I think she has a mindset that she won't leave, even if she might want to. At the moment, I feel she still has hope for us. She wants to make us work.
Given that situation, do you not think the humane an decent thing to do is to end the marriage instead of allowing her false hope in an atmosphere of betrayal and indifference to the impact on her life of your actions?
I don't get why you don't see how cruel it is to allow this situation to continue indefinitely. At the very least you are wasting your wifes time by not letting her find love with someone who respects her enough to care about that.