having a look at the writings, videos, podcasts of Sydney Banks, Michael Neill, Amir Karkouti and others. Note: this is not about 'changing your thinking' or positive thinking - it's MUCH bigger than all of that.

Last edited by lastusername; 19-03-2020 at 13:18.
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